All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay!

[joeybee12]

Cross-post from LGBT

http://www.democraticunderground.com/11376068

[aquart]

1. Do they still have to wear the underwear?

[joeybee12]

2. Well, according to Sans-crotum, we're all sluts,

so we never wear underwear...I would assume not, in answer to your question.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

3. I have to admit that the amusement factor is cool. But,

take these baptism wars to their logical conclusion (I know, religions are the epitome of irrational behavior, so applying logic to them is not easy), and nothing good can come from it.

It is insulting, pointless, even self-defeating for a group of moronic moroni supporters to take a jewish icon like Anne Frank, an innocent girl caught up in one of the most evil times in the last century. Her life story gave a small insight into the horrors that Nazis, Soviet Socialists, Cambodians, and several African tribes committed upon their own people. For the Mormons to attack and debase her story is an insult, plain and simple.

But it is as offensive to those same Mormons to return the favor with another "baptism."

Nothing good ever happens when a war of ideas or faiths escalates. I cannot predict what the result will be, no one can, but as much disdain that I feel for all organized religions, I still support people wanting to cling to their irrational beliefs as they see fit, as freely as our society can permit. So, instead of simply finding this funny and cool, can I suggest that we take the first mature step and cool it?

[Zambero]

8. Anne Frank?

So Anne Frank is now officially wife # 98 to some dead guy named John David Kimball? pathetic!

[joeybee12]

9. There's a separate thread about that...

And apparently it's not the first time they've "converted" her.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

13. several times, despite promises to quit, mormons have "converted" her

Being slightly dead at the time, she raised no personal objections, although many Jewish and Israeli organizations did.

[Arugula Latte]

4. I personally just "gayed" someone named "Melissa Baker."

You're welcome, Melissa!

[siligut]

5. I converted two!

There is a high rate of suicide among LGBT Mormons. Utah is ranked ninth highest in suicides. I am guessing a good number of those are LGBT Mormons, excommunicated Mormons or ex-Mormons.

[The Magistrate]

6. Are They Gay-Married Polygamously, Sir?

It seems fitting, somehow....

[Zambero]

7. It was the least I could do

With a random assist from the LDS geneological index, I was able to convert two very lucky gentlemen from this long-neglected demographic. I hope they find each other in gay heaven soon!

[msongs]

10. that is an awful thing to do to the glbt community. can't u make them something else? nt

[joeybee12]

11. Well, since they're dead, we won't see them at the bars

or pride parades, so that's a plus.

[Zambero]

15. Hmmm... So what will differentiate them up there?

I also can't see them taking up drinking at this "late" stage since they are still Mormon after all. Multi-colored underwear perhaps?

[joeybee12]

16. Maybe they'll go all crazy...

And imbibe some caffeine!

[auburngrad82]

12. Domine Domine Domine, you're all Catholics now!

[Arugula Latte]

23. Al Dente, Al Dente, Al Dente

Whoosh! Now everyone is a Pastafarian. I shall anoint your foreheads with marinara.

[lapislzi]

14. That may be, but they'll never be fabulous.

Not with that underwear.

[riderinthestorm]

17. Zombie-baptism! I like it! (Who knew Joseph Smith was actually writing a sci-fi novel?)

I just brought 2 more souls into the light...

Isn't there some way to rev this up a bit? Bestow upon the new members some kinky underwear at least? Throw them a "welcome home" par-tay?

[renie408]

18. Wow. Since all dead people are now Mormons, that is covering a lot of ground. n/t

[The Second Stone]

19. Why limit it to dead people.

Secretly gay living ones. Call it a "closeting" ceremony and then let them know they are "closeted" and invite them to come out.

But seriously, this is really immature and counterproductive. Don't do it.

[polly7]

20. Woot!

I just converted my gr. gr. gr. something or other John J. Borrowman !

(From my family history records: In the spring of 1840 in Lanark County, Ontario, Canada, Latter-day Saint missionaries taught 24-year-old John Borrowman the gospel of Jesus Christ. John sought his father’s advice about joining the Church. William Borrowman was unyielding in his determination to prevent his son from seeking baptism. After more than two full days of discussion, William said that if John chose to join with the Latter-day Saints, he would lose his inheritance—the family farm. As the oldest living son, John was the rightful heir to this farm where he had worked side by side with his family all his life. Worse than that, John knew he would lose his father’s companionship as well—a devastating thought to a 24-year-old who loved his family.

Yet, when the call came from Brigham Young for battalion members to proceed directly to Salt Lake City, John and his partners immediately abandoned their lucrative careers as prospectors and started the arduous trek through the Sierra Nevada mountain range to the Salt Lake Valley.)

I may go to hell for this.

[lumberjack_jeff]

21. All your mormons are belong to us. n/t

[Arugula Latte]

22. Damn.

That was a good one. Wish I'd thought of it.