Hating is bad for your health

[Cyrano]

I'd been feeling really lousy for a long time, in spite of the fact that I eat healthy foods and exercise daily. My doctor couldn't find anything wrong with me in blood tests and a general physical exam.

I mentioned this to a close friend, who never gives unsolicited advice, and asked him what he thought could be causing it. His answer was immediate. "Hatred," he said. My response was, "Ummm, Hunh?"

He told me that I spend entirely too many evenings watching hours of MSNBC, and entirely too much time on liberal websites. "Most of your conversations," he said, "are about how much you hate Republicans, how infuriating they are, how insane they are, and how we have to find some way to get them out of power forever."

He was absolutely right. My hatred for Republicans was, all too often, my main topic of conversation. And it was eating me up.

I cut way back on my MSNBC viewing, sticking mainly with Rachel, and I changed my online reading habits. That was a month ago. And I'm feeling better with every passing day. For the first time in a couple of years I feel really healthy and energetic.

We Dems have every reason in the world to hate Republicans. And I'm not saying we should start liking them or ignoring them. What I am saying is that we cannot become so obsessed that we end up damaging ourselves.

As many a wise person has said, "Everything in moderation."

[badtoworse]

1. Don't leave out the rich

Many people get so consumed with their hatred of the rich that they feel like shit and don't accomplish there own goals.

[el_bryanto]

2. I personally don't hate the rich - I just want to make their lives harder and more difficult

Not to punish them but because they have things way to easy and that ease is killing America.

Bryant

[badtoworse]

4. Whatever floats your boat. Personally, I'd rather be rich myself.

[el_bryanto]

7. And when you do get rich do you want pay a fair tax rate?

Do you want to have your business regulated? Do you want to be required to pay a decent wage? Do you want to pay a capital gains tax? Do you want your hiers to have to pay a probate tax?

In other words, do you want to be a good member of society or do you want to fuck over your fellow citizens in the way that many if not most wealthy people are doing right now?

Bryant

[badtoworse]

11. Define "fair" tax rate?

Businesses are already regulated. I believe in paing a decent wage. I already pay capital gains tax. I don't believe in the death tax.

[Cyrano]

12. Why don't you two go hijack a different thread?

[el_bryanto]

30. No. nt

[zarnon61]

35. Why?

Define rich. I've worked in primary care for 15 years, 13 in college to get there and amassed 175,000 in debt. Now I make a six figure income and you'd think I was having lunch with Bill Gates. I already pay 46% of my salary in state and federal taxes.

America, the Democracy where 10 people get to tell 1 person how much he needs to pay them.

[laundry_queen]

65. God yes. nt

[el_bryanto]

29. A fair tax rate would be one considerably higher than the current one

Businesses aren't regulated nearly enough.

You might personally want to pay a decent wage, but most wealthy people and corporations do not, and that's why they have to be made to.

The Probate tax is a just and fair tax which was applied only to the largest estates.

Bryant

[Scuba]

37. "Businesses are already regulated. "

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014720311

http://www.democraticunderground.com/101683510

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024453496

[Spitfire of ATJ]

55. LOL!!! There is no "Death Tax" and Capital Gains should be taxed at the same rate as payroll....

BTW: Saying "business is already regulated" is nonsense. Some are, some aren't.

[merrily]

19. There's a big difference between rich and greedy.

I've been one, but not the other.

[badtoworse]

21. Absolutely right. Greed is character flaw and rich is an economic state

Greed exists across the economic spectrum and is wrong at every level.

[merrily]

36. Before I give the wrong impression,

I've never been heiress rich or Meryl Streep rich or head of G& M rich, or anything near it, just relatively well paid.

Compared to someone who cleans houses, I earned a fortune. Compared to those in the first sentence of my post, I didn't make shoe money. I did make enough to live nicely and give away money, too.

