Here’s why you have to be a dick to be a Republican

[Cyrano]

Last edited Sat May 10, 2014, 10:17 AM - Edit history (1)

(a partial list)

You want to deny health care to millions – Screw children, the elderly and everyone in between. Every once in a while you’ve got to thin out the herd.

You want to make sure that no one can get an abortion – Including that 13 year old who was raped and that woman whose physical or financial existence is endangered.

You want to make sure no one can vote except white, mature men – Can’t have the country destroyed by “The Other.”

You have to make sure that all education is privatized and useless – educated peasants can be dangerous.

You have to be sure your voters believe global warming is a myth – Can’t have anything biting into the fossil fuel profits of your donors.

You have to keep the peasants working for as little money as possible – Hell, it’s the next best thing to slavery and you don’t have to give ‘em room and board.

You have to be against everything that black guy in the White House is for – And keep telling your moron voters he’s an uppity bastard who wasn’t even born in America.

You have to be against repairing the infrastructure – Safe bridges, roads, rails, water: screw ‘em all. Let the next generation worry about that crap.

You must be against any rights for women – They’ve been a pain in the ass ever since they got the vote. Let ‘em bring up kids and get on their knees when you want them there.

You’ve have to tone down anti-LGBT rhetoric – Too many of “THEM” out there now, (not to mention that perhaps you yourself might be so inclined).

You have to keep saying you want to attack any country that pisses us off – can’t let down your weapon-maker donors.

You have to care for your voice so you can shriek BENGHAZI, BENGHAZI, every moment of every day. Amazing what the suckers who vote for your will believe.

And most importantly, you have to say “God” and “Jesus” a lot. Don’t ever let those voters forget whose side God is on.

Please add to whatever I missed.

[NightWatcher]

1. First Rule of being a Republican: Take the asshole position on everything.

It's gotta be hard work to be that much wrong all the time.

[Cyrano]

5. Some are assholes. Others are just plain evil.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

55. Actually RULE#1 is: Never admit you are WRONG....

Which is handy when you are consistently wrong.

[RKP5637]

2. You have to campaign for feudal times were the best of times.

[Cyrano]

7. Yep. They're really fugitives from the dark ages

Last edited Sat May 10, 2014, 12:16 PM - Edit history (1)

And then they brought their Puritanism here and wiped out almost all the native Americans people in the name of Jesus.

In a sane world, they'd never be elected to anything. But then given their rigged voting tactics, it seems like they're going to be with us for a long time to come.

And what really scares me is they just might win out and it will be many generations before we see a new renaissance. That's supposing they don't kill off the planet first.

[RKP5637]

18. I was thinking this morning, they really want to make the US the Walmart of nations. n/t

[Exposethefrauds]

3. All Republicans are dicks and all dicks are Republicans!

A modern day truism

[pangaia]

43. I beg your pardon.

My dick is NOT a republican.

[Cyrano]

44. You never know

When I was a teenager, we had an expression that "A hardon has no conscience."

[pangaia]

45. Kersplurt....

You win, UNCLE !!!

[liberal N proud]

4. Being a dick as a prerequisite for joining the republican party.

[kairos12]

6. They are beneath contempt, despicable excuses for human beings.

[3catwoman3]

8. I would suggest a small change...

...white "mature" men to white "old " men, because the attitudes these guys display are certainly old crotchety-fuddy-duddy views, regardless of their chronological ages. Emotionally mature people have compassion.

Or maybe just old white farts/SOBs?

I think it was on The Norman Goldman show that I first heard the acronym WORMS - White Old Rural Male Southerners

[Thespian2]

9. One more

You have to willingly believe outrageous statements, smile frequently, and laugh often while your super rich leaders send young people to foreign lands to die.

[Cyrano]

10. Not only send young people to die, but

wrap themselves in the flag while doing it. And then when/if they survive, make sure that they get fucked by underfunding the VA. After all, once they've lost an arm, a leg, or their sanity, they're "takers not makers."

[nadinbrzezinski]

11. You know, what bothers me about lists like this one...

I could find the equivalent one right now for dems. I read enough freepers to be write one too. Some are very much mirror images. See climate change for example. In my best freeper voice, libs believe this is needed to increase regulations and control the free market. (I think I got it)

But I find your use of the other down right hilarious when that is exactly what you are doing. And this is rather unhelpful if we are to get off the road we find ourselves in currently, and it is not a safe road, speaking of roads.

