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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCalifornia school cracks down on 'prom draft'
Last edited Wed May 7, 2014, 04:31 PM - Edit history (1)
Updated 4:26 pm, Tuesday, May 6, 2014
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. (AP) — A principal at a Southern California high school is cracking down on a student tradition called "prom draft" that involves male students ranking female students and then selecting a date from the favored pool.
The Orange County Register (http://bit.ly/QawExJ) reported Tuesday that Corona del Mar High principal Kathy Scott sent parents an email about the NFL-style draft over the weekend.
...
Male students draw draft picks in a lottery but can pay to improve their draft number so they can pick the date of their choice.
Scott says it's not acceptable to objectify students.
...
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/California-school-cracks-down-on-prom-draft-5458054.php
Over the weekend, Corona del Mar High principal Kathy Scott sent parents an email after hearing that some parents had been contacted by the Register about the draft.
“I am sure that the intention of this ‘draft’ is not to be harmful, but it may be,” Scott wrote.
“It is not OK for any student to be objectified or judged in any way.”
Parents have written to the Register saying the prom draft is not intended to rank young women and is just a way for groups of friends to sort out their prom plans. They also say that girls are free to turn down offers if they are drafted.
Scott discouraged the activity in her email to parents, saying, “This is not behavior that is consistent with our school’s outstanding reputation.”
“I urge you to talk with your student(s) and discuss the seriousness of this type of activity,” she wrote.
“Prom is an important event in the lives of our students and I would hate to have to cancel it or any other important student related activity due to the negative actions of a few.”
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/draft-612766-prom-school.html
Well, so much for that.
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el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)20 people will post in agreement, and nobody will respond to their posts. One person posts in opposition and starts an argument that lasts three days.
That said, this is a pretty despicable practice, and good on that principal for cracking down on it.
Bryant
lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)I have one job on this lousy ship...
"The draft" may be a reality that permeates all adult life, but there's no good reason to promote it in High School.
Iggo
(47,534 posts)It won't be long 'til someone chimes in with some comment about teenage girls consenting to it.
EDIT: Oh shit, look at that! Got it in two! 
B2G
(9,766 posts)Or did I miss that part?
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)Is someone allowing the females to do the drafting also, or did I miss that part?
Warpy
(111,141 posts)A bunch of pimply boys with raging hormones got together and did this.
pnwmom
(108,955 posts)They only get to turn down a date, if offered. But no one's asking them if they want to be ranked.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)
Capt. Obvious
(9,002 posts)Is anyone forcing the kids to pray?
B2G
(9,766 posts)CreekDog
(46,192 posts)
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)Progressives believe in freedom as well. Kids want to have sex in school? Pass out condoms. Want to do something we don't like, shame em and tell em they are acting sexist/sinning/etc and so on.
Smoke pot? Yay! We think you are so rebel like. Smoke a cigarette, blame Joe Camel and try to ban them.
Yes, you are on a progressive website. It is a big tent with many little tents and one not one giant group think based on the bible like a right wing one.
pnwmom
(108,955 posts)First they were ranked among the boys, without their consent. Then someone asked them to the prom. Only at that point could they opt out.
Dorian Gray
(13,479 posts)get a voice in particiaption. They can refuse to go to their prom, but being ranked? It's there without their consent. And I think it's terrible.
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)from several articles and interviews. Also this was not something put on by the school or during school time.
Not my cup of tea but it appears most people involved in it wanted to be.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)even if a teenager wanted it, does not make it a good thing.
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)But we pass out birth control and allow them to have abortions without parental consent - both pretty big decisions.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)the posts where you express an opinion are usually thematically related to saying that since abortion and birth control should be legal, the smoking and gun ownership should be widely available, even though here we are talking about minors.
i have never paid to read such nonsense and i can promise you i never will.
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)You don't like x so people who make that choice aren't really capable of making that choice.
