DU: Do you think parents should edit the media their young kids are exposed to?

[elehhhhna]

Because some of us think not. Help me out here.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024658441#post23

post 8 is where the fun starts

[one_voice]

1. I think it's up to...

the parents. Parents and children are not one size fits all.

For instance; I was pretty lax in what my kids saw on the tv & what I talked about in front of them. I let them watch movies, tv shows etc with violence, drugs etc, especially the ones that showed the 'bad side of those things'. I did regulate sex when they were young.

The fact they saw those things didn't have a negative effect on them, quite the opposite in fact.

This wouldn't be the case for all children. I think the parents role in them viewing/seeing such things is very important.

My kids asked questions and were very thoughtful about such things.

I don't think it's a right or wrong answer, but rather what you (the collective) as a parent feels is best for your children.

I know kids that I'd never let watch those things.






***before anyone tells me what a shitty parent I am, both my kids are college graduates, one with their masters the other getting his now. They both do volunteer work and have never ever been in any trouble.

[unblock]

2. some filtering, certainly; but more important is putting in proper context.

we recently downloaded for mini-unblock (age 7) ipad app rated appropriate for ages 4+.

well, it most certainly wasn't, as it had a video that included some very foul language and, worse, insults, including some sexist and homophobic.

our first instinct was to delete the app but of course he pitched a fit, and as we had said he could have it (before we know the rating was a lie) we thought it would be worse to have gone back on our word.

so we made a deal, that he could only watch the app with us present, and we would point out the bad words and explain that he could upset other people if he used those words or said those insults and so on.


i think most parents get that a proper explanation is the best solution, but what gets them upset is that they aren't ready with the proper explanation when their kid is suddenly (surprise!) hit with a social taboo. but once we calmed down, discussed it as parents, and did a little googling about it, we worked it out nicely. so far, so good.

[LittleBlue]

3. 20 years ago I might have said "yes"

But it's now the age of the internet where anything and everything can be found online. And where the kids are too smart for filtering programs, not to mention having cellphones.

When my wife and I have kids, I'm still not sure what we'll do. Assuming there is anything we can do.

[Brickbat]

4. Nothing has changed about saying "no."

It's your house, your computer, your internet line. You regulate it.

[LittleBlue]

5. Yes, that's true

But how do I stop them from using their cellphones? How can I enforce the rules when they learn about proxies? It would require me to monitor every browsing session they have in my house, and I want my kids to have a free childhood like I did. I don't want to make them feel like parolees with ankle bracelets, or to feel anxiety at having no privacy.

It's something I've thought about for a while now and I hope to strike a good balance once the time comes. The truth though is that I can't stop kids from seeing something they really want to see, not in this age.

[JVS]

7. Did they just create these cellphones from thin air?

Part of it is limiting access to technology. Another part is talking to them and explaining why you don't want them to watch some things.

[Brickbat]

8. Why have you given them a cellphone?

They should feel a little anxiety, actually -- there's no such thing as private browsing unless they own the computer and are paying for the internet access themselves -- and even then, nothing's REALLY private. They need to learn that -- what better place than at home, with people who can guide them?

It's true, they'll find what they want eventually -- that doesn't mean you have to shrug your shoulders and give them the tools before they're really ready.

[LittleBlue]

10. I thought the same thing until I saw my friend's kid with a cellphone

They're lost without it. In my childhood, we had payphones. Those things are disappearing. The kid forgets her lunch? Gym clothes? She missed the bus? She's going to a friend's house? Cell phones make this sort of thing much easier than when I was a kid and had to phone through the office.

It comforts him and his wife that they can reach their child anytime and, if something really goes wrong, track her.

[Brickbat]

14. I'll admit it, I totally judge parents who give their kids cell phones to deal with forgotten

lunches and gym clothes. The school secretary has a phone, and if they can't use it, they can deal with the consequences for a day.

Not having a phone, frankly, makes kids plan the way their parents did -- way in advance, instead of making plans on the instant.

[Nevernose]

29. Those are easy problems

Don't give them cell phones until they're of an age that eye see that stuff in school anyway (eighth grade, in most cases), and put the computer in a public area of the house.

More importantly, have the important conversations about sex and drugs and violence when they're young, and have those conversations repeatedly. If you raise a kid with good values, those values won't go away because they're on the Internet.

[JVS]

6. Of course they should. The counterpart to being able to find everything on the internet is that...

you might want to limit your kids' access to the internet. It's a parent's job to make sure their kid doesn't start out looking for scooby doo videos and end up watching someone engaged in coitus with a dog.

[FarCenter]

9. Yes -- for example, they should not see fictional representations of criminal acts.

Video of actual criminal acts is OK.

[Cleita]

11. I would think that parents would want to protect

children from age inappropriate content, but today I don't know how you would when everything is out there and available. I'm happy not to be a parent in this day and age.

[functioning_cog]

12. Of course parents should. It is parents' call as to when something

Is age appropriate. How is this even a question?

[elehhhhna]

15. go to the link in the OP and you will see how it's a question.

