NJ teen loses first legal battle to make parents pay for education

[Logical]

I think this is a great ruling.

(Reuters) - A New Jersey student who says her parents abandoned her when she turned 18 lost a first round on Tuesday in the lawsuit she filed against them for school costs and living expenses, a case that could set a precedent for a family's obligation to support a child who has left home.

A family court judge denied a request by Rachel Canning of Lincoln Park, New Jersey, to have her parents temporarily resume paying her tuition and living expenses. He set another hearing date for next month.

Canning, 18, wants her parents to pay the remaining $5,000 in tuition owed to the Morris Catholic High School, where she is a senior, and she wants access to a college fund that was set up for her.

The cheerleader and lacrosse player claims her parents kicked her out of the house in November 2013 after she turned 18, the age of legal adulthood. She wound up living with a friend's family, she said, and the upheaval has jeopardized her educational future.

Judge Peter Bogaard rejected her request for a temporary payout of about $600 a month in support as well as tuition for her private high school, which has waived fees while the case is settled.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/03/05/us-usa-familyfeud-newjersey-idUSBREA2401C20140305

[Lil Missy]

1. After reading the whole article, she sounds like a spoiled brat that wants

to make her own rules while living with parents. She can't have her cake and eat it too.

[Dr. Strange]

9. She doesn't want her cake.

She wants her parents' cake.

[Orrex]

25. This is why we need tort reform.

[Dr. Strange]

31. I assume you mean tart reform.

That's what she really wanted her parents' dough for.

[Orrex]

32. The situation has many layers, yes.

[Dr. Strange]

65. I suspect that when this is over...

she'll get her just desserts.

[seleff]

71. TV story mentioned an Eating Disorder may be in play

Al Jazeera America was covering the story. There was a mention of her having an eating disorder. Having been through this with an 18 year old daughter, if this is true this story cannot be comprehended with that tidbit missing. EDs can be VERY powerful in destroying family relationships, or are indicators of ongoing family problems. We had to have our daughter committed twice against her wishes to save her life. Setting boundaries and conditions were critical to helping her fight the disease. EDs don't play around.

[riderinthestorm]

80. My first thought too was that there's more background than curfew and boyfriend issues

I hope your daughter is doing better now. (((Hugs))) to you all.

[snooper2]

110. And the article is wrong, they were asking for $654 a week

"allowance" LOL

[tammywammy]

116. Jeez, that's more than my net pay per week.

After taxes, insurance, 401k, and charity deductions I take home $530/week.

[NYC Liberal]

2. If they really are telling her she can come home and that the college money is still there for her,

she won't have a case.

If the parents were fighting this and saying "She's 18, not our problem, she's on her own" then she might. But it doesn't seem that way.

[proudretiredvet]

82. I don't agree with that.

She is of legal age and her parents do not owe her anything. The articles I read does not say there is a college account it says she wants them to set one up.
She left her parents house on her own by her own decision. She didn't win today and will not win in the future.
She made her own bed in this and now it is hers to sleep in.

[LiberalFighter]

178. In NJ emancipation is only determined in court if necessary.

It is not automatic. Some actions may trigger it or be a factor in determining emancipation. Sometimes the court doesn't need to step in because both parties agree with the standing.

If that girl was mine she would be going to public school and there would be conditions placed on her attending college. Since the parents are not divorced the judge is not likely to grant anything regarding college education. She would have to demonstrate a medical necessity or some other deficiency requiring their support. Regardless, she still would need to follow parental rules.

[aikoaiko]

3. I don't understand how sueing to pay for school was even rational...

when the school is letting her remain in classes until graduation.

The school should sue the parents for tuition.

[TorchTheWitch]

7. The school has never wanted to

Which should tell you something. They're allowing her to continue to attend classes and waiving the school fee until the case is settled... at least she can get back to attending classes assuming that her suspension is overwith.

[surrealAmerican]

94. The only thing that's "telling us" ...

... is that suing the parents would cost them more than the $5000 they are owed.

[TorchTheWitch]

4. Good

Nasty little brat.

[Xipe Totec]

5. I'm conflicted on this one.

Why should obligations to a spouse be greater than obligations to a child? You can't just decide to divorce and walk away saying to your spouse "you're on your own". At a minimum there's an obligation for restorative alimony.

Some transitional support is in order, if the child is totally indigent. Especially if the child would otherwise become a ward of the state.

The judge needs to think carefully here; realize that if the parents aren't there for the kid then the burden will fall on the tax payers.

[Logical]

11. I am more in the mode that at 18 she is an adult. She can follow the rule or get out. n-t

[Xipe Totec]

22. Same goes for the spouse... nt

[Major Nikon]

73. It's not the same situation

Two people in a spousal arrangement may decide to divide up the household responsibilities where one becomes the sole breadwinner and the other takes on the primary domestic responsibilities. This type of an arrangement may incur financial obligations on one spouse in the event of a divorce. This is not the same as the parent-child relationship where the financial obligation ends at adulthood.

[Xipe Totec]

86. All you say is true by law. Because we made it so. And we can make it be some other way by law. nt

[Major Nikon]

142. As is the case with any ethical responsibility

But one thing I pointed out to my kids early on was that as an adult when someone else is providing your financial support, that support generally obligates you in some way to abide by their rules. Ethical responsibilities are a two way street in that regard which would be difficult, if not impossible to legislate.

[proudretiredvet]

84. restorative alimony???

Not in a lot of states there isn't. The days of indentured servitude, alimony, are over in many states.
She is of age and not in her parents home by her own decision and her own actions. She left. The rest of life is on her, not them.
I would invite her to the big signing of the new will that leaves her the grand total of $1.
I've always helped my kids but they know it is a two way street. They know what my boundaries are and that I will not violate my beliefs for theirs.
When my adult children have asked me to loan them money I have helped but first they have to show me on paper what the need is, how they got there, and put together a realistic budget showing me how they are going to recover from their bad situation.
I will not contribute to continuing bad decisions or enable them to get further into an unrecoverable debt situation.

[Xipe Totec]

87. Please tell this indentured servant all about it.

Over?

Hardly.

[Dorian Gray]

91. I think why she left is important

She may have chosen to leave because of emotional abuse. That should all be looked at.

[smokey775]

135. CPS was called and they looked into her allegations,

they found no merit for her accusations.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2573165/My-mom-called-porky-dad-got-drunk-told-I-just-daughter-Explosive-claims-spoiled-cheerleader-18-suing-parents-support-ran-away.html

The couple submitted letters to the court which state a Department of Children and Families investigation cleared them. Mrs Canning added: 'In fact, the case worker told us that it was in her opinion that we spoiled our daughter. We gave her too much'.

Mrs Canning added: 'She also told the worker that she had threatened suicide and my reaction was that I "high-fived" my husband. this was so outrageously offensive that it did not deserve to be addressed, but we gladly addressed it with the caseworker'.

Sounds like she's just a spoiled little brat.
Glad the judge ruled the way he did and from his comments, she'll lose the next round also.

[DebJ]

118. Then she should go back home.

And not think a court will tell her she can make her own rules up to please herself.

[sabrina 1]

121. If she wants to be independent she can get a job like so many her age are doing

and work her way through college, if that's what she wants to do. You can join the military at 18, that's an option for her, although I would not advise that.

[demwing]

122. "if the parents aren't there for the kid then the burden will fall on the tax payers" WHY?

Why wouldn't the burden fall on the 18 year old adult? Is she physically challenged in some way? Wait, she's a cheerleader and lacrosse player. Well maybe she's mentally challenged? Nope, according to the school, she's an honor student.