Gun ownership is pretty wide, you have a problem with less than one percent of said gun owners and want to paint the many based on the few. We call that stereotyping. But that is ok to do in cases where you don't like a group.
Drinking has a higher health and cost to society. Pollution, car exhaust, and a host of other things cause problems but since you are ok with those things you ignore them when making judgements about smoking, because you like the former and not the latter. That's a consistency problem. Your body, your choice? Sure, unless your using that body to go to a bar you and others want to go to. Then, suddenly, removing choice from adults is a good thing.
When you get down to your core values and apply those to other things you seem to want to waffle on the core values and only apply them to things you like. Which is rather biased.
Consistency means you may not always like where things go but you back them up anyway because you believe, at the core of it all, in freedoms and applying the same core values across a wide spectrum of things.
The main reason I am here is I am pro-choice, even though I can't have an abortion. I am for gay marriage, even though I am straight, I am for people being allowed to own guns even though I don't own one. I am a freedom and choice loving liberal at the core - not just when I feel like it or for my own pet issues.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)
Once again confusing Liberal with Libertarian....
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)gun ownership.....unless of course you were born with a gun in your hand.
alp227
(32,006 posts)Somewhere there HAS to be a moral limit on what a polite society tolerates. Schools should be teaching kids how to behave in the REAL WORLD. These kids will have to learn either sooner (being reprimanded at school) or later (getting fired after committing sexual harassment in the workplace or going to jail for sexual abuse). Just because one has FREEDOM to do what he wants doesn't mean the person is RIGHT to do it. You're using the same arguments used by Duck Dynasty and Rush Limbaugh fans.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)
one_voice
(20,043 posts)On Thu May 8, 2014, 04:58 PM an alert was sent on the following post:
Some would say the same about sex and abortion when it comes to teens
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4924327
REASON FOR ALERT
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.
ALERTER'S COMMENTS
Wow, what an insensitive, rude, over-the-top post, taking progressive pro-choice causes and comparing them to this stupid "high school prom draft" story - more info http://www.ocregister.com/articles/draft-612766-prom-school.html - in the name of, well, "anything goes boys will be boys", never mind how insulting and objectifying this "high school prom draft" IS. Comparing teenage boys' freedom to be misogynistic bullies to teenage girls' reproductive freedom is so mind boggling stupid, it makes you think you've wandered into Freeperville.
TSS has often shown hostility to progressive causes enough to get hides:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4759767
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4611628
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2803478
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2072269
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4890074
If you wanna troll and be funny at the same time, be Third Way Manny.
You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Thu May 8, 2014, 05:09 PM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.
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The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)We say we trust kids to make big decisions and support them and their ability to do so, and then same people suddenly say 'but they can't make smart decisions, they aren't adults!'
All I did was point to the fact that we do let them make adult decisions and support them in such and gave two examples of that. Seemed factual, not emotional or attacking. These same kids made a choice here that they thought relevant in a fun way to their prom and is not dissimilar to real world ideas (football/basketball/etc drafts).
Also mentioned I didn't like the whole 'draft' idea myself. My focus was on judging the teens in a broad brush manner. Teens do a lot of things we would consider kind of dumb (this draft being one of them).
Would that people would spend as much time discussing the kidnap Nigerian girls as they did their fellow posters on Du not being as outraged as they are on a topic.
Interesting they went to the trouble to look at other posts of mine and list them, a sort of back door to attacking an argument they had no other way to attack.
BKH70041
(961 posts)They can keep it from happening on school premises, I suppose. But off campus what can they do? How many parents even care?
When I was in HS in Miami, there was a rule that students weren't allowed to use inappropriate words, or cuss words as it was called then, while on campus. That rule might as well have been directed at a rock. It didn't stop anything.
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)And she can make it clear that objectifying women in this way - ranking them - isn't acceptable. Yes, some are still going to participate, including some young ladies, but at least it makes it clear to those who don't think it's acceptable, that some people are on their side.
