Poll: What should the minimum legal age to marry be in your opinion?

[Tx4obama]

Below is an excerpt of a comment I saw earlier today while perusing the net...

For all of you throwing a hissy fit that a 16 year old is not mature enough to marry- please remember that the next time a 16 year old is charged as an adult for a crime, is allowed to have an abortion without parental approval, or purchases birth control without parental approval. We hear so much from all sources about how much more sophisticated young people are today-but I guess that is only when it supports your viewpoint. I agree that 16 is not mature-but I wouldn't let them do all the other things the law says they can do. I would never recommend getting married at 16 but lets not ignore history and that for many hundreds of years it was normal and encouraged that people 16- 20 get married to each other.

So, I thought it would be interesting to post a POLL


p.s. Current age minimums by state in the USA, list here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriageable_age#North_America

35 votes, 1 pass | Time left: Unlimited
	Government should not legislate marriage - Love is Love
	1 (3%)
	15 - with parental consent
	2 (6%)
	16 - with parental consent
	6 (17%)
	16 - no parental consent needed
	7 (20%)
	17 - with parental consent
	0 (0%)
	17 - no parental consent needed
	0 (0%)
	18
	14 (40%)
	19
	0 (0%)
	20
	0 (0%)
	21
	5 (14%)
	1 DU member did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[rrneck]

1. The general age of consent for adult stuff in this country is 18.

That's about the best we can do.

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. The federal age of consent is 18, but 16 is the age of consent in a majority (31)

of states.

[rrneck]

30. Wow. I didn't know it was that many.

Sixteen still seems young to me. Of course, at my age anything under thirty is a kid.

[Sgent]

80. Federal age of consent is 16 generally / 12 if within 4 years of each other.

This only applies where state law does not apply (federal lands, etc.).

Just looked up federal law. Federal age of consent is 16 generally, but 12 if the partner is within 4 years. USC 2243(a)

[firsttimer]

2. 30

[Ash_F]

7. +1 /nt

[penultimate]

8. heh

[treestar]

40. Yes!

Divorce court needs fewer cases

[PowerToThePeople]

49. This

[PeaceNikki]

60. This was going to be my answer, too.

[LittleBlue]

3. 16 with no parental consent

My reasoning? In my state 16 is the age of consent for sex. If we're going to assume they're old enough at that age to decide sexual partners, then they're old enough to marry. Especially with no-fault divorces. I do not see any reason to make the marriage age higher than the age of consent with the ease of which divorces may be attained. So basically that would be 16 in my state, probably 17 and 18 in others.

Plus my ancestors were from Scotland where (last I checked a few years ago) it's still 16 without parental consent.

[darkangel218]

5. Sexual partner and marriage arw not the same thing

In my opinion. .

Marriage involves so much more than that, as you know

[LittleBlue]

10. Yeah, sort of

I never looked at marriage as anything mystical or magical. Growing up during an era where all my friends' parents were getting divorces galore, marriage lost its sparkle. The second longest current relationship in my family is an unmarried couple who have lived together for over 30 years.

My marriage was mainly to satisfy our families and her. I would have been just as happy living my life with her without getting married.

It was really important in the days before divorce, where fornication was viewed as a sin and having babies out of wedlock a black mark, but now you can go through spouses like changing socks and none of that other stuff matters much. To me, it's an arrangement to satisfy society and to take advantage of certain laws.

In my opinion, unless you have significant assets then marriage is just a non-married relationship with legal advantages.

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. That is pretty close to my reasoning as well.

[customerserviceguy]

18. You make a good point

But I was 20 when I got married the first time, and I chose poorly. Maybe it should be 40 for men!

[kcr]

20. Marriage is a contract.

It is perfectly reasonable and logical to say that they cannot enter into a legal and binding contract, while at the same time not charging them for a crime for having sex.

[LittleBlue]

26. A contract for what, though?

You can break that contract 20 times and still get married a 21st. A contract is really only enforceable if it can't be broken, which is why I stopped thinking of marriage as a contract and rather an arrangement with legal perks. It used to be a contract in Victorian times when you really could only marry once and only get divorced under particular conditions (except the unlikely event of an annulment). It still is, in the Catholic church, but that's only a spiritual matter and doesn't have anything to do with the law.

