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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA Woman's PERFECT Response to Her Anti-Gay Neighbors
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Well here's a heartwarming day-after-Christmas story.
Dr. Mary Pham, a resident of Irvine, California, decided last April to show her support for the LGBT community by raising a rainbow flag. Not a big deal--just a small, but strong, message that she stands on the side of love and equality. But it was a big deal to her anti-gay neighbors who had no problem hanging American or seasonal flags but did not think the neighborhood had any place for an affirmation of LGBT acceptance.
From an OC Weekly article on the controversy:
Pham's not a complete stranger to the spotlight. A Vietnamese American chiropractic doctor who came to the United States following the fall of Saigon, Pham has three (mostly) adult children and used to host a daytime talk-radio program on KUCI-FM 88.9 that attempted to shatter stereotypes about living behind the Orange Curtain. In a June 2012 edition of her show, Pham said that, though she often does not speak highly of Irvine, it was ultimately "a pretty good place to live."
She first flew the flag following a ceremony with friends in June. "It took me a long time to find my flag to hang, so when I did, [my friend] Ramon and I decided that we should do a fun ceremonial event," she says. "Most of my friends here in Orange County rent rooms, so they do not have the luxury of hanging anything. . . . We all decided that [my flag] was pride for all of usthat's why it was a big event. We invited all of our friends of all colors to come to share."
The flag prominently hung from one of the tallest structures in Orangetree. It immediately drew attention, with initial complaints first directed to the neighborhood's property-management company, PowerStone Property Management.
And her friend did warn her:
Not in Irvine, Mary.
Her friend accurately predicted the neighborhood response. In July, Pham was told that many e-mail complaints had been sent to her Home Owners Association. One such e-mail referred to the flag as the "Fag Flag." Lovely. This particular peach of an individual went on to say:
Is the GAY PRIDE [in large font and rainbow colors] display protected by free speech rights? The Orange Tree Patio Homes neighbors are shaking their heads in disgust. Sexuality is private, and Kurt's display is very, very public. It's even visible from the tennis courts.
From the tennis courts, even!
Another e-mail lamented:
[The residents]...have had their 'gay pride' flag up for six to eight weeks. The flag has two wedding rings interlocked and many rainbow-colored stripes. It is an eyesore. In my opinion, it is okay to feel strongely [sic] about a cause. But to leave their 'political statement' up for this long is ridiculous, and I am offended. Most people do not choose the gay lifestyle, and personally, it irritates me to have to be reminded every day of two men having sex with each other. It's not a fun thing to look at as I come and go every day. If someone left their sign up regarding an election for more than a week or two, it would get very old and be an eyesore.
Community manager Amanda McGinley replied to one of the e-mails:
We have not had any calls yet about the flag on the home...But I did see it on the property inspection and contacted legal counsel to see if the HOA can do anything about it. Civil Code does provide protection for homeowners to put up flags, banners and noncommercial signs, and the Association can do nothing to prohibit it. I have a feeling that this will not last long, but I could be wrong.
Pham continued to fly the flag. But she understandably became more nervous about it. Upon the advice of the executive director of her local LGBT center, Pham filed a police report, just in case. Then, the neighbor reactions became more hostile. A Westboro Baptist Church flyer was printed out and left at her door, and a flyer was left on her windshield that said "GOD HATES FLAGS."
Pham's resolve became all the more hardened:
Before, it was just a flag. Now, Im going to fight back.
And fight back she did this Christmas. After discussing the matter with her son Russell, Pham decided to take her display of support for the LGBT community to the next level. Perhaps that's an understatement.
It was a very gay Christmas in Pham's Irvine neighborhood. And there wasn't a damn thing her bigoted neighbors could do about it.
HappyMe
(20,277 posts)Good for her.
valerief
(53,235 posts)Javaman
(62,510 posts)Good on this woman!
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)Good for Mary Pham.
Randomthought
(835 posts)My in laws live in OC and the uproar over a neighbor not putting her car in the garage was over the top.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)I mean, what's the point.
Javaman
(62,510 posts)there are very few things I hate, but HOA's are one of them.
