Santorum to announce VP pick
(Fox News) Pennsylvania – In a bold move to increase his support among key segments of the Republican base before “Super Tuesday,” former Senator Rick Santorum is scheduled to announce his choice for vice president at a campaign rally this afternoon.
Fox News has confirmed that Santorum will name the late Terri Schiavo as his running-mate to challenge the democrat ticket of Barack Hussein Obama and Joey Biden in November. Key insiders in the Santorum campaign said that Santorum wants to make a powerful appeal to two key groups in the Republican Party: women, and the brain-dead.
“It came down to two great choices,” Santorum advisor Albert Russell told Fox News. “Rick made the final choice, which was between Karen Santorum and Terri Schiavo. Both represent the best in the modern republican woman. But the choice of Schiavo has an added appeal to the brain-dead republicans that Rick likes to call 'the silent majority'.”
When informed of this bold move, Governor Mitt Romney told Fox News that he is considering buying the hospital Schiavo resides in. Upon being informed that Terri Schiavo remains dead, Romney said that he will investigate the possibility of buying the cemetery, and baptising its residents into the Mormon faith.
Congressman Ron Paul told reporters that he will analyze how Santorum's choice impacts the rights of the dead. “This is surely a Constitutional issue,” Rep. Paul said.
Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is said to be considering Jayne Mansfield as his VP choice. Gingrich campaign aides said that Newt will be “unavailable for further comment today, as he is reviewing photographs of Mansfield for campaign purposes.”
In related news, Rick Santorum is set to release plans to reinstate the Shah of Iran shortly after he is sworn into office in January, 2013.
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I had to check twice that you wrote this and did not repost it... 
It's good to enjoy the breadth of your style.
You know, your idea would probably appeal to Rick Santorum. If he could only get the fetus vote in addition to the brain dead, he'd cruise to the White House.