Why assume that the girl cannot fend for herself, just as the majority of us must?

[elleng]

6. 'In New Jersey, emancipation is not contingent on becoming a legal adult at age 18

but instead requires a young person to obtain "an independent status on his or her own" - such as graduation from college, obtainment of employment or marriage.

Family law experts in New Jersey say Canning's case might set legal parameters on whether non-divorced parents in the state are obligated to pay for their children's college education and provide other financial support after the child has left home.

New Jersey is one of several states that require divorced parents to pay for their children's education through college, or legal emancipation, said William Laufer, a family law expert in New Jersey. So far, there is no parallel decision for intact families.'

[avebury]

28. That is beyond appalling.

What if you have a child that refuses to go to college, get a job, or get married. Under NJ Law the parents could be stuck with the kid until they die. What about requiring that children grow up and learn to take care of themselves?

I agree that if the parents say that the girl is more then welcome back into the home as long as she is willing to follow house rules (probably linked to no drinking, a curfew, showing responsibility by helping out around the house, etc.) then the girl does not have much of a case. If she chooses to move out of the family home they should not be required to support her. I wonder if they could sue her for abandonment. LOL!

If the parents are required to pay for her college education under NJ law, the law does not designate what college they have to send her to. Neither does it say that they have to pay room and board at college. They just have to pay for college. I would give her the money to go to a local community college and if she wants to go to a high end school let her come up with the difference. She sounds like a spoiled brat.

[HockeyMom]

102. The High School could sue the parents

for non-payment of tuition. Forget college! They have to finish paying for high school if they signed a contract with the school, wherever she is living, or if she goes at all.

[avebury]

128. And I do think that they should pay the high school bill. nt

[tammywammy]

138. According to the court documents (Linked below)

The parents paid for the fall and notified the school they would not be paying for the spring semester which was within the contract guidelines. That's probably why the school hasn't sued them for non-payment.

[HockeyMom]

140. It is probably too late to enroll in Public School

The best she could do would be to take a GED test.

[tammywammy]

143. Now probably.

The school is still allowing her to attend and according to her filling her friends raised funds to pay for the tuition.

[HockeyMom]

145. Good. At least she can gradaute high school

As a old woman who raised two children, I think far too many parents today are far too controlling of their children.

The parents will be ones who eventually suffer the consequences. Do they want to to apologize to their children on their deathbed for making their childhood miserable? My Dad did that with me. After that, I SWORE I would never do that to my own children.

[tammywammy]

147. After reading the parents responses to the lawsuit

If what they said is correct they weren't being too controlling. A curfew that ranged from 11:30PM to 1:30am, no drinking, keep up your grades, don't skip school, etc. aren't excessive.

If what they said is true that she didn't abide by the curfew, she drove unlicensed, came home drunk multiple times, skipped school the day after she returned from a suspension, and moved out after her parents took away her car and cell phone privileges after she skipped school, she does not come off as a sympathetic character.

The court documents are linked in this thread.

[HockeyMom]

150. Read what I did at 17

I guess the difference was that I PAID my parents rent to live there as a Minor. Curfew? NOBODY wants to answer my point on that.

Would you tell your 40 year old child living with they had a curfew too?

[tammywammy]

161. You paid your parents rent which is completely different than here.

She's stating she's not able to financially support herself and was requesting a $640/week allowance. She wasn't paying them rent. She is a high school student that refused to follow basic rules. Comparing a 40 year old to a 17 year old that is suing for her parents to support her is ridiculous.

[riderinthestorm]

164. And from the court docs Rachel is in no way, shape or form "independent" like Hockeymom

I don't know Hockeymom but judging from her description, she was way more independent and capable of caring for herself than Rachel who is clearly suffering from substance abuse issues and a serious disease (her eating disorders).

[tammywammy]

165. Agreed. n/t

[riderinthestorm]

163. Please read the court docs. Rachel's behavior is waayyy beyond some minor curfew infractions

She's got a serious disease as well that is badly exacerbated by her actions.

If after reading the court documents you can still come back on here and say her parents were TOO controlling, or that Rachel is/was at all prepared to be independent at 17, I'd be pretty surprised.

FWIW, I'll tell you what I've done with my kids - while they were still in high school they had curfews: Freshman 10:30, Soph 11, Junior 11:30 and Senior 12- midnight. Mind you our town has a curfew of 10 pm on weeknights for teens, midnight on weekends, and its illegal for them to be out on the roads after that hour. Our rural county enforces it strictly.

Once they graduated high school the rule was that they had to either be home by midnight or call me and tell me if/when they were going to be home so I didn't wait up all night fretting. This is common courtesy whether you are my child or staying as a guest at someone's house.

An example, my daughter's boyfriend moved to CA for a job and rented a room from a senior citizen woman for a couple months while he was apartment hunting, He made sure to tell his landlord if he was coming home that night or not, or whether he was going to be very late. It wasn't as though he needed to tell her, he knew it was common courtesy since he woke her up when he came in and she'd know it was him (and not some intruder).

[HockeyMom]

169. I did say in my post that I was courteous to my parents

I told them when I wouldn't be home for dinner, or at all, but they could not tell ME that I had to be home at a certain time although still a Minor when I paid them rent. My own daughter did the same to me.

This was a major reason why I got my own apartment in a high rise unit. I didn't have to tell anyone when I came or went, or who I wanted to have visit me. Nice being financially independent a young age. I know in today's world that is now very difficult even at far older ages. Respect, though, is a two way street. Parents expect it from their children, but far too many don't want to give it to their adult children. Same for old people towards younger generation. I am still a bit of a rebel even in my old age.

[riderinthestorm]

171. This girl is NOT courteous. Telling her mother she wants to "shit all over her face"

and worse. In writing. She's stealing from them and lying regularly.

Don't take my word for it. Look at the court documents which are amazingly easy to read. Rachel is NOT ready to be independent. She's a mess.

[riderinthestorm]

149. Please read the court documents and then come back and tell us that you still think the parents

are too controlling. Rachel wasn't trying to live respectfully with her family at all. In fact just the very opposite.

This is a rude, disrespectful young woman with some profound issues - anorexia, bulemia and alcoholism to name a few off the top of my head - that her parents were trying to help her through with therapy and discipline.

[blueamy66]

88. She moved out of her parents' home.

I would say that she has obtained "an independent status on his or her own".

[Jenoch]

8. The family she is currently living with

should be helping this girl mend her relationship with her parents instead of suing them.

When I was quite young, my parents took away the car from my much older sister. Among other things, she transferred to a different college in a different city without telling them and took up with a much older man who was married with children.

[Major Nikon]

74. The law of the instrument applies

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_the_instrument

[Jenoch]

83. Do you onow how many lawyer jokes there are?

Only three, the rest are true.

[bravenak]

10. I didn't think she'd win.

If she were my child I'd have probably spent the money on her tuition, but she'd have to pay her room and board until she graduated from high school. But if my kid sued me, she would learn quickly that it's a hard knock life and that you gotta pay the piper if you want to hear the tune.

I don't see why she would think she should have access to a college fund while she was still in HS and living with her friend. If she starts using it now, wouldn't her parents have to pay tax penalties on the money?

[knitter4democracy]

13. It sounds like she wants it for college or living expenses.

From the sound of it, they've cut her off entirely--no tuition to finish her senior year, no college money that they'd promised (and this is FASFA season, so she needs to know that money's there and how much for her forms), no help of any kind--and all this over a couple of rules or whatever. In earlier reports, it sounded like they wanted her to break up with her boyfriend and kicked her out when she refused.

