My lesbian daughter just married today, but I wasn't there

[HockeyMom]

She lives in NY and I am in Florida. They got engaged two years and had planned to marry in 2014 when they thought they could save enough for a big wedding. Well, it didn't work out that way because finances, job loses, health reasons, etc. I told both of of them that if you love each other, want to be together for the rest of your lives, do not put it off until you can afford that "dream wedding". A few days ago they both decided to marry even if that big wedding was not in cards for them, right now.

I told both of them that in a year, 5, 10, 20 years later they could RENEW their vows and have that big party. Imagine how much more SPECIAL that would be?

While I am sad that I wasn't there for her wedding, I am very happy that she lived in a state where she could marry who she loved. That big fancy wedding is meaningless whether a couple is straight or gay. It is nice but being married for 40 years myself, it is now a total blur. That is not important at all.

All I want to say is that I love my daughter and want to see her happy. It doesn't not matter to me that she didn't have a big wedding and that I wasn't there.

I love you, my dear daughter. Your happiness is all that I want.

[Faygo Kid]

1. Nicely said, and congrats.

Have a glass of champagne for the happy couple, anyway.

And while you're at it, have another and your husband, too, for your 40 years together.

[liberal_at_heart]

2. Congratulations to them and to you! You are so right about how a big ceremony doesn't matter.

I was so poor I didn't even wear a wedding dress, but 19 years later I am still married to the same man. I do hope you will get to see them renew their vows someday though that way you can be there for it.

[peacebird]

3. Congats on having a new daughter in the family! You sound like a great mom.

[msanthrope]

4. I've known a few couples who have gotten married and held a delayed reception on the first year's

anniversary. It's always been a nice time.

Congratulations to your daughter!

[LeftofObama]

5. Congrats to all of you!

May you all have many many years of happiness!

[Boomerproud]

6. Gay or straight she's lucky to have a mom like you.

Best wishes to all.

[adirondacker]

32. +1000. nt

[Yo_Mama]

8. Yeah, the ceremony doesn't matter

And you're right, if they want to, they can throw a big bash later on. But it's really the life together that matters.

I'm happy for your daughter and glad she has such a sensible mother! It's amazing what some parents put their kids through!

[KoKo]

9. Your Happiness is All I Want! Thanks for this post! K&R!

[pnwmom]

10. Congrats to the happy couple! n/t

[tblue]

11. Mazes tov to all of you!

I wish your daughter and her wife a long happy healthy life together. Thank you for sharing this with us. I can't wait to go to my first = wedding. Seriously.

[Agony]

12. You have your head screwed

on straight! Congratulations to you and your family.

Here is to more happiness!

Cheers!
Agony

[monmouth3]

13. Your sentiment is the lovliest gift she could ever receive..n/t

[giftedgirl77]

14. Congrats!!!!

to you & your daughter. My mother & her partner live in FL, they can't even list the same address on their business records for fear of losing their jobs if anyone found out.

We may be doing babysteps now but I will be happy when these issues aren't fought tooth & nail.

[HockeyMom]

20. This bothers me

I have had this discussion with my DIL's sister who lives outside of Orlando even before they married. They come to see either of us in Florida. What if something were to happen? Florida will not recognize their NY marriage. Neither spouse will have any legal rights. Why the HELL should they have to see an attorney to draw up POA, etc., simply to visit their relatives in a state that will not recognize their marriage from another state?

We both have agreed that we as their legal blood relatives in this state will fight anyway we can so that they can make decisions for each other in Florida should something happen. Why the hell should we even have to think of this??????

[giftedgirl77]

23. Exactly,

It is absolute nonsense. My mother & her partner work in separate schools within a few blocks of eachother, yet they each have to drive fo fear of the wrong finding out & reporting them.

As of now her will & everything is in my name with the understanding that I will give it to my mother in law.

It's stupid, petty, & just down right wrong.

[nolabels]

41. I like to peer under the hood to see what makes things tick

If it wasn't for greedy people trying to graft the goods of others in whatever way possible so much of this would never go on. The greedy ones often like to try caste others down into some lower dregs where the so called "society" would deem it appropriate. This of course after the extraction of what ever worldly goods that were possessed by the ones needing to be caste down.

