Slow Death By Depression

[Are_grits_groceries]

By Aaron Krager
<snip>
Depression kills not in an instant but through a torturous process of draining the life out of you. For the most part the illness numbs the body and the mind. The numbness hinders one from enjoying old hobbies or time with good friends. In a way it paralyzes progress and healing. It prevents one from walking the path to recovery.
<snip>
Let me explain it a little better before I lose you in the simile. Imagine all of the worst things you believe about yourself, the imperfections you do not want others to notice, and the fear of what people think of you. Multiply it by the largest number you can fathom. Now those words beat down on you with such debilitating force that the only comfort to be found exists in your bed, if you are lucky.
<snip>
I could throw out a few other analogies but it would probably dilute what I am trying to express. Honestly, I can no longer dream of a life where I do not have to battle depression. I cannot access the emotions felt during past moments. Memories feel more scripted or acted out with wannabe actors. The crushing sadness or exalting happiness disappeared. I do not mean to come off as overdramatic but for me this feels like the truth. It is what I am experiencing, what I am living, and what I am in a war with.

As a result, I am tired. Tired of the battling. Tired of the medication. Tired of trying to talk about something I hardly feel anymore. Tired of the passing time.
<snip>
http://aaronkrager.com/2012/02/27/slow-death-by-depression/

Piercing.......

[xchrom]

1. du rec. nt

[HereSince1628]

2. And then I see a darkness...

Depression is a life changing ache that screams of what sshould be possible
but somehow can't be reached.

Johnny Cash suffered from it repeatedly and captured some of it's affect:

&feature=related

[RKP5637]

3. K&R !!! n/t

[slackmaster]

4. Good read. I've lost enough friends to depression that I feel I have a good understanding.

Some people with depression refuse to seek treatment at all, no matter what anyone says or what happens. They rarely get better on their own. Many end up taking their own lives.

Of those who do seek treatment, it often takes months or years of trial and error with drugs and therapy to find a regimen that works. A lot of people don't make it through that.

The good news is that most diagnosed cases of major depression can be treated. But try telling that to a person who is suffering from it, and you will start to see the self-perpetuating nature of the illness. I haven't ever felt it myself but I've been way too close to it for comfort. The effects of any major mental illness, including addictions, are devastating to the victim and to loved ones.

[patrice]

5. also: anomie

http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Anomie

[Zenlitened]

6. Powerful. Dreadful. Terrifyingly real.

Last edited Fri Mar 2, 2012, 11:34 PM - Edit history (1)

It's like drowning.

Like slipping slowly downward, into darkness and numbing cold, while the shimmering surface above forever recedes.

To someone who is that depressed, like the author of the essay, I say: Get on meds. I'm serious.

Talk with your doc not only about anti-depressants but about something to elevate mood. To enable you to simply lift your arms or use your voice. Caffeine won't do it, coke won't either.

But there are prescription meds out there that, used correctly, can help begin to make a difference.

For someone in such a hopeless state, I think it's really a matter of having nothing left to lose. When we reach those depths, it's like we've disappeared already. Something, anything is worth a try, if it means a chance to swim toward the surface again.

:hugs:

P.S. I'll try to post some resources later tonight, when I'm back at my desktop.

Edited to add:

P.P.S. Haven't been back at desk for any length of time, but wanted to clarify. I'm talking about stimulants, such as amphetamine salts, prescribed in conjunction with anti-depressants. This is considered (still, I believe) an off-label use for deeply, paralyzingly depressed patients, people with MDD. Under a doctor's supervision, obviously, as these are controlled substances and carry very real risks of their own.

[FrodosPet]

20. Which meds?

The ones that make you sleep 20 hours a day, the ones that leave you shivering cold in the middle of an 85 degree day, or the ones that send you into an axe wielding rage where you destroy your shed and put huge gouges into the side of your house?

Been there, done that.

[Londoncalling]

23. They don't work for me

On medication I had insomnia, migranes, electric shocks through out the body and weight gain. I shut down and didn't talk, I
was able to live in denial, even though inside I was still depressed and had terrible anxiety. I could cover it and pretend everything is okay when it was far from it until I had a complete breakdown, which still on medication. I am fortunate to by in the UK and have a good GP who knows I am very sensitive to drugs, she is happy to keep me off them.
I have been off medication for three years the insomnia is still a fight which I never had before I was on medication. I still get electric shocks too.

