My father died Sunday night
Last edited Tue Oct 7, 2014, 08:49 PM - Edit history (2)
My mother died less than three years ago and my father died Sunday night, just after visiting him. He had suffered for years because of horrors he had seen in WWII and the effect upon the family was profound. And difficult. He battled and won over his chemical demons and not his depression and when my mother passed, he thought about suicide.
I have been putting aside my life for caring for his the last two years and moreover the last five months after he was diagnosed with MDS from chemical exposure from perhaps War or maybe a job he held. (more cases are growing each year) We will never know. A horrible scourge of a disease that is not common and not diagnosed while it morphs your body so that eventually you live like a vampire with blood pacs and tubes. It sneaks up on you. It is terminal if you are older or do not qualify for a bone marrow transplant.
An ambulance took him to two Hospitals twice in the last week and half. He moved care locations four times. He was 87 and his body just finally gave in. Thankfully it was swift....talking Friday, closing eyes and speaking softly Saturday and then Sunday, unable to speak but showing a lot of movement when he heard my voice. Then he passed. It was fast. MDS takes you fast.
But the pain he lived with due to War and to illness was not. It festered.
I am grateful to Veterans so very deeply and sad for what they have had to endure and sorry. Will miss the good parts of him but not the bad.
We need to address our toxins and our Wars people.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Much peace to you and your family.
I am sorry to hear of your father's passing, but glad he is relieved of his suffering.
Tikki
WWII. 25th Div 35th Infantry. PFC. The war never really left him. For our dads:
For all of our dads like this.....
Daddy: US Army Aircorps, WII and US Army Korea
Dale, my sweet father-in-law: US Navy, Pacific Theater, WWII
Leroy: 5th Special Forces, Viet Nam, 1966, 1967, 1968
Brad: 101st Airborne, Viet Nam, 1969, 1970
Danny: USMC, Viet Nam, 1968, 1969, 1970
Amen. The ones who went before paved the way for those of us who chose to fight on.
and prayers of peace going to you and your family.
sincerest sympathy to you and yours.
Peace...
It sounds like he gave every bit of himself for our country, and we should be grateful. Unfortunately our gratitude is not enough to cover you and your family's suffering.
My deepest condolences to you.
Be comforted that he is now free from the physical and/or mental pain/memories that all veterans bring home from being in combat.
Granted, there are some good memories and friendships that will never be forgotten...
Take care of yourself during this time.
Good thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
… May that comfort you for a long, long time… The good memories DO go on.
It's so true, as well - what we should address, and this helps so many others in similar conditions to live in that hope.
we had no idea of what it was until several years ago when my husband was diagnosed, fortunately he was in his late fifties and we just celebrated his 'second birthday' of four years post transplant.
"We need to address our toxins and our Wars people."
I so agree with your above statement! There has been discussion on marrowforums of MDS and agent orange.
http://forums.marrowforums.org/showthread.php?t=1200
Wishing you strength and that the ugly times are overshadowed by the good memories.
but I've read several cases in the past few years where the person was quite young. MDS, secondary MDS, can also come about from other chemo drugs, for example some drugs for breast cancer.
Be as well as you can be during this difficult period.
California Congresswoman Fighting For Legislation That Could Have Prevented Husband's Death
http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/washington-whispers/2012/07/17/california-congresswoman-fighting-for-legislation-that-could-have-prevented-husbands-death
"... Bob Matsui's pneumonia was a complication from Myelodysplastic syndrome, a stem cell disorder that is rare, not very well understood and affects 12,000-15,000 people a year, according to the MDS-focused foundation AAMDS...
...Throughout the long political career of her husband, who served 14 consecutive terms as a California congressman, Doris Matsui donned increasingly more important hats: housewife, socialite, Clinton campaign volunteer, then public liason in the White House.
And when Bob Matsui died in 2005 just days after he entered the hospital with pneumonia, Doris took on that role too—replacing her husband as the representative for California's 5th congressional district.