Bryant
BKH70041
(961 posts)You also have to wonder now that this tradition has received some publicity, how many more are going to want to participate as a sign of defiance.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)1000words
(7,051 posts)Recently, a female student's throat was slashed in CT because of the "politics of prom." The objectification is already there, how are we not to expect violence to follow? In fact, let's go to a gender-segregated educational system where young women can be safe from these vile creatures.
alp227
(32,006 posts)And the REAL WORLD is not gender-segregated or safe from cranky men. How long CAN schools shelter kids from the evils of the world, really?
1000words
(7,051 posts)or at the very least, unfairly pressured into being defiled because it is a "special night." Of course, underage drinking is a given at these affairs.
alp227
(32,006 posts)Teach kids...there can be a balance between having fun and having sobriety.
NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)(just to be consistent with the zeitgeist of this thread)...
First, I'm proud of the principal for bringing attention to this.
However, I am certain that not every student in the school attends the prom, I didn't attend my prom by choice.
It is sexist and objectifies women (and even the men) to be sure, but it's a voluntary and participatory role all of them are playing.
They could do away with Prom altogether and I don't think much would be lost to our coming generations.
Such practices are preparation for, and reflections of, a lot of what's wrong in our larger society.
As is bullying, bigotry, preferred treatment, and the rest.
Waiting For Everyman
(9,385 posts)What's the problem with just asking whoever they want to ask? Why do they feel the need to invent a system for it? Are they that afraid of taking any sort of action on their own? If they crave a way to display their popularity so much, that's what voting for Prom King & Queen is supposed to satisfy.
I'm continually amazed at how each generation is becoming more socially backward than the last.
treestar
(82,383 posts)Totally absurd. They should all be able to go whether they have dates or not.
tblue37
(65,227 posts)high school prom (and other dances, including the Winter Formal) are just fun--for everyone, whether he ir she has a "date" or not. Many, even those with boyfriends or girlfriends, go with a group rather than as part of a couple.
My lovely daughter attended her prom with a bunch of her female friends, despite having received several date offers. Instead of hurting any boy's feelings, she went with her female friends and danced with all of the boys who asked her to. She had a blast, as did everyone else.
My son attended with 5 (yes, FIVE!) of his female friends, including one he had occasionally dated but had not gone out with at all since junior year, though he did hang out with her as a friend, just as he hung out with many other young women as friends. They all had a blast, too.
Our 2 high schools' proms are held together in the ballroom of the Kansas University Union building. They also do something that struck me as bizarre at the time, but which I look back on fondly now as a sweet, precious memory of my kids' youth, now that they are 32 and 34. Parents here are allowed to stand at the railings of the wide corridor that surrounds the ballroom and observe the prom from above!
I actually did that, along with my best friend. We stood there for about 2 1/2 to 3 hours during each of my kids' proms, watching not just my kids, but all of those kids having fun and looking so cute and proud all dressed up. Though they are "young adults" at that age, they are also still very young, very much kids, and getting all dressed up in fancy clothes and celebrating together at the end of their childhood and K-12 school career is a major rite of passage, and most are creating precious memories for future years.
When my friend and I decided to go to observe the prom, we did it as a lark, just because we found the idea so weird yet interesting. We also went partly to observe the other parents who were observing. We both have an anthropological fascination with human behavior and with how cultural features manifest themselves, so we intended our time there as something of a field trip "among the natives"--not to mock anything, but because the idea of parents standing above the prom as observers was something neither of us had ever heard of, and we were fascinated by how it would work in the real world.
I was astonished, though, to find myself wholly involved in observing the prom, not as an objective observer of human behavior or cultural patterns, but as a *parent* enjoying the sight of all those dear children (not just my own, but all of them--I *like* kids; I always have--good thing, since I teach undergrads!). My friend, who was only a few years older than the prom-goers at the time, also found the whole scene surprisingly charming and sweet.