[bravenak]

16. I know how that feels.

Sounds like they don't intend to pay for her education at all. I think there are troubles in that family that go deep and they all need counseling . I think the dad was a cop. Tells me all I need to know about how much pressure she was under to do what they want. She should start whipping out scholarship applications like her life depends on it. If I were her, I would never trust them to pay my way ever again in life, ever. I probably wouldn't trust them to do right by my little sister either, and I would be waiting for the call with her crying about getting put out.

I expect my kids to be assholes sometimes and to never like their boyfriends. I was so glad to have girls, not boys, cause I have no idea what to do with a boy. If they get good grades and I have the money to pay for school, I'll do it even if they are assholes. I also would never put my daughter out of my house, because of all of the horrible things that (mostly) happen to homeless females. I will not have my daughter end up sex trafficked/kidnapped because she's a mouthy little brat. I'm a mouthy little brat myself, so she got it honest.

[knitter4democracy]

19. That's what I don't get: why screw her over on college now?

She's a senior, and this is a critical time. They cut her off now? Over some rules like curfew? They're the ones telling everyone her private discipline record, they're the ones saying that she can come home, but they're fighting in court to not pay the tuition bill they chose to pay? Something stinks here.

[bravenak]

23. Somebody sounds jealous.

My mom went through that phase, she admitted later what her many problems with me were. I didn't respect her opinions anymore because I could see that she didn't know what she was talking about. And other bad stuff. But I was a good kid, we needed to separate and I needed to take care of thing without her help or micromanagement. She calls me for advice all the time now. And I always have to hear her say that she should have just listened to me.

I think she will get support from others to help fund her college, and she should seem that out.
No sense waiting on her parents to change their minds. They sound like they want her to jump through hoops to get school paid for and it's not worth the degradation. They will feel guilty when she does it without their help and she will feel oh so vindicated.

[knitter4democracy]

24. I agree: emancipation's her best bet at this point.

I just hope the high school goes after her parents to enforce their contract and not her.

[dionysus]

27. BTW, the parents said they were not withholding the college funds (which THEY paid for)

[bravenak]

29. Then what's the lawsuit about if she has access to the money?

I mean of course she can't use it now, there are tax penalties involved.

Her room and board should not be their concern since she could live at home.

This makes less sense by the minute.

[dionysus]

30. bitter feelings i think. spoiled kid vs asshole parents? only they themselves know for sure

I think her friend that she is staying with's daddy lawyer saw dollar signs and jumped in to make the situation worse.. apparently she has 12k in "legal fees" she owes now.

[bravenak]

33. Sounds like it.

Brats vs. assholes.

[dionysus]

35. and her friend's lawyer dad who realized he could pocket that college fund in legal fees...

I suspect that asshole is behind it.

[bravenak]

49. I hope he doesn't expect that 12 grand in legal fees.

That's crazy.

[dionysus]

50. i can tell you one thing, we'll certainly hear about whatever happens, here.

[bravenak]

54. Ain't that the truth!

I'll be here.

[dionysus]

56. and everyone will argue, as usual...

[avebury]

34. Why should her parents hand her over the college money now?

She is not in college yet. I do think that they could finish paying the high school bill though.

It seems like the prudent thing would be for the parents to hang onto the money to see that she actually goes to college. If I were her parents I would be - "Show me the bill and I will write the check to the school." If they have had problems with her drinking, getting suspended from school, breaking house rules, I would be really concerned about her blowing the college money on other things and then coming back for more money. If she wants the money now, I would make her sign a release from requesting any money in the future for college and living expenses.

I had a roommate who had a son who was never going to go to college, couldn't even begin to show responsibility for keeping a job and learning how to take care of himself, and had psychological problems on top of all that. I would have hated to live in the state of NJ with that kid in the house. I have to admit that I am more apt to feel sorry for the parents. It is frustrating dealing with a kid who has a mind of his/her own and doesn't want to listen to a parent.

[knitter4democracy]

42. Maybe there are other issues?

When I taught in the Catholic schools, I had a few students whose parents were super controlling about college. I wonder if she wants that fund now because she wants to go to a school they don't approve of or something.

Chances are, though, it's about needing money to live on right now.

[avebury]

53. If you look at the pictures from the courtroom:

1) the girl looked smug to say the least
2) the parent looked like they were crying
3) the girl looked shocked when the judge ruled against giving her $650 a week living expenses

She was most likely spoiled growing up and that came back to haunt the parents when they finally decided to try to parent their daughter. It was probably way to late by that time. It certainly looks like a case of Generation Affluenza.

The parents have never said that they kicked her out. She has had several months with the busy body father of her friend who is financing her efforts to finish tearing her family apart (with plenty of time to coach her, after all he is an attorney from what I understand).

The judge is well aware of the impact that this case could have on families. I could easily see other spoiled brats pulling the same stunt to gain physical independence at the financial expense of their parents.

The girl is stupid to say the least. All she had to do was suck it up until she graduated, picked a college far enough from home to live on campus and she would gain the "freedom" she wants without ripping apart her family. But why act as a contributing member of your family if you can find a way to make your parents pay your living expenses to live elsewhere. The independent investigator did not find anything wrong with her parents and their home.

[knitter4democracy]

60. I found the pictures, and I don't see what you see.

I don't see smug. I see uncomfortable and trying not to cry during the hearing.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Microgalleries/2014/03/04/21511516.html#1

In earlier reports, her parents said that she chose to leave because she wouldn't stop dating a boyfriend they didn't like or respect their curfew. That's what all this is about.

Also, notice all the support she has in court--other parents, friends. If she were some brat as you and others here suggest, I doubt she'd have that much support.

[Jake Stern]

70. Having lots of supporters in the courtroom doesn't mean she's an angel

The repeat drunk driver who put my mom in the hospital had dozens of friends and family in the courtroom.

[knitter4democracy]

151. No, of course not, but it is evidence to consider.

If she's such a horrible, no-good, very bad teen, then why does she have support in her school community, her friends, and her friends' families?

[DebJ]

119. Maybe the boyfriend is a criminal, a druggie, or perhaps there are other

reasons and the parents are acting in her best interests. I have yet to see one person on DU mention
that in these threads.

[ScreamingMeemie]

125. People have brought up the fact that she has been busted for underage

drinking, suspended from school, etc.

[riderinthestorm]

144. +1. Also the "curfew" issues might not be so simple either.

I know firsthand from both....

[tammywammy]

146. The court documents are linked to in this thread.

The parents explain the curfew issues. The link has her and the parents responses.

[riderinthestorm]

148. Oh wow. Thanks for that. Just as I suspected, Rachel is clearly in the wrong

Boyfriend is real trouble, with enabling parents who actively assisted these kids with the drugs and drinking.

And the curfew violations?! These weren't just a few worrisome moments for her parents - this was hours and hours of waiting, then having their daughter delivered home dead drunk. The lying, stealing, school discipline issues, traffic violations, ugh.

Rachel's eating disorder is a huge red flag for me. She's got issues that are difficult to control alone without also compounding it with drugs and alcohol - a fact her parents point out with great pain.

That said, they really screwed up going away for a weekend and leaving Rachel in charge of her two younger sisters, especially after the previous couple of years of problems. Also the fact that the kids never had to do daily chores, ever, probably contributed to her sense of entitlement.

Anyway, thanks for posting this. An eye opener.

