The Sex-Ed Wars: Should Public Schools Teach 13-Year-Olds About Grinding?

[Redfairen]

A new piece in the Atlantic asks a straightforward question. Is sexual instruction for young kids appropriate simply because the content of the lesson is clinically accurate? It's worth it to read the whole piece. Here's a taste for starters.

http://m.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/01/should-public-schools-teach-13-year-olds-about-grinding/283115/

In Shawnee, Kansas, 13-year-olds at Hocker Grove Middle School are exposed to an educational poster in sex ed that says the following: "How do people express their sexual feelings? Oral Sex. Sexual fantasy. Caressing. Anal sex. Hugging. Touching each other's genitals. Kissing." Whatever else it is, the poster is accurate. 

But is it appropriate? And does it matter that, according to one of the middle school's administrators, it is but a small part of a larger, "abstinence-only" sex-ed curriculum?

A parent at the school was sufficiently shocked by its contents that he aired his grievances to the local Fox affiliate. Alerted to the story, Rod Dreher, a "Crunchy Con" blogger who has thought a great deal about adolescent education by virtue of his family's decision to homeschool their children, felt outraged too. "What kind of institution exposes middle schoolers to this kind of thing?" he asks. "To be clear, nobody is objecting to sex-ed per se; it’s the specifics of the content here that appall."

The comments at the local news site include several specific arguments against this curriculum:

"Teaching someone how to do something properly at an age that it is socially unhealthy to engage in is legitimizing the activity and normalizing it... People want to fit in and be accepted. If you are teaching children that their peers are doing something, they themselves will feel more compelled to do that."

[Warpy]

1. Oh, FFS! This is the same tired old argument the sex phobic always make

They always yowl that any sex education that touches on any subject at all is going to make their dear little kiddies go out and fuck.

It's time to start ignoring them, folks. Knowing all about the mechanics of childbirth and how to prevent it delays the onset of sexual activity. This has been proven in studies around the planet.

You want little Suzie coming home with a big belly and little Tommy getting sued for child support, keep them as ignorant as possible.

Idiots!

[Demo_Chris]

4. Well said. People are sexual animals. ALL people, including 13 year olds...

We either teach them or they will learn on their own. For whatever it's worth, these days there isn't a 13 year old in America who doesn't know more about sex at that tender innocent age than we knew when we were twenty. They've watched and laughed at videos of people doing things that would make me cringe. So the puritans have already lost the war. None the less, I would like some counterpoint, with actual health science, to go along with the internet extravaganza of depravity.

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. But, but, but, we all know the birds and the bees ACTUALLY DO IT.

and that is all our kids need to know!!!!!

for those who need their sarcasm-o-meter either calibrated or a new one.

[GeorgeGist]

9. Birds do it ...

with bees? Eewww. Gross.

[nadinbrzezinski]

10. I know, have been having that talk with the two conures

they look at me like humans are nuts or something.

[bemildred]

2. Teach them everything from day one.

No more mystery biology.

[upaloopa]

3. Why don't parents teach them from infancy.

I think we pass on our responcibility to the schools.
I would say family nudity is ok and parental sex Ed using professional materials to enhance personal ideals is a good thing.
On edit I got my ideas from my wife's family who were nudists.
My wife's family went to nudist clubs and beaches. My wife knew about sex from day one but remained a virgin till we met at a nudist club. We got married two years later. We are going on 27 years of marriage.

[hunter]

13. I don't remember not knowing about the mechanics of sex.

Not nudist so much as matriarchal Scandinavian casual nudity and California artist. No swimsuit? No problem. Too many people changing clothes for privacy? No problem. At one of my sibling's wedding (a non-Catholic wedding, unlike my own) the bride got one small room to dress, everyone else got another. It was the men who were most uncomfortable.

My mom nursed infants and toddlers anywhere. We knew where babies came from, how pregnancy happened, that sex was fun, and how to avoid trouble and creeps. My parents would tell us how things work and answer any questions. My dad could draw it. I saw my great grandma's breasts a few times. (As a kid I was very impressed how long the were.)

I remember being surprised in grade school that other kids didn't know this stuff. I also knew that some neighborhood kids were banned from our house for various reasons -- that there was art of naked people on the walls and in coffee table books, that my mom and her friends would nurse kids anywhere (that seemed to be a big one at times), and that our house was friendly to homosexuals, homosexual pda couples (gasp!), and various delightfully rare eccentric folks.

Me and my siblings got into all sorts of trouble as teens and young adults, but none of it involved sex. (I could have used a mentor about explosives. I have some scars from that. Bad day when you are asking your brother to pick shrapnel out of your back and telling your mom you fell into cactus...)

I have many siblings and my "choose life" mom always told us any new kids would be welcomed into the family. THAT'S what scared us the most. The house was too crowded already. None of us had kids before were away from home, somewhat established, and ready to have kids.

No surprises.

[malthaussen]

6. Well, the poster is being selective...

... since an accurate and complete list would be longer than War and Peace.

But I'm of the ridiculous opinion that truth is truth, and that if we have to lie to our children to "protect" them, then maybe we ought to do something about the society that makes such lying "necessary."

-- Mal

[Happyhippychick]

7. From the parent of a 13 year old:

They already know.

[surrealAmerican]

8. ^this^

I'd rather have the teacher give them accurate information than have the kids rely on what they get from one another and the media.

[Egalitarian Thug]

14. The very idea that it could be otherwise in this hyper-sexualized and perpetual blizzard

of commercialism is simply insane. Sexuality needs to be an integral part of education from day one.

[Warpy]

15. Yeah, and probably 70% of what they know is WRONG

which is why open and informative sex education is so necessary.

[lumberjack_jeff]

11. I rather like how they do it in england

[Dawson Leery]

12. It is the right time.

By 13, most kids understand how to "do it".