Bill Kristol: "Invading Ukraine Will Be Quick and Painless"

[MannyGoldstein]

Invading Ukraine Will Be Quick and Painless
By Bill Kristol

As I write this, the United States is facing the greatest foreign crisis in our entire history: a showdown between pro-America Ukraine and Vladimir Putin’s pro-evil Russia.

It’s a greater crisis than Syria, Libya, Iran, North Korea, Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Pakistan, China, Georgia, Somalia, Burma, Venezuela, Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and Palestine. Well, maybe not all those places, but pretty damn close.

While President Obama sits on his hands and waits for diplomats to take care of things, Putin plays chess with the world as an arrogant, belligerent bully, interfering in other countries and demanding their leaders and people act however he wants them to act. Where does he get the nerve?

That’s why we as Americans need to stand united together and send a message that we’re not going to allow Putin’s aggression, and if necessary we will intervene in Ukraine with the military or otherwise -- but preferably with the military.

Relax, the Daily Current is parody.

[djean111]

1. Yes, the Ukrainian people will throw flowers.

"plays chess with the world as an arrogant, belligerent bully, interfering in other countries and demanding their leaders and people act however he wants them to act. Where does he get the nerve?"
Bwahahaha! Sorry, I am no Putin admirer, but still, the irony.....

[sabrina 1]

48. And candy, and it will ' only take months, weeks maybe' and it will not cost the American people

more than at the most, $40 billion.

Well, now we know for sure who is driving all of this.

I hope he will be signing up to lead the troops in that little battle, or at least his family members. Considering it is such a threat to the US and all, all those chicken hawk patriots need to get ready to go fight for their country.

[djean111]

49. I do see that the article is satire - but I do think that Krystol would agree whole-heartedly

with it.

[sabrina 1]

50. Lol, it's hard to tell satire from what passes for fact these days. A while ago I

decided to try to find another of the neocon war mongerers, the one who adored Machiavelli, Michael Ledeen. I found him writing on his blog about Syria. He hasn't changed, war, invasions etc are the ONLY way to go, to shorten what we could expect from these war criminals.

And that wasn't satire, it was the same old Ledeen. Lol!

[nilesobek]

54. That silk suited lizard mouth Kristol

has gone over the delusional edge. I'd like to know when the last time Kristol had to perform a strenuous manual labor task. Kristol doesn't have to dig the rifle pits, he doesn't have to carry the weapons and ammo, he just sits on his faux ivory throne issuing edicts.

I don't actually know much about this clown but its my guess he wouldn't last long in work camp.

Btw you are very well spoken.

[Loudly]

2. That boy has cried wolf far too many times.

Ha, satire. Got me.

[littlewolf]

25. got me too .... first thing I thought of was throwing flowers. nt

[el_bryanto]

3. Is it just me or does that read as parody?

On reading the article; it's definitely parody.

Bill Kristol is a neoconservative hawk whose political and military expertise comes from playing countless games of “Risk” in college.

Pretty good parody though.

Bryant

[MannyGoldstein]

7. Yep.

I just added a disclaimer at the end.

[JustAnotherGen]

4. This is satire?

Truly quite sad that Bill Kristol COULD really have written this.

[tblue37]

5. In our "entire history," Bill? REALLY?

ON EDIT: Apparently we just got "Poed." The fact that Poe works so well is evidence of RW insanity.

(I should have read the article rather than just the excerpt in the OP. The Poe becomes more obvious as the article progresses.)

[SomethingFishy]

6. Shit my bad... parody..

Although when he was on Bill Mahr he was pushing the military idea...

[Benton D Struckcheon]

8. Almost had me.

Kristol can't be that stupid can he? I thought at first.
Almost believable. Like Maddow said, it's an actual shame this guy still appears as some sort of expert on the news.

[BeyondGeography]

9. This one's pretty good as well

http://dailycurrant.com/2014/03/18/putin-tops-2016-republican-poll/

[MannyGoldstein]

10. Ukraine Deploys Gay Men to Scare Off Russians

http://dailycurrant.com/2014/03/07/ukraine-deploys-gay-men-to-scare-off-russians/

[BeyondGeography]

12. DiFi's asylum request...

Lots of fun here.

[7962]

15. You know, that just might work!

[TBF]

11. I am only for this if he is the

general in charge.

We've got to have someone on here capable of making the photoshop of Kristol marching off to war. Somehow I think he may be a one-man show.

[uriel1972]

14. Not the general, the first soldier to set foot in the country...

The first on the front lines. As a general he would be a total disaster. As the first foot soldier, he might learn something about the military option.

[TBF]

17. Agree - I want him to be the first

in line marching in. I assumed there would be a leader marching in but what you say makes more sense. We are definitely in agreement.

[chrisa]

13. What's funny is that crazy satire is indistinguishable from Kristol's braindead ramblings.

[Jim__]

16. "Bill Kristol is a neoconservative hawk whose political and military expertise comes from ...

... playing countless games of “Risk” in college."

He definitely has that part right.

[malaise]

18. Same as Iraq

This time though send Kristol, Rumsfeld, Cheney and Bush.

Still this is my favorite line
Putin plays chess with the world as an arrogant, belligerent bully, interfering in other countries and demanding their leaders and people act however he wants them to act. Where does he get the nerve?

Bwaaaaaaaaah! Go figure idiot!!