The only issue I can think of where it matters is an instance where a boy or a girl inherits significant assets and his/her parents both died, and that's only if it wasn't protected by a trust. Can you think of any? I thought maybe child custody but then realized that one parent can challenge for custody rights regardless of marriage. As far I can tell, it's basically an issue of morality, social acceptability, and a few laws. I'm willing to consider differing opinions though, as I'm not a divorce attorney.

[kcr]

29. It's an issue of minors not being fully mature enough to make such decisions for themselves

It's the reason that in general, contracts with minors aren't legally binding. The rant that the OP posted had some elements of truth to it. It's just that whoever posted it doesn't understand that many liberals do indeed make arguments that minors shouldn't be charged as adults.

[NobodyHere]

34. I agree that 18 should be the minimum age

If a minor does get married, how does s/he file for divorce? I mean it requires a person to be 18 to sign the contract right? I have no idea how that would work.

[darkangel218]

4. I chose 19, but IMHO, even 22 is too early.

Not enough life experience to chose a mate for the rest of your life.

[flvegan]

6. 18. It's a legal contract, much to the chagrin of many.

Your religion, morals and all else aside, it is what it is.

[penultimate]

9. I guess 18, since that's age we deem people to be adults...

Change that to 16 or 17, then my answer would be 16 or 17.

[TheKentuckian]

11. 21. Nothing is worse than a sober wedding and nobody should be breaking the law

for partaking in their own wedding toast.

[RebelOne]

13. My ex and I eloped from Florida to Georgia in 1955.

We lied about our ages. I was 16 and he was 17. We just tacked a few years onto our ages, and there were no questions asked and we were married.

[TeamPooka]

15. 47

[firsttimer]

16. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter

[Major Nikon]

41. If then

[BarackTheVote]

17. I said 21

I don't think people should get married until they can actually drink the campaign for their own toast.

[Nye Bevan]

19. I agree with you, but my approach is to lower the drinking age to 18,

as opposed to raising the marrying age to 21.

[laundry_queen]

25. Yep, I agree with you. nt

[LeftyMom]

22. 80. I figure I'll have my shit together by then.

[Luminous Animal]

23. 2

[Vashta Nerada]

24. 30.

[bemildred]

39. I'll second that. Or have some adults around to help raise the kids. nt

[Benton D Struckcheon]

27. 16 as a minimum, but hardly recommended. n/t

[Live and Learn]

28. I'm going with when the brain is fully developed at 25. nt

[ZM90]

31. Honestly I think the age of adulthood would be fine at 15 but no lower than that.

It would really bring a sweeping change to our society so I imagine people would be afraid of it. To comply with it I would advocate lowering the voting age to 15, enlistment age to 15, and the drinking age to 18 and I would support having less school years but longer school hours. Honestly I have seen a lot of very responsible 15 year olds and age has nothing to do with maturity as a 40 year old man can end up being a huge dumbass.

I think it would really make our society more free and make age of consent laws a lot better as those can really be abused. Then again I'm very far left libertarian in my views so most of you won't agree with me and that's okay. I also really support giving people the right to vote at a younger age.

I doubt this would ever happen though as a slew of laws would have to be rewritten to comply with it.

[Tx4obama]

64. 1+

[ZM90]

69. Thanks Tx4obama. I actually expected to be called a extremist and other not so nice names for

having a different view than most of our society. In fact I thought there would be a attempt to run me out of DU which would have been sad because while I may not always agree with everybody here I know this site has a lot of very intelligent people.

That all being said though I think the lowering of the adulthood age is going to be the next civil rights struggle especially considering all of the abuse of the age of consent laws that are on the books. I think just like gay rights people are going to be afraid of it at first because to the average person it will signal such a cultural shift but we've really advanced when it comes to the rights of LGBT people so I sincerely hope in the next few decades we can advance in really getting the conversation going of lowering the adulthood age. One civil rights struggle at a time though right? To paraphrase something Chris Matthews said though "There are those who fight to expand rights and those who restrict them but, in the end the people who fight to enlarge our liberties tend to win the argument.".