I must admit, one if my favorite pics is the prom pic of my extremely handsome son, all dressed up with 4 of his 5 "dates," all of whom look absolutely adorable in their widely varied prom formals. He wasn't able to corral the fifth girl in time for the pic, since she was dancing with someone at the time, and the line for pictures was too long to risk losing their place to go looking for her when their turn came. She got a solo pic with another of her male friends, plus a copy if the "Michael + 4" pic for herself, though, so she didn't completely miss out on the picture fun.
One of his girl friends was quite chubby. In a traditional prom dating set up, she might well have been left at home in tears, instead of being part of a group that attracted a lot of attention and admiration from her peers at prom. She was just as cute as the other 4 girls, but often an overweight girl does not get asked to dances in high school, and certainly not usually by one of the boys considered especially cute and "dreamy," which my son always has been. But Michael is a Mama's boy (in a good way), so he has always really liked women and appreciated them as people, not just as "hubba-hubba" targets for his hormonal attentions.
In fact, one of the reasons he invited all of those girls to attend prom with him was to make sure that all of them would have someone to go with. He couldn't bear to think that any of his friends might be left out or feel awkward if she had no one to go to prom with. He is older than my daughter, so the practice of attending formals in groups rather than in couples was not as prominent during his high school years. (Hmmmm.....I wonder now whether his little stunt--i.e., showing up with 5 "dates"--might have had some influence on the fact that the practice was so common as to be entirely unremarkable by the time my daughter's prom came around.) Of course, a lot of kids do still go in couples, but there just is *no* awkwardness, no stigma at all if a person doesn't go to prom with a date.
Anyway, because our high schools' proms are not set up in a way that leads to exclusion of kids who can't get dates, that means *all* the kids can look forward to prom and have a great time when they get there. Oh, and BTW, many years ago a group of mothers got together to make sure a nice selection of loaner prom dresses in various styles and sizes would be available for any girl whose budget would not allow her to purchase an expensive formal for just one dance. Prom in our city is simply *not* a vehicle for embarrassing or excluding the kinds of kids who were so often ostracized in earlier times.
treestar
(82,383 posts)Great kids you have!
tblue37
(65,227 posts)CreekDog
(46,192 posts)thank you.
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)and everything to do with evaluating:
1. Face
2. Body
3. (Rumored) sexual skills
4. Which "base" she's projected to let her date reach after the prom
And not in that order, either...
linuxman
(2,337 posts)Kids are cliquish and cruel. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing the school or anyone else can do to prevent this, outside of a 24/7/365 lock-down and the abolition of prom. All of life is one big "draft" after another. It sucks that kids are trying to jump-start a petty reality, but there doesn't seem to be a proper response to this outside of condemning it and moving on.
sendero
(28,552 posts)..... but don't expect many here to also agree.
It's tacky, tasteless and nothing more than putting on paper what BOTH GENDERS already do, will continue to do their whole lives. Yawn.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)that will be okay with you too? It's only "cliquish" right?
linuxman
(2,337 posts)1. It has been a few years since I was in highschool. Do the boys normally walk around with their dicks out? I can't seem to remember. Seriously, WTF?
2. Yeah, the bizarre scenario you created would also be behavior outside of the control of the school, and I'd consider it cliquish and cruel as well. Again, not sure how the school would be able to prohibit such an odd and unsanctioned activity from taking place among students.
I'm not sure what your point was. I was stating that there is nothing to be done about it and that I disproved. I'm not seeing how your weird-ass example would be any different.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)bet you won't bet against THAT
They are being judged on their value based on their looks...
linuxman
(2,337 posts)What is your point? I said there is nothing that can be done about it, outside of locking the boys and girls in separate high schools, or just cancelling the prom. I read a story about boys judging girls based on what I'm assuming are outwardly apparent criteria. What is your solution to this practice? Burkas? Kids are acting like kids. Shallow and vapid.