[Myrina]

7. I can relate.

And I've been on meds ... I think they were part of my learning to 'not care' ... because EVERYTHING used to send me to one emotion or another. I used to be so passionate about whatever I was involved with - good or bad - that it almost seems logical that I burnt out my 'emotional sensors' over time.

Negative things used to happen pretty regularly (due to alot of bad choices and lack of education on how to make better ones) that I got to a point where, when watching one of my favorite movies, the heroine runs out to the train tracks after an affair ends and says that she "had no thoughts at all, only the overwhelming desire never to feel anything ever again.", and that clicked for me ... THAT'S how deep my pain was ... that's what would 'relieve' me - having no feelings. For Anything. Ever. Again.

And the Universe must have obliged, because over the past 5 or so years, I have lost the ability to feel. To care. To get upset. Or to get happy. I look at who I was in my 20's and she's an entirely different person. Things I used to like to do/places I'd go that I've completely forgotten about. I don't feel anything. I don't care about anything. Nothing makes me mad, nothing makes me happy, nothing tastes good, nothing makes me sleepy ... I'm so used to being beat down and ridiculed for my opinions/beliefs/perspective that I just stopped having them. I just really don't give a damn.

I feel like a zombie just passing time in this life.

[crunch60]

18. I am reaching out to you and sending you a big HUG myrina.

I think my travel's through the world, and witnessing some horrific sights and events, has helped me through those dark times. I always feel grateful that I can remain compassionate and not to be to hard on myself for my inabilities and shortcomings. I remember the faces of fear and longing in the eyes of hungry and ill children.

Last time I faced Death about six years ago I secretly wished I would get hit by a bus. After about 3 weeks of walking around like a zombie, I looked in the mirror and said, not yet! What made me get through this latest crisis, I don't know. I have to smack myself and say, snap out of it, don't you know you are one of the lucky ones! I use my art as therapy, when I am in my studio creating, time does not exist. It is one of the most healing things I can do for myself.

[Marrah_G]

8. major depression is so debilitating

It brings you to a point where you hate everything about yourself and your life. I take a pill every morning that keeps my mind from going to that really dark place.

[LaurenG]

9. Since I moved to a much less sunny climate

each winter is harder and harder to bear. I "get" this article.

[Brickbat]

10. My depression was never self-directed, which I know was unusual, but I was overcome by a terrible

feeling of the void behind existence. It's hard to explain, but it was devastating.

[RoccoR5955]

11. And the meds often make you feel like

a lab rat, that they are experimenting on...
"This one doesn't work, let's try that one. Oh, the side effects of that one are too bad, let's try this other one." And the dosages. Often times they give you too much or too little.
And what good does talking do any way? I've talked till I'm blue in the face, that never changes things.

I can see where the author feels like he is being drained like the water from a bathtub. Multiplied his own shortcomings, faults, and other defects until they overcome everything. Time to put it to rest.

And the meds, and the talk that do nothing, often make one tired. Many times the people who give therapy, should seek therapy for the very problem they are trying to fix.

Seasons don't make things any better, nor do age. The older I get, the harder it is to take these winters, even if they are milder. And don't get me started about moving to the south. There's no change of seasons there. Guess we're damned if we do, and damned if we don't.

Oh well, at any rate, nobody ever makes it out of this place alive anyway, now do they?

[bongbong]

12. A book

Some people understand the origins of their depression better after reading "Denial Of Death" by Becker.

[LuckyLib]

33. One that really describes depression is William Styron's

Darkness Visible. Powerful. Medication is critical in climbing out of the depths. And like everything else, reactions, doses, and individual bodies and brains are all different -- thus it takes adjustment and time. In our instant fix-it culture, this is hard to deal with.

[Proles]

13. I do think depression can be rather misunderstood.

There's lots of people out there who say things like, "tough it out," "get over it," or, "there's people in the world who have it much worse than you," but the fact of the matter is that chemicals in your body (or the lack thereof) manipulate emotions, so depression is just as much of an illness as anything else. I'm sure not wanting be perceived as depressed can result in you bottling your emotions, which could make things worse.

[hedgehog]

14. Clinical depression is not the same thing as existential angst or mourning.

People always look for a cause for depression, and sometimes a life crisis can be the tipping point to make depression flower. However, I've seen depression arrive out of nowhere and hit people leading healthy, worthwhile lives.

