L.P.D.: LIBERTARIAN POLICE DEPARTMENT

[PeaceNikki]

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

Much more at http://m.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2014/03/libertarian-police-department.html

Brilliant!

[riqster]

1. Kick for a morning chuckle.

[tridim]

2. Spot on! Please read this, whishy-washy DU'ers.

You know who you are.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

[IronLionZion]

3. Private detectives, security, and soldiers exist

and no, you don't want to encounter such people.

For example, in America's labor history, "job creators" often hired the pinkerton agency to beat up lazy workers who wanted such luxuries as fair wages or safe working conditions or collective bargaining. Now a days these types tend to provide security for many businesses.

[Jackpine Radical]

4. Brings to mind the paramilitary "security" forces

that showed up in the woods of northern Wisconsin to guard the Gogebic mine site.

[randome]

5. It IS brilliant! So is the toon you included!

I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]No squirrels were harmed in the making of this post. Yet.[/center][/font][hr]

[Blanks]

9. Hit the USPS mail box - shot it again (paraphrase). eom

[maindawg]

6. Brilliant

The comments are as good as the article.

[PeaceNikki]

12. cute video... but from the blaze???! that's odd..

[malaise]

7. Freaking delish

Rec

[TBF]

8. This is awesome. K&R nt

[Tommy_Carcetti]

10. “Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun..."

I literally LOLed on that one!

Great read!

[PeaceNikki]

11. yeah, that line got me lol'ing, too