Is there a point you are trying to make here which runs counter to my original post in this thread?
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)and I say no.....the prom IS a school function...this shouldn't be allowed any more than judging boys masculinity by their penis size should be...
That is the difference between our views...
linuxman
(2,337 posts)THAT is what I'm getting at.
You cannot. Never in a million years will you be able to condition a building full of hormone fueled children to not evaluate each other on the basis of sexual desirability.
You realize that the school isn't giving the kids a fucking bulletin board next to the cafetria meal announcements to post their ranking system, right?
Yes, I'm saying it will have to be tolerated, unless of course you have some sort of plan which will reverse human nature and prevent children from judging their classmates while at school, at home, on Facebook, and everywhere else they will talk about who they would most like to fuck.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)geez....some people still speed even though their are laws against it....I guess based on that we should just get rid of speeding laws because not everyone will 100% comply with it!
Employers still sexually harass employees....OMG how do we stop it.....well since we cannot stop it all...we should just ignore it apparently
linuxman
(2,337 posts)You can't legislate human thoughts and feeling. If you can't understand that, there is really no point going on with this discussion.
If you actually wish to discuss this seriously and not just post cryptic non-answers, please elaborate on exactly how you propose to stop the children in the news story from ranking their preferences of each other and sharing that information amongs themselves.
I'll wait.
alp227
(32,006 posts)EXPLAIN WHY what the boys did is disrespectful! It's not "legislating human thoughts and feeling"...it's teaching basic respect to each other. So the fuck what if "oh the real world is cruel, kids need to grow a thicker skin to survive"? Do you not believe in doing SOMETHING about "oh the real world is cruel"?
linuxman
(2,337 posts)Simply explain to the kids that judging people is wrong. Why, I'll bet nobody ever told them that at any point in their life...
That's just it, isn't it? "Do something". Do what? Tell them how bad they are and take away their tuxedos/prom dresses? They are doing something that is entirely out of the power of anyone to stop. I suppose you could go down there and give them a stern talking to about why in your opinion it is wrong to do it, but that's about all you can do.
I'm just finding it hard as hell to give any more shits about this.
Fuck it. Prom dates will be assigned by lottery.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Funny way of showing how little you care.
linuxman
(2,337 posts)Simply explain to the kids that judging people is wrong. Why, I'll bet nobody ever told them that at any point in their life...
That's just it, isn't it? "Do something". Do what? Tell them how bad they are and take away their tuxedos/prom dresses? They are doing something that is entirely out of the power of anyone to stop. I suppose you could go down there and give them a stern talking to about why in your opinion it is wrong to do it, but that's about all you can do.
I'm just finding it hard as hell to give any more shits about this.
Fuck it. Prom dates will be assigned by lottery.
redqueen
(115,103 posts) alp227
(32,006 posts)I did not say that at ALL. What I really said: NOT every situation is worth being judgmental!
redqueen
(115,103 posts)posting shit to twitter, and basically treating girls like cattle to be auctioned off.
And yes there was money involved so it is likely that there was illegal activity going on, too.
Sometimes I really wonder how much people here bother reading.
linuxman
(2,337 posts)Then please elaborate on what is to be done about it.
Book em', Danno?
Jesus. Somebody stop these kids!
Somebody might be judged by superficial criteria!
IN HIGH SCHOOL!
What. Is. Your. Solution?
redqueen
(115,103 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... it's about OUTRAGE!
linuxman
(2,337 posts)They can have the thread.
I'm out. I saved all my outrage for moving day.
alp227
(32,006 posts)Shouldn't the line be drawn SOMEWHERE between legitimate judging of merits or interpersonal critical dialogues and bullying?
FarCenter
(19,429 posts)If the school administrators can't use a process like this to ensure that every student has a date of their sexual preference, the school should not have a prom. Otherwise they risk damaging the self esteem of dateless students.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)FarCenter
(19,429 posts)CreekDog
(46,192 posts)you could have clarified that, but you decided to change the subject.
not impressive at all.