[slackmaster]

15. I believe it never comes out of nowhere, that there is always a root cause or combination of factors

One thing I've noticed at my present age is that menopause is often a triggering event for depression in women. OTOH I know several post-menopausal women who say that it stabilized them, even ended recurring bouts of depression that had been caused by pre-menstrual tension.

[hedgehog]

16. I agree with you that hormones can have an effect.

What I am referring to is that perfectly happy people can get dragged down into depression for no apparent external cause. It's easy to find causes, but then we look at other people who've had hard times and notice that thet aren't depressed.

[nashville_brook]

24. there's also been some research to suggest that early life adversity

can be a factor in lifelong depressive cycles. so, children who experienced great sadness or abuse are more apt to depressive features as adults. some researchers are asking if the trauma doesn't impact a person's genetic profile.


maybe the people who seem to have no current triggers are feeling the effects from years ago?

http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/02/28/childhood-stress-may-cause-genetic-changes/35336.html

The researchers looked at 99 healthy adults, some of whom had a history of parental loss or childhood maltreatment. DNA was extracted from each of the participants using a blood sample, then analyzed to identify epigenetic changes to the glucocorticoid receptor.

The researchers then performed a standardized hormone test to measure the stress hormone, cortisol.

The researchers found that adults with a history of childhood adversity — maltreatment or parental loss — had modification of the glucocorticoid receptor (GR) gene, which is thought to change the way this gene is expressed on a long-term basis.

They also found that greater methylation was linked to blunted cortisol responses to the hormone provocation test.

“Our results suggest that exposure to stressful experiences during childhood may actually alter the programming of an individual’s genome. This concept may have broad public health implications, as it could be a mechanism for the association of childhood trauma with poor health outcomes, including psychiatric disorders as well as medical conditions such as cardiovascular disease,” said Tyrka.

[YoungDemCA]

35. Well, I (thankfully) had little adversity or no trauma in my early life...

But my parents did.

My mom's parents divorced and sold their house when she was 19 and away at college. Both of them were alcoholics, and my grandma had bipolar, borderline, and narcissistic personal disorders.

My dad was an Air Force brat who had a strict USAF officer as a father and an alcoholic mother. They also divorced at some point in my dad's early life.

Do you reckon that, in light of all that, that impacted the way they raised me-for better or worse? (hopefully better!)

[mdmc]

17. thanks for the oP

[MrSlayer]

19. Six months out of work, tapping my retirement money to survive.

I'm there. I don't know if I'm depressed, I'm not suicidal or anything but I do know that everything sucks right now. Every aspect of my life is affected by this. Self esteem in the gutter, uninterested in things that have always been sources of enjoyment ( sex, music, pleasure writing), overwhelming guilt for things that aren't my fault etc.

I need a lift big time but I don't see one coming.

I suppose it could be worse.

[Honeycombe8]

41. I am worried about you. I identify with your post. I'm in danger of being laid off.

I haven't been laid off, and I may not be. I also am in a better position than most, having saved $ in the past, in fear of this sort of thing happening.

Like you, none of my usual interests interested me. I did some exercises, walked the dogs, cleaned out some drawers, etc., etc. I went through the motions but got no satisfaction from anything. I felt like I was waiting...for something, but I don't know what. Couldn't sleep well (unlike me). Couldn't eat (REALLY unlike me). I dropped down into a deep depression. Really deep. Thoughts of suicide, but since I have dependents (pets), that was out of the question.

Then suddenly the employment agency got me some interviews. Someone was interested in interviewing me? Things were looking up. It didn't solve the sense of disloyalty and betrayal, but it helped. I came out of it as quickly as it descended on me. I can't say what will happen if I don't get one of those jobs, though.

Have you been able to get any interviews? Do you have a spouse or children or someone to help you through this difficult time? Is there a possibility of getting temp or contract work in your field? One thing that did help me a little, for a short while (and this may have helped me in the end more fully, given more time) was that I made myself count my blessings, consider what I did have going for me, and remind myself all that many others do not have. My health, my savings, my dear pets that I love, my brother to help me figure things out financially, etc. Nothing is more important than health, I decided. And family, of course. My brother is the only family that I can rely on, so I'm thankful for him.

I live alone, so one thing I thought I might do is get involved in some charity work. That would help me focus on problems of OTHER people, rather than just myself. It would also remind me of all that I have that some others don't have. And it would get me more socially involved (most of my friends & social involvement have been through my current job). Have you considered that?

