I found something we need to fear! And it may save us all. Really:
My face broke out in a rash Monday morning and I haven't been feeling well. Maybe some I ate at the Mexican joint my old engineer took me out to for lunch on Sunday.
One of my nephews has had stomach pains lately as well.
***Alert*** Dear NSA/Government reading this.
As much as my posts on facebook/du/cell calls/etc interest you (because you want to prevent terrorism) there is a new and real threat that some evil terrorist out there might be using illness to harm Americans.
You need to have every American go through doctors, testing, etc to make sure any time they are sick it is not related to terrorism.
We must leave no stone unturned and this is our blind spot. Why do you think they want to repeal the ACA? Bankrolled terror suspects want you to spend all your time and effort sorting through our junk mail and trash and ignore how we are really being attacked and killed. Have some drones drop off prescriptions and some healthy food while you're at it.
I now fear any ache or pain, it could be a form of 'chatter'. I am willing to work with my government to help stop terrorism.
In the name of freedom please get yourselves as involved in thwarting these plots as all those other ones. You don't ask if I want you to read my mail, see whom I have called, etc - don't sit around waiting on this either. Just have a medical team show up and run some mri's, bloodwork, etc and see if we can counter the illness. You already know I am ill, don't let them win!
I just sneezed. Damn you, Osama! I could be a bio terror vessel of oppression just like my bottled water on a plane could be a nuke. Better get me checked out.
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