A good friend of mine is addicted, it's fairly obviously going to kill him, even he knows it

[Fumesucker]

"Brian" is a mid 40's guy divorced but living with someone, one tween girl not his biological child but he's supporting her and her mother and has been for most of the girl's life. Brian has another child a son in late teens not living with him but he's still paying child support on. Brian has a good, union job making well above median income but it's a job that absolutely requires a fully physical capable person to do it.

Brian's medical history is not good, at fortysomething he's had a quad or quint bypass already and needs to have some sort of surgery on the veins in his legs as well but he's putting that off, he's on an entire drug store of pills it seems. Not obviously overweight and to look at him generally he doesn't appear in bad health to the casual layman. A good insurance package comes with his union job so coverage isn't as much of an issue as it is for a lot of us.

Brian however is an addict, he drinks at least a twelve pack of beer every single day and smokes at least a pack and a half of cigarettes in the same period, knowing full well that both of those practices are totally contraindicated by his medical condition. When he drinks he doesn't eat since it spoils the buzz and then when he does eat he has cravings for all the old comfort foods that are really bad for him. Chain smoking while drinking is the other part of the addiction, Brian doesn't seem to smoke as often when he's not drinking, once the first beer can goes in the recycling though the ashtray starts filling up too.

We've had the frank conversation about it, more than once actually, Brian knows what he's doing and in my mind it's his right to do it. I also don't think making the substances he's addicted to impossible to buy legally and locking him in prison for having them would help him in the long run.

I don't really see all that much difference between my friend and Philip Seymour Hoffman, both are or were middle aged men who have union jobs, both support or were supporting families and both are committing or have committed suicide.

[CBGLuthier]

1. Slow Motion Suicide vs. Russian Roulette Suicide.

Both are a tragedy.

[steve2470]

2. Unfortunately his situation is not that uncommon

I've worked with addicts. Even ones that are highly motivated to quit succumb. It's a horrible disease. It's why so many relapse.

http://www.na.org/?ID=ips-eng-index

Yes, I know many do not like NA but it's one way to recover.

[TwilightGardener]

3. A lot of people prefer their self-destructive habits or lifestyle to living longer or healthier.

Not up to the rest of us to decide that for them--the only real leverage usually comes from immediate family. If that doesn't work, what can anyone do?

[steve2470]

4. you're correct

The addict has to 100% commit himself/herself to recovery 100% of the time. Even addicts who have had a family intervention succumb.

[CoffeeCat]

6. I don't think addicts "prefer" their self destructive behavior...

I think they get physiologically and psychologically addicted to these substances, and it's nearly impossible for them to quit.

When my husband had his wisdom teeth out, they gave him Vicodin. He took two pills for three days. He went back to work on the forth day and didn't take any Vicodin. By noon, he was jonesing for Vicodin so horrendously, that he had to leave work. He described it as his body "was screaming for it." He felt sick and completely freaked out. He didn't take any more Vicodin, but it took him 48 hours of hell to get over the craving.

I've read articles about pain pills. Did you know that 75,000 people in this country die each year due to overdoses or health-related issues related to these highly addictive pain medications, like Vicodin.

These drugs are so dangerous and outrageously addictive.

It was reported that Hoffman was clean and sober for a long time, but he went on prescription pain meds, became addicted to them and this caused a backslide with the heroin--an addiction that he had previously kicked.

I mean seriously...when in the hell is someone going to do something about these medications? If pot killed 70,000 people a year, we sure has hell would be hearing about it. These corrupt pharmaceutical companies don't care if their poison creates addicts or kills 70,000 people each year. CRAZY and unfair that their profits supersede our health and our lives!

[TwilightGardener]

16. I hear you on the narcotics--I was a nurse, so I saw a lot of dependency issues, and

also had abdominal surgery, was prescribed morphine and Percocet. While I needed the morphine in the hospital, I was able to rely mostly on 800 mg ibuprofen tabs at home, and threw away the Percocet after two days. I was nervous about getting dependent, as I'd seen other people become that way. That said, some people simply have no desire (or not enough desire) to give up their beer, wine, nicotine, cheeseburgers, pain pills, whatever. I have family members like this--drinkers, smokers, people who know better but enjoy their habits too much. I myself can't give up sugar and caffeine--I'm lucky that my "addictions" (and I use that term loosely here) are pretty minor and don't interfere with anything in life.

[Systematic Chaos]

5. My food addiction cost me a leg last year, which I documented here on or about New Years Day.

It took weighing over 500 lbs. a few years ago to get me to even begin turning things around. The lost leg was "in the cards" at least 5 years ago; I don't know how the hell I managed to keep it without nearly dying of blood poisoning long before I did. I've made it into the low 300s at this point but I'm stuck in a holding pattern because it hurts like hell to exercise (I'm talking pain from worn out joints here rather than just the usual muscle pain of trying to get in shape), and you don't burn off body fat without starving if you don't ever fucking move.