It really only makes sense when the christian biblical idea would tell the rich man about something like 'if he could fit through the eye of needle'. The point being the possession is the sin (old biblical idea- sin is something that makes you weaker). The grafters feel the extractions they are making will make them stronger but it is obvious when they die they were a slave to their possessions and wasted parts of their lives and soul for it.

[TheCowsCameHome]

15. Your gift to her is beyond any measure.

Your expression of your love for her is the ultimate gift.

[libodem]

16. What an awesome supportive mom

Your blessing means much more than any fancy shindig.

Best wishes to them, both.

[malaise]

17. May they have a happy life

Congrats HockeyMom!

[WinkyDink]

18. Awesome, HockeyMom. (I'm married 40 years this year, also; had a courthouse wedding.)

[awoke_in_2003]

19. The big ceremony can come later...

the wife and I got married at the JP 19 years ago. We will have a shindig next year. Congrats to your daughter and daughter in law.

[enough]

21. What great advice, HockeyMom! They're lucky to have you.

Best wishes to them and congratulations to everybody. This is so inspiring about what really matters. Hope you are feeling happy tonight -- I know you are.

[Tikki]

22. Yeah for the happy couple.

Love conquers all.



Tikki

[Squinch]

24. Congratulations. May you all find great joy in each other.

[JitterbugPerfume]

25. My wish for you,

and your daughter is that you have love and happiness, now and forever.

[MotherPetrie]

26. Congrats and best wishes to all!

[DonRedwood]

27. I'm so sorry you couldn't go!

We have that same problem....we can leave home and get married but then none of our friends will be there...

We've been patiently waiting for our state to allow us to marry!

[SleeplessinSoCal]

28. Wow! She actually took her mother's advice....

That's novel right there.

[HockeyMom]

29. She is 34

Once they reach a certain age, they don't dismiss everything you say.

[Iwillnevergiveup]

30. How wonderful for all of you

Florida will eventually be on the right side of history, too...marriage equality is an unstoppable movement.

Congratulations and best wishes to you all, HockeyMom.

[burnodo]

31. I hope that someone who was there took some good video

so you can at least see everything that happened

[Stinky The Clown]

33. Congrats all around!

That's a great story. Thanks for sharing it.

[mstinamotorcity2]

34. Tell her to have

a Happy and Wonderful life. And kudos to you Mom. Great kids are usually raised by Great Parents.

[cal04]

35. Congratulations to All, HockeyMom

That's great

[bearssoapbox]

36. Congratulations!

HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!!



So happy for all of you.

[HarveyDarkey]

37. Wishing them all the happiness they deserve

and congrats to you on being a new MIL

[NewThinkingChance40]

38. Tell her congrats from a fellow DU member

and remind her that even if they can't have the big wedding now, their love is all that matters. A wedding isn't about a piece of paper, it is a celebration of two peoples love for each other, and no matter if that happens now, 5 years from now or another time, it will mean the same because they love each other.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

39. Even small weddings can easily run into the thousands.

[Enthusiast]

40. Cool.................nt

[calimary]

42. Congratulations, HockeyMom!!! To you and to your daughter as well!

I wish her and her partner all the happiness, companionship, warmth, and love in the world! May they have many happy, healthy, and hassle-free years together! Thank you for sharing this with us!

[aquart]

43. I'm glad New York finally got off its ass.

Pissed as shit that the Stonewall state wasn't FIRST.

[aquart]

44. Best weddings I ever went to were the two cheapest.

People got to talk and no one was drowned out by a deafening band. Lovely and loving.

[cate94]

45. Congratulations!

Your daughter is a lucky woman. She lives in a state where she can marry the love of her life and she has a wonderful mom!

[Liberal_in_LA]

46. congrats

Congrats

[barbtries]

47. Mazeltov!

[the_sly_pig]

48. Hockey moms Rock!!

Congrats to your daughter!

[lunatica]

49. This made me cry

I'm a mother and understand when your child needs to do something to be happy. Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. I'm happy your daughter was able to live this day.