FarCenter
(19,429 posts)The "prom draft" only dealt with males selecting females, which is insufficiently general.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)on your use of the term "sexual preference".
however, given the history, i can't say i'm surprised you used it.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)I'm glad things are changing for the better but boy does it suck being reminded of the regressive view on these issues.
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)People are being pro-choice, not dictating to either the boys or girls what they should do (ie, not forcing people to participate), and I don't really see people saying that it was something they themselves would participate in.
If those girls feel 'trapped' into doing it I would refer them to an earlier thread where people said you can't trap the willing.
Again, not something I would participate in but I don't expect everyone else to adhere to my life and choices I make (and this appears to be something that was a free choice event - unless one considers peer pressure and 'trapping' people into making decisions...)
redqueen
(115,103 posts)And if so what gave you that idea?
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)“I am part of the draft and am friends with many girls in the draft and yes, in some instances girls can be picked by appearance,” she wrote to the Register. “It is all just a fun way to decide who you will be going to prom with. It is not meant to harm those who are picked and I do not believe that it does. It is not, was never, and will never ever be used to objectify the girls at our school.”
I don't see it so much as sexism as people imitating real drafts from sports - ie, something they participate in in the real world but also in fantasy sports where people don't opt in). You want the 'best' people on your team, you have a pool of people to pick from, you draft them. When we do it other things people aren't calling it sexist towards boys. All throughout school you have mini teams where they 'draft' or pick from a pool to be on one team or another, etc. This is an extension of that.
As noted, I personally don't like it but I have a hard time judging others in this when it appears, as noted above by one of the girls, that it was fun and games and nothing more than a mapping of something else that is even more common.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)I'm sorry, what makes you think ranking girls by appearance is in any way similar to ranking them by skill?
This is how deeply ingrained the social acceptance of sexhal objectification is.
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)Notice there is more than one girl at it:
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Guess how meaningful their opinions are?
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)Like I keep saying, not something I think is a good idea nor would I participate in.
Some people want to shame these boys/girls for their decisions, that is their prerogative.
People pick others for sports, clubs, etc all the time and draft style choosing is something they are exposed to in the real world and this was their way of having fun with it all.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)of course that doesn't matter...
Are boys being ranked by penis size? Because I am sure breast size is a "property" being ranked...
dilby
(2,273 posts)It looks like it's all fun and everyone is voluntarily participating. It's not like a guy can pick a girl who did not volunteer to participate.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)You know this for a fact?
dilby
(2,273 posts)Why would they add someone to the draft who will say no?
redqueen
(115,103 posts)dilby
(2,273 posts)This is something they put together well before the prom, it's student organized and if you watch the videos it's something they put a lot of effort into. This isn't some boys exploiting girls, most likely it's the people who don't have boyfriends/girlfriends that participate.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)CreekDog
(46,192 posts)fail.
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)You are on a ranked list right here on DU, and you don't even know it. Now that I told you, does it make any difference?
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Feminists and sociologists have been talking about this serious issue for fucking decades.
I'm not about to bother trying to educate people who clearly don't have the slightest interest in learning.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)You're still on the list, whether you signed up or not.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... stretching like that.
Warpy
(111,141 posts)Telling them how fine a piece of meat they are does them so much good.
pnwmom
(108,955 posts)The girls never signed up to be ranked by boys, like dogs in a dog show.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)i know that certain posters are listed and noted on conservative websites and singled out for harassment.
is that what you're referring to? how do you know this?
oldhippie
(3,249 posts).... for folks to have their own, personal lists of favorite posters and such. Some folks are more organized than others.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)now tell us what that list is.
Response to CreekDog (Reply #123)
Post removed
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Boys ranking girls in their school based on sexual objectification and having a big draft day where you trade the right to ask the hottest one to prom is totally the same as you having an idea about which DUers you like most. Or having some on your ignore list!