[knitter4democracy]

153. Eating disorders rarely develop in isolation.

It usually stems from a need to control something in an environment in which she feels little to no control. While eating disorders are amazingly and sadly common, they usually start at home.

The parents remind me of some parents I dealt with years ago when I taught their youngest. Amazing kid. If you talked with the parents, they were never at fault. They were martyrs, doing everything possible for their daughter. It was their daughter, that slut, that skank, that horrible child. *sighs* Daughter decided to live up to their opinion of her, and she's lost on the streets or with her pimp now.

[riderinthestorm]

167. Of course we don't have an inside look at their family but there's no denigration

indicated by the parents in any of the documents. Just deep concern.

But the messages from Rachel to her parents that are included with the documents? Eye popping, rude and utterly disgusting. Things like Rachel telling her mom she just wants to "shit all over your face right now".

I agree it takes two to tango but Rachel isn't some innocent here - she's pretty whacked. Stealing, lying, some pretty bad behavior at school that's irrefutable. Read the court documents and let me know what you think.

[knitter4democracy]

174. We'll have to agree to disagree on the reading.

Rachel has some serious allegations in her motion that the defendants never respond to at all. Red flag. Outing her private discipline files from school, going on and on about her behavior while trying to minimize their own behavior choices (if she were really so dang awful, why leave the state and leave her in charge?!?!)--red flag.

Her emails read like an angry teen who doesn't think those emails will go public. If you read through the emails, she started it by asking if she could come home. Her dad's response has quite the odd tone, and honestly, I thought it was an uncle or older brother until I looked at the name. That email is a red flag.

[riderinthestorm]

177. Both parents responded that the abuse allegations were false.

They also addressed the college cost allegation, the Morris Catholic school tuition payment issue, the attempt to resolve the issue with the Inglesinos etc. I'm not sure what you think they haven't addressed.

So you don't have a problem with the stealing, bringing alcohol to school events, being drunk at school events, coming home hours late etc.? I'm sorry but basically she seems to me to be really outraged at having to follow some pretty basic rules.

I thought the Dad's response was pretty measured all in all....

Okay, well agree to disagree then. I only saw red flags on HER end. She's a deeply troubled young woman imho. With serious issues.

[knitter4democracy]

181. I'm not saying she's not.

She obviously has some huge problems.

Dad got her drunk the first time to the point of puking and passing out--he doesn't deal with it or even mention it.

She denies the allegation of being drunk at the school event. I'm sure that will come out at trial. Either way, if she's really such a terrible, awful, no-good drunk of a kid, why leave the others in her care and take off to Vegas at Homecoming? That isn't smart.

[knitter4democracy]

152. Mostly due to R&J syndrome.

Telling a teen girl to dump her boyfriend rarely goes well for parents.

[smokey775]

136. She accused her parents of being abusive,

suggested that her father was inappropriate with her and her mother was verbally abusive,
CPS found the allegations to be unfounded and suggested that the parents spoiled her rotten.

The couple submitted letters to the court which state a Department of Children and Families investigation cleared them. Mrs Canning added: 'In fact, the case worker told us that it was in her opinion that we spoiled our daughter. We gave her too much'.

Mrs Canning added: 'She also told the worker that she had threatened suicide and my reaction was that I "high-fived" my husband. this was so outrageously offensive that it did not deserve to be addressed, but we gladly addressed it with the caseworker'.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2573165/My-mom-called-porky-dad-got-drunk-told-I-just-daughter-Explosive-claims-spoiled-cheerleader-18-suing-parents-support-ran-away.html#ixzz2v7KubYVV


She's nothing more than a spoiled little brat who got her ass handed to her in court and rightly so.

[bravenak]

47. They shouldn't hand it over now.

They should use it for her tuition and she should pay her room and board. I agree about the HS tuition, they signed the contract and put her in school, as long as her grades are good they should just finish paying it.

I would never hand over a college fund to an 18 year old kid and just trust them to spend it appropriately.

I also wouldn't pay her lawyers fees or her food and transport. NJ has public transportation and she'd could go home to eat.

Sound like they are jerks and she's a brat.

[avebury]

55. I would really like to know

what her two other siblings are like in comparison with her and what they would have to say about what is going on.

[bravenak]

58. I would too.

I almost passed out when I realized she wanted 650 a week.

[blueamy66]

90. The parents have said that she can have her college fund.

She was suing for $600 A WEEK in child support as well. $600 A WEEK.

She wasn't kicked out....she left.

I agree that the whole situation sucks, but she handled it the wrong way. Or her friend's parent, the attorney, handled it the wrong way.

[knitter4democracy]

12. The dad's final comment in the article is interesting.

Sounds like he's upset about the money--shouldn't he be upset about hurting his relationship with his kid?

We're not really getting the daughter's POV in any of the stories I've read. Direct quotes are all from the parents' side. The girl has a point--you don't put her in an expensive private school and then kick her out and refuse to pay the bill during her senior year. If she transfers to a public school at this point, she won't graduate on time due to credits being lost. That's screwing her over.

At this point, I don't care who's in the wrong. They're her parents, and yes, they should at least pay the school tuition, assure her that her college fund will be used for college, and do what they can to fix the relationship. Her friend's dad started the lawsuit because they're in violation of NJ law and he shouldn't have to pay for their daughter, from the sound of it.

Also, why are the parents painting their daughter in a negative light, sharing her discipline record at school--which is private for a reason? Why talk about that at all? She's their kid, and she's in the midst of hoping to hear back from colleges, and you can't tell me that this won't end up being a factor in which colleges accept her and which ones don't. The parents need to find a better way to handle this than smear their daughter in public.

[Logical]

14. They should pay the private school bill only because they signed a contract. Then tell........

the daughter to GTH. Sounds like a brat to me.

[knitter4democracy]

17. That's what the parents and their lawyers are making sure the story is.

Look, can an 18 year old know how to sue someone, how to find a lawyer, know exactly how to deal with the media and all without any advice from older adults? It's spin. She's a kid who's trying to survive, and honestly, I'll side with her until I hear any solidly good reason for her parents to entirely cut her off at a crucial point in her life.

[Logical]

18. Suing your parents is reason enough. n-t

[knitter4democracy]

20. The dad of the family she's living with is behind it.

He's a lawyer.

Does the 18 year old have the tuition money? No. If she transfers to a public school now, she won't graduate this spring. FASFA forms are due now, and she's hearing now which colleges are accepting her or not, so she needs to know what's going on with her college fund. They're refusing to give it to her over curfew and not liking her boyfriend?

I don't think that the problem is the 18 year old at this point.

[elias7]

72. and getting suspended twice from school and underage drinking and

losing her captaincy on the cheerleading squad and being kicked out of the campus ministry.......

It's not simply "curfew and not liking her boyfriend"

It is clear you've chosen her side with very little to go on. And others have chosen her parents' side, with similarly little basis as well.

I sense a little projection going on here...

[knitter4democracy]

155. No, I am a high school teacher.

As I've said in this thread repeatedly, I am almost always biased towards the kids. I've seen similar situations to this, and every time, the kid turned out to be telling the truth for the most part but no one believed it until much later.

All we know about her private discipline record the parents have told us. Personally, I find that disturbing.

[joeglow3]

76. Given the shit she has done that you glossed over, maybe the parents are right

Wouldn't be the first time someone starting dating someone who got them into a bad scene.

[Blue Diadem]

124. Court documents are available

Document link is available in this article:
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/03/04/nj-students-lawsuit-against-parents-headed-to-court/

Her parents had already paid the first semester, the girl said her friends were raising the rest. Her college fund has always been available to her, perhaps not for her 1st choice, a $50,000 plus yr school, but a reasonable amount towards her further education.