[enki23]

62. "Greed exists across the economic spectrum and is wrong at every level"

What sort of oversimplistic horseshit is that? My cat is greedy for more cat food. Shall I consider this a moral failing on his part? My son is greedy my love and attention, no matter how much he gets. Is that equal to someone being so greedy that they live in a fucking mansion while people suffer, homeless, outside a few blocks away? How about if the mansion dweller, like most mansion dwellers, uses some of their excess power to join with other mansion dwellers to throw their excess golden weight around to make sure the useless fuckers, many of whom are made useless by the mansion dwellers themselves, suffer even more?

To make sure they grow in number, and proportion, so that the fucking mansion dwellers can have more people lecture at about the equal fucking failing of fucking greed in all men's fucking souls?

There are tens of millions of people greedy for just a taste of real hope. Not the lottery-ticket hope that's held out to them by the people who hold their blood for collateral. Real hope. The kind they used to call expectation. The kind the mansion dwellers have in spades. The kind the rest of them only find in delusions, and rare fortune.

Yeah. Everybody's greedy just the same. Just like everybody gets hungry. Just the fucking same.

Maybe you're right, and we can't relieve the mansion dwellers of their greed. Probably we can't. Be we can relieve them of some of their power. Yeah, like some numb bastard said above. "American democracy". Five out of teen sheep voting to give a tapeworm a fucking raise.

[PowerToThePeople]

3. People have sacrificed their lives for the cause

People have sacrificed their lives for the cause of bettering the human condition. I am sure i can sacrifice some "well being."

[el_bryanto]

9. In fairness, I think he's talking about hatred not working for the cause

Hating people doesn't actually benefit the cause.

Bryant

[1StrongBlackMan]

24. +1 ...

Many will completely miss the distinction because emotional investment (whether it be hate or joy) has the feeling of actually doing something; but is a whole lot easier.

[pipi_k]

16. When you hate to the point

that you sacrifice your "well being", you are also sacrificing the well being of people around you.

You give off vibes that affect, at the very least, the people closest to you...who are the ones who really should matter.

And, as the reply above mine pointed out, hatred does absolutely nothing to better the human condition.

Try it sometime. Sit for an hour or so and conjure up the most hatred you possibly can for, say, injustice. Did anything change?

Probably not. Your hatred didn't better anything, although it did waste an hour of your time and probably made those closest to you pretty miserable.

[tridim]

5. Same realization here, but in 2008.

I wasted a big chunk of my 30's being negative (because of Bush), it's not even close to worth it.

[marions ghost]

6. Get active

-act on the hate instead of just avoiding MSNBC, which is a passive activity. If you actually post on liberal websites, that's less passive than watching TV, but it's still not as active as if you were doing something really constructive with your hate.

We who care --need to create the positive, not simply avoid the negative. That has its own form of dissonance.

[1StrongBlackMan]

26. +1 ...

Yeah, what you said.

[marions ghost]

31. thx

[1StrongBlackMan]

32. It seems that many confuse ...

emotional investment on an issue, with actually doing something on that issue.

[marions ghost]

48. Yep

--it is not enough to say "I care!!!" --("except when it bothers me and I put it on Ignore&quot .

Someone who does that might as well be among the lo-info crowd. It's the same difference.

This kind of downtrodden, I can't take it anymore attitude-- is too beneficial to the element that truly wants to keep the rest of us down. If we leave it only as polite dinner table conversation with our caring (but not doing) friends...this does NOTHING to change anything OR to make anyone feel better. It only buries the depression for a later time.

Now I am NOT saying anyone should get themselves into such a state of depression about the world that it makes them suicidal/non-functional. Quite the opposite. I am saying to try DOING something--no matter how small--as an antidote to that depression. And DO take breaks from any sort of involvement. Balance it. But get active. Get with those who have ideas. Never think any contribution is too small. Never.

I know from hard experience--when you turn away from something too much, you're only burying it.

I see you and I agree

[Xipe Totec]

8. I hate to admit it, but you may be right. nt

[Rex]

10. That is one reason I don't have cable or a TVEE anymore.

Was one of the biggest sources of anger for me. Watching all the corporate media shows just raised my blood pressure.

