I've spent the past 2 days trying to convince my 16 y/o she is not a "slut"

[kpete]

SUN MAR 04, 2012 AT 06:30 AM PST
I've spent the past 2 days trying to convince my 16 y/o she is not a "slut"
bybeantown momFollow

..............

................. We sat down on the couch and she just cried for what seemed like forever. I held her and cried with her and said more things that I just can't remember now! Finally I got her calmed down enough to tell me the story from the beginning. The note was in her locker when she opened it before her first class. She was so upset that she went to her teacher in first period and asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. She said for first and second period she tried not to be too upset- she cried a little bit but was just trying to figure out who would leave such a piece of trash in her locker. By third period, she had shown the note to a couple of her friends and they were so helpful, trying to play detective and at the same time telling her she should just ignore the stupid people! She managed to get through a math quiz and Spanish test and headed off to lunch in a pretty solid frame of mind. And that's when it really fell apart; apparently, the girls from the day before were the authors of the note. They lined up behind my daughter to get their lunch tray and started in on her. "Birth control whore", "I told my mom you were on the pill and she said you were nothing but a little tramp" "My mom said some guy she listens to on the radio was just talking about girls like you- he even said you were a slut!" "Yeah, my mom said the same thing, said it's about time people spoke up and weren't afraid to tell the truth"! They laughed, they harassed, they said so many things my daughter couldn't begin to remember it all- she walked back to her table without food and told her friends what was going on. She cried through lunch and through the rest of the day. She said she almost went to the office to call me to come get her but she was trying to be strong and not let them win! The last class of the day, however, was the final straw- it's her history class and 2 of these little monsters are in the class with her. They start the class off by talking about current events. One of the little witches brought up Rush Limbaugh and the (male) teacher said that he was an American Icon- sometimes he says things that can be construed as insensitive but overall, he was one of the few people left in today's media who was not afraid to speak the truth! The girls began to laugh and the conversation apparently changed. I don't think the teacher had any clue as to what was going on. My daughter said the rest of the class was just a blur- when the bell rang, she ran to her locker and down to the bathroom.

I asked my daughter how these girls found out about her being on birth control. It had to have come from someone on the trip, but we have no idea who. It doesn't matter, really, I just would like to know. My daughter looked at me so innocent, so very sad and asked me "Am I a slut because I take a prescription birth control pill? I don't take it because I am having sex, I take it to help my periods- am I a bad person, Mom?"

AM I A BAD PERSON? My 16 year old daughter asked me if she was a bad person because she is on the pill! Who are we? What century do we live in? Who in the hell has the right to say these things? Who does Rush Limbaugh think he is? Why is he allowed to say these things and hurt people? Why have I spent the last 2 days trying to convince my 16 year old that she is not a slut?

On Monday, I am going to my child's high school and meeting with her counselor and principal. I don't yet know what I am going to say but I know this- nothing is going to take away the pain my daughter felt, the humiliation she felt, the indignation she felt. Nothing will make this all O.K., nothing will take us back to before this all happened. As a parent, you want to protect your child from hurt and pain. I didn't protect my child from this- I can only try to make sure that she suffers no more at the hands of these little witches. Or ignorant assholes like Rush Limbaugh.

the rest:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/04/1070800/-I-ve-spent-the-past-2-days-trying-to-convince-my-16-y-o-she-is-not-a-slut-?via=siderec

[Angry Dragon]

1. kick

[earthside]

2. Many teenage girls ...

... take birth control pills to alleviate severe acne.

The level of ignorance and hate that Limbaugh has engendered this time with his reckless language is beyond the pale.

Furthermore, it is so depressing that there are people out there who will defend him who don't even know what they are talking about ... it's just a kind of political tribalism run amuck.

Frankly, I don't think this Limbaugh/contraception debate is just a minor, radio personality controversy -- there are some real fundamental American principles and values under siege here. If Limbaugh somehow gets away with this, then I predict that the viciousness and hate from the right-wing, Tea Party faction will escalate into even more serious actions and behaviors.

[msongs]

3. so what "religion" do all these little perps belong to? nt

[kag]

4. You made me cry.

I have a 13-year old. She would have stuck up for your daughter if she had been there. Hell, my 15-year-old son would have too. My greatest anger goes to the teacher who is telling these kids that Limbaugh is a reasonable person to listen to.

I would have some choice words for the admins at that school. And my daughter would have a few mental-health days coming at the movies with me, eating popcorn and forgetting about ugly people.

I just don't understand why people must teach their children to be such loathsome, insecure, petty people.

Hugs to you and your daughter. She is a VERY brave person for trying to handle it on her own. I only wish she hadn't needed to.

[HockeyMom]

5. I know how she feels

I took BC pills at 12. I would never have been able to go to school at all without it. I literally could not stand up it was so bad. Better to be hospitalized for a D&C and blood transfusions? That's what I was facing.