[Xyzse]

129. Thanks, I was trying to get more information.

[Drahthaardogs]

78. Good Reason number 1

Learning that there is such a thing as authority in this world is a great life lesson. You CAN DO whatever you want but you have to be willing to face theconsequences of those actions.

[seveneyes]

99. Trying to survive on $650.00 a week with all other expenses paid

The poor, broken adult child. Why not just have every 18 YO child extort $650.00/week from their parent(s)? What a wonderful bonding it would be.

[Beacool]

79. The daughter smeared them by claiming physical and psychological abuse.

[avebury]

92. I am curious about the girl's grades.

Since she obviously has not had to work during high school and has been able to focus on school I would hope that she could achieve grades that would help her to get some scholarships to help defray the cost of college.

People here can note the Dad's comment about his daughter picking a high end college and sending them the bill but let's remember one thing - the parents have THREE kids to get through college. That right there is a big financial commitment. We don't know the ages of the other 2 children. We also don't know if the younger 2 children are in private school. I have a friend who has her children in private school not be cause they are wealthy but because they want to get their kids the best grade school education they can. One child does not have the right to drain the family resources at the expense of the younger minor children who have just as much right to a decent education.

Her friend's father is an attorney who has inserted himself into what is a family matter. We don't know what impact his meddling has in making the situation worse. I have not heard of any effort to use family counseling to work things out. Instead the daughter went straight to court. Anybody that thinks that the parents will sit back and let her drag their names through the mud as unfit parents are crazy. None of her complaints seem to come even close to making the parents look cruel and draconian in their parenting techniques.

If this girl manages to win, in the long run, this case will have nasty reverberations throughout NJ for families with children. The judge seems to be well aware of that fact. He will think long an hard on any rulings he hands out.

[marshall]

98. That's not necessarily his final comment

It's the final quote that the writer chose to use.

[knitter4democracy]

156. True, but why even say that to a reporter?

Just sayin', it's an odd comment.

[JustAnotherGen]

111. I've seen her emails

And transcripts of VM's - I think they raised a monster . . .

[tammywammy]

117. Where did you see that? n/t

[ScreamingMeemie]

130. It is in the court documents

http://cbsnewyork.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/rachel-canning.pdf

The parents' defense begins on page 25. Followed by the emails, voicemails, etc.

She does seem like one tough little cookie from her emails and voicemails.

[tammywammy]

131. Thanks for the link! n/t

[JustAnotherGen]

134. Posted about it here

Yesterday!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4604465

Go to the link in that post - yesterday there were emails back and forth, manipulation of her dad and out right vileness (transcript of voice messages) to her mother.

[tammywammy]

137. I just finished reading the docs

Yeah....I have no sympathy for Rachel.

[ScreamingMeemie]

133. I just finished reading the court documents, and the people I find fault with are the parents

who took her in. This is an unfortunate (and yes, I think the girl is a monster with emotional issues that need to be dealt with) family situation that was spun out of control by the hand of the "sheltering" father. He is the reason why family law attorneys get bad names. It's my hope this family can somehow heal from all of this.

[hunter]

15. Parent support requirements for financial aid are fairly brutal...

... and favorable to wealthy parents who want to control their kids with money.

In our family the financial aid programs wouldn't believe our family was in deep, deep shit until our credit rating was gone and they had to fight the IRS and medical providers for money.

A truly first world nation would educate everyone to their maximum potential without leaving them, or their parents, in crushing debt.

I graduated from college without debt, with some post-graduate work too, even though I was a prickly fuck-up of the worst sort. (I was "asked" to leave college twice. Did not strike out on the third pitch, two hard knocks, I finally clued in.)

I like to believe I've since paid it all forward, but there is no way to do any final accounting.

For education "no debt" ought to be the way for everyone.

[TorchTheWitch]

21. then she can go back home and follow the damn rules for a few more months

The selfish ungrateful little shit. I hope her parents use every penny to pay for this evil suit out of the funds her PARENTS worked for to earn and benefit HER.

No matter how you slice it that money was earned by the sweat of the brows of her own parents in order to provide HER with advantages most people will never be able to bloody dream of. She's doing this to try to control her PARENTS by legally trying to force them to give her that money she didn't do a damn thing to earn just so she can do whatever the hell she wants. Boohoo that she has to do household chores and abide by her curfew when her parents are the ones footing her bills. What kid doesn't when they live off their parents?

Those photos alone should tell you everything one needs to know about that nasty ungrateful beast. She sits there looking like the belligerent shit she is while her PARENTS are the ones sobbing in court.

Fuck her and the pale horse she road in on.

[knitter4democracy]

26. So...children have to earn their parent's beneficence?

I looked at the photos, and I saw a kid in shock who was upset and didn't know how to handle it. Then again, I teach seniors most of the time and am used to dealing with them.

There are two stories here: she said they made her leave, and they're saying she chose to leave. Given they're the ones fighting in court for the right not to take care of their kid, her story has more credence.

[TorchTheWitch]

36. they aren't fighting in court for the right to not take care of her

What BS is this? SHE was the one to DRAG them into court by suing them. And she did it because she's an ungrateful selfish little shit that wants to do whatever the hell she wants while her parents foot the bill. And since turning 18 her parents are NOT obligated to take care of her. She was suspended from school, she refuses to abide by the rules of her PARENT'S home while living on THEIR largess so she left and unfortunately landed at a "friend's" house with a shitheaded father smelling money decided to poke his nose into a family disagreement and encourage her to sue them and take her case instead of telling her go home, abide by her parents' simple rules for a few more months and quit acting like a selfish little brat which is what he SHOULD have done.

You missed that tearless belligerent look on her face while her parents were both crying into their kleenex and the shock when she found out that gee, you don't get to have what you want in life all the time particularly when you never lifted a finger to earn it any of it.

Good on the judge for seeing through this little selfish monster.

[Lex]

37. So far you've called this kid a "beast" and "monster."

Kind of weird, imho.

[knitter4democracy]

39. Good catch.

Don't know what that's about.

[TorchTheWitch]

48. she is

Ungrateful little shit that had advantages most kids could never god-damn dream of handed to her yet sues her own parents for not giving her EVERYTHING she wants. Fuck her.

[Lex]

57. nope, sorry

she might be a ungrateful spoiled brat (raised by those parents, I might add) but she is not a "beast" or a "monster."

[knitter4democracy]

62. I'm thinking this reaction doesn't have much to do with her.

She's no monster, there's no reason to fuck her, and in all reality, we don't know about her real home life.

[laundry_queen]

101. +1

I'm not sure why so many people are frothing at the mouth over an 18 year old.

I'm a parent and I can't see ever doing something like that to my kid for such stupid reasons. I think there is something that must suck about her home life for it to get to this point. I always laugh at people who scream 'spoiled' about any kid who isn't kissing-their-parents-ass thankful for food and water. If that's how you feel about how a parent should take care of their kid then please don't have kids. Please. God please. Anyone with that attitude should never have kids.

[joeglow3]

106. And individuals like you are what we call enablers

I am a parent and would hate to ever have to do something like that. However, I recognize there are points where, as a parent, you need to cut the cord, in everyone's best interest (the kid who needs to correct the disruptive behavior, the spouse who you now have friction with, etc.).