Also watching the BFEE flee from office, brought down my anger level.

[Puzzledtraveller]

13. One day none of it will matter

at least while I'm here, I'm not holding onto the bad stuff

[roody]

14. Wishing them enlightenment is better

for your health.

[Ghost in the Machine]

15. "Hatred is a product that destroys the vessel in which it is contained"... I live my life by this

creed. Hate takes over your soul and eats you up from the inside out. You need to identify the problem, take the steps necessary to let go of the hate, then find inner peace. The process can be lengthy, or very short... it all depends on YOU, and how willing you are to let go.

Peace,

Ghost

[Armstead]

17. You're right....Hating is bad. But it's hard to avoid getting pissed off.

I try not to be a hater on any level, personal or in the larger sense. part of that is my nature and upbringing. Part of it is effort, based on the realization you cited.

Generally i accept people for who they are, and despite my occasional ranting on DU and elsewhere, I am known personally as easygoing and rather mellow.

Some people are shits, but that can be the case regardless of political perspective or economic position

I have some conservative friends. I often totally disagree with them, and we can infuriate each other if we talk politics. But generally I like them as people, and our disagreements are good-natured and I try to see their point of view.

I also know or had personal and/or professional contact with numerous people in the upper echelons (not the One Percent, but people who are high on the economic food chain). For the most part, they are often decent people and even politically liberal, and believe they are doing the right thing.

In a larger sense, I also do my best not to get caught up in the politics of hatred. I try to look at is as systemic problems,
both institutionally or ion tyerms of the values that have been foisted on society. Again, there are shits in power, but often it is people doing what they feel they have to in this system.

But I also can I get too caught up in the negative side of issues, and when that happens it affects me on a gut level. Throughout my life i have noticed a pattern that I become somewhat accepting of the larger situation. That is a balance, I am able to find between focusing more on my own life and happiness.

But then something (or a combinati0on of things) happens and pisses me off on a gut level. Might be an election or a national debate over an issue or just a big oir small thing that gets my dander up. Makes me angry, and sometimes become bile against a person or group.

I guess ultimately it boils down to the goal of find a balance between engagement and disengagement, acceptance of human nature and the desire to do better, etc.

That's a tricky balance to accomplish, but we try.

[Le Taz Hot]

18. And beyond the physical ramifications,

intense hatred of Republicans/conservatives also clouds your perspective and your judgment. Eventually, you believe that everything wrong in the world is the Republicans' fault. Conversely, people find a way of justifying or they turn a blind eye to what atrocities their own side is committing. So, here's the thing, partisan politics is designed to do just that. In the end it's not only your health that suffers but your perspective and your credibility.

[merrily]

20. I'm sorry that message boards and TV affected you that way.

They don't affect everyone that way.

Glad you feel better.

[Xyzse]

22. That's very true.

Which is why, I generally don't go here at nights.

Once I am out of here and stuff like that, I spend my time on other things.

[Cyrano]

23. I often wonder if teabaggers and other wingnuts

are being consumed by their hatred.

They are constantly being whipped into a frenzy by the right wing echo chamber and my guess is that their hatred of us far outweighs anything we feel about them.

Now that I'm "on the road to recovery" so to speak, (as explained in my OP), I wonder if they'll ever start to see the light. It seems to me that at their current rate, they will totally destroy themselves.

[Armstead]

40. Socierty today seems to thrive on anger and negativity

Pop culture, for example, celebrates personal feuds. Much of the music scene, "Reality" TV shows, sports...It emphasizes people "hating" on their friends, trash talking, yelling at high decibels about an opponent, etc.

I think that bleeds into politics too.

[madville]

25. I've noticed the same thing

I don't watch the news or any shows at all anymore, they have a negative effect on my mood an outlook.

