DIY Death: at home funerals

[xmas74]

http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/11/diy-death-natural-home-funerals?utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprfacebook&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook

I've thought about becoming a death midwife ever since I read an article about it nearly 20 years ago. I really considered it after reading Jessica Mitford's book but never knew how to go about it. Now, once again, I'm considering it.

[RKP5637]

1. When a very dear friend and mother of my friend died at a very old age, we did not

have a funeral, and this is how she wanted as do we.

We had a very simple cremation plan with a very reputable crematory. Immediately after her death in the hospital she was sent to a crematory. We arrived not long later.

She was placed in an open cardboard box they use and she was rolled to a viewing window for us to pay our last respects, then she was wheeled to the crematory machine, rolled in, and we returned a few hours later for her ashes.

It was very pleasant and private. She saw no need for an expensive funeral and thought something like this was most fitting. It cost $1,000 total. It was a pleasant experience for us all.

[xmas74]

2. We've become so afraid, so out of touch with death

and we are taken advantage of in this day and age. It's wrong and options should be placed back in the families' hands.

[RKP5637]

6. Definitly! Part of my family is from Maine, way way way back. They used to have funerals

at home, casket or whatever in the living room, and then burial. They all dealt with it as a family affair without all of the hoop and expense of what they try to push on people today. And the cost of some of the caskets is outrageous, especially for cremation ... and some have been accused of removing bodies from the expensive casket and the reselling it to the next sucker.

[xmas74]

9. Not only expensive, but cold and impersonal.

There is no real time to address true grieving during the process. It's all so cold and out of touch that it often doesn't even dawn on the mourners what is happening until days, sometimes weeks later.

[LiberalEsto]

13. That sounds like what I'd want, plus a UU memorial service at some point later

Thanks for posting.

[PumpkinAle]

3. I love the analogy of being a midwife

and I really like the idea of this movement - go for it.

[xmas74]

10. I've wanted it for years but never knew how.

Now I know how but the question: is the market there?

It might be something that you would address with local doctors, hospice and even local churches. I live in a conservative area so I'm not sure if it would go over but I am an hour from a metropolitan area, where it might be a bit more acceptable.

[PumpkinAle]

16. Something tells me you already know you

just have to take those first steps.

Good luck - we need people like you.

[xmas74]

17. I think I'd like to look into attending a few Death Cafe meetings first.

The nearest meeting is about two hours from me but it's still very interesting. Possibly holding Death Cafe meetings in my area would show whether or not there is an interest in the movement in my area.

[PumpkinAle]

18. Great idea.

May be these links can help....

www.funeralhelper.org/how-to-diy-a-funeral/diy-funeral-arranger.htm

www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=diy-funerals

Wish I was nearer - opposite side of the country, but I will cheer you and help in whatever way I can.

[xmas74]

19. Thank you.

There is a group in St. Joe, which is a couple of hours from here. I'm close enough to KC and to the central part of the state that I think I could get some interest in a local group.

[hollysmom]

4. is it wrong to want to be made into a diamond so that

people in my family would actually want me after I die?

[RKP5637]

7. They do, don't they. That, would certainly give a twist to mom's ring. n/t

[xmas74]

11. Why not?

Make it what you want and not what society says it should be.

[msanthrope]

14. I'm being LifeGemmed. nt

[tina tron]

5. I like this idea

Is there a single friggin thing in our society that can not be turned into a commidity? Sick. Of. It.

[RKP5637]

8. Same here, I am so fed up with consumerism in this country. It really, is sick. And all

they talk about in the US is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Damn, I'm fed up with it all.

[xmas74]

12. It's an interesting idea

and something that has fascinated me for years. Death doesn't scare me all that much and I once thought of becoming a funeral director. This feels like it has more dignity.

[IrishAyes]

15. Sounds like a good idea as long as they let me be cremated. I used to love working hospice.