Yeah! So there! Showed you!
I dunno whether to laugh or cry, TBH.
pnwmom
(108,955 posts)It is an insult to them that they are being ranked by boys -- as if they were dogs in a dog show.
Get it?
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)Parents have written to the Register saying the prom draft is not intended to rank young women and is just a way for groups of friends to sort out their prom plans. They also say that girls are free to turn down offers if they are drafted.
...
“I am part of the draft and am friends with many girls in the draft and yes, in some instances girls can be picked by appearance,” she wrote to the Register. “It is all just a fun way to decide who you will be going to prom with.
It appears that this was something set up amongst people willing to all be a part of it. If you see a video I have above it shows men and women at the 'selection'.
If you don't think people rank others I don't know what to tell you. People's most beautiful people list, ten most this, 20 most that, etc and so on.
This was not an official school event. If it was and kids couldn't opt out, etc, I could certainly see the point.
As I said before, not something I would push for or participate in. But kids having fun with their prom, on their own time, not sanctioned by the school is a bunch ado over nothing.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)jeez.
the things you stand up for here, it just boggles the mind.
then there are the things you oppose. and it makes one wonder.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)blueamy66
(6,795 posts)It's life. It sucks. But it's reality.
Iggo
(47,534 posts)HERVEPA
(6,107 posts)I hadn't seen it that much but I guess I've been looking in the wrong places.
The responses of some of the guys on this thread are disgusting.
And they're pretty much the same ones with non-liberal view on other threads too.
I hope women realize that it really is a pretty small minority on this site who are so sexist, and they are often the shit-stirrers on other issues as well.
Kudos to the principal here.
redqueen
(115,103 posts) HERVEPA
(6,107 posts)
Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)They're just loud.
Squinch
(50,911 posts)Squinch
(50,911 posts)were reading the Teabagger Times.
But your saying something is appreciated.
Jenoch
(7,720 posts)This 'draft' is not a good idea. Sure, the girls can turn down the boy who chose them, but what about the girls who are at the bottom of the draft?
I grew up in a small town that had an unusual prom, but at the time I did not know how unusual it was.
The prom started with a member of the local Kiwanis club picking up two couples. The prom couples did not drive anywhere on their own the entire night. The driver took them to a banquet at the local ballroom. The prom attendees did not take their dates to restaurants. The ballroom was also the location of the dance that went from 9p - midnight. After that, the Kiwanis divers returned to pick up the couples and brought them to the drive-in theater. (I guess that reveals that I am sort of old.) The Kiwanis drivers spent the time at the drive-in watching the movies in other cars parked at the far reaches of the drive-in.
After the movie, about 2:30am the couples are driven back to the high school where games are played such as a 'casino night' with prizes. At about 5 am the couples are taken to a local park where they enjoy a pancake feed. Once the night starts, nobody gets to leave and go off on their own unless they have to go to the ER. The only time any drinking happens, and it did, is at the drive-in.
Marrah_G
(28,581 posts)Niceguy1
(2,467 posts)Consent tp it, shouldn't we respect their autonomy?
TorchTheWitch
(11,065 posts)Their opinions were irrelevant. They were never asked to participate, the boys went ahead and did this WITHOUT their consent or even their knowledge.
I really don't understand how so many men here of all places don't see that men/boys ranking women/girls according to their own wet dream "hotness" code is fucking creepy and objectifying. Believe it or not those women/girls don't want to know about all the men/boys around them that want to get into their pants nor to they want to feel humiliated by their idea of not measuring up.
Is it REALLY too much to ask that women/girls be treated like people and not as mere sexual objects to be ranked according to whether or not they're considered "worthy" of the sexual desires of those men/boys?