I lived with my 90 year old grandmother for awhile to help her, I noticed the same thing with her. Some days she would watch news and politics all day long and be depressed and stressed out about the state of the world. Or she would watch old movies and TV shows all day and be in a great mood. I had to remind her all the time to get off the news and politics, sometimes she would be on the verge of tears.

[G_j]

27. I know I post this quote a lot but..

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, and kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places-and there are so many-where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility to send this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. This future is an infitite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."

-Howard Zinn

[Cyrano]

28. Great quote

[LittleGirl]

42. thanks for sharing this quote

from my favorite American...RIP Mr. Zinn

[JNelson6563]

47. Excellent quote.

I haven't seen you post it before so thank you for doing so again.

Julie

[seabeyond]

33. absolutely. i totally agree. i do not believe in hatred. and.....

i do not have to feel hate speaking up and out about important issues. i think we can do in a healthy and grounded manner, without the hate.

i agree with your friend, and you, hate is very unhealthy

[heaven05]

34. I agee!

Don't hate, eradicate. Glad you're feeling better. Have to check myself constantly.

[Vashta Nerada]

38. Hatred keeps me going.

I channel that energy into things I'm doing, such as my thesis, artwork, and stuff like that.

[Bonx]

53. I can't imagine living a life fueled by hatred.

How does that translate into anything good ?

[Vashta Nerada]

57. You'd be surprised.

[Bonx]

59. Yes, I would. -nt

[PADemD]

39. Hatred, or wrath, is not called one of the seven deadly sins for nothing.

[Lil Missy]

41. I cut back on watching MSNBC and liberal reading too.

Too much of it rots my brain. I watch movies and do other things resembling having a life. And I do feel better.

Good luck!

[santamargarita]

43. I despise that bunch for making me hate them!

I usually blow off stream here and try and leave it alone after that.
Hate is a killer!

[get the red out]

44. Obsession more than hate IMO

I became obsessed like that and was addicted to MSNBC, listening to progressive radio online all the time; I felt like HELL. Miserable. I too had to change my habits and develop interests other than politics. But it was obsession that drove me nuts; I still reserve the right to hate. I think we are trained to play nice and never hate or think ill of others as a kind of control mechanism, or at least it serves that purpose. I reserve the right to say "Yea, I hate what those jerks are doing, and a lot of those guys I simply HATE; but I will not allow them to control my existence with that."

[PasadenaTrudy]

45. You did the right thing

My therapist used to offer the same advice to lay off the heavy stuff. So many things are out of our control, why make ourselves sick over them? Most of us have enough day to day problems to deal with let alone the ones we can't solve. Escaping into nature always helps me. Just looking at trees, flowers, birds...ahhhh

[marions ghost]

49. Until it comes home to you...

The ability to "look away" is a luxury for many.

When things are out of control as they are now--it WILL impact most of us one way or the other.

I too, escape into nature--but even that makes me sad at times when I realize how fragile it is and how badly we treat it. A few years ago I was one who used to stick to my small world, the day-to-day--isolated from that annoying input from the outer sphere. But one day the policies of that outer sphere came in to bite me hard. Now I don't believe in evading uncomfortable news or realizations passively. I believe in doing something with those feelings of dissonance.

The answer is community. Together is how we solve the really BIG problems.

[PasadenaTrudy]

63. To each their own....n/t

[marions ghost]

64. You state the problem exactly

"to each their own."

And for many that is a very small island.

More like a life-raft, these days--not a strong position when the winds blow.

[PasadenaTrudy]

66. Most things

we worry about don't happen. I'm not going to make myself sick worrying about something that may or may not happen. If you want to, be my guest, otherwise bugger off.

[marions ghost]

69. Bugger off?

Nasty

Let's not make it personal mkay? This is a message board. What I write is my POV which may be shared by others too. It's a group discussion. How could I possibly know you well enough to irritate you personally?

But thanks for illustrating my point perfectly. People are so hair-trigger, defensive and bitchy these days. It is a symptom of the disturbed state of our society. Everybody retreats to their little island, afraid of their shadow, ready to pounce. I see a lot of it.

