Daily Currant: Goldman Sachs Price Gouging Typhoon Survivors

[MannyGoldstein]

Goldman Sachs Price Gouging Typhoon Survivors
Selling $20 Bottles of Water in Philippines

Goldman Sachs is coming under fierce criticism today for attempting to profit from Typhoon Haiyan though price gouging.

According to local reports, a company controlled by the notorious Wall Street investment bank is taking advantage of the storm's chaotic aftermath to charge huge markups on basic supplies - even selling one-liter bottles of water for 875 pesos (US$20) to thirsty survivors.

...

"Vampire Squid Concepts is one of our best performing business segments," says Goldman's CEO Lloyd Blankfien, "We don't give up profitable businesses just because some clown justice minister in a skirt opens her mouth.

"Goldman Sachs isn't a charity, it's a business. And this typhoon situation is the best business opportunity I've seen in years. If these people didn't want to be overcharged for water, maybe they should have stored some for emergencies.

Satire... but damned well done.

[Nye Bevan]

1. The Daily Currant is such a pale imitation of the Onion.

Lame, lame, lame.