Bob Matsui's pneumonia was a complication from Myelodysplastic syndrome, a stem cell disorder that is rare, not very well understood and affects 12,000-15,000 people a year, according to the MDS-focused foundation AAMDS..."
we've had this discussion.
Bottom line, IMHO, is to always question and go with your gut when told something is safe.
just finished watching Frontline tonight "The Trouble with Antibiotics."
All we can do is try and remain vigilant while still living our lives. It is all a balancing act and we can only hope we have tipped the scales in our favor with some choices we make.
Hope you are doing well.
to try and find something positive in the negative.
So much easier to say than to do!
Wishing you hugs ... for a long time 
indeed - wars last a lifetime.
Peace to you ---
All kinds of hugs on your loss. So sorry. 
deepest condolences go out to you also, glinda. He knew you were there; that's the best anyone can do, I think.
There were 4 guys from his division that he still kept in contact with who died of it too. Who knows what they were exposed to back then. ALS is the most horrific disease I've ever seen. He went from tromping around in the woods & chopping down trees in December 1999 to not being able to lift a spoon in June 2000. He refused any artificial means to stay alive, so he passed away on June 5, 2000, 2 days shy of his 76th birthday, and 15 days shy of mine. Condolences on losing your dad, glinda. I miss mine every single day.
That would be the best epitaph for your dad, glinda. The best legacy he could possibly leave. And the best bequest he could pass on to you. Because we DO! We NEED to address our toxins and our wars. Especially our wars that leave so much damage behind, and I'm not talking only about wreckage and destruction and broken buildings and infrastructure. The broken PEOPLE left behind.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I'm even sadder about your dad's suffering for all those years. Thank you so much for sharing his story and for inviting us in to mourn with you. We all need to carry this forward in our hearts - AND in our actions and our activism, so more of our soldiers and our veterans don't have this kind of agony in their future.
I'm dreadfully sorry for the pain your father's service to his country caused.
Someone on DU posted this a few years ago & this poem haunts me like no other.
Wheat fell headless in the field
Till Death did reap enough.
We seek to bury the revealed
No earth is deep enough.
You cannot wash the stains from minds
No one can weep enough.
Nor shut the past behind the blinds
No night has sleep enough.
--Study member
For those interested, the source for the poem can be found at http://www.dtic.mil/cgi-bin/GetTRDoc?AD=ADA319601
A 50-Year Prospective Study of the
Psychological Sequelae of World War II
Combat
and you be at peace as well.
From mustard gas to IR, we have been totally irresponsible to our servicemen and women. My brother-in-law died from Agent Orange (2 tours in Viet Nam) and this was only acknowledged by our government 2 years after his passing.
My heart hurts for you.
I wish we would do more for all of our veterans.
from pain, and mental anguish my condolences.
Peace to you and yours.
My father, 84, has something similar called myelofibrosis, diagnosed last year. It's a bone marrow disease which the doctor says makes the bone marrow thick and rough like tree bark. His spleen has taken over making new blood, which is very hard on him. He's had transfusions, takes a cancer drug at $1000 a pop, twice a day. He's too old to get a bone marrow transplant.
But he still works. He's slowed down, and some days he comes home early, but he would die if he had to sit at home. And make my mother crazy (she had breast cancer two years ago, nearly dying from complications from the surgery).
It's hard knowing Daddy is going to die before his time from this. We expected him to live into his 90s, like most of his family, but the expectancy from this is five years.
Daddy was too young for WWII, but served in Korea, and spent many years in the National Guard.
Just spoke to someone whose father served in Korea and he passed in his late 50's from a heart condition that they believed was from serving there. They did not try to prove it but it was chemical related they were sure. My heart is with you, your family on the suffering experienced now from back then. He and no one deserves this. It is a series of hostile and heartless diseases.
My heart goes out right now to those in California whose aquifers are contaminated with tracking chems which are some of the same chems used in wars.
What is wrong with this picture, huh? Same chems, same companies, same end game of fossil fuels.