I started getting my period at 10 years old in 4th grade. I cannot tell you how humiliating that was. Yes, I was treated like a kind of freak. There had to be a REASON for that. Yes, the SLUT reason. Nevermind, that my Mom and Grandma were very young too, and it was just plain genetics.

Everyone has to be the same. You have MARCH to the tune of THEIR RULES. Why do you think there is so much bullying in schools? It is because we are all not clones of one another and the kids who are "different" are attacked. This contraception crap going on this country is nothing more than BULLYING on a grand scale. Be just like US!!! Follow OUR RELIGION.

However, when we all stand together, we can shut them down. Tell you daugther I stand with her.

[ProfessionalLeftist]

24. BULLYING is what all this is - not "opinions", as ClearChannel would have us believe. n/t

[alp227]

27. yeah, sometimes i wish the US had hate speech laws like in Europe,

because this is what happens when Limbaugh is allowed to be aired unchecked on 1000+ radio stations 'round the nation and when the laws have been so loosened the radio stations chase profit before the public interest.

And of course there's another RW blowhard willing to DEFEND bullying:

[ProfessionalLeftist]

29. Well his last name is fitting

I once dated someone who listened to that ass. Once. And that was all. Really we all need to harass the advertisers and local stations in all our towns who carry these jerks - until they stop.

[alp227]

35. Oh I forgot: the UK banned Savage from entering the country

as his show is one huge violation of UK hate speech law. He doesn't have an affiliate in San Francisco anymore, so KSTE Sacramento serves as the Bay Area Savage station.

[The Backlash Cometh]

6. This really drives the point home.

Limbaugh's destabilizing campaign is working. I hope the barrage of criticism against him continues.

[Tennessee Gal]

7. This story is horrific.

I just read the entire article and am quite dismayed.

It is solid evidence of what can happen in real life to innocents subjected to bullying due to the rants of ignorant assholes like Limbaugh and the just as complicit mothers of those girls who did the bullying.

When I have the time I plan to read all the comments and suggestions made below the article.

Thank you for posting it, kpete.

[dickthegrouch]

8. That's a school with a serious bullying problem

The 16 year-old needs to tell the bullies that they will be hypocrites if they use novocain next time they have their teeth cleaned. They will be interrupting another god-given function of the body - pain!

[mzteris]

9. hugs . . .

My daughter had terrible periods in highschool. When she went on the pill they were 1000% better. She stopped taking them, though, because other people were whispering around that she was "having sex" - which she wasn't. She'd told one "friend" about it and they told someone else who told someone else - all promising to "keep the secret" - which of course, they didn't.

I don't know if they called her a "slut" per se (I'll have to call and ask her) - but that was the implication. So she suffered for several more years - even after she went to college.

When I found her passed out on the bathroom floor one night (she was home for Christmas) because of the pain, I insisted she go back on the pill. She'd miss nearly a week of classes every month due to her debilitating periods.

I say your daughter should speak up loud and clear and WHY she's taking this MEDICATION. It is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Those other girls should be ashamed of themselves for their bullying behaviour. Report them all to the school. This should not be tolerated. (Oh - and get her transferred out of the "history" class. If that teacher thinks Limbaugh is an icon, then he's probably not teaching true American history!)

They've just recently put her back on the pill. She was trying to get pregnant (she's married now - not that it matters), but her periods - at 31 - are still just as debilitating. She's pretty heartbroken over the whole thing. They're considering in vitro at this point.

Tell your daughter to be strong and proud. She is NOT a bad person. Those mean girls are, though.

[nashville_brook]

12. strongly agree -- get this girl out of that history class.

strongly agree with everything you say...but especially, get that girl out of the class.

[Incitatus]

10. And Republicans take offense to the term hate radio. nt

[Tennessee Gal]

14. Click on the link and read the entire piece.

I don't think you are getting the point.

[seabeyond]

31. to samfarkus, who cant be posted on. us women just get used to being called a slut?

and other names, then we dont have to care so much about it? is that really what is being suggested that we women just get conditioned and fine with the misogynist bullshit?

i think that is one of the reasons limbaugh thought he could get away with this behavior. we have all gotten just "fine" with it.

[Saokymo]

15. I think you missed the entire point

This isn't about a relationship the young girl is in. It's about her being bullied by a bunch of other girls calling her a slut and a whore because she's on birth control (for purely medical reasons, no less). Go back and read the whole article before issuing relationship advice, please.

[immoderate]

21. Whose deeper problem?

Consider the terms denial, displacement, and projection.

Jus' sayin'.

--imm

[shcrane71]

13. A Limbaugh fan, and FB friend reiterated Rush's diatribe against women on my page.

This person is a pastor's wife, and a school teacher.

Americans have given Rush his microphone on our public airwaves. He's abused his privileges by spewing filth, and indecency. He's solicited pornography over our airwaves. Howard Stern had to move to XM radio in order to say things that are outside the bounds of common decency, Rush should have to do the same.