[napi21]

32. I voted for 21, but truth be told, I suggesst older than that!

I understand your point about the 16 yo being charged as an adult, but MOST marriages at 16-19 fail. Why get into a relationship with that poor of a success record?

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

33. Going by my circle of friends and family, I would say 30.

Everyone who married before 30 has divorced, everyone who married after 30 has thus far stayed married.

[Xithras]

35. 16, with approval from a judge

18 otherwise.

Basically, it should be 18 unless the couple can demonstrate to a judge that the marriage is not coerced and that there are extenuating reasons to justify an early marriage.

[Douglas Carpenter]

36. most likely, Mary the mother of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was about thirteen or fourteen when

Last edited Thu Jan 2, 2014, 07:10 AM - Edit history (1)

she married Joseph the Carpenter who was almost certainly at least twenty or older. However, that was two thousand years ago. No doubt even one hundred years ago girls getting married at thirteen through fifteen would not have even raised eyebrows even in most of the western world. But then again young boys of twelve would go off to work in the mines or factories only a few generations ago. My grandfather went off to work on the railroads when he was twelve. So, in the absolute sense - I would not say young marriage is an intrinsic evil unless we were to believe that all previous generations were intrinsically evil. But in our day and age - relative wealth and a great deal of social reforms at least within the western world have made it possible to protect the young from excessive responsibility and exploitation - so I think with that in mind - I think eighteen would be the appropriate minimum age for marriage. It took thousands of years to achieve this reform - so I think it should be recognized as a great advancement for the world.

[me b zola]

37. Creepy n/t

[RandiFan1290]

38. Still obsessed with defending the Duck Pedos?

Creepy

[City Lights]

46. I agree!

[davidpdx]

42. I went with 16 with parental consent

I specifically like how California's law reads:

California: If either the bride or groom is under 18, at least one of the minor's parents, or legal guardian, must appear with the couple. Certified copies of birth certificates are required. The couple must also schedule an appointment with a counselor and then appear before a superior court judge.

Some of the ones that were 15 and as low as 13 were quite shocking.

[Bluenorthwest]

43. What a discussion to behold, straight folks who defend clerics who oppose adult

marriage is both parties are the same sex call for child brides and boy grooms. I see folks here who have exerted much in promotion of anti gay religious figures who claim their own marriage is not very meaningful aside from 'the legal advantages' but they still protect those legal advantages for their own heterosexual community tirelessly, willing to see 14 year oldStraights marry one another, also willing to cheer for those who oppose any marriage rights of any kind for gay people of any age.
The hypocrisy is without bounds. You guys look super rational!

[Comrade Grumpy]

57. You could start an OP about how much you hate the pope.

Except it wouldn't have much educational value because everybody knows it already.

[Katashi_itto]

70. +10000

[LittleBlue]

62. Surely you're not speaking to me

who claim their own marriage is not very meaningful aside from 'the legal advantages' but they still protect those legal advantages for their own heterosexual community tirelessly,

Considering I'm for gay marriage and full marriage equality.

Out of curiosity, who in this thread is against marriage equality?

[Douglas Carpenter]

78. all these gay bashers making excuses for Pope Francis is sure sickening

http://www.advocate.com/year-review/2013/12/16/advocates-person-year-pope-francis

[TBF]

44. I'll certainly encourage my kids to hold off -

but 18 at a minimum. People live longer these days ... no reason to settle down before you've even graduated from high school. The whole Duck Dynasty "find them at 15" makes me dizzy.

[panader0]

45. I told my kids to wait until they're about 28

Have your adventures, travel, education etc. FIRST. Have a bank account, and a home. Once the children come, you will have your hands full.

