Jeff Masters reviews "Into the Storm" -Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhahaha

[malaise]

http://www.wunderground.com/blog/JeffMasters/comment.html?entrynum=2763
Disaster Movie 'Into the Storm' is a Disaster

By: Dr. Jeff Masters

From the beginning of tornado disaster movie, "Into the Storm", we are treated to the most magnificent special effects that Hollywood can create. In the eighteen years since the infamous "Twister" of 1996, computer graphics technology has progressed remarkably. The spinning fire tornado and jetliners hurtling through the air in "Into the Storm" make the flying cows and clumsily rendered tornadoes of Twister seem quaint. Unfortunately, as is the case in nearly all disaster movies, the plot, dialogue, and acting of "Into the Storm" are a disaster. The movie opens humorously, with a scene featuring two low-wisdom yahoo storm chasers who look like they came straight out of "Jackass". They put on the most believable acting job of anyone in the movie, but unfortunately, are only minor characters. The rest of the movie features main characters whose acting ranges from mediocre to bad. Not only is the acting bad, but none of the characters are sympathetic, and there is very little character development. As a result, we have no one to root for. The characters range from bland (meteorologist Allison) to annoying (Vice Principal Gary, whose school gets devastated by a tornado) to drab (his son Donnie, who gets trapped in rubble with his wanna-be-girlfriend Kaitlyn), to downright obnoxious (storm chaser Pete.) The scene of Donnie and Caitlin trapped in tornado rubble and recording their final words on their cell phones for posterity is quite possibly the most melodramatic and painful disaster movie scene in cinema history. I had to shut my eyes and think about how good "Sharknado" was by comparison to shut out the interminably long debacle of dialogue and acting.

[NV Whino]

1. Love it!

The review, that is.

[malaise]

3. Best laugh in days

Only one problem. I have a 'none' problem. None means not one.

"...but none of the characters are sympathetic, and there is very little character development..."

None of the characters is sympathetic.

[Iggo]

7. I'm with you on that one.

[malaise]

8. I'm always screaming at the radio and TV

over that one.

[LiberalAndProud]

14. Not so.

"None are" is grammatically correct.

http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/none-or-none-are
http://www.onlinegrammar.com.au/top-10-grammar-myths-none-always-takes-a-singular-verb/

[malaise]

16. So for me

not changing

[LiberalAndProud]

18. Okay,

then I won't scream at the tv when I hear the phrase "none is."

[malaise]

19. LOL

Cool

[A Simple Game]

29. Yes it is, thank you and proves none here are all knowing. n/t

[pinboy3niner]

2. If the review is accurate, I'm rooting for the tornado

Just to put some of those fictional characters out of their misery.

[malaise]

4. Now I want to see the crap movie

[csziggy]

10. I did root for the tornadoes in one storm disaster movie

EVERY character at some point jumped in their vehicles to either outrun a tornado or to run to the rescue of family members being threatened by tornadoes. It was insane, especially when the town disaster manager got in her SUV to get her high school student offspring out of the path of the tornado that had just passed her.

By fifteen minutes into the horrible movie, I was rooting for the tornadoes to take out every single moron in the town.

I am not sure, it may have been Tornado Alley, produced by A&E: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209427/?ref_=kw_li_tt

[Treant]

21. Night of the Twisters

That one was a crap-fest and there was a lot of similar dumb-assery going on.

By the end, I was hoping the twisters would win and it would be the Day of the Twisting Dead.

[csziggy]

22. Zombie Tornado!

Why not, they did Atomic Tornado and probably Alien Tornado.

[BlueJazz]

5. I'm already looking forward to part 2 "Into to really-big storm"

[malaise]

6. Which will be followed by

a really, really-big storm

[pinboy3niner]

13. Which will be followed by...

...'A Mightier Wind.'

[dembotoz]

9. followed by the really really really big sharknado storm

[malaise]

11. And people still fill the cinemas

because there is nothing like a good scream

[NuclearDem]

25. You mean Sharknado 2: The Second One?

[flamingdem]

12. Twister rocked

one of my faves. This one sounds like a bummer, might as well give in to Sharknado to get my 3d thrill.

[malaise]

15. I loved Twister

[conservaphobe]

17. Saw it at the theater and enjoyed it quite a bit.

They saved a lot of money for the graphics by keeping top-dollar actors off the project.

[Laffy Kat]

20. Saw it the first day it was released.

I have to agree with the review. Yes, it was terrible. But I knew what I was getting into. When you're a weather freak you put up with a lot. The tornadoes were SO COOL.

[malaise]

23. That's the thing - we still go to see them

[CBGLuthier]

24. I never saw Twister and I will never see this. I don't find tornadoes entertaining.

[NuclearDem]

26. I saw it, and frankly enjoyed it for what it was: disaster porn.

There's one particular part close to the end that was utterly preposterous but frankly was pretty cool.

[NM_Birder]

27. If you didn't see Sharknado 2 "the second one" ..... you missed everything ;)

[factsarenotfair]

28. I personally think this review of Under the Dome Season 2/Episode 1 tops that by a mile!

We're one hour back into Under the Dome and I'm already feeling more confused than Joe McAllister at a... well, anywhere, actually. He's not that smart. So many things happened in the Season 2 premiere that looking back on the episode, it feels like nothing happened. Wait, did anything really happen? Confusion reigns because "Heads Will Roll" was an hour of malformed gibberish masquerading as network television. Instead of featuring any semblance of rational decision-making, characters were talked into setting out in new directions—sometimes by dome ghosts—and the show passed it off as plot. There were two senseless and awesome deaths. And new characters emerged from the barrels they were hiding in throughout all of Season 1. Maybe the new science teacher should've had more of a presence during the Dome's first days in Chester's Mill to give Joe a little break from his Dome sleuthing?

HOWEVER! For the first time in its run, Under the Dome gently caressed the classic storytelling staple of something called "theme" with a whopper of a debate that transcends even the most impenetrable of domes: medieval science versus dumb-person hocus-pocus hooey! It's a thrilling question that's sure to keep audiences entranced for minutes. And how did the show pull that off? To quote the poet Jesse Pinkman, "Yeah bitch, magnets."

For almost an entire year, we'd been waiting in anticipation to see what happened after Julia dropped the mini-dome egg into the lake and pink lights shot into the sky and everything went white while the town gathered 'round to see Barbie hung for fake crimes. And the answer was so obvious—the Dome became a Magne-Dome. If we're to believe the nonsense that the characters came up with, it became magnetic and caused havoc to teach the people of Chester's Mill a lesson: Stop killing people!
...
Lots more--
http://www.tv.com/shows/under-the-dome/community/post/under-the-dome-season-2-episode-1-heads-will-roll-review-140417418537/

I loved Season 1 but Season 2 is unwatchable.