[functioning_cog]

20. I did. I may go again to post, but it's silly that

Anyone thinks parents don't have that right is smoking something. Parents have an interest in trying to influence the environment around them as well. There are many effective eways to raise awareness about inhuman treatment of other humans without subjecting children to shocking and over the top images.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

13. Well, children's brains are not developed. They shouldn't be exposed to violence if it can be

avoided. After all, children need a little peace. I think, however, they shouldn't be lied to outright about current events and history, and there are always ways of saying things to kids without outright lying. Seems to me from what I've experienced, that Republicans are into lying and whitewashing history even among themselves, so they would tend to lie to their children, seldom telling them the truth, to make them into good little Republicans. That's the basis for all the Republican censorship of schoolbooks.

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2010/1001.blake.html

On the other hand, kids can be taught to think.

I taught social studies for a little while (among other things), and one of the assignments I gave middle schoolers was a project involving commercials and ads. The project involved selecting a commercial or an advertisement, analyzing it, and reporting as to whether the message appeared honest and truthful, and whether one could determine by the message of the ad/commercial and the photos, video alone if what they said about the product could be true, whether more information might be required to determine that, what sort of information might be needed to know that, and to give their personal opinion of the product.

I figured this would help them realize that they could question what they heard, watched, or read, be it a commercial, or pure BS from the MSM. I left the projects pretty much up to them and was awed by the ideas, reports and presentations out of those middle schoolers.

I think lessons of that sort help kids analyze, discern and think about what they watch and read.

[KoKo]

19. I agree with you on this...the Little Ones need Peace and exposure to Nature...and Quiet

and then to try to judge by age and temperament...as one goes along.

Then as they get older engage in Discussion about points of view about what they are hearing and seeing and what conflicts them..gives them nightmares or UPLIFTS them that Engages their Curiosity and sense of WONDER.

ENGAGE.....but, back off when they need space...but still peace from too much CNN/Whatever for CREATIVE TIME...when the minds wander and creativity is born.

That's my view for what it's worth.

[hunter]

16. I had an entirely feral childhood, so I dunno.

I find most commercial advertising offensive and my own kids were exposed to minimal amounts of that.

These signs wouldn't have bothered me. Explain the world, good, bad, or ugly, and move on. It's part of parenting.

I do have a funny story. We visited Las Vegas when my youngest kid was six. It was later in the evening and we were walking back to our hotel after a fairly "family friendly" magic show. (Las Vegas was experimenting with Disneyfication at the time.) On the sidewalk there was a somewhat stoned and tired looking guy handing out advertising cards. My kid took one of the cards and the guy tried to take it back and my kid screamed bloody murder,

"HEY! That's MINE! You gave it to me!"

The guy handing out the cards ran off.

My kid had grabbed a rather explicit advertisement for escorts, full color glossy multi-racial nudity! We didn't make any big deal of it and our kids didn't. The pavement was already littered with similar advertising, so kid dropped the card in the next trash.

Our kids have been to Las Vegas as adults since, on their own with friends or Significant Others and I'm pretty sure they haven't hired any hookers, nor were they surprised to see them advertising.

I've always figured it's the kids who have never been exposed to anything who get into the most trouble.

[roody]

17. Of course. That's why they're called parents.

[ohheckyeah]

18. I think parents should edit the media their

young kids are exposed to, BUT you can't edit everything that appears in public. The whole world isn't going to keep everything at an age 3 appropriate level and if you expect that, I think it is an unreasonable expectation.

[KoKo]

27. You can't insulate them from what their Faux Parents Friends are telling them...for Sure...

But...if they are really best friends with the Fox Friends...invite the kids over..and see what happens. Try to give good food and let them roam...then ask your kid what he thinks.

Sometimes if the kids are early teens ...engaging in conversation with their friends over food is a good way to see what it's about...and figure out what your kid sees from the friendship.

After they hit around 13 they are on their own to make their way......It's before then that counts the most ...if one can. Kids will always follow their own Stars...the determined ones. The sensitive ones need more care...and time. IMHO...for my experiences in life...

[XemaSab]

21. About the Amnesty International ads

I think it's good for kids to get the message that violence isn't fun or entertaining.

Parents who are "concerned" about those ads seem to be more worried about having a tough conversation with their kid than they are about little Suzy seeing a guy with a knife.

[CBGLuthier]

22. We never worried about any it and all three have grown up OK.

I am sure they saw inappropriate things. It is a rather inappropriate world at times.

[surrealAmerican]

23. How young are we talking about here?

I think any "screen time" for a child less than three years old is to be avoided, but by the time the child is twelve, they ought to have some familiarity with television, internet, movies, etc. in order to understand the world around them.


You, as a parent, should know what your child is watching, and be prepared to discuss it with them - whether it's media you "approve of" or not.

[TheKentuckian]

24. I think if said parents insist that content be edited for their children they should do it for their

house instead of going for it at the source.

[Tom Ripley]

25. Age? Type of media? Content?

[REP]

26. Keep your child safe from the world; don't expect the world to be made safe for your child

You control what happens in your home, but not in the world around us. Amnesty shouldn't be expected to tailor its campaign to possibility that an adult will be uncomfortable explaining it to a child; that's the same logic used by homophobes to try to ban equal marriage and Pride events. Don't be like them.

[irisblue]

28. you created those kids, your job.

If you are not ready to be a parent, do not get a pregnancy going. Use birth control. 99.5% of the rest of the world are not interested in you kid and access to all/many types of information/media. This is YOUR job, you chose to bring the kid here,the rest of us didn't ask.