Study: Men turn grumpy around the age of 70

[Cali_Democrat]

The Grumpy Point: When A Man Turns 70
April 14, 201411:13 AM ET


The approximate moment when grumpiness kicks in for men, according to a recently released report, is around age 70.

Then you'd better get off his lawn.

Researchers found that as men grow older — from, say, 50 on — they have fewer obstacles and annoyances to worry about in life and, furthermore, they are more equipped to deal with adversity. But around age 70, life — or at least the perception of happiness — begins to go downhill.

The study, published in the March 2014 issue of Psychology and Aging, examined 1,315 men — mostly military veterans who participated in a 15-year survey — between the ages of 53 and 85. Some 80 percent said that at age 50, life became easier. About 20 percent said they were happier after they retired.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/theprotojournalist/2014/04/14/301769284/the-grumpy-point-when-a-man-turns-70

[NYC_SKP]

1. Uh oh!

We need to get a younger demographic 'round here!

[Jackpine Radical]

4. Young punk. Git offa my monitor.

[yuiyoshida]

20. heh.

[GlobalVagabond]

78. Funny

That's great. Stealin' it.

[pinboy3niner]

7. That certainly would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

[steve2470]

59. the lack of love for Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber :p

Of course, they are unloved by people of ALL ages

[maddezmom]

14. .....

[BainsBane]

35. Word

[Nye Bevan]

2. Hmph. Which dadgum kids did such a stupid study? (nt)

[otherone]

3. younger if they have rheumatoid arthritis

like me..

[Warpy]

55. We're all grumpy if we have RA

Age and gender have nothing to do with it.

[otherone]

65. thanks for the reply warpy

I'm actually doing great on my meds, diet, exercise, and sleep regiment. I've gone from near disabled to minor aches and pains.

Peace and low stress to you.

[NCTraveler]

86. Just stooping by to tell you congratulations.

Being at a comfortable spot managing RA is great. Best of luck and I hope it keeps working.

[otherone]

88. thank you kindly miss

peace and low stress..

[blueamy66]

5. Mine turned grumpy at 55.

And he hasn't looked back.

[Nay]

38. Yeah, wish mine had waited until 70. He started when he was about 55, and

he's 65 now and much worse.

[blueamy66]

64. I cannot wait to see just how much more grumpy he can get!

And he is OCD now too. Everything in its place or all hell breaks loose. No dishes allowed to soak in the sink overnight. No socks on the floor. Remotes in a line on the coffee table. Keys, glasses, cell, pens...all in their place, ready to go the next morning. He even has everything in rows in the fridge. I don't dare move anything.

I feel bad for his employees at the restaurant.

Sheesh....

[larryjf]

6. Life get's easier after 50

Easier but the body does tend to go to pot. And speaking of pot, YEA!!!!! No more drug testing. And life get's even better.

[Art_from_Ark]

89. For some of us, the 50s aren't all that great

[Warpy]

8. Not a bit surprising

Unless they are capable of making new buddies outside work, the loss of social contacts is devastating. In addition, if work had been their whole life and they never bothered to find a passion outside it, empty time starts to feel oppressive. The wife is no help, she's already dealt with an empty nest and found friends and hobbies to fill the hole.

At 50, he was planning all sorts of things to do after retirement. By 70, he's done the ones he was still interested in. All he's got left are Pox News and trying to order the wife around.

[CTyankee]

9. hubby is a grump and I tell him he is. I am cheerful and delightful...

but I have my limits!

Seriously, though, it is very discouraging to learn that the life skills you so carefully built for so long are now rendered obsolete! That is why I escape into art history research...art is timeless...and thank god...

[LongTomH]

10. Some mornings........

From George Takei's Facebook page

[joeybee12]

11. Geesh...I'm ahead of the curve...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

[TheCowsCameHome]

12. Aw, stuff it, you moron.

(Soon to be 70)

[lumberjack_jeff]

13. Language is funny. Why "grumpy?" The researchers asked about depression and unhappiness.

language is funny because our choice of it gives insights about our stereotypes and attitudes.

