The problem with masculinity in our culture is

[Chiquitita]

So clearly depicted here it's scary. Anyone else seen this documentary -- "The Bro Code"?

(Warning: video contains graphic images of violence against women)

[RKP5637]

2. This is excellent, haven't had a chance to watch it all, but will ... what I have

seen so far is excellent and right on target. There used to be a gap between fantasy entertainment and reality, but that gap has closed and in essence people are being programmed to be violent ... against women. In general, much of the programming of people today is creating a hate filled society. It's quite sad and IMO passes under the radar for many people. This film should be aired in prime time.

[seabeyond]

4. have the boys watch this and the girls watch miss representative. then the next week switch it

around. i think all middle schools should have it.

[Chiquitita]

6. Good idea.

Do you know if Miss Representation is back on line? For awhile it was on YouTube.
I watched both with my sons-- will teach them but not at the Middle School level. Did you teach it?

[seabeyond]

7. all the conditioning both sides and how it contaminates us al to not be our real self. there is a

thread in HOF now about a poster that saw miss rep on netflex, i believe. just yesterday. so it is streaming.

good for you

and it is education

it is not taking the masculinity away from our boys, having them watch this stuff. iti s giving them the opportunity to not be conditioned, and figure out masculinity on their own. i have found my boys are much better at determining masculinity than society and media.

[Xipe Totec]

3. I clicked on this thread reluctantly, and with a sense of defensive skepticism.

I leave feeling educated and enlightened.

I've forwarded the thread to my spouse and to my step-daughter.

Thank you.

[seabeyond]

5. i have only seen a short clip. look forward to seeing it all, later. thanks. nt

[boston bean]

8. I watched the entire video this morning.

Thanks for posting... It was very interesting and spoke a lot of truths.

[ReRe]

9. Thanks for posting...

... Took time and watched it all way through. Quite a chronicle of aberrant sexual behavior that is present in this sick society. Probably exists the world over. But psychologically, it only brushes the surface of the problem. The "problem" started much earlier in all these young men and women's lives. Sexual prowess a man does not make, and submissiveness a woman does not make.

[Chiquitita]

10. I'd like to know where this starts

I know it is worse in other places and cultures, but what is it about American childhood that brings this about?

[seabeyond]

11. from the time my boys were babies, there were men that would call them men. i would tell them, no...

they are boys. hubby would be out of town and one of my boys would be told, .... you are now the man of the house, while your father is away.

wtf??? a 7 yr old is not a man and certainly not of the house.

all the time, i was having men refer to my boys as men.

when was the last time you heard a girl, a little girl, even a grown woman referred to as a woman.

i have never heard a little girl told, you are such a woman.

and THAT, is just one of the very small conditionings we start at such a young age.

[ReRe]

12. Deep deep subject...

...but everyone should take the initiative independently to study up on this issue. The place to start might be to search the stacks at the local library for books on aberrant psychology specifically. Women's History is another place to search, going back through time. I will name a few reasons why both girls and boys grow up with twisted minds where masculinity and femininity are concerned. (I am not a psychologist!) It mostly goes back to their childhood and the environment/locality/culture they were raised in.

Right off the bat, they (boys and girls) both get a big dose of craziness if they are raised in a fundamentalist church community. There, they learn that men rule and women and children keep their mouths shut (they submit.) And the fathers rule with impunity. Need I say more about that situation?

Sometimes, that very situation bares out even if religion doesn't figure into the equation at all. It is a culture that has come down thru time, passed on generation after generation. It's a general cycle of abuse, both physical and mental. Could be the father and/or mother.

Enter the consumer age. Much is driven by Madison Avenue advertisement.

Anyway, I will stop there. Hope that helps...

[RobertEarl]

18. War

Men are mentally raised to go to war. We stop that and our whole culture will change.

I was raised to be a soldier, but rejected that notion a long time ago. Became a lover instead. Oh, I can fight, just choose not to draw any blood or cause any physical injury.

Most men never turn that corner in consciousness. Because the prevailing societal attitude is: Make War.

Men have to somewhat reject this society. As Jesus said: Man must turn against Ma and Pa in order to advance. Ma and Pa being society.

[ReRe]

19. Like I said...

... it's a deep subject. Yes, a society that is on a constant WAR footing surely doesn't help.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

13. Masculinity gets a bad rap

Violent guys, macho egos, yeah...those can be problems. There is nothing innately wrong with masculinity any more than there's a problem with femininity.

[Chiquitita]

14. Yo Pretzel

Masculinity and femininity aren't actual things we can study empirically (such as being a biological male or female). They are mental concepts that we shape and construct. These ideals, notions, or definitions of "masculinity" or "femininity" can be healthy or unhealthy. The documentary shows that there is an unhealthy definition of masculinity that is hurting both women and men a lot. One of the things in the doc that was disturbing to me personally was a type of porn in which women get the f*** and flush treatment -- truly, it shows a kind of porn where the grande finale is flushing a female's head in the toilet. Does something similar exist on the internet where women humiliate men to the degree of comparing their heads to s***? And then call that macho, or, I don't know "femme-cho"? It's possible that that many male people get off on that because there is a large market -- why is that?. Is it because men are taught they ought to feel superior to women in order to be masculine?

Of course there is nothing inherently wrong with having a y chromosome, or two xx's. I love my husband and my two teenage sons, my father, brothers, neighbors etc. And I would never want to hurt men in my life. The documentary is by men, for men. So, no men should feel defensive about it.

[seabeyond]

15. listening to jensen talk about the porn,

another favorite to watch is stickin in the butt then the mouth so woman is literally eating shit....

ya, see, this stuff pisses me off to no end. no reason but humiliation. and why must men have humiliation to get off.

i better not watch that video.

[chervilant]

16. This film is essential viewing.

I would encourage those who want to understand how our socio-cultural reinforcement of 'masculine' and 'feminine' roles damages all of us to read Dorothy Dinnerstein's "The Mermaid and the Minotaur." For insight into how these roles (and our poisonous pedagogy) are entrenched, read anything by Alice Miller.

Thank you for posting this. I am sad that it has gotten so few views and comments, yet another clue that the Bro Code is more pervasive than it should be?

[bettyellen]

17. bookmarked, with thanks!