Do you have enough to retire on, if you supplement your income with temporary employment, so that you at least have that to count on? I suspect not...I didn't, and most people don't. I was just wondering if you could at least relieve your mind about that.

Do you have friends in your area that you can at least socialize with occasionally? I have just a few friends, but I really latched on to a dinner with several friends that was set up a couple of weeks ago. I kept thinking about that, not wanting to wait that long. I longed to be sitting around a table with a few people who cared about me. They didn't know what I was going through, so I could pretend for that night that everything was all right. That dinner is week after next.

I mean it when I say that I really feel your pain. Please post here at DU when you need to vent or get some advice or feedback. I have found that some of the posters here, besides being political, are really sharp, caring, astute people who are pretty good at giving advice & sharing experiences and suggesting solutions or paths forward. Yes, we're strangers. But that's okay. We care, nonetheless. I have done that a couple of times and received some of the best advice I've gotten from anyone, and true compassion for the situation. Some really smart people here at DU.

I wish you the best and hope to read how you are doing and how your job search is going. Are you middle aged or older? If you're younger, you have that going for you. I'm older, and I have some interviews, so there is hope.

[annm4peace]

21. very insightful comments

there are so many levels of depression.. so many different reasons we have it.

When I had severe depression only medication helped.. and luckily I had a good psychiatrist and understanding friends.

when I got moved away from the horrible anxiety I was advised to take a medication class.. Not do it on my own via tapes.

It was incredible. it made the negative thoughts float away and detached so I can talk these negative thoughts away.
I had no idea how bad it was till these negative thoughts lifted.

10 years later I am reducing the anti depression meds to where I won't take them.

Through a wonderful Dr I found out about how there are some natural supplements that really help with both mood and side effects of reducing meds.
I thought and had read that I had to get off the anti-depressant before I tried the 5HTP but the Dr said in his 10 years no one ever had Seratonin syndrome.

Here is what the Dr wrote.

I suspect that you may need both 5-HTP (the presursor of serotonin) and L-Tyrosine (the precursor of dopamine and norepinephrine). Both can be purchased at Swanson Health Products and most good nutrition stores. I usually started my patients off with 50 mg of 5-HTP per day and gradually increased the dose to as much as 200 or 300 mg per day in split doses (5-HTP comes in 50 and 100 mg capsules) and started the Tyrosine at 500 mg per day (in the AM, since it raises dopamine, norepinephrine and adrenalin, all stimulants). The 5-HTP usually has a sedating effect in most people, so evening is usually better, although I have had some of my patients say it energized them, in which case it would be better to take in during the day.

I suppose that I mentioned to you that a good quality multivitamin/multimineral, plus a good B-Complex vitamin preparation are important, as is the use of Magnesium (400 mg once or twice a day) for optimal metabolism of the amino acids into their neurotransmitters. And of course, Omega-3 (Fish Oil) 3000 mg per day).

Joseph Glenmullen, MD (author of Prozac Backlash - which I highly recommend your reading) wrote a second book The Antidepressant Solution, in which he outlined useful ways to wean off psych drugs safely. He particularly warned against alternate day tapering for quick-acting drugs like Wellbutrin and Effexor.

Glenmullen doesn't seem to talk about brain nutrient therapy in his book, which might be the reason that he recommended a much longer period of tapering than I did for my nutrient supplemented patients. My firm belief is that the brain nutrient therapy successfully ameliorated the withdrawal effects.

another good book about nutrition and mental health is The Crazy Makers.
****

what works for one person might not work for another but I have told 3 other people of these supplements for depression and they also helped the others.
But of course you should always talk it over with your Dr. or find a Dr who is open to holistic medicine.

[RainDog]

22. interesting post n/t

[ProgressiveATL]

32. Awesome reply

Such great info, thank you.

[timesup]

25. One tip for those with low energy.

See a doctor, it could be allergies, it was for me, I got on nasal spray Flonase clone and I have gotten a ton of energy back.
I hope this stuff goes over the counter! (With insurance, reasonably cheap.)
----------
I am a depression survivor, myself.... didn't die (yet).

[YoungDemCA]

26. The hidden toll of depression is horrible...

I and some other members of my family have suffered from it. I've known many other people who have had it. It unhealthily twists and warps one's perspective.

Mental illness, unfortunately, is little understood by our society. That seems to be changing, albeit very slowly...

