A lawyer requested a recess to attend a bris if a grandson was born. The judge had one caveat:
In November of 2010, upon realising that the forthcoming birth of his grandchild would probably occur midway through the mortgage-fraud trial on which he was working, Manhattan defence attorney Bennett Epstein wrote the following letter to the judge presiding over the case, Kimba Wood. The reason? To apply for a recess mid-trial so that, should said newborn be a boy, Epstein would be able to attend his grandson's circumcision ceremony (known as the bris.)
Judge Wood agreed to his request, but on one condition. Her handwritten response can be seen at the foot of the letter.
Transcript follows. For those wondering, a boy was born.
In November of 2010, upon realising that the forthcoming birth of his grandchild would probably occur midway through the mortgage-fraud trial on which he was working, Manhattan defence attorney Bennett Epstein wrote the following letter to the judge presiding over the case, Kimba Wood. The reason? To apply for a recess mid-trial so that, should said newborn be a boy, Epstein would be able to attend his grandson's circumcision ceremony (known as the bris.)
Judge Wood agreed to his request, but on one condition. Her handwritten response can be seen at the foot of the letter.
Transcript follows. For those wondering, a boy was born.
<snip>
Dear Judge Wood:
I represent Mark Barnett in the above matter, which is scheduled for trial beginning November 29th.
Please consider this letter as an application in limine for a brief recess in the middle of the trial on the grounds known (perhaps not now, but hereafter) as a "writ of possible simcha¹".
The facts are as follows: My beautiful daughter, Eva, married and with a doctorate no less, and her husband, Ira Greenberg (we like him, too) live in Philadelphia and are expecting their first child on December 3rd, tfu tfu tfu². They do not know whether it will be a boy or a girl, although from the oval shape of Eva's tummy, many of the friends and family are betting male (which I think is a mere bubbameiseh³ but secretly hope is true).
Should the child be a girl, not much will happen in the way of public celebration. Some may even be disappointed, but will do their best to conceal this by saying, "as long as it's a healthy baby". My wife will run to Philly immediately, but I will probably be able wait until the next weekend. There will be happiness, though muted, and this application will be mooted as well.
However, should the baby be a boy, then hoo hah!⁴ Hordes of friends and family will arrive from around the globe and descend on Philadelphia for the joyous celebration mandated by the halacha⁵ to take place during daylight hours on the eighth day, known as the bris⁶. The eighth day after December 3rd could be right in the middle of the trial. My presence at the bris is not strictly commanded, although my absence will never be forgotten by those that matter.
So please consider this an application for maybe, tfu tfu tfu, a day off during the trial, if the foregoing occurs on a weekday. I will let the Court (and the rest of the world) know as soon as I do, and promise to bring pictures.
Very truly yours,
(Signed)
Bennett M. Epstein
<snip>
Judge Wood's handwritten response:
Mr. Epstein will be permitted to attend the bris, in the joyous event that a son is born. But the Court would like to balance the scales. If a daughter is born, there will be a public celebration in Court, with readings from poetry celebrating girls and women.
11-18-10
SO ORDERED, N.Y., N.Y.
(Signed)
KIMBA M. WOOD
U.S.D.J.
http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/03/court-would-like-to-balance-scales.html
Ha!
= new reply since forum marked as read
I vote for more girls.
Maybe because I was once a boy and no full well what parents have to deal with. :>
))
Now on Medicare, I STILL am a problem...
I wouldn't say beautiful
I think the lawyer would have requested a change.
It apparently was taken in the good spirit in which it was intended.
You said what I wanted to, so now I don't have to. I wish I could rec replies.
It takes a special kind of asshole to admit that he will be disappointed if the child of his child is born without the "appropriate" plumbing.
Perhaps if these idiots would treat the women in their communities with the respect they deserve, they wouldn't be so disappointed by half of all births.
But if it's a girl..
PARTY TIME! 
! !
Last edited Tue Dec 3, 2013, 04:27 PM - Edit history (1)
-- it was written, and responded to, with a lighthearted tongue-in-cheek undercurrent from both parties.
rocktivity