Perhaps my lens is colored by actually covering sausage making (and victory laps, later this morning). And talking with people both inside and out of government. Not only has that increased my cynicism, but these days I question quite a bit of anything I am getting. Yeah, yeah, bad habit, leading to reading a full project from my favorite utility, after my locals claimed it was what it isn't. Speaking of climate change, they are changing wood poles, pleasing to the eye, for steel poles, weatherized and quite a bit more fire resistant.

Now the utility misbehaves so often that the worst intent was understandable. But that is a textbook example of ascribing worst intent to somebody. They should underground them for very solid policy reasons, and long term savings, but that is another kettle of fish.

I think more people should make a habit of going to Council and boards.

Oh and infrastructure is at the top of the agenda at both my dem and republican dominated city councils, so you know. I am positive potholes are a priority around the nation. So it is a question, to a point, of getting that kind of urgency to the most dysfunctional congress since just before the American Civil war...see that dangerous road we are on.

[sulphurdunn]

15. When the utilities

start putting lines underground, I'll start considering they're making progress.

[nadinbrzezinski]

17. I fear we will have to nationalize them first.

Pulling some numbers out of my ass to make the point. This project 60 million dollars...underground ing them, 600. It is extremely expensive on the front end. A publicly owned utility will do that much easier, might have to go to the voters to tax itself to do it...but when all you care is this quarter...

[COLGATE4]

19. What you don't take into consideration are the

following facts:

Undergrounding is extraordinarily expensive. Roughly ten times or more the cost of overhead lines.

Utilities need new easements to underground. The existing easements don't cover putting underground lines. Many business/homeowners simply don't want to grant easements to dig up their property to install them. In addition, the cost of getting new easements (not included in the cost comparison above) can be extraordinarily high.

Finding and repairing an outage in an underground line is much more difficult, time consuming and expensive than in an overhead line.

[sulphurdunn]

37. As upgrades are made

on the grid, putting stuff underground ought to be part of the project regardless of the opposition. If utilities wanted to put their systems underground, opposition would be brushed aside rather than used as an excuse not to.

[COLGATE4]

40. That's all well and good, except how do you

'brush aside opposition' if any given property owner doesn't want to give you an easement in order to underground the line? If you want to go to court about it, it can take you upwards of five years in many jurisdictions to get it resolved. And that's a different lawsuit with every landowner who doesn't want you digging up their property.

[Thinkingabout]

41. Actually there are areas where power lines are underground. There are

Problems and probably the cost is higher but we don't have an ice problem and poles do not need to be replaced.

[icarusxat]

61. facts

quality of life
beauty
simplicity
all are quashed by greed

you say it will be soooo expensive
ooooh so hard to do

when will simple greed be overcome by what is best for the many instead of the few

[COLGATE4]

65. File under 'Wishful thinking". nt

[Johonny]

22. I think Republican party is very good a packaging

Look at legitimate arguments made against the Bush administration. Those exact arguments are now made spuriously by the right against Obama. They're the same talking points we used to write only now they insert Obama. Which leads me to agree with you on this. I think Republican voters and Democratic voters aren't that far apart. But that Republican voters buy the fantasy spin about Democrats instead of realizing liberal policies are generally the avenue most likely to produce the society they actually want. The list is more pointing out Republican legislators at the highest level have to be self interested dicks but I think most people know Republican voters that aren't dicks. Yet they vote for complete dicks! It is a painful conundrum for us.

I have a friend very dedicated to working in homeless shelters yet they vote Republican. You point out Republicans are cutting social services and their response is silly lists like the one above. The list isn't true and the affect of poor conservative legislation is so obvious and yet they can't see it. I don't get it, but I know it is real. FOX news and conservative propaganda is great at projecting onto Democrats what conservatives actually do and it suckers in a lot of people who then vote against themselves But there are a lot of Republicans that likely aren't dicks they just vote for complete dicks.