[slackmaster]

29. I have a degree in psych and clinical training, but my understanding took a quantum leap recently

Pardon the rambling here. I am in a healing mode.

A woman I've known since we were children took her own life after a bout of major depression. Her family, friends, and I tried desperately to get her to seek help, but she refused and eventually just gave up.

I'm helping her brother sort through her papers. I took home about 10 banker's boxes of stuff that appeared to be of low priority with respect to settling her estate. I'm taking my time going through it, mostly old bills, receipts, statements, junk mail, flyers she picked up here and there, etc. She had a hard time throwing things away, and there are some real gems of information amid the chaff.

The picture I'm getting tells a chilling story of at least 20 years struggling with interpersonal relationships, inability to make and keep commitments, problems with coworkers, impulse control issues, inability to quit smoking, living beyond her means and drowning in debt, deep regrets for decisions made in the past, unresolved grief over the early death of her mother, really a huge mess of a life. I've concluded that she had Borderline Personality Disorder, which may have been diagnosed during an eight-day involuntary stay at a government psychiatric hospital after a thwarted suicide attempt. (I surmise that diagnosis based on my own observation, interviews with family members, and the fact that the psychiatric hospital referred to a clinic that specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy when they released her.)

Among her belongings are numerous handwritten notes describing her feelings. Some of them read like lists of signs of major depression lifted out of an undergraduate psychology text or copied from a Web page on the subject. What I may never understand is this:

Why did she write all those things down on paper and leave them around instead of communicating those problems to a doctor, ANY doctor? She had communicated many of the issues to me and to others. We all begged her to see a doctor or at least call the local crisis hotline, but she refused. She got so annoyed with me asking her to seek help that she once angrily demanded that I never mention it again. I was extra careful to keep weapons and dangerous drugs out of her reach, and I know that she rifled through my medicine cabinet at least twice during visits.

Her family practitioner prescribed Zoloft about 15 years ago along with birth control pills, and referred her to a psychiatrist. She got some free counseling from Jewish Family Services once, but she didn't stick with the Zoloft and never went to the psychiatrist as far as I can tell. (In retrospect I can say with confidence that successful treatment for her would have required years of intensive therapy, drugs or not.)

We survivors of her suicide did everything we could, but we're still feeling some guilt. The experience frankly scared the living shit out of me. I've dealt with many addicts and alcoholics, and a lot of people with mild or moderate psychiatric problems. Real psychosis is a different animal, but the end result is no different than an addiction that goes untreated.

[undeterred]

39. Even with all the psychiatric support in the world people sometimes choose suicide.

I recently found out that a friend I'd lost touch with took her life at age 50.

We were friends for over 10 years, good friends. We met at work and we did a lot of things after work and on the weekends together. I knew that she suffered from depression and saw a psychiatrist, but for as long as we were friends she held a job, dated, and functioned pretty well. The times we had together were good times.

She suffered from clinical depression and remembered being depressed even as a child. She had a great loving family who cared about her and she was beautiful. If anyone saw her they'd wonder what she had to be depressed about- but of course its biological. Well, one day her psychiatrist died or retired or something and she had to get another one.

The next doctor changed her meds. After that things seemed to go bad. She had trouble at work and lost her job. After a year or so she wasn't working and had to go into a psych hospital. I had a long conversation with her and I realized things were bad. Really bad. She said she had been thinking about taking her life. I couldn't believe it. She said she really was tired of life and she didn't think things were ever going to get better. She'd been depressed as long as she could remember, and now things were even worse than they used to be and she couldn't work any more...

Its hard to know what to say... I didn't see her much after that and I moved away. Then I looked her up and found out she'd taken her life. I don't know what I could have said to make her think differently. She had years and years of help. And the truth is, it didn't work for her.

It doesn't always work.

[jwirr]

27. Take care. You could be my beloved little brother talking. He has been fighting this since he was a

senior in high school. He is very isolated from the family because most of us do not know how to talk to him. We are afraid of hurting him more. Right now it is winter in Iowa and he is turning in unto himself and very close to shutting everyone out. Stopped taking his meds and will not go to see the doctors. I am hoping that spring will bring him out of this again until next winter. At least he has a wife who also has a milder form of depression and she understands some of it. But when he pulls as far away as he has this winter even she is distressed. We tried to explain what he does to help himself when this happens but she wants to fix it NOW.

And you are right it takes our of your body and brings on a slow death. He has been overworking and refusing to eat and sleep all too many times for it not to effect his life.

