Happy New Year! You're fired!
My wife, a store manager for a department store, who has been with her company for over 17 years now, shared some words of caution with me last night.
Anyone who has ever worked in a department store, is well aware of retail sales, markdowns, specials, etc... and all the crap that goes along with it. From free coupons and gift cards for all customers before noon, to markdown tables, door-busters, 12 hour sales, and whatnot.
These sales tend to cause dread in the employees. You'll inevitably have those customers who wander into the store at 2 in the afternoon, and toss a fit because the store cannot give them the coupon because they are 2 hours late. People will inevitably come in and try to use a coupon for a set of glasses, that was printed for a lamp. Take this on top of the normal every day customer who comes in with a set of Walmart towels (a brand she does not even sell) trying to return them for the retail of an expensive set.
But... "The customer is always right". Remember that scene in "A Christmas Story" where Ralhpie and his brother were in the department store to see Santa? The part where they walked up to the base of the stairs, and the guy in line had to point them to the other side of the store where the lane actually began? During a door-buster, department stores can get a bit busy, so inevitably, there will be a line at the registers.
So, with all of the store's registers manned and ringing up customers and a line that trailed a good 30 feet into the store, a customer approached the checkout and cut (totally not the customer's fault) the line right at the entrance to the checkout queue. One of my wife's floor managers saw this and explained to the customer that they were cutting in line, and directed them to where the actual line started. He offered to take her purchase and hang onto it at the service desk while she waited her turn.
Not too unreasonable right? Well, what happened next perplexed me. The customer shouted at the floor manager. "No! I will not wait! I am in a hurry, and my husband is in the car waiting!" Now my wife's employee was taken off-guard (a fatal mistake in customer service, this is where the wild beast will trip up its prey and pounce) by this outburst. He began to explain to her that it would not be fair for her to cut in line in front of all of the other customers who have been waiting. This went on for a short period, with the customer making some completely reasonable demands about how they should have more registers in the store. Little known secret: a department store floor manager (if fed the proper diet) can poop out up to 4 or 5 registers in a given shift. After the manager refused to let her cut the line (for what I'm assuming was the 3rd or 4th time), she threw what was going to be her purchase onto the floor and stormed out. There was a slow-clap from one of the waiting customers.
My wife had observed the last few moments of the exchange (having heard the shouting from the gift department), and when she made it up front, felt it was not necessary for her to intercede as the floor manager was doing a decent job of trying to calm her down.
So... Is this the end of the story? Does the customer go home and file a complaint with corporate and someone get fired? Not in the least.
A few moments later, a "gentleman" entered the store. He was a bit red in the face to say the least. He immediately went to customer service and demanded to see the store manager. As luck would have it, there was a pile of merchandise sitting on the floor right in front of customer service that the store manager was helping clear away. So she was there in a jiffy. How's that for speed of service?
The "gentleman" then opened up. Like a dam that suddenly let loose a rain-bloated resevior. His tirade was something between a completely incoherent saliva spewing series of gutteral noises and a profanity laced mantra repeating the same phrase over and over. Screaming: "You can't do this to us", while pounding his fist onto the customer service desk. I think I would have a calmer response to having some of my organs illegaly harvested.
My wife was just trying to calm this man down. A feat that I imagined was apparently as easy as trying to calm a badger with his testicles pinched in a beaver trap. There is just no talking him down. So, with no remaining options, my wife just told him to get out. He refused, demanding that the floor manager be fired on the spot. Of course she refused, and repeatedly told him to leave. Upon the threat of calling the police, he finally relented and left.
So... Is this where the customer goes home, creatively changes the story of what happened and someone gets fired? Yep. Remember the mantra of the unreasonable: "The Customer is Always Right". So apparently, no sooner than this man getting into his car was he on the phone with corporate. Apparently he spun a hell of a retelling of the encounter. A tale I assume placed the customers stopping into the store after rescuing a basket of kittens from an apartment fire and other acts that resulted in their nomination of the Nobel Prize for Peace. They were apparently waiting in line, and simply asked to leave. Apparently, the floor manager, for some unknown reason picked this poor, helpless person out of line and demanded they leave for no reason whatsoever. They were so set on this, that the store manager (my lovely wife), not only did not care, she endorsed it. For no reason at all. None!
So, within an hour or so after the encounter, my wife received a call from her boss. Who had in-turn received a call from his boss. Who apparently got the complaint forwarded to him from the White House or something? So now, you have it. Customer's word against the employee's word. So, since the "Customer is Always Right", who's word do you think they took?
Exactly... It was a shame to have to fire the customer like that. It can be expensive to replace a customer. But sometimes that's the price you have to pay.
So, back to the words of caution. If you've ever received poor customer service, remember this: You may just be a shitty customer. If you have ever stated: "The customer is always right." while complaining about service. Odds are your a shitty customer who is also being unreasonable.
*Disclaimer: This tale was written second hand (by myself) from memory, and I have taken some creative license in filling some of the gaps and exaggerating a good portion of the rest.*