Never so finely balanced, never so fair. . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!!

[skip fox]

Rush ("Empathy is a certain sign of weakness&quot Limbaugh is saying: "I'm heartened that the RNC finally chose a fair host for these debates. . . . But let's get right to it, shall we? . . . Governor Romney, how do you answer those critics who say your record clearly indicates that you are not only not a conservative, but against the family, an anathema to capitalism, and indeed, a hater of America! . . . Some even say you're a socialist pig who desires health care for the masses, living wages, and sexual-racial equality, not to mention that you are a despicable mess of a human being! . . . Just how do you answer such damning charges? . . . You have 30 seconds."

[Scuba]

1. "A Big Blob of Santorum"

[skip fox]

2. "Next, a tough one. . . . Governor Perry, how did you come to love

American, The Constitution, and Jesus so much? . . . Did it happen all at once or over a period? . . . Was it due ot a strong family upbringing? . . . . Take your time to answer. . . . (And to the side): Queue music."

[skip fox]

3. "I would love to be the moderator at the Republican debates.

They would be able to ask me whatever they wanted! . . . I've got the scoop on everything!"