So thank you for your op and please take care. Hopefully you also have a family that cares. If not remember DU is often our family.

[daleanime]

28. So tired of being tired...

it settles into body, into your bones. I don't remember ever not being tired.

[Danascot]

30. Psychedelics including ketamine and mushrooms have shown great promise

in treating major depression. Mostly studies and not part of routine treatment for now but it's worth keeping an eye on.

[Odin2005]

31. Churchill called his Depression "the black dog".

[Blue_Tires]

34. kick

[RebelOne]

36. Was in a state of depression for 6 years.

I had a devastating breakup with a boyfriend who I had been with for 5 years. I went into a state of depression. I even went to therapy. The doctor put me on anti-depression drugs, which only made me feel worse. I had been taking diet pills for years and I think they were what screwed up my head. Took me years to finally realize that.

[Vattel]

37. Some don't respond to meds, but many do.

You have tried meds, so this is directed more to those who haven't. If you have clinical depression, talk to your doctor about trying an ssri. Zoloft did wonders for me. And once i was well enough to exercise, I could use that and wean myself off the zoloft.

[easttexaslefty]

38. Spot fucking on.

This IS depression.

[fujiyama]

40. Good post and I know what chronic depression is like

On the face of it if someone met me they would wonder "why would you be depressed?"

After all, I have a well paying job, savings, friends (including several close ones), family - I have people that care in my life. And often times I think it's the only thing keeping me going. Everyday I'm grateful I have family and friends. But much of the time, it feel like it's not enough.

I fell into this about 6 years ago. I think it was bound to happen and it was just heading there. But eventually there was a trigger, and I haven't been able to get out of "this funk" since and I seriously wonder if I ever will. I seriously doubt it. It's excruciating. It's frustrating because I have an outgoing personality but I'll be in a group of people and I'll feel like I'm wearing a mask - while I'm smiling, I know in reality on the inside I'm hurting.

I have some real issues that I know would make the chance of an intimate/physical relationship very difficult and it's devastating. This inability thus far in my life is the root cause. And as I've got older, it gets worse. There is this constant and perpetual fear that I will always be alone. And even when I get somewhat motivated to do things - whether it's to start working out, or hit the dating scene, I figure what's the point?

[Ichingcarpenter]

42. Watch Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive

Stephen Fry presents this documentary exploring the disease of manic depression; a little understood but potentially devastating condition affecting an estimated two percent of the population.

Stephen embarks on an emotional journey to meet fellow sufferers, and discuss the literal highs and lows of being bi-polar.
Celebrities such as Carrie Fisher and Richard Dreyfuss invite the comedian into their home to relate their stories.

Plus Stephen looks into the lives of ordinary people trying to deal with the illness at work and home, and of course to the people studying manic depression in an effort to better control it. A fascinating, moving and ultimately very entertaining Emmy Award-winning programme.

&list=PLA803FA2DE69235E4&feature=player_embedded


A remarkable documentary by a remarkable person., 10 November 2006

Author:from Bristol, England

In dispelling myths and opening up a dark illness to public light, Stephen Fry has shown the way forward in raising awareness for BiPolar. Mental issues and illness hasn't come all that far from the Victorian, out of sight - out of mind, asylums of the past. But with candidness and honesty we are taken on a personal journey, that was well researched to give a insight to the traumatic and chaotic lives of sufferers.

The stigma surrounding mental illness is a heavy burden for those affected and their families yet we see Stephen Fry not giving a damn about others perceptions of his illness. A truly ground breaking and thought provoking documentary. A must see for anyone connected with manic depression or those looking to understand what is at times incomprehensible.

8.2 stars on IMBD



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0808482/


I watched this with my adult daughter whose best friend is manic depressive, it was an eye opener on the problems and gave me new insight and compassion for the illness . I suggest everyone watch
this award winning documentary, you won't be disappointed.

ITS STEPHEN FRY..

Writer, actor, comedian, doer of good works, excellent good friend to the famous and not, Fry lives in his London SW1 flat and his Norfolk house when not traveling. Famous for his public declaration of celibacy in the "Tatler" back in the 1980s, Emma Thompson has characterised her friend as "90 percent gay... See full bio »

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000410/

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjE1NDQwMjYxOF5BMl5BanBnXkFyZXN1bWU@._V1._SX200_SY251_.jpg

[mdmc]

43. ..