[Quantess]

16. Howard Stern is nowhere near as offensive as Rush Limbaugh, either!!!

I'm not a fan of Howard Stern, but at least he's funny sometimes, and nowhere near as hateful as Rush.

I agree, Rush Limbaugh is completely outside the bounds of decency for public airwaves.

[shcrane71]

18. So true, and Stern wasn't in as many markets as Rush is in. In MANY of the markets that carry

the Limbaugh show, there really is little or no competition. Certainly, there's not competition from talk radio. It's either country music, religious programming, and right-wing hate radio. And we wonder why whole populations subjected to that kind of propaganda for 20+ years has been consistently voting for right-wing extremist.

[Tennessee Gal]

17. There are very interesting posts in the comments section.

Several suggest that there are legal matters involved regarding HIPAA and FERPA (Federal Educational Rights & Privacy Act). Others suggest that the school district may have rules and regulations regarding the dispensing of medications in private when on school trips, which was not done in this instance.

A part of one of the best comments is this:

You must protect your daughter AND the next young lady that these bullies decide to attack.

This will not end here. If nothing is done, it will only empower them more.

Please please please contact an attorney before you do anything else.

There were several issues here:
- a medical doctor dispensing medication in front of a group and ignoring medical privacy.
- the teacher voices an opinion on Rush Limbaugh and not being neutral to invoke thought and civil discussion. (The teacher empowered the bullies also)
- the school administration not controlling bullies. Is there a no-tolerance rule toward bullying at this school? Read the manual.
- the bullies themselves. Suspension seems appropriate.

and this:

My whole argument against Rush Limbaugh's vile and evil rhetoric has been "what if this had been one of my girls?" Well, beantown mom, your daughter is one of my girls just as Ms. Fluke is. And it's up to us to protect them.

[Tennessee Gal]

19. I highly recommend Maureen Dowd's column on this issue.

In it she asks regarding Mitt's foolish statement about the "language" used by Limbaugh:

"Is there a right way to call a woman a slut?"

Dowd's column is here: Have You No Shame, Rush?

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/opinion/sunday/dowd-have-you-no-shame-rush.html?_r=1&hp

[LiberalEsto]

20. I'd bet my bottom dollar

that the kids making fun of this girl are jealous and would love to be taking the Pill themselves.

[Tennessee Gal]

22. They probably are taking the pill and actively having sex.

I would not doubt it one bit.

That could be why they are attacking her so viciously. It could be a cover-up for their own activities.

[donheld]

23. Stop bullying = Stop Rush.

[ProfessionalLeftist]

25. My niece was on BC at 13 for the same reasons

It was that or she couldn't go to school because they completely debilitated her when she had them, and they were initially very irregular and unpredictable. She was also not a "SLUT". In fact her mother, my sister, is very religious and she was raised in a very strict, conservative manner. She didn't take them to have sex. She took them to simply function!

EDIT: you might consider taking your girl out of that school and/or threatening to take the matter public (ie: to the media). Or, to President Obama.

[lapislzi]

33. Here's the thing:

Nobody should have to justify their use of hormonal medications to anybody for any reason.

It is nobody's goddamned business how much sex I am having, or with whom. Or whether I am having any at all.

How dare Limbaugh or any man attempt to pass judgment on me for my sexual habits.

You got that?

[JNathanK]

28. I wish she could just kick their asses and tell them to fuck off.

However, there's a lot of laws in place now that makes roughing someone up much more of a legal liability than it used to be. There may be some positives to it, but the downside is that mouthy little weasels can spout all the vitriol they want and not worry about any type of physical retaliation for their incessant, verbal abuse and disrespect. Petty assholes, of all ages, need a lesson in humility.

This is exactly why kids turn into anti-social delinquents, because of insecure little snot nosed brats like that. The establishment doesn't seem to get it though.

I'm not one to be physically aggressive, but I sometimes wonder if some people need a good ass kicking sometimes.

[malthaussen]

30. I don't know whom to be angrier with...

Last edited Mon Mar 5, 2012, 04:26 PM - Edit history (1)

...the adult who painted the target on this young lady's back by irresponsibly dispensing medication, or the children who immediately began shooting at it. Well, probably the latter -- assuming that the actions of the adult were not driven by malice.

I'd say more, but my BP is spiking into quadrupal digits. I'm having to supress the desire to travel to this school and start breaking heads.

-- Mal

[librechik]

32. Unintended consequences are Rush's meat and potatoes.

what a monster.

[malthaussen]

34. One thing I noticed...

... as have a couple of respondants to the diary entry: there seems to be an (unintended?) subtext that the young lady is not a "slut" because she is using the pills to treat her menstrual condition, and not because she is having sex. Is the implication that if she were sexually active, it would be okay to bully her and assassinate her character? Probably not, but it makes me somewhat uneasy.

-- Mal