[dr.strangelove]

47. I think 16 should be the age of majority for all things

drinking, marrying, moving out on your own and anything else. We "baby" kids way too much. I have children of my own and do the same thing with my own kids. In all honesty, kids should be able ot make terrible misakes. They should be allowed to learn from their own errors and the errors of their peers. This stuff would all sort itself out.

[Tx4obama]

65. 1+

[PasadenaTrudy]

48. People still want to get married?

Why?

[hrmjustin]

50. 18.

[ljm2002]

51. Still trying to justify...

...your support of the Duck Dynasty dude's comments about marrying girls at 15 or 16 -- before they're 20 and only want to "pick pockets", eh? I have yet to see you reject that premise. Until you do, I will not take this as anything other than an attempt by you to deflect attention from your odious support of an odious man's odious opinions:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024257809

"In the full video clip it shows he is TELLING A STORY about what he said in the past to a young guy when counseling him about dating.

In the context of the full 2:36 video, at a Sportsmen's Ministry talk, Phil is speaking about when he gave "river-rat counseling" to a young man that was dating a young woman. He advised the young man to taste some of her cooking to make sure she could cook a meal and to make sure she carried a Bible, saying, "that'll save you a lot of trouble down the road. And if she picks (plucks the feathers off) your ducks, (At this point the 26-second clip begins) now that's a woman." After the twenty-six second video clip ends Phil goes on to speak for another minute


Looks like the media has been taking the 26 second clip that is going around the net out of context.

We don't like it when the GOP bashes us with clips out of context and we shouldn't support doing it to the GOPers, in my opinion."

I will note two things: 1 - the "young man that was dating a young woman" already HAD A CHILD with that young woman, which you must have known if you listened to this clip; and 2 - you carefully left out the part about how waiting until young women are 20 years old means they won't pick your ducks, just your pockets.

Please do let us know, again, why you support this man and his remarks? Or better yet, withdraw your support of his ODIOUS views.

[bonzaga]

52. Whatever age is needed for the following:

1) The age of sexual consent
2) The age to open a bank account
3) The age to take out a mortgage, or own property in general, or pay rent

I have no idea if there's a minimum age for 2 and 3, but I'd say the oldest of these three would be the legal age to marry.

[Thinkingabout]

53. Oh, how intelligent and street smart when we become teenagers. I marveled at how smart

my parents became after I was 21, of course they did not get smarter then, I just realized they knew all along. Why in the hell to get married young and miss our on wonderful years while being single. There are lots of years for the married thing. Don't rush it. If Phil Robertson thinks you marry the girls young because you can train them is because the girls are not mature enough to get married until later. Who wants to be "trained" by a man to do things like he thinks we should, be independent, be strong.

[Wolf Frankula]

54. A Constitutional Amendment is Needed

The Age of Eighteen shall be the age of majority in all matters. All matters means all matters. Congress shall enforce this by appropriate legislation.

Wolf

[Shrike47]

55. Legal majority to contract seems right.

[jamzrockz]

56. 16

I think a lot of people give very little credit to teenagers. Most are matured enough at that age to make decisions for themselves. Then again, its always good to experience life outside the family home for at least 5 yrs before settling down in marriage.

21+ is ideal but I have no problem with allowing 16 yr olds to make the decision

[DustyJoe]

58. 16 with consent

I was sad to see the '16 with parents consent' with such a low percentage.
Maybe the current 16 yr old mindset and maturity differs from the 1960's teens.
I met a girl when I was 17 and she just turned 15. I was in the Army and we
got 'engaged' at those ages. I went to Vietnam 2 months after my 18th birthday
and returned 5 months later all shot up. During my convalescent leave a week before
her 16th birthday we asked her parents for permission to marry. Thankfully they agreed
and 11 days after her 16th birthday we were married.

Looking back over knowing her 47 years and this summer hitting our 46th wedding anniversary.
Three daughters and 10 grandkids later, I wouldn't change a thing.

[Tx4obama]

63. Congratulations your 46th wedding anniversary, hope ya'll have many more happy ones :)

[Comrade Grumpy]

59. Interesting. A majority of respondents want a higher marriage age than is the standard.

16 is the age in 31 states.