Older men kill themselves because the are "grumpy", apparently.

[CTyankee]

66. Don't you think having coping skills is a big part of it?

I note that as my husband gets older, he is less able to cope with even the littlest changes in his routine. It actually upsets him. I find myself doing even more than I already have taken on (he has had two spinal surgeries and I have had to take over some of the big jobs he used to help out with). But I do set parameters (out of respect for my sanity).

[Nay]

70. I'm with you there, CT. Same happens here. He has no resilience whatsoever, which

makes vacations, car trips, etc., no fun for me. Other drivers, potholes, lost hotel reservations, detours, and he can't let any of it bounce off. He gets over-the-moon upset about anything.

[CTyankee]

71. One coping trick I can use in good weather is just to go outside for part of

every day. This morning hubby asked me if I shoveled the snow out by the car and I simply said it was too icy for me to try it (and of course where would he be if I fell and injured myself?) and am now waiting for the sun to melt it and then I'm out the door!

I know what you mean about the driving thing. I handle this by agreeing with his complaints and going one better...I really let loose. He doesn't like it but since I am agreeing with him (loudly) he can't really complain so he stops complaining! Kinda silly, I know, but ya do what ya gotta do!

[Nay]

72. Oh, yeah -- I go to the gym for a couple of hours every day for pool classes, and

I also go for outside walks a lot. It helps to get out of the house for a while.

[Populist_Prole]

81. Interesting solution!

"I know what you mean about the driving thing. I handle this by agreeing with his complaints and going one better...I really let loose. He doesn't like it but since I am agreeing with him (loudly) he can't really complain so he stops complaining! Kinda silly, I know, but ya do what ya gotta do!"

Very interesting also in how you describe his reactions to it. You say "he doesn't like it". Is that because he actually seeked out an argument, was picking a fight, and didn't get one? Or that he knows you're trying to diffuse him?

I ask that because I think I unwittingly used that method to diffuse my mid-70's father when he's always baiting me into arguments, mostly political. I'll either "fog" the argument by responding vaguely enough to where he thinks I'm just dispassionately agreeing with him, or I'll fake one-upping him in agreement. It does diffuse things but I suspect he realizes I'm just trying to deprive him of "winning" an argument.

[CTyankee]

83. ifyou do it enough, he might stop the constant comments.

It also helps change the subject temporarily...

[Populist_Prole]

84. Just wondering though

Just comparing notes. Why do you think your husband dislikes your one upping diffusion? In my case I think my own father senses I'm either tactfully mocking him or otherwise trying to get out of an argument ( which he so craves )

Is that the case with you? I love talking about human nature/behavior.

[CTyankee]

85. no, I think my husband is just used to driving while complaining or something...heh, heh...

when I get into the act he no longer is the center of it...

[Populist_Prole]

87. Ahhh Interesting

Complainers gotta complain. Just like my RW father.

[lumberjack_jeff]

74. Certainly having interests helps

I'm glad I got rid of TV cable many years ago, and I doubt I'll ever reconnect it.

The entire paradigm of TV is passive absorption of whatever Bob Iger wants to beam into your head. It creates mental inflexibility.

My workshop is a (nontrivial) investment in avoiding that kind of deterioration when I get to that age.

My initial reaction was to the gendered stereotype language was "at what age do women get ditzy?"

Certainly men are vulnerable to depression as they age and leave the workplace from which they derive their identity and social circle. Words like "grumpy", "cantankerous" and "crotchety" dismiss this phenomenon as a mental health issue and trivialize it into an annoying personal failure.

[CTyankee]

75. women tend to have more social support networks than men, but I think it has to be

something that men have to prevent the kind of depression you are talking about. My husband has a very good friend (who is my friend, too!) and a group of buddies that go for a couple of beers at a local bar every Friday afternoon. I don't enjoy the bar scene (nothing against drinking, just the bar thing) so I do my own thing. It was why I created the Friday Afternoon Challenge several years ago (which for other reasons I have now discontinued). I found it creative and fun...sort of my workshop so to speak...