[Cyrano]

29. It's not just packaging -- It's their echo chamber

Between Fox "news," hate radio, the submissiveness of the so-called mainstream media, and the "talking points" distributed to the entire GOP daily, the Republicans control the message that the general public hears day in and day out. And they know the importance of repeat, repeat, repeat.

The Dems can't come close to matching this propaganda. They have MSNBC, a few liberal radio pundits, and Jon Stewart. But overall, the GOP controls the majority of the media and therefore controls the messaging.

Until Dem-oriented billionaires start buying up many radio and TV outlets, and until the Dems in elected office all get on the same page, we're going to keep losing the propaganda war.

The GOP propaganda machine is the main reason that people keep voting against their own interests. Listen to those Republicans you know. Aren't they constantly repeating Fox "news" and hate radio talking points?

[mdbl]

57. So true!

Until pigs like Limbaugh are held accountable for their hate speech, weak minded dorks will vote on the weird emotions evoked by these Moron talking heads on right wing radio.

[AAO]

62. I don't understand why RW billionaires spend so much money to lie

And there are no liberal billionaires that will take it upon themselves to help us fight back by disproving their lies?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

64. I couldn't agree more.

Best to stay away from the flying monkeys media. Yecch.

[rudolph the red]

42. What in the world does that mean?

Just curious, are you hitting random keys on your keyboard?

"Perhaps my lens is colored by actually covering sausage making (and victory laps, later this morning). And talking with people both inside and out of government. Not only has that increased my cynicism, but these days I question quite a bit of anything I am getting. Yeah, yeah, bad habit, leading to reading a full project from my favorite utility, after my locals claimed it was what it isn't. Speaking of climate change, they are changing wood poles, pleasing to the eye, for steel poles, weatherized and quite a bit more fire resistant."

[hopemountain]

46. ha! i was also puzzled

he may be a journalist who covered a story on sausage making and also ran laps this morning in addition to talking to folks out and about - citizens and government reps. he sits on a board and is reading about the latest project of a local utility provider….etc., etc. ?

welcome, rudolph the red.

[Mc Mike]

12. Also,

You have to scream 'support our troops', in order to get us into a war, then make sure to slash all their benefits, once they're back here suffering from physical mental or economic hardships caused by that war.

You have to turn a blind eye to your donors constantly employing undocumented workers to increase their profit margins, then run jingoistic campaigns against 'illegal aliens'. Make sure to derail any attempts at immigration reform.

You have to promote tar sands and fracking as energy self-sufficient national security, then make sure that nothing stands in the way of energy companies selling those resources abroad instead of selling them for domestic consumption here at home. And ignore the fact that environmental disasters at Dimock, PA, Marshall (Kalamazoo), MI, Mayflower, AR are effectively attacks against our national security just like any hypothetical terror attack.

In short, any 'deeply held' statement of moral and political belief can and will always be flip-flopped on by repugs, in favor of their only true aim: more profits and power for the top .1%, and less money and power for the rest of America.

[Louisiana1976]

28. +1 million

[Mc Mike]

66. Thanks, L19. nt.

[smallcat88]

13. Just a couple of things

You have to be against birth control - you want the 'supply' of peasants to be plentiful. And you have to be in favor of guns, guns, guns everywhere. Apparently maintaining an old west style mentality is another God-given right, forget all that peace and love stuff Christ actually preached.

[Cyrano]

16. Everyone knows that Jesus and the apostles were

armed to the teeth. Why do you think they wore those long, loose robes?

[RKP5637]

23. "... long, loose robes?" Flashers?

[Zorra]

14. I've always said this. Only a genuinely horrid human being would choose to be a republican. nt

[RKP5637]

21. Especially anymore, it is so blatantly obvious what horrific creatures republicans have now become.

There was a time when one could work with republicans and come up with some good and reasonable ideas, but those days seem long gone. I think many of those individuals have long left the new republican party.

[mdbl]

58. They listen to el Mushbo all day.

A repuglican is either a dodo head listening to right wing radio or a paid stooge. There is no in between anymore.

[RKP5637]

20. Wave the flag for false patriotism, clutch the bible and wage wars for profit while telling

the little people how great they are while rolling over them.

[L0oniX]

24. Does this mean that women can't be republican???

[Cyrano]

25. Just the dumb ones

[L0oniX]

26. ...but they don't have d***s.

