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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Rude Pundit:CNN Has Lost Its Goddamned Mind
Weary and rain-soaked, the Rude Pundit trudged into his flat last night close to 10 and, as is his way, lit a joint and turned on CNN to see if they had found the goddamn plane yet. There was a panel of, oh, hell, let's say 6 people, all talking to ostensible "newsman" Don Lemon. The first thing he heard was a correspondent for the network, Richard Quest, actually ask a guest, "It may seem an odd question, but I know these people have been used in murder investigations on many, many occasions." Then Dick Quest read a something from Radiotweek on Twitter, who is obviously who you turn to for reliable news. "'Investigators sometimes use psychics. Why hasn't anyone considered the services of a credible psychic specializing in missing persons?' I mean, it sounds incredible, but they have been used before."
You get this, right? A supposed journalist asked Jeff Wise, an aviation expert and scientist, why not use someone who thinks that ghosts talk to them or tarot cards or sky energy or whatever the fuck to find a very real plane with very real people on it? A plane that's way more than likely decorating Bikini Bottom right now? Yeah, let's ask every con artist and all the people who hear voices in their head what's going on. Why the fuck not? We got 24 hours to kill and nothing even remotely like news about the fate of Flight 370 to report.
Wise answered, "I think it's difficult to find a credible psychic," which is shorthand for "Are you fucking kidding me, you miserable excuse for a reporter? Let's just break out the Ouija board?"
But, oh, CNN was not done. A couple of minutes later, Lemon brought out more tweets in order to say, "Whether it was hijacking or terrorism or mechanical failure or pilot error, but what if it was something fully that we don't really understand? A lot of people have been asking about that, about black holes and on and on and on and all of these conspiracy theories. Let's look at this. Noha said, 'What else can you think? Black hole? Bermuda triangle?'" And then Deji says, 'Just like the movie 'Lost."'"
Okay, Lemmywinks, if you're relying on someone who doesn't realize that Lost was a TV show, you're scraping under the barrel for the goo that's dripping from it. Sorry, Noha and Deji, for spoiling your moment in the dying sun of cable news.
But, wait, he continued, "And of course, it's also -- they're also referencing The Twilight Zone, which has a very similar plot. That's what people are saying." People are also saying it's the Illuminati in cahoots with, fuck, let's say Mossad and, why not, the Masons. And what episode of Twilight Zone? The one where the plane was an illusion? Or the one where it went back to dinosaur times? Or are you saying it was gremlins? Was it gremlins? Do we need to get a psychic to talk to the gremlins with her mind? Goddamnit, where is Medium when you need her?
Lemon was quizzing Mary Schiavo, former inspector general of the United States, about black holes, Bermuda Triangles, islands where everyone is dead (except they're not, but maybe they are; goddamnit, that was a waste of six years), and gremlins. "I know it's preposterous," Lemon scoffed, then added quickly, "but is it preposterous, do you think, Mary?"
Schiavo looked like Lemon had asked her if she spits or swallows as she said, "A small black hole would suck in our entire universe. So we know it's not that. The Bermuda triangle is often weather, and Lost is a TV show." She then laid down some science: "I always like things for which there's data, history, crunch the numbers. So for me those aren't there." It would have been beautiful if she had just said, "Yes" and then stared at Lemon like he had just grown a boob on his forehead.
Does Don Lemon really want to be known as the Black Hole Guy? 'Cause he should be.
"Is CNN high?" the Rude Pundit wondered aloud and high. It's the kind of thing that you'd talk about sitting around with your stoned friends, passing a bong: "Dude, it's fuckin' wormholes. The plane is in another dimension, man. They're never gonna find it. It's up to the passengers to find the right wormhole to get home." Then someone would go on about aliens, someone else would chime in that it's now a ghost plane, a Flying Malasianman, perhaps, and finally someone would bring up how Ron Paul wants to legalize drugs and the whole conversation would be worthless.
The obsession CNN has with this story (which is all about ratings - it's the first time anyone's paid any attention to CNN in a long damn time) borders on psychopathic. Check out this partial list of yesterday's transcripts:
That's an entire day spent on nothing (with a brief diversion for something something Israel). Right now, Ashleigh Banfield is asking some dude about the scattering of debris and what if the floating thing near Australia is a shipping container or part of the plane (spoiler: It's probably a shipping container). CNN has become your crazy cousin who sits in the corner and rocks back and forth, muttering the same thing over and over.
Of course, there's always an upside to madness:
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2014/03/cnn-has-lost-its-goddamned-mind.html
Democracyinkind
(4,015 posts)They have stooped to the level of Fox, not in partisanship, but in pandering to the lowest common denominator in news: pure and unadulterated woo.
They have nothing else to offer but that, since the multiple-reporters-from-the-same-parking-lot kind of news they tried to serve before failed to shackle what was left of their viewers to their seats.
phantom power
(25,966 posts)Really, if I happen to give a shit what's "trending on twitter", then I'll just fucking go check out twitter. Ditto for actually quoting various random twitter posters.
If I was a news anchor or TV talking head of any kind, I'd be fucking ashamed of acting like some twitter stenography bot. Really? That's what you have to offer your audience? Warmed over bullshit we can all see for ourselves on our phone?
deafskeptic
(463 posts)I'm glad I stopped watching CNN a few years ago. If they keep this stuff up, they'll become even less creditable than Fox.
calimary
(81,222 posts)Glad you're here! This has brought out the loons alright! But nowadays the loons are more likely to be found behind the anchor desk, and not with a mic in their faces, held by some reporter on a Man-on-the-Street assignment, asking their opinion of Bigfoot and spiders from Mars.
lapislzi
(5,762 posts)You'd think it was a missing white girl.
jsr
(7,712 posts)eggplant
(3,911 posts)Crossfire DID NOT AIR.