Moostache
(9,895 posts)The left rear tire is deflated and the car won't start. I have had people leave notes on it, on the front door and even make comments in passing and not a single one of the commenters have a CLUE about why that car is there or what I plan to do with it. They don't even ask, they just behave like petulant children and make their little gestures or hushed tone conversations.
The car is being kept for my daughter, who turns 16 in 3 months and can get a driver's license. It sits in the driveway because if I left it on the street it could be legally towed away as an abandoned vehicle. I don't have the money fully saved to fix the tires, brakes and tie-rods on the car, but I have been saving a little each month to get it fully repaired and ready for my baby girl in a few more months.
Just reading about HOA's makes my blood boil. Our local group of freaking reprobates make me sick and they are soooooooooooo pissed that they cannot make me do anything about the car...even though they have tried. (The fine print of our HOA agreement says that if the car was in obvious disrepair (ie. on cinder blocks) that they could impel me to remove it, but as long as I keep re-inflating the tire when they complain, there is no recourse for them...
quakerboy
(13,918 posts)If you share walls, I can see a limited HOA, for exterior maintenance. It doesn't matter how well you keep up your home if the guy on the other side of the wall doesnt keep his roof up, the leak ends up ruining your kitchen.
But for freestanding buildings, I really do not understand HOAs. It makes no sense.
Le Taz Hot
(22,271 posts)living in a working-class neighborhood -- no flipping homeowners' associations. Imagine being told what color you can paint your house or that you HAVE to have your car in the garage at night. Oy!
ETA: I LOVED her response to her neighbor's bigotry.
UtahLib
(3,179 posts)niyad
(113,232 posts)csziggy
(34,135 posts)If the HOA allows, she should leave her lights up year round.
mountain grammy
(26,614 posts)applies to love speech too. Take that duck people!
toby jo
(1,269 posts)theHandpuppet
(19,964 posts)Shrike47
(6,913 posts)frylock
(34,825 posts)they may need to do some soul searching if that's the first thought that enters their mind upon seeing the flag.
AlbertCat
(17,505 posts).... but heterosexuality isn't? There certainly seems to be more, by sheer volume, media, books, movies, TV shows, etc etc etc about straights getting or trying to get laid than there are about gays, well, doing anything.
marshall
(6,665 posts)The neighbor need to become better educated.
tblue
(16,350 posts)I always knew Orange County was blood-red Reagan Country. Yuck. May as well be rural Mississippi.
Good on Dr. Pham. I just hope no one gets physical.
nomorenomore08
(13,324 posts)as many rural CA counties. Make of that what you will...
SCVDem
(5,103 posts)To the straights it's about sex (and often beastiality).
One side clearly has issues
Spitfire of ATJ
(32,723 posts)Because NOTHING causes more homophobic panic than those tennis court fashions.
Those shorts don't hide even a little woody either.
Moostache
(9,895 posts)friendly_iconoclast
(15,333 posts)proReality
(1,628 posts)"Don't show me any houses with a HOA or I find myself another realtor." I absolutely hate the petty, anal retentive critters who live in them and abide by their stupid rules. And they call it freedom.
Android3.14
(5,402 posts)I haven't seen that before. What is it? A foreign word for peace?
AlbertCat
(17,505 posts)Dona nobis pacem!
(Latin for peace.... "pace"
That or they like one brand of salsa.
OldEurope
(1,273 posts)..."pacem" is the Dative of pax. Pace is Italian for peace.
AlbertCat
(17,505 posts)I stand declensional.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)DeSwiss
(27,137 posts)...for someone's poor outings on the tennis courts. But this is pure BS.
- I keep dropping serve because of the GAYS!!!! Good on ya sweetheart!
K&R
allan01
(1,950 posts)excersizing her right to first amndment free speach. fo orange county
.not in irvine . why the hell not? this is the usa isnt it ?
blkmusclmachine
(16,149 posts)ismnotwasm
(41,975 posts)And a gorgeous statement
Way to go, Dr. Mary Pham! And that is a wonderful photo of the gay pride/peace flag, too.
Bigotry be damned. LOVE = LOVE!
Thanks for posting that, G_j. Bought a big smile to my face!
Bluenorthwest
(45,319 posts)show when I heard it. She is really something.