There is no reason for you to go to extremes. Expecting a girl to not go out and illegally get drunk again and again, not get suspended from the school I spend thousands of dollars to send you to, etc. is FUCKING FAR from "expecting her to kiss their ass for food and water." Lets at least be intellectually honest in our discussions here.

[laundry_queen]

112. I still call bullshit

I'm not being intellectually dishonest. The sentiment has been there in all these threads. The sentiment is if 'precious' doesn't follow 'the almighty parents' rules they should be turfed out and fuck'em, the spoiled brat. If that's how people feel, then they should NEVER have kids. Ever.

And short of having a psychopathic child or one with severe substance abuse problems that was threatening the stability and safety of the rest of the family, I would NEVER fucking kick them out for 'not agreeing' with their choices. Your kids are not a fucking extension of YOU and that very notion is incredibly narcissistic in itself (and then we wonder why children end up that way). "Disruptive behavior" in the form of disagreeing with your kid's choices (as an 18 year old) is never a reason for a kid to get kicked out. And if you aren't prepared to HELP your child through life instead of control them through life (my way or the highway!) then you should never have kids.

BTW, my parents were controlling narcissistic assholes but even THEY would've never kicked me out for that. And I wasn't a 'good' kid in some ways (thanks to their over the top controlling ways, I rebelled, drank 'illegally' a lot, was boy-crazy, snuck out etc. I also got straight A's, volunteered and held down a job. If my parents would've kicked me out it would've fucked me up for life worse than the damage they already did.) I think kicking out a kid that's still in school is bad parenting and has nothing to do with 'enabling'. If you can't deal with the issues that come up with your kid without kicking them out then you shouldn't be a parent. Period.

[joeglow3]

114. It sounds like the parents want her to come back

She refuses to live there as they expect her live under her rules. She has every legal right to do that as well. The reason people are saying the things they are is because of how crazy it is that she exercises her right as an adult to leave, but then demands all the support and money of a child. THAT is the selfish, spoiled mentality of a 10 year old who wants to be given more trust, but doesn't want the responsibility.

And, it is all in how you define disruptive. My mother was an excessive worrier. If I was out partying every night, she would be up all night worrying. This would translate into dick for sleep and a fucked up work performance the next day. Not too long and that would translate into no job, no money, no food, etc. I consider that a pretty big disruption and I think you can take pre-emptive steps on that path without having to wait until you are in the soup-kitchen line.

[knitter4democracy]

38. Judge did no such thing. The ruling is just to keep everything the way it is.

Look, lawsuits are about a side putting forth a proposition, and the other side either agreeing to it or not, and then the negotiations start. If there is an impasse, it goes to the judge. Yes, her parents are fighting in court because, in all reality, they should have to pay her high school tuition (bill's in their names, not hers, and the contract is with them, not her). They could have agreed to that in the negotiations and taken that off the table, but they didn't. That's part of why it's in court now.

As for her suspension, we only know about it because Mommy and Daddy made sure to tell the press about it. What was it for? We don't know. How long? We don't know. When? We don't know. For all we know, it was for something like too many tardies (which can happen in the Catholic schools--I know, as I have taught in 3 now in my teaching career). Her parents smearing her in the press isn't going to help that relationship at all.

Their largess? They decided to have children, yes? Decided to send their daughter to a good, private school, yes? Decided to set money aside for her college, yes? That's not largess--that's taking care of your kid, the one you chose to have. Not liking her boyfriend (what apparently set this all off, according to both sides) doesn't make your daughter not exist or nullify your decision to have a child and take care of that child. Screwing over her future over a disagreement over a boyfriend is amazingly bad parenting.

NJ law seems clear about an 18 year old getting financial support until s/he graduates from high school, so yeah, it makes sense for her to ask for help until she graduates and can get the hell out of there.

[Lars39]

44. Not to mention that probably thru the years

the parents' verbal expectations if good grades so that she could go to college with funds promised her. FAFSA hell has that kid between a rock and a hard place. No time to emancipate if New Jersey law even allows it at her age. Just my 2 centavos.

[knitter4democracy]

46. Oh, you're right. She has to use them on her forms.

I'll bet they're withholding that, too.

[Lars39]

52. Yep. Witholding info like that could screw her over til she's 25

[Ikonoklast]

132. I thought people that wrote stuff like this were unhinged Authoritarians who do not take kindly

when those under their thumbs finally rebel.

Good thing you aren't one of them.

[Violet_Crumble]

41. I looked at the photos and she didn't looked shocked or upset...

Her parents were the only ones who looked upset.

Also, her parents aren't in court fighting for the right not to take care of her. They were fighting a frivolous lawsuit that demanded they care for an adult who had left the family home. And seeing they've said she can go home, I'm not really seeing what the problem is. When I was 18, still in high school, and living at home, I had to follow the rules my parents had for all four of us kids. I didn't like the rules, but I lived with them, and when I left school a few months later and got my first job, most of the rules got dropped, but the basic ones of respect and telling my parents if I wasn't coming home when I was out at night stayed....

[knitter4democracy]

43. Look at her eyes. She's holding it together barely.

Kid needs a hug, but I digress.

They are in court fighting for the right not to take care of her. They could have acquiesced on the school bill but are fighting it (don't see them winning that one, to be honest), and they're refusing to help her survive financially until graduation but instead making her friend's parents take care of her.

They keep saying she can come home, and she keeps refusing. Something tells me there's a darn good reason for her refusal to go home. Kids rarely let anything like this go this far without a really good reason. Maybe her parents never outright abused her, but it got bad enough that her friend's family was better.

[joeglow3]

77. Exactly which photos show her barely holding it together?

[knitter4democracy]

157. These

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-rt-us-usa-familyfeud-newjersey-20140304,0,6612381.story

[proudretiredvet]

85. Wait a minute.

They have no responsibility to take care of her. She is an adult who chose to leave her parents home.

[DebJ]

120. In most of the photos she is positively beaming.

I would imagine the frowning and shocked ones are from when the truth came out and
she didn't get her way.

[hunter]

59. As a parent, one owns up to the good and the bad, and it can't be about money.

We parents muddle through.

My mom had a slight tendency to manipulate with money but she's long past that now. I could still crash at my parent's house, crashing and burning, even exploding, if it ever comes to that.

My own kids are delightful. Second kid, as a teen, instigated a couple of late night calls from the police to pick up and sign off on but now is on way to graduate from college. First kid is well launched into the world, independent, with Significant Other, and very well on own.

I've one worrisome nephew in family but he may yet pull out of it. His great grandpa and a few other direct ancestors escaped equally bad situations.

My favorite ancestor-in-a-bad-place escaped European poverty and conflict as a mail order bride to Salt Lake City. She didn't much like sharing a husband so she ran off with a U.S. Government surveyor.

I think I'm on some Mormon blacklist for that.

Wild West Jewish and Catholic refugees who no longer wanted to play. That's how they became Wild West, by recognizing the "OH, SHIT, RUN!!!" moments.

Life happens.

[JimDandy]

108. Damn... little shit... evil... bloody... damn...

damn... hell... nasty.... beast... belligerent shit...

Fuck her...

Your language speaks more about you than this young lady you know nothing about except from a news article.

[avebury]

40. What the judge had to say:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/n-judge-denies-teen-request-funds-suit-parents-article-1.1710802

Morristown Superior Court Judge Peter Bogaard appears to have agreed with an independent investigators' assessment of the home atmosphere: that the high school cheerleader and lacrosse player is “spoiled.”

"Do we want to establish a precedent where parents live in basic fear of establishing rules of the house?" Bogaard asked when denying an emergency order that would have entitled the teen to $650 a week in child support and would have required the parents to pay for the girl’s private school tuition.