There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices, more shocking and bloody, than are the people of these United States, at this very hour.
Go where you may, search where you will, roam through all the monarchies and despotisms of the old world, travel through South America, search out every abuse, and when you have found the last, lay your facts by the side of the everyday practices of this nation, and you will say with me, that, for revolting barbarity and shameless hypocrisy, America reigns without a rival.
Frederick Douglass
July 5, 1852

What to the Slave is the 4th July
http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/what-to-the-slave-is-the-fourth-of-july/

Please send this to Kristol

[catbyte]

19. Isn't that what that moran said about Iraq?

Insert colossal eye roll here...

[nxylas]

20. The disclaimer should have read...

"This article is parody, Just."

[zeemike]

21. I knew it was satire right away

He is too slick to actually say clearly what he means...

[ctsnowman]

22. Excellent!

[reformist2]

23. It's crazy how close the parody is to the real thing.

[newfie11]

24. What planet does he live on

Always easy to sit back and tell others to fight in a war. I think we should sent a military of 1 to fight his war. He is it.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

26. Bad headline. Many people will read only the headline and read no further.

The headline is a lie.

I know Bill Kristol is a dangerous war-monger, but our side doesn't need to distort the truth. Yes, it is parody, but the headline is bald and unadorned with any caveats. I almost didn't read further, but I couldn't quite believe it, even for Bill Kristol.

[progressoid]

27. This parody isn't so far from the truth.

[liberal N proud]

28. These tools make every crisis the greatest ever.

Their rhetoric should not be considered with any value.

[AAO]

29. We will be greeted as liberators? Just like last time??? Right!!!! Go invade Billy-boy.

OK - its a parody, but a damn true to like one!

[Pennie109]

30. Anyone who mentions military force

should be the first in line to fight. Bill Kristol and his neocon friends can lead the way.

I'm tired of these people wanting to go to war and then sit back and criticize everything while the men and women who actually have to serve die or suffer horrible injuries.

I'm sick of these people.

[Sanity Claws]

31. I heard this song before

[iandhr]

32. The line between satire and reality is getting blurred often these days.

[Thinkingabout]

33. Hey, to listen to some of the remarks coming from the GOP side, they have big heads but

still not very smart. Putin is realizing his life needs to get his "ideas" completed before the end of his life. I hope he has failed crops.

[Turbineguy]

34. Only if

he gets shot first.

[Doctor_J]

35. They just copied and pasted his Iraq predictions

Why does this dude still have a job?

[Reter]

36. Well, death from thermonuclear war can be painless if you're near the point of impact

But seriously, can someone who's interviewing this guy please ask him why he loves war so much? He consistantly takes a pro-war stance on all of them, even when his own party opposes it (Libya, Syria).

[mountain grammy]

37. If it walks like Kristol and talks like Kristol, it's Kristol..

It may be satire, but it's very close to Kristol truth.

[The Wizard]

38. Kristol needs time

in a rehab.

[librechik]

39. too soon n/t

[jwirr]

40. I take it that he is voluteering to take all his supporters and do the job?

[Jack Rabbit]

53. Heavens, no.

Kristol will take his supporters and, dressed in pull over sweaters decked with block lettering "GOP/USA", mini-skirts and waving pom poms, cheer on the troops while they're over there. When the troops come home in need of medical care and jobs with living wages, then he and his pals will give them the raspberries and scold them for wanting "free stuff."

[1monster]

41. My word! Hyperbole much, Mr. Krystal????

ON EDIT: Oh parody. It gets harder and harder to tell reality from parody these days. However, my comment stands.

As I write this, the United States is facing the greatest foreign crisis in our entire history: a showdown between pro-America Ukraine and Vladimir Putin’s pro-evil Russia.

It's more like a show down between two massive egos: The United States Empire that Krystal embraces and the former Soviet empire inspired empire that (ex-KGB guy) Putin would like to reinstate.

Can't we get rid of the "Us vs Them" mentality in this freakin' human dominated world and become WE?

Or in the words of Bobby Darin: "We the people here don't want a war."

[Blue Owl]

42. Painless?

Depends who you talk to, Fucko

[Zambero]

46. It's a euphamism for "slam dunk"

However, that Neocon phrase was coined for Iraq, so given how that one turned out it wouldn't work too well for Ukraine. Therefore, a new slogan is in order. Also, for future reference we'll need to conjure up something in advance to supplant "Mission Accomplished". Except there won't be a staged fly-in on an aircraft carrier as backdrop this time -- more like a smoldering ruin of a city, somewhere in Russia or somewhere in the U.S.

[L0oniX]

43. George W Bush: We are all Uraniums. "Relax, the Daily Current is parody"

[Zambero]

44. Neocon withdrawal symptoms

It's been years since the U.S. initiated a war, jumping in with both feet, using faulty logic, with no justification for doing do, no exit strategy, and no consideration of cost or consequences. So long that Neocons like Kristol can no longer bear it. So why not go all the way and confront Russia at their doorstep while we're at it. The Cold War was for sissies. So let's get down to business, and dust off the nukes just in case so Putin will back down. If this is not our biggest foreign crisis at the moment, by God let's make it so. Another "slam dunk", only this would be "quick and painless". Ukraine or bust baby!

[WinkyDink]

45. "Relax, the Daily Current is parody." You mean as in: Belongs in "The DU Lounge"?

[Jack Rabbit]

47. Satire is always good with the morning coffee

Thanks, Manny.

[Ilsa]

51. Then he should go do it by himself.

Or take Gov. Half-Term with him since she can see Putin.

Glad it's satire.

[steve2470]

52. my blood pressure started to go up lol nt

[nilesobek]

55. You got me with this one.

I've been hating on Kristol so long I overlooked the parody and believed it.

[KamaAina]

56. Painless? Sure. For him.

Another repuke chickenhawk.