[rrneck]

15. It's nice to be ahead of schedule for a change. nt

[JimDandy]

52. Nope. What you just did was

positive thinking, so you're not there yet!

[rrneck]

53. Damn. If you sent me out to fuck up, I'd fuck up on the way...

[jberryhill]

16. Ahead of my time as usual

I've been grumpy as all get out for a while now.

[bigwillq]

17. My Dad is 70

He turned grumpy five or six years ago, actually soon after he retired. We thought he would be more relaxed in retirement. Nope. He got even more grumpy. Now, he's a great guy, but he has he little things that make him grumpy. Things that wouldn't even bother me, like people that have tattoos. Don't get him started or he'll go on a half hour tirade about them.

[yuiyoshida]

18. Make my day??? NO.....

[WhaTHellsgoingonhere]

19. DU misandry

Typical misandry condoned by DU. I don't know why, it doesn't matter why, I just know that it is.

[voteearlyvoteoften]

21. Cue Grumpy Cat

All hail the grumpsters.

[Hoppy]

22. How many of the grumps experienced life setbacks?

I wasn't negative until Joyce died last year.

[Rozlee]

25. *

I'm so sorry for your loss of Joyce.

[steve2470]

60. so sorry for your loss ! nt

[derby378]

77. Believe me, I understand

I lost my Ginny almost four years ago. That sort of loss changes a man profoundly.

It will get easier to bear. I promise.

[Rozlee]

23. Opposite for my husband.

He was born grumpy and 60, according to his family. He was a terror in his command days in the military. As he got older, he became mellow and very doting and indulgent of his grandkids. As Alzheimer's has set in, he's become childlike and sunny-natured, always with a smile for everyone. He's breaking our hearts.

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. ...

My heart is breaking for you...

[Rozlee]

26. Thank you, ScreamingMeemie.

[seabeyond]

27. ....

i am with screamie



he's become childlike and sunny-natured, always with a smile for everyone. He's breaking our hearts.

[Rozlee]

30. Thank you, seabeyond.

[Chemisse]

28. I think my husband is a middle-aged prodigy.

At least in terms of grumpiness.

[RKP5637]

29. Ones brain can only absorb so much bullshit in life, by 70 it overflows into grumpiness! n/t

[tularetom]

31. At age 72, I'm actually a lot less grumpy than I was 20 years ago

I have a great family, a wife who gives me plenty of space yet makes sure I don't go overboard, lots of projects around this old house to fill my time during the day, and ample reading material to amuse me after the sun goes down. I don't have a lawn to chase kids off of, and besides the only kids who ever come around here are our great grandchildren.

I may not have achieved all I could have, but at this point there's not much I can do about it.

Of course it takes me a lot longer to get started in the morning, I have little twinges in places I never did before, and I can't do a lot of things I used to do. At this age nobody knows how much time they have left, so you might as well enjoy it while you're still around.

[lovemydog]

47. You rock. I'm very happy for you!

[steve2470]

61. excellent attitude ! nt

[geckosfeet]

32. I am 58 and I am very grumpy.

But then again, I have my reasons.

[Historic NY]

54. Me too....

but its more like a lack of patience with morons.

[Warren DeMontague]

33. I'm ahead of the curve!

[Marshall III]

34. Only 50, but I must be mature for my age....

[Douglas Carpenter]

36. I'm almost 60 and I have never been grumpy one goddamn day in my life and

don't intend to start when I'm 70 or any other age. And I don't need some goddamn know-it-all young punks lecturing me about it!

[lovemydog]

50. Haha, nice!

[idendoit]

37. How come I wasn't asked about this?

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

39. I've got 14 years of happiness left then.

Seriously though, my grandfather on my father's side lived to be 92 and was one of the most positive people I've ever known.