I agree totally with taking breaks from the big picture news and focusing on what's immediately around us on a regular basis, but I'd like to add a cautionary note about thinking that this takes care of a deep depression or sensitivity to the negative things occurring around us. I have seen people go completely ostrich, which does nothing but postpone the inevitable need to face the fact that there are big things that are wrong here. And doing something in response.

Dealing with what we are witnessing today takes balance, not denial. And one means of achieving balance is to face it in an active way, instead of passively turning away. Just saying, "I can't control anything beyond my own doorstep' --ie. shutting down, detachment, suppression--works for awhile and may be necessary if overwhelmed--but you (plural, rhetorical "you&quot will continue to feel dissonance at a subterranean level.

Just deciding to not pay attention does not mitigate the tension created by living in a world that does not make sense, on the level that we are seeing today. It catches up eventually, unless you are actively doing something positive that answers directly to the negativity, no matter how small. It can be as small as planting a tomato in a community garden, sending some money to a group that is working hard on an issue you care about (even if you have little money--I have seen groups collect $5 from each person and work miracles), do some small GOTV task, etc etc. Whatever your talent or skill. You don't need to be a martyr to a cause. Support something. You do it for YOU as much as for others. It is transformative.

BUT if it's all rainbows and unicorns-- (big D) Denial--it WILL catch up with you. I know. I did that. Does not work any more. Things are too dire.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to say these things as I hope they speak to others, if they don't to you personally.

Cheers. Carry on and good luck

[JNelson6563]

46. Yes, one of my two life rules.

#1 is all things in moderation. #2 is try not to be too much of a shithead.

Everything else just seems to fall into place.

I don't have TV and I read much less DU than I used to. In life, with those who incite anger/hatred/whatever-negative-ya-got, I avoid them, like forever, and they fade from my mind. I end up feeling nothing about them. Much better than feeling something bad.

Julie

[kairos12]

50. Your friend may be right. I follow DU

to keep up. Try to moderate everything else. I eat right, exercise, and despite that, my BP is way up. I hate Republicans and everything they stand for. In the end, the rethugs could kill me. I am trying to not let that happen.

[otohara]

51. My Doctor Has Turned Into A Tea Party Douche

Anything he says to me know sounds kinda stupid and teaparty hateful - his partner believes in prayer for health. I mock him and laugh at his new found stupidity.

I have bad health anyway - hating, not hating isn't going to take away the chronic pain of Post Polio Syndrome.

I take breaks from all of this every few days - but with Christie taking a nose dive - I'm having fun watching him twist in the wind.
The weed helps too.

[RoccoR5955]

52. Don't hate...

Try to understand their point of view, however illogical, and learn to come up with solutions.
Then sing a nice folk song. If possible, get others to sing along with you.
If you can, write your own verses to an old folk song. Put it through the "folk process." That's what folk music is all about.
I know a guy who did this, and lived to almost be 95!

[Omnith]

68. I like that idea. Thanks.

[joanbarnes]

54. I like to picture what Their HATRED is doing to them!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

56. Became much less "hate-y" when Bush/Cheney left DC nt

[Blue_Tires]

60. Cyrano speaks the truth

how does the saying go? "Hatred is like taking doses of poison and expecting the *other* person do die," or something like that...

I need to start taking my own advice...

[oldandhappy]

61. Sometimes I have to back off.

I can tell when I am out of humor. If I cannot laugh, I back off. The morning toons help lots. When some t folk try to trap me into agreeing with them on something, I respond with 'hey, I leave you with you ulcer on that one.' I figure the hate from the t folk is worse than what we deal with. At least we are able to talk about ideas. Stay healthy friend. Gotta have healthy folk to help in the coming elections. Sign up to be a precinct workers -- use that energy to get out the vote!

[Skittles]

67. you know what they say

ignorance is bliss

NOT saying you are ignorant - but certainly now, the less you know the less angry you will be