[knitter4democracy]

45. Not exactly a professional choice of words.

That quote's stuck out in this story, too. I have never heard of an FOC investigator using such a loaded term, and it makes me wonder at it.

Now, granted, there's a lot we don't know and I'm usually biased in favor of teens due to my job as a teacher, but I've seen too many teens railroaded by the system to entirely trust it.

[bravenak]

61. She may have overdone it by asking for so much money.

If a kid showed up in my courtroom ( if I were a judge) demanding 650 a week I would think that kid had lost their mind. I barely made more than that a week by a hundred dollars at one of my last jobs and I had to support myself and my child on that and pay daycare and rent.

Seems like her parents are going to pay for her school, they just won't turn the money over to her personally. I wouldn't either if she was asking for so much money, I'd be scared she'd spend it all and not have enough left to finish school. 2600 bucks a month is an obscene amount of money for a kid to expect her parents give her for room and board while in high school.

[knitter4democracy]

63. You can't ask for random numbers in court, though.

There are worksheets you have to fill out, and every one of your numbers is scrutinized. Her lawyers wouldn't put that number forward if they can't make a case for it.

I'm betting that's for paying rent on her on in NJ. Rent would take two of those checks, right, leaving the rest for everything else?

[bravenak]

66. She is staying with a friend whose parents do not need her assistance paying their mortgage.

And at her age why should they be forced to pay for a separate domicile for her when they have 2 other children to support who are minors at this time, and she has a room at home that is hers for the taking. If she doesn't want to share their home with them and follow the rules set forth by the heads of household, she is at an age where she may emancipate herself from them and work to pay for her own separate domicile at her own expense. For her to take nearly 3000 per month from the household is unfair to the minor children still residing in the home and may take money needed to provide for their college funds. They are also important and needier than the adult child.
Minor children and younger children need more support financially as they are not legally able to work and contribute to their own maintenance. I would never spend money on a grown child that I may need for my minor children in the future. The judge made the proper decision in this case.
Going forward she'd better be able to articulate a good reason to take from the family household funds, solely for her use alone. Sounds like she has been getting advice from the lawyer and he sounds very expensive. She just may end up using her entire college fund to pay her legal fees.

[knitter4democracy]

67. I'm betting they're saying she can't stay at the friend's house.

The money's most likely based on her moving toward emancipation, which means moving out on her own and needing help until she gets a job or goes to college, whichever comes first.

When it comes to support, the court takes it all into account, the minors still at home, etc. I'm sure the judge has some formula he has to follow. They do here in Michigan.

[bravenak]

69. I might do her some good to work for a while

It's a tradition in my family to get a job the day you turn 16, just to learn how hard it us to make a dollar.

Once I was working I realized how easy I had it before I started working. My sense of entitlement disappeared. And I only saw my boyfriend at school or on the weekend if I had time for him.

I remember a girl like her who decided to leave home because of rules and they hated her goth boyfriend. She ended up at covenant house pregnant as hell living off of food stamps and bus tokens. She finally went home when he left her for some gothier chick, and her parents took custody so she could go off out of state to college. They were right about him the whole time, but she had to experience some hard times in order to see how good her life was. The second she was ready to come home, they were waiting for her, open arms.

I think she will go home.

[treestar]

105. Judges have to apply the law

They do not get to just do what they think best, or what they want. They have to at least base their decisions on the law. It is merely of case of does NJ have a law that would back requiring the parents to pay or not, and if so, what are the basis for requiring it in the law.

If divorced parents can be required to provide child support through college in NJ, then it is a fair question that intact families might have to. A lot of the college support statutes were found unconstitutional because it burdened parents who happened to be divorced with a requirement intact families did not have.

[Drahthaardogs]

81. Are you hinting that the judge and investigator were tainted?

Seriously?

[knitter4democracy]

159. No, not at all. They might have biases, though.

I've dealt with family law judges, both as a child, as a teacher of high school students, and in fighting to protect my own children. I have found that many in the system get jaded right quick, and they tend to bring their biases into the situation.

Seriously, it's a very loaded word.

[treestar]

104. Sounds like a layperson

Where is he quoting statute and case law to back the decision?

[Mariana]

123. It was the father that said that.

The father said the investigator found that she was "spoiled".

[AnnieBW]

51. Become an Emancipated Minor

She's paid all of that money in lawyer's fees to sue her parents. Why doesn't she just become an emancipated minor? She would be eligible for grants and scholarships for low-income students, plus get more financial aid.

[knitter4democracy]

64. Apparently, it wouldn't apply to this year's FASFA.

I'm betting that's why.

[riderinthestorm]

68. Just a heads up its FAFSA

I know since I just waded through it for my teen

[knitter4democracy]

160. Blargh. Sorry about that.

I know--I still have to get mine in.

[riderinthestorm]

168. Its awful. I hate financial stuff. Hang in there!

[knitter4democracy]

173. Me, too! Thanks.

Stupid grad school needing stupid loans for the rest of my life...

[HockeyMom]

96. She cannot be an Emancipated Minor at 18

That is the problem.

[cherokeeprogressive]

75. Well, fucking OBVIOUSLY... the Judge didn't hear BOTH sides of the story.

Wait... wut?

He's a SEXIST judge!

[DiverDave]

89. Parenting fail

unleashing another spoiled, narcissistic child onto the rest of us.
Goes to show what happens when you throw money at kids instead of love.

[HockeyMom]

93. She has only 3 months until she graduates High School

That is the most important thing, and should be. Her parents shouldn't be under any obligation for her after graduation. So she drops of high school? That is fine with most of you? If the majority of kids don't turn 18 in Senior year, this would not be an issue.

Becoming an "adult" while still in high school creates a lot of problems, not just this one. Remember that lesbian Senior and her underage girlfriend? You don't think that happens more often then not? Sorry, you are now an adult and you cannot date anyone in high school who isn't also 18?

I graduated high school very young. My older daughter did also, but my younger daughter turned 18 in her Senior year. I saw the problems with that with her. She dated an underage boy. Oh, no. The military also kept trying to recruit her and would not take NO from me. My Do Not Call meant nothing once she became an adult. Yes, she told them NO, but it was MY HOME they were calling.

I know that schools are now pushing that children start school at older ages. Well, down the line that means more problems with "adults" as high school students.

[joeglow3]

107. Actually, almost all states have a window of accepted ages

It is not like you are 17 years, 364 days and it is cool to be with your partner who is 17 years, 363 days old. Then the next day it is illegal and the next, it is legal again. In your case, it was 4 fucking years difference. Sorry, but most of us consider an 18 year having sex with a 14 year old to be justly illegal, regardless of the genders involved.

[HockeyMom]

113. Two kids both in Hgh School?

There was a 3 year age with the boy my daughter "dated" in high school. They weren't having sex BUT would every parent believe that? She started dating him when he was 14 year old Freshman and she was a 17 Junior. still when she turned 18 in her Senior year. The boy's Dad thought it was great his son was seeing a older woman. lol They both said they were just friends, but his Dad didn't believe it. Didn't WANT to believe it. Macho son? They continued to see each other when when she was in college and he still in high school. Oh, NO!

I believed my daughter. I also had other reasons to believe her. John had a very long talk with my older (lesbian) daughter. She thought he was trying to tell her that he was GAY. That was my feeling also, no matter what his Dad thought. John came out in college and was married in NY when Marriage Equality became the law. His father does not talk to him today.