I also got in touch with an old friend who's like a brother from another mother to me this past Sunday evening, after hearing from others in my old circle that he's gotten heavy into drugs and alcohol. My first time communicating with him in almost exactly 25 years. Um, yeah. By the end of our 90-ish minute conversation he was repeating himself over and over and often barely intelligible. I just want to cry because this dude is so important to me that I think I'd take a bullet for him, and there are less than 5 people on earth I can say that about. One other one is definitely my awesome wife, my oldest brother makes three, and another very close friend from my teenage years is four. Can't even come up with the fifth right now if there is one.

Addiction sucks. All we can do is try to make each day a little better than the one before, and try to remember to love ourselves and make an active effort to atone for any guilt we may feel. What the fuck else is there, really?

[Jesus Malverde]

10. .

Keep up the good work.

[hedda_foil]

12. Have you tried a water exercise class?

Many hospitals, pools and health clubs offer these classes for people with a wide range of conditions. The water takes the stress off your joints and the teachers are specifically trained to work with people who are physically challenged.

[hedgehog]

14. Your post reminds me of John Candy, who also fought to get his weight down

Keep up the good fight.

[PasadenaTrudy]

7. Seems like

some people have a death wish. I've known a few drinkers like that in my day. Made it into their early 50s. The liver can only take so much abuse It is tough to watch I know. My sis was a heroin addict, luckily got clean and stayed clean about 20 yrs. until pancreatic cancer got her at 62. It seemed so unfair, she was a long distance runner, happy, sober, vegetarian. You just never know, huh?

[bettyellen]

8. you could be describing both my brothers, haven't seen them sober in years but I suspect their

coworkers do. Or have. One has mysteriously retired early from a job that was more important to him than anything.

They are at an age where it's not fun and games anymore, and it's pretty fucking sad. Getting drunk is what they do the moment the work whistle stops. I imagine they might still pack in a bit of sober time on the afternoons of their weekends enough to keep their households functioning. I don't know. They are both completely dependent on their wives to hold down the fort- wives who hate each other so much that no one in the family sees each other. I tried to fix that for a few years, but have recently given up. I invite them to stuff, don't get replies. I wonder if they even remember me sometimes. We used to be very close, all the way to our mid thirties, knew all each others friends.

One is so embarrassed by his (and his wives) condition that he has checked out and returns no one in the family's phone calls at all, the other has made the excuse that their house isn't clean enough for 3 1/2 years running, so I can't ever see my nephews. So they lie and hide in the shadows and stay close to where they are comfortable, and enabled. I tried to talk to the one with kids, and he was completely in denial about his wife cutting off the family. He goes along with his controlling wife- who hated all his friends and family and has ditched us all- because she provides structure he needs. I feel awful for both, but at this point I think I need to let them be. Very stubborn men. It's so hurtful, I'd like to just forget they exist too.

[peace13]

9. People die in car wrecks...

I drive..Am I committing suicide. Safe to say that we all do things that cause our bodies wear and tear. Worry, overeating, sitting in front of the TV / computer. Choices yes....committing suicide?

[MostlyAmused]

11. As elegant a description as I have seen.

http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2013/mar/09/russell-brand-life-without-drugs

[valerief]

13. Your friend is using legal poisons. PSH used illegal poisons. The difference?

It's who gets the most money from the poisons.

[Freddie]

15. Opiates/heroin are different

In many people, powerfully physically addicting from the first dose (see comment above). Most heroin addicts started with prescription pain meds and found a better, cheaper high with heroin. It takes a long time drinking to become an alcoholic and most of us can handle moderate drinking without becoming addicted. There's no such thing as "moderate" heroin use.
My son is a recovering heroin/opiates addict. 1 year clean this week. We had a good chat about PSH and he reassured me he is still in the right frame of mind to continue his sobriety. I pray for him daily. He is only 23 and from what I've read, at his age it's likely his brain will recover fully. But as PSH has shown, relapse is always possible no matter how many years of sobriety have gone by.

[madville]

17. That's a very familiar story

Been on that road myself at times. Everyone is always going to quit tomorrow or for New Year's or before age 40, etc, etc. Then that bad hangover hits and they're "never drinking again" which lasts a few days and then it's back to business as usual. "I never miss a day of work/take a sick day!" is a common statement. The cigarettes accelerate the decline in health, maybe more so than the alcohol, the combination will lead to a premature death for many that indulge.

Like you said, making these substances illegal would have little effect, I could make a five gallon batch of 10-12% ABV hard apple cider with a 15 minute trip to any grocery store for around $20 (and a week or two of ferment time of course).

On an opposite note, I talk to many elderly people (80+ years old) and many will start talking about "living too long". All their close family and friends have passed or are in terrible shape, they have chronic medical conditions, are on cocktails of medications, dwindling finances, trouble walking, fall dangers, can't drive anymore, vision problems, depression, Alzheimer's, dementia, etc, etc. Many come across as kind of regretting living to a late age based on what they see as the reward for doing so, the conditions mentioned above.