[Tx4obama]

68. Yeah, I am suprised. I thought there'd be more DUers that would say 'Love is Love' and government...

... should stay out of legislating marriage.

[Iggo]

61. 18.

...and before you ask me about sex and babies: You don't have to be married to have sex, and you don't have to be married to have babies.

Marriage isn't about sex, and marriage isn't about babies.

[Tx4obama]

67. I think for the young folks that want to be married before having sex and babies...

... they should be afforded the right to do so.

[Iggo]

73. And I don't.

[Kaleva]

66. The minimum age in Michigan is 16 with written consent from a parent or guardian.

[Hekate]

71. 18 -- it's a legal contract, if nothing else. I recall when some states allowed girls as young as 13

... to wed. I was 12 years old (1959) when I read that, and it about shocked my socks off to imagine someone only a year older than me stepping into that adult role, having babies, the whole bit. Which state? Can't remember that part, except I retained a picture in my mind of some deeply rural and isolated mountains.

I don't think 18 year olds are really ready to sign contracts -- 21 is more mature -- but that's the law now, so there you have it. Regardless, I think 18 is legally old enough for marriage.

[agentS]

72. marriage at 15, BUT...Only for under 20s only!

Hear me out here. I'd say the marriage rules should go like this
Anyone between the age of 15 to 17 can get married- WITH parental permission AND the partner MUST be within 4 years of age.
Anyone between the age of 17 and 18 can get married- WITHOUT parental permission AND the partner MUST be within 7 years of age.
After 18, fair game.

This will prevent 50 year olds (mostly MEN) from marrying 15 year olds (MOSTLY women) , and arranged marriages between families that are completely unbalanced. The 4 year gap prevents Romeo & Julia (or Julio) legal problems, like that tricky Florida case, plus it increases the likelihood both partners have things in common. It you don't understand your partner's mindset, a marriage won't work regardless of age.
7 years of age after 17 prevents problems, and keeps out the pervs. I remember reading or hearing on the radio that getting married early tends to lead to higher chances of divorce, which means state intervention, which costs US money (taxes, etc). So if you wanna save a buck or two on taxes...

but lets not ignore history and that for many hundreds of years it was normal and encouraged that people 16- 20 get married to each other.

I seem to recall it wasn't normal to bathe regularly either...

[KitSileya]

74. It's a legal contract

That you not only have to be old enough to commit to, but it also gives you legal and medical power of attorney over your spouse should they happen to be incapacitated. We have an apparatus to remove children from under-age parents, should they not be up for the task. Doing the same for spouses is infinitely more complicated. You have to be 18 for all other contracts; 18 is a reasonable age for marriage too, especially intoday's society.

[pipi_k]

75. It's not

really a matter of age, to me. It's a matter of how mentally mature the people are.

Although if there are no children involved, I guess I don't really care if two people want to fuck up their own, and each others', lives.

It's the kids I'm concerned about. I would support age minimums, number one...and psychological testing, number two...before people should be allowed to bring innocent children into this world.

For me, there's nothing worse than seeing the suffering of kids being "raised" (more likely abused) by people who shouldn't even be allowed to have a dog, let alone a kid.

[NCTraveler]

76. I would pick two options

18 should be the age, and the government shouldn't recognize marriage. Just because an age limit is set does not mean the government should play any role in marriage.

[LynnTTT]

77. Age 36!!

Which just happens to be my age when I married my second husband. Married to the first guy at age 19, married 12 years/10 months/17 days (but who's counting) before I got smart and left.
My DH and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary in February, thank you very much.

[intaglio]

79. None of these

A)18 where no external consent from 3rd parties is needed.
B) Younger 15 - 17 but elder partner 18 or over - marriage has to wait until both are 18 or over.
C) Both parties 15 - 17 both parents consent required and a 3rd party social worker assessment has to be passed.
D) Younger than 15 no way.

Options (C) and (D) are because many arranged marriages are agreed by both parents so the parents cannot be wholly trusted to have the best interests of a minor in mind.