This is really no different than the girls in the class having to walk by the boys that have 1 - 10 ranking cards and holding up whatever number they decide most closely relates to their own idea of whether or not each of those girls are "worthy" of their sexual attention. Any girls that actually do find that as empowering are the ones that have already been so objectified already they can't even recognize they're being treated as a sex object rather than a person. Sadly, I see a million times more of that with the young girls of today than when I was that age.
Niceguy1
(2,467 posts)that they did have a choice that it was entirely voluntary and one girl said she enjoyed it....
MosheFeingold
(3,051 posts)And was filled with pretty stupid people doing stupid stuff.
I don't have strong feelings about this, and tend to be of the live-and-let-live persuasion, so while I think this is stupid for many reasons, there are bigger fish to fry in this world.
You have to pick battles in this world. Getting worked up about this distracts from important things: guns, economic injustice, insane drug laws and the imprisonment of black males for being black, and the like.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)why is that?
MosheFeingold
(3,051 posts)It wasn't meant remotely to be a complete list. Looking at the list, I think I picked ones I can spell easily.
If you would like, I could amend my list by cutting and pasting the entire DNC Platform(which I helped write for many years, BTW).
minivan2
(214 posts)davidn3600
(6,342 posts)...on the other hand this sounds more just like some dumb act done with a clique of friends to pick prom dates. It's not sanctioned by the school and no one if forced to participate. And it doesn't appear to be breaking any law.
I might be asked if the genders were reversed and the girls are picking the boys in some "prom draft" would I be offended. And my answer is no, I wouldnt as long as no one is being forced to participate.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)based on whether it was boys doing it to girls and not vice versa, can't you just say, "wow, this seems wrong, no matter who is doing it to whom" and not post as if you were seeing this as a zero sum game of feminism vs. men's rights?
you'd have a heck of a lot more credibility if you could simply say that something that's pretty rotten and outdated is pretty rotten and outdated and not worry that you're taking the same side as a feminist.
i mean jeez. do you think i agree with everything every feminist here says? no, of course not, i've gotten into tangles, one quite famous a couple of years ago. but that didn't stop me from agreeing where i agreed.
davidn3600
(6,342 posts)And they aren't breaking any law nor forcing anyone to participate.
What do you want to do, have the whole prom cancelled?
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)alp227
(32,006 posts)Seriously I can't believe how many DUers are condoning this kind of shit, recent memory of bullying victims committing suicide be damned. A school letting this go will teach boys to view women as objects to be won and ranked by looks, instead of human beings worth respect. I can't resist imagining at least one of the stupid boys who took part in this draft going to jail for rape one day.
Jasana
(490 posts)and if those girls don't understand that yet, they will when they get older and more mature.
I'll never forgot my prom night. Actually it was his prom night. I was tomboy but I got in a gown and curled my hair. I wouldn't have done that for just anybody. We'd been going steady for two years. He had a driver's license but no car. I had a car so I picked him and drove him and it bothered him not a bit. He gave me a corsage and we had our pictures taken at the school. We then proceeded to have a wonderful night.
When the prom was over, we went from house party to house party. I was designated driver. One of the unattached senior males somehow got glued to us. At least he didn't up chuck in my car. A bunch of us later went to Denny's for breakfast because it was the only place open. I didn't get home till about 6AM in the morning.
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)and didn't go to mine. I turned down all invitations, including the boyfriend of my best friend. That really pissed me off. Thought he was a total jerk for doing that, and told HER that he asked me. They broke up over that.
Anyway, if I ever knew something like this was going on? Add one more reason not to go to Prom.
LeftinOH
(5,353 posts)Spending (lots of) money to dress up and hang out with the same assholes I have involuntarily spent way too much time with already? No.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)
DEMTough
(90 posts)I'm sad to say that I'm not surprised by this.
It's awful, I agree.
GoneOffShore
(17,337 posts)And it's coming from folks who should be supporting the principal of the school.
But seem to have some weird ideas about gender equality and what it means.