[paleotn]

30. One of the strange things about dicks....

....you don't have to have one to be one. Funny how that works.

[Cyrano]

34. My bad. I missed the double entendre

I must need another cup of coffee, some vodka, a joint, or a brain transplant.

[L0oniX]

36. Sorry ...it's my dry humor kicking in.

[IDemo]

27. You believe the planet and its resources are your private vending machine

And when you've emptied it out and left your candy wrappers and garbage all over the place, your precious yet-to-be-borns can just deal with it.

[Cyrano]

33. What I always find amazing is that

they don't seem to care one bit for the planet they'll leave their own children and grandchildren. One could say that they (virtually) eat their own babies.

[savalez]

31. Add anti immigration to the list.

[Cyrano]

32. Well, they're against immigration for black, brown and yellow people

Of course, Europeans, Canadians and Australians are welcome, especially if they bring money to invest in Wall Street.

[Laelth]

35. k&r for the truth, however depressing it may be. n/t

-Laelth

[awoke_in_2003]

38. Our recent track record on education...

is, sadly, not much better.

[Cyrano]

39. For the GOP, -- Education, bad. Dumb, good.

Given today's Republican Party at both the federal and state levels, an educated electorate is the last thing they'd want.

Only the very wealthy, the very greedy, and rabid racists would stick with them. If their uneducated voters ever caught on to the degree to which they were screwing themselves, the GOP would cease to exist.

[rwsanders]

47. Missed some biggies. They also believe...

All ferners are bad, therefore it is OK to exploit them, kill them, take their land, homes, lives, or children if the U.S. of A. sees fit.
We can rape the planet and live without natural resources like trees, animals, etc., because even though we are destroying education, technology will fix things in the end.
Its all a "natural flucuation".
If the label says its safe, it can't be bad (food, pesticides, pharmaceuticals, etc.).
Even though the bible predicts a final catastrophe, it all has to do with Israel, not how we are screwing up the planet.

On "manhood"...
The guy with the biggest truck is more manly, especially over the guy on the bicycle.
The guy with the gun is more manly than the one that can walk down the street without fear.
The guy in the big powerboat must be more manly than the "wimp" that sails.
The guy who bullies others is more manly than one who can treat others as equals.

Hope that helps.

[whistler162]

48. So you are a Repubican!

[hopemountain]

49. you are entitled, god damn it!

you are chosen by god to have dominion over everything - even women are subservient because they came from adams rib and are not wholly made in god's image as are you which entitles you to superiority, god damn it!

you are entitled to make all of the decisions, bully anyone who gets in the way, use up everything and anything you want as is your god given right, god damn it!

you are entitled to decide exactly who, what, when, where, how and why for what ever you want to do and when people won't follow what you say and ask questions - make them do it any way - you are the law, god damn it!

even when they will not do it, you will MAKE them do it because you said so, god damn it. when they ask questions, throw sand in their eyes, throw your weight around, boom your voice, lie, whatever it takes to force them to do what you say.

you are entitled, god damn it!

[Cyrano]

50. Ahh, the Republican's version of heaven

And the hell they'd like to impose on the rest of us.

[nikto]

51. 2 more...

(related to the 4th point) You have to attack the Public Schools at every opportunity, while taking contributions
and owning stock in Charter-School corporations.


You push The Drug War, hard, all the time, while you own stock and take contributions
from corporations that own for-profit prison$.

[blkmusclmachine]

52. Today's GOP is nucking futs.

[mnhtnbb]

53. My list is shorter

You have to care about money more than anything else and it's all yours and fuck
anyone--especially the government--taking it from you.

[Politicalboi]

54. My college educated Teabagger brother told me

Global warming is not real. He referred to an 1895 New York Times article that claimed the horses used in NY would put the city in knee deep horseshit if we don't stop using them. See, he was wrong. All that sky is falling is bullshit. Same as now. GOP logic makes my head hurt.

[McCamy Taylor]

59. Dicks

[freshwest]

60. Call loudly for the fall of the Constitution (its government) you claim to love so much. BUNDGAZI!

[bobGandolf]

63. spot on! n/t

[Gothmog]

67. The GOP is based on ignorance and hatred

The GOP relies on ignorance and bigotry.