"I知 tired of smiling-tired of having to worry about some stranger feeling uncomfortable..."
Don
August 10, 2014 at 9:04 am
It is amazing how black men can keep their sanity despite the insanity that happens to them. I remember one time I took my wife to a medical appointment at an office building, usually I drop her off at the entrance and I wait in my car in the parking lot usually listening to music or talk radio. Anyway this one time I decided to go in the lobby to use the rest room. As I exited my car this white lady was walking towards me, the look of fear she had or her face was palpable, she clutched her purse so tight her hands turned red. As usual I smiled at her to ease her fears, see I’ve discovered that when I run into white people on a one on one situation I smile just so they will feel comfortable. I’m tired of smiling; I’m tired of having to worry about some stranger feeling comfortable or uncomfortable in my presence. Why is it that when I’m the only black person in an elevator with a bunch of white peoples, nobody smiles to make me feel comfortable? Why is it that when I’m anywhere and I’m the only black person there, nobody smiles at me to make me feel comfortable? The average black man will tell you, if he’s lived long enough, that he’s discovered certain mechanisms he uses to make people feel comfortable in his presence. So now another black kid is dead under unclear circumstances, another black community is in pain, and another policeman is on paid administrative leave. By this time tomorrow we’ll know everything this young black kid has done since he left his mother’s womb, the good and the bad, the right and the wrong. I’ve got an eight year old son; I used to wonder about what college he will attend or what does he want to do when he grows up. As black men we’ve learned to focus our thinking on the present more so than on the future when it comes to our black boys.[/blockquote]
http://theobamadiary.com/2014/08/10/early-bird-chat-321/#comment-1105038
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it was one of a love/hate sort of choices. If it makes you want to have lunch, I guess it helps one in deciding when to take a break!
It was my favorite (and last) kitty's name... because her wet food was primarily fish and I would hold her after she ate - when she was really small. She was wild and would use up so much energy straddling her bowl and devouring her food that she needed to be burped until she figured out that nobody was going to take her food from her. And kitty tuna burps are particularly funky so it became part of her full name.
Since then the phrase has morphed into numerous double-entendres.
I assume that kitty is no longer with you. I'm sorry.
The animals we bond with provide us with so many beautiful memories (although 'tuna breath' leaves something to be desired, I expect).
I recently had to have my dog put down. It broke my heart. He was nearly 15 y.o., but still....
We never want them to leave us.
> > >
I do have a Siamese kitty, tho'. He is a stitch. 
helps me to keep the fond memories near. I write as I look at a framed photo of her at about 4months old. She was a tortie-point Siamese with all the attitude and a face that was half orange and half dark brown, split right down the middle... each side having speckles of the opposite color. Best kitty I ever shared my home with. Her full name was Luna the 2nafish wild ferocious beast. She was all of that and more. Like having a dog dressed up in a kitty costume, guarded the yard from dogs and strangers, patrolled the perimeter of the yard every night before going to bed. She'd warn me if someone came in the yard while I was in the cabin. Awesome cat, her two best animal friends were dogs, and she played tag with the squirrels who taught her to run up a tree and along the top rail of a hurricane fence at lightning speed. An owl got her.
And I can relate to your dog story, I was at the passing of my favorite dog who was well over 18.5 years old, two weeks ago today. She was really cool, not my dog but I watched her for a couple months this spring while her mom healed up from a broken ankle. She was awesome too. We were great pals and went on many hikes together. She didn't trust many people so I was honored that she trusted me.
Hard to let go of somebody who loves you unconditionally.
Glad you have a new kitty, wish I could have one here but it's not a good place for cats in bear/wolf/coyote/eagle/owl country. And I live in a small cabin, not much room for a kitty to play indoors. Maybe someday I'll have a bigger place and can get another friend, but my economic world will have to see major improvements first.
this white man doesn't require a smile. I assume nothing bad about anyone who hasn't given me reason to. If anything, I go out of the way to make sure that it's known that I'm not suspicious or fearful. But I realize that I'm in the minority in that respect.
I have noticed black men who seem to be frightened of me and who go out of their way to be overly-apologetic for minor or imagined infractions. It's actually very uncomfortable when it happens but I understand where it comes from.