[RobertEarl]

40. Republicans

Who can blame those poor guys? They loved reagan, reagan screwed them. They loved the bushes, bushes screwed them and robbed them.

They believed the promises of the republicans and conservatives and now they are let down. Destroyed. They are what makes up the Tbaggers.

And let's not even get started on the grumpy women, eh?

[Jamaal510]

41. I'm less than 1/2 that age,

and am already grumpy--mostly because I'm broke and am single, though.

[Fumesucker]

43. Trust me, getting married won't fix the "broke" part

[Jenoch]

42. I wonder where the study is that determines

at what age women turn bitchy.

(Before anyone calls me a misogynist, that was a joke.)

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

44. Sad to say my mom did in her later years

She finally mellowed out after surviving stomach cancer. Guess a close brush with death made her appreciate things more.

[Jenoch]

45. My mother died a little over 6 years ago.

She had dementia at the end of her life. She always had a good sense of humor, but when she started getting dementia, she got even funnier. I remember pushing her in her wheelchair in a department store once when she spotted an enormous woman. I don't know what possessed my mom but she started to sing under her breath, "I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me, she's too fat for me". (In case you don't know the song, it's a polka that's been around for a long time.)

[CTyankee]

69. My mother died at age 94, having successfully and somewhat painlessly starved herself

to death. When she was 90 she asked me how old she was and I tried to say cheerfully, "well, now, mother you are 90!"

Her response: "Oh, no wonder I look like hell."

[roguevalley]

46. my dad only got sweeter with age. OUTLIER! :D

[Packerowner740]

48. Not me

I started at 50

[LibGranny]

49. I know this is true! I live with a GRUMPY ol' man.

[dflprincess]

51. Next time the Stones do a concert listen for Jagger singing

"Hey you! Get Off of My Lawn"

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

82. Maybe we can get Grampy McSame to sing that

[Arugula Latte]

56. Interestingly, that statistic correlates with Fox News-watching habits.

[FarCenter]

57. After 70, you don't have to please others -- you can be "candid"

From the article --

Of course, grumpiness is not always a bad thing. "At least one study found that older men in nursing homes who were grumpy actually lived a little longer," Carolyn says. "The thought is that these individuals could voice their unhappiness with their current situation and perhaps get more attention and perhaps better service than individuals who suffered quietly."

So after years of being told to not bottle up your feelings and express yourself emotionally, it turns out that when you do, they think you are grumpy!

[steve2470]

63. I think the tendency to be more candid is a big factor

At some point, you've "paid your dues" and no longer have to suck it all up, buttercup. Time to speak your mind

[seaglass]

68. When my mom retired in her 60s she said that she was no longer going to hold her feelings in and

was just going to say what was in her head. I call it her no filter period which basically lasted the rest of her life. Loved her anyways as she loved me.

Honestly I cannot place blame on people feeling and acting grumpy when they get older - there is this idea of mortality hanging somewhere in the background whether acknowledged or not.

[HockeyMom]

79. Quiet and Shy

That is what people said of me for decades, but I am not really. I just did that to not make waves, so to speak. When I reached my 50s, I just plain got sick and tired of trying to be what others thought of me. I am who I am and started opening my mouth. If others did not like the new (real) me, that was their problem.

Some people didn't like it, but my true friends and family did.

[seaglass]

80. Yes and why shouldn't you be yourself. It's a lot of work being someone you are not and stuffing

all those feelings down. My mom wasn't shy, she just wasn't assertive and never stood up for her own needs and wants until she got older. Lots of that had to do with her upbringing and the fact that she was a woman.

[Jasana]

58. That was certainly a long study but...

only 1,315 men? (and most of them military veterans?) It doesn't seem representative enough. Just my opinion but I'm taking this study with a grain of salt.

[treestar]

62. In my observation people get nicer as they get older

they know they have less time.

[raccoon]

67. Yes, the shadow of the Grim Reaper tends to make many people nicer. nt

[pinboy3niner]

73. Me, grumpy?