Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind: Why White Moms Need To Care About Murdered Black Children

[gollygee]

I would make this more gender neutral, but otherwise a great read.

http://mamademics.com/out-of-sight-out-of-mind-why-white-moms-need-to-care-about-murdered-black-children/

Maybe it’s not “your” husband, father, or son, but I’m pretty sure the mothers and wives of the officers who killed Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, Eric Garner, John Crawford, and Mike Brown felt the same way. I’m sure that the woman who raised Theodore Wafer, who murdered Renisha McBride, didn’t think she was raising a murder. I’m sure just like you they taught them to be kind to all people and to be upstanding citizens. I’m sure they didn’t talk about race because hey it’s not that big of a deal anymore, right?

Wrong! To start raising your children to be color-blind is insulting. There is no shame in being a person of color, and saying that you don’t see my color means you don’t really see me. You don’t see my history. You don’t see my culture. You don’t see the daily struggles that my skin color causes. You’re not helping me. Honestly you’re helping yourself when you say you don’t see color. It means you don’t have to acknowledge the privileges that your skin color affords you. It’s easier to parent this way because then you don’t have to teach your children about racism. You aren’t forced to have hard conversations

It also means that your children grow up never truly seeing their privilege, and seeing no reason to fight against systematic/institutional racism. It means that the only things they learn about race come from the biased media (ie television and movies).

They’ll go to college and ask a Black person “if they have friends who sell crack.” (Yes, that happened to me and no he wasn’t from the south he was from California). They’ll sit in a classroom and say that they know that racial stereotypes are wrong, but they can’t help being afraid when they see a Black man at night because Black people are dangerous according to the news. And since they grew up in a color-blind house where race was never discussed, they’ll just take what’s fed to them as the truth on the matter.

[onecaliberal]

1. Might not be many of us but of course I care

About dead black children. I care about ALL children.
I am sick of a large portion of this society thinking that people are somehow different because of skin color. People are different because of heart and courage.
We have to get control of police depts away from psychopaths who place no value on human life.

[calimary]

2. And we have to get the damn F---ing WAR TOYS away from the police.

Unless they're policing the Green Zone in Baghdad during a shooting war, they have NO BUSINESS being equipped with that stuff, especially in a small community in the middle of America where there is NO such evidence of on-going hostilities!! Forcryingoutloud!!!
I'm another white mom who DOES care. Because those false presumptions and un-caring over-generalizations can, quite literally, bleed over to my kid, or oncaliberal's kid, or ANYBODY ELSE's kid. If THAT is what's allowed, and condoned, or ignored, if THAT is the mentality that rules here, then ALL OUR KIDS, no matter what skin color, are at risk. And all of US - parents and others - are, too.

[onecaliberal]

6. I agree

The police have demonstrated they can not handle having it. Honestly, I can't think of one legitimate need for a police department to begin with.
We also have to rid departments of racists and officers who are clearly not protecting and serving. What the hell ever happened to community policing?
My heart is completely broken for the parents of these young men who not only have to live with the devastation of a dead child but listen to the killers smear and slander their names across America.
I've had enough of this bullshit, I hope this is a turning point but sadly I'm not counting on it.

[hamsterjill]

3. I care, too.

I care about all children, too.

It sickens me that in almost five decades - from the sixties when I first witnessed race riots, etc. to today - that there has been no real change.

I want change for ALL sides, too. I want black and white and yellow and red and green and blue and any other color of the spectrum to all come together and be ONE human race.

I'm white and I certainly know and understand that there is racial disparity in this country. I've seen Blacks, Latinos, Asians, etc. discriminated against. But I've also seen white people discriminated against.

I don't like it coming form ANY direction. It's time for the HUMAN race to move forward and look at the individual, not the color.

[demigoddess]

4. Let me guess

Because they are human?? and children??? isn't that enough???

[sufrommich]

5. That was an excellent article. I can't stand that "I don't see color" crap.nt

[cvoogt]

7. seems a bit naive (in part)

" I’m sure just like you they taught them to be kind to all people and to be upstanding citizens. I’m sure they didn’t talk about race because hey it’s not that big of a deal anymore, right? "
Why so sure? I know of members in my own extended family that make a big deal out of race. Racism is not just "not treating others badly" (or not thinking ill of them only for their skin color), it's people going out of their way to treat others badly, and yes, people are still being raised to be actively racist, and some of them wind up being cops. In the parts of rural America I know, race is still very much a big deal. There really is still a "good" and a "bad" side of the tracks in many small towns.