'nuf said.
MindMover
(5,016 posts)in central park to pull out the dildo and start hammering it on the desk, yelling at the top of there lungs, WHERE IS THAT DAMN PLANE, WE WANT TO KNOW, WHERE IS THE PLANE ...
jtuck004
(15,882 posts)Junkdrawer
(27,993 posts)Time will tell. Did ya see this:
Israel has close to zero margin for error in countering and protecting itself against a hijacked airplane
A dozen days into the investigation surrounding missing Flight 370, there are far more questions than there are answers.
However, among the possible theories exists the notion that the aircraft may have been hijacked, with a plan to be used in a terrorist attack.
Among the many nations that could be potential targets within such a scheme, it is perhaps Israel that finds itself most vulnerable, thanks in part to its size and location.
"Israel's a tiny country. It's situated along the coast. A jet that's been hijacked flying at 600 miles an hour will take about a minute and half to cross the entire country of Israel. It's where Israel's most populated cities are right along that coast. So Israel has close to zero margin for error in countering and protecting itself against a hijacked airplane," explained Michael Oren, a former Israeli ambassador to the United States. "If this Malaysian jet has been hijacked, and there's a sense among Israeli intelligence officials that that is a possibility, then Israel feels that it has to take the necessary precautions. The government met with security officials this week and decided on a number of emergency measures."
http://piersmorgan.blogs.cnn.com/2014/03/19/flight-370-puts-israel-on-high-alert-israel-has-close-to-zero-margin-for-error-in-countering-and-protecting-itself-against-a-hijacked-airplane/
pscot
(21,024 posts)gerogie2
(450 posts)Corporate media only cares about ratings so they can get more money from advertising.
sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)valerief
(53,235 posts)trusty elf
(7,391 posts)said that it took 2000 years to find Noah's Ark, so it could take a while to find this plane. :-/
[IMG][/IMG]
Xyzse
(8,217 posts)The hell is wrong with these fools.
pscot
(21,024 posts)Sometimes I feel like I should get in to that racket.
Then, when I think that, I feel incredibly dirty and have to take a shower.
I would never be able to leave that place if I ever try.
bearssoapbox
(1,408 posts)Watched some cable when I was in hospital and nursing home for 4 months. Couldn't believe what passes for tv now.
Haven't watched any tv since last May.
Guess I haven't missed much.
Anyway, this is what happened...
Roy Rolling
(6,915 posts)I'm surprised the world of Teabaggery is not demanding an investigation into aliens. They were responsible for Benghazi, 9/11, and Christ dying on the cross after all.
Thanks, Obama.
bearssoapbox
(1,408 posts)It's a delicacy on his home planet.
It's been ongoing from the beginning of his presidency.
sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)And that one is as plausible as several of their other theories.
The Corporate Media, where Americans get their news. Is it any wonder people don't have a clue about what is going on in the world.
bearssoapbox
(1,408 posts)Like 'Coast to Coast AM'. Now some of those callers and guests really get going on the crazy.
bvar22
(39,909 posts)That one was REAL.
DURec for Rudie.
Bernardo de La Paz
(49,001 posts)robbob
(3,528 posts)....had me in stitches. And grateful again that I have NO interest in watching moronic network news...
At a friends; we were watching "Naked and Afraid"; a reality survivalist show that involves dropping a man and woman stark naked into some harsh wilderness for 21 days to see how they do. Not my cup of tea, but entertaining enough, I guess.
So they switch over to CNN after the show and there is one of the contestants from "N&A", some ex-marine dude who appears on the show, offering his words of wisdom on how the plane passengers could still be alive, and what they would need to do to survive if they crashed on an island, etc. etc.
Oh man...THIS is what they have come to? Some phony tie-in to a reality show "celebrity" offering his analysis? Priceless.
7962
(11,841 posts)Response to meegbear (Original post)
robbob This message was self-deleted by its author.
DinahMoeHum
(21,784 posts)He had far better luck than Patrick Smith, aka the "Ask The Pilot" guy over the weekend:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4670966
LOVE your new avatar image btw, meegbear!!
exboyfil
(17,862 posts)Brooklyn College wants your degree back. Also LSU wants to strike you from the rolls of attendees.
question everything
(47,475 posts)Talking about the Peter Principle: Poor Don Lemon used to fill "dead time" - on weekends where, I think, he even expressed his opinion on social matters.
So, hey, why not black hole?
No doubt, CNN ratings has soared since the disappearance of the Malaysian Plane and the invasion into Crimea. But no sooner do people turn into this station when Blitzer is not on - and they run into the same mediocracy.
Rex
(65,616 posts)in Gulf War One in Iraq. "Are you guys going to assault this beach?" I couldn't believe what I was seeing, news jumped the shark that day so long ago it seems.
For profit-news was born out of blood and death, who could have guessed?
deutsey
(20,166 posts)Remember how the network's news hour included Sybil the Soothesayer?
That was considered outlandish satire back then. Today, it's the norm.
mac56
(17,566 posts)malaise
(268,967 posts)It's insane
SomethingFishy
(4,876 posts)It's a slow news week.... I mean Justin Beiber hasn't done anything stupid and Miley's tongue is still where it always is so we might as well talk about the missing plane 24/7