Two sides to every story, so to speak. Not good to jump to conclusions. John was a nice kid, and that is his Dad's loss. Perhaps the solution is to go back to the idea of Junior High (7-9) so these young kids cannot date "adult" High School Seniors.

[joeglow3]

115. As a parent, if you think the mental maturities of 14 & 18 yr olds are close, we have to disagree

In the case you referenced, it was CLEAR there was mental manipulation on the part of the older kid, consistent with what one would see between the mental maturities of a 14 & 18 year old.

[Captain Stern]

95. I never read that the parents actually said they wouldn't give her the college money.

It sounds like she's just assuming they won't, since they aren't paying the spring tuition at high school.

If I were the parents, I wouldn't feel morally obligated to give here a dime if she moved out on her own.

[ScreamingMeemie]

126. They have said the college fund is still there. They have said she is welcome to move back

home. This is messed up all the way around.

[exboyfil]

97. Age of majority used to be 21

Before 1972, most states followed the common-law rule that an individual reached majority at the age of twenty-one.

http://www.law.uiowa.edu/documents/ilr/huitink.pdf

See id. (“At common law the time one became of age was twenty-one.” (citing 42 AM.
JUR. 2D Infants § 5, at 16 (2000))); Kathleen Conrey Horan, Post-Minority Support for College
Education—A Legally Enforceable Obligation in Divorce Proceedings?, 18 N.M. L. REV. 153, 155
(1988).

On the other hand you would have gotten far less traction for a child arguing that parent is obligated to pay for college. I think the obligation should only extend good, shelter, and clothing. As far as helping for college can anyone but the truly wealthy really help their children without risking their own retirement in today's age. The potential of large healthcare expenditures in the future especially long term care for example.

The rules about majority are really in place to protect the state.

[HockeyMom]

109. I moved out at 17 in 1966

However, I had graduated high school and had job skills. I went to work for a large private university as a secretary, which paid me a living wage, health benefits, and FREE college tuition (why I applied there). I worked days and went to college at night. No, I could not sign a lease agreement at 17, but I sublet from an older friend who went back to the UK on a sabbatical. So my parents could have kept me from doing this since I was still a Minor for another 4 years? I should have gone to court to be declared an Emancipated Minor? If anyone had told me what I was doing was ILLEGAL and that my parents could/MUST control my life and still live under their roof, I would have laughed. Actually, my parents would have laughed also. I would bet even a judge would laugh about that situation. My parents didn't say boo about me moving out at 17 because they knew it was time to let me go, even if I wasn't legally an adult yet.

As I said on another post, I think it is a very bad idea having kids turn 18 while still in high school. Creates far too many of these probelms.

[marshall]

100. How long before this is an episode of Law and Order?

And what crime will they wrap it up in?

[NCTraveler]

103. I don't think either side is giving enough information to determine if it is a good ruling or not.

I think this is a situation where not enough is known. I don't get where the daughter has any standing with respect to the parents and the school contract. Wouldn't the school have to bring the case for breach of contract? Both side are giving very little information. Just what they want people to see.

[Crabby Appleton]

139. There is a lot of information is in the court filings

http://cbsnewyork.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/rachel-canning.pdf

[bluestateguy]

127. This is a frivilous suit

Don't overcomplexify if with legal gobledygook. You can rationalize away just about any lawsuit, with parsing nuances and technicalities.

Sometimes you just have to blow past all that in favor of god old fashioned American common sense.

[HockeyMom]

141. A self-supporting MINOR should be able to come and go as they please

I paid my parents rent at 17 after I graduated HS from my full time job. They didn't DARE set a curfew for me when I was paying them money to live there. Until I found my own place, I was courteous to them to let them know when I wouldn't be at dinner, or even come home for the night. I was like a BORDER paying rent. My own daughter did the same at 17 after HS.

I guess most parents today don't like this, but I am 65 years old and my daughter is now 35 year old. LET THEM GO, and stop using LAW to control their lives.

I am very happy I am not a young person today. Actually I, and my daughter, had a better relationship AFTER moving out at 17.

[Jenoch]

154. Where did you get the idea that this teen is self-supporting?

[HockeyMom]

158. No, she isn't but she hasn't graduated from HS yet

once she does, she is on her own to find whatever way she can. Again, this is the major probem with becoming an "adult" still being in high school.

Again, I get the feeling that most people on here would still have a problem with an adult self supporting child living at home. They would still try to control them.

[Jenoch]

166. I don't get that vibe.

How is an adult child living with their parents self-supporting?

I think your own issues with your parents are affecting your point of view. Most children do not automatically move out of their parents' house when they become 18 years old.

[kiva]

162. This young woman is trying to have it both ways.

She wants the freedom to do whatever she wants, but thinks her parents should pay for her private school, pay for her college, and support her to the tune of $650 per week...what part of that is "self-supporting"?

[riderinthestorm]

170. Did you read the court docs? She's got substance abuse issues, a serious disease

(bulemia and anorexia). Has never had to participate in chores...

I mean if you read the court docs (amazingly easy to get through actually) its pretty clear she's not capable of being independent. Not at all.

[knitter4democracy]

172. From the court docs, some interesting points:

1. The school reported the parents after directly observing neglectful behavior (parents in Las Vegas when daughter was at Homecoming dance). The conflict seems to stem from that.

2. The plaintiff was told not to go back home by her therapist and school officials.

3. She does have a job and has actually held more than one.

4. The issues with her parents are massive (separation, arguing in front of plaintiff, dad getting her drunk at a wedding and telling people she was his date...).

5. In the parents' response, they say that the Child and Protective Services charge came from her lying about being abused, but in the Plaintiff's motion, she clearly states the name of the teacher who called it in over neglect, not abuse. They don't answer that.

6. The parents' response keeps saying that they just wanted to impose fair rules, but I don't see where they're responding to some of the more severe allegations of inappropriate behavior and problems in the home. They just call her rebellious and move on--that's a red flag.

7. The parents repeatedly argue that they should not pay for anything to do with college because they were not consulted about it. Interesting.

8. The parents' main response (before the fact-finding responses) just repeats a generalized story over and over with "rules" cited but not made clear as to what they are.

In my personal experience in reading many, many court documents, the Plaintiff has laid out a case with witnesses listed and specifics given. The Defendants have responded with a very emotional response (though they then cite many legal case precedents) with few specifics and entire areas of the motion ignored. Honestly, this case is a mess. The young woman has screwed up big-time, sure, but it sounds like she's had good examples in that in her parents.

[tammywammy]

175. the rules were listed.

No drugs, no drinking, obey the curfew, get good grades.

Also the CPS letter states it was for abuse/neglect and ruled unfounded.

[knitter4democracy]

176. Like I said, it wasn't in the main response to the motion.

It's in the fact-finding part, but even then, there are major parts missing.

The parents make a big deal about her drinking but never address the allegation that the dad was the one who first got her drunk to the point of puking and passing out at a wedding after telling everyone that she was his date. The mother's reaction the allegations about an inappropriate relationship with dad is highly emotional, but then the email attached to her response backs up the daughter's allegation in that the tone is definitely not that of an authoritarian father. Add in the mother's allegations that the daughter wanted her parents to get divorced so she could live with her dad....yeah, that's messed up.

[Logical]

179. And I counter with, she is 18 and they can kick her out! nt

[knitter4democracy]

180. They can, but NJ law seems to say there are consequences.

We'll see what happens.

[brooklynite]

182. I have a unique opinion...I don't care

This appears to be a dysfunctional family, and the resolution of their situation has no bearing on the lives of anyone else.