I remember when I was about 6 a friend played with my ding dong...

[titaniumsalute]

...and I played with his. It was curiosity. I remember it felt weird and rather uncomfortable. After a few minutes we decided to stop and go back to playing whatever else boys do. It was never discussed after that point. We are still friends today. Who knows if he even remembers. He initiated it but I would never think of it now as sexual abuse.

I also remember at about age 9 or 10 an older neighbor girl (probably 13 or 14) pinned my down and stuck her tongue down my throat for what seemed like forever. i thought it was gross and didn't like being held down like that. I still know her as well and she ended up a beautiful wife and mother of 3 great kids.

A few years ago my son was 8. He has an older brother (at that time he was 14.) While at recess one day he was hanging out with four girls. They were apparently talking about anatomy (not really knowing what they were actually talking about.) One girl told the teacher and they pulled my kid (the boy) into the office for a discussion. He didn't really get into trouble and we had a very frank discussion about what is proper and not to discuss with others. He was most upset because he says that the girls started the whole thing...why didn't they get an office visit as well.

For anyone that has had kids you probably have similar stories. Maybe you have your own from childhood. Maybe it is taboo to talk about these things in public. I don't know Lena Dunham or her TV show. It seems maybe she went for some shock value in her book. But I don't think we can condem someone for their physical actions at such a young age.

[Mike Nelson]

1. All of the behavior you describe sounds normal...

...to me. I have no idea who Lena Durham is or what she has to do with the topic.

[titaniumsalute]

3. Lena Duhnam is an actress

She wrote a book with some stories about playing around and being sexually curious about her sister. She went into some graphic detail I guess and now a number of blogs are ripping her a new one.

http://fox8.com/2014/11/04/lena-dunham-responds-to-allegations-that-she-sexually-abused-her-sister/

[Nuclear Unicorn]

25. Childhood curiosity is one thing but when a 17-year old Lena masturbates in bed with her

pre-pubescent sister lying in bed next to her she has to realize the problem isn't with the people calling her out.

[Mike Nelson]

35. Okay, I see

I'm not an expert on what she did and/or how age appropriate that was...

[meow2u3]

2. Do you mean one of these?

[titaniumsalute]

4. Exactly!!

LOL. That was really funny...

[uppityperson]

16. Why do adults have such a difficult time with the word penis? Even on a forum, using euphemisms

seems really odd.

Penis. Labia. Genitals. Not dingdong, hoohaw, private parts. We are adults and can use these words with each other.

[titaniumsalute]

24. Not difficult at all...

People pointing out euphemisms on a board is just as odd. Come on, lighten up.

I could have called it my Rick Scott.

[Skittles]

38. I think the OP is referring to the context when they were children

that sounds more like what children might call them

[titaniumsalute]

8. I'm sorry but I haven't read about the continued sexual abuse for years

regarding Lena Dunham. Everything I've read (which isn't much) were the two incidents of the candy for kissing and the checking out her sister's vagina when she was 7. Where's the news about the continued sexual abuse for years? If that is the case that changes the whole situation.

[B2G]

9. Her younger sister slept in her bed

until Lena was 17. She recounted laying in bed next to her masturbating.

Creepy enough for you?

[titaniumsalute]

10. Yes probably creepy...

...but is masturbating next to someone sexual abuse? Probably not.

[bettyellen]

20. Didn't she say that her sister BEGGED her because she was frightened to sleep alone?

And she would screw with her head, and say no, then relent? I don't see the enticing?

[titaniumsalute]

21. i haven't read the book.

I think there's a lot of "I heard the book says..." yet actual quotes seem lacking. I'm not buying her book. I really don't care about her or her TV show.

I DID see however that the one blog named had to release a correction that had her at 17 years old, not seven years old. Is that making this more confusing??

[bettyellen]

29. from the little I read here, the vagina story Lena was 7, sister in diapers.....

and it was a one off. The sleeping thing was quoted here- saying the sleeping thing went on till Lena was 17. But it was all the sister's ide- not Lena's. She would torture her a bit and say no at first, and that was the only abusive thing about it.
I'm sure her sister is mortified, but it doesn;t seem like abuse to me at all.

[titaniumsalute]

31. Yes I agree that sounded like a mean thing to do

But good Lord the stuff my sister and I did to each other (nothing sexual of course) ...and the things my wife said she and her two sisters did to each other is amazing we all survived childhood.

[bettyellen]

43. yeah, I think the whole story got twisted and it's unfortunate....

But that is going to happen if you over share weird childhood shit. I'd really be pissed if I was her sister, but I guess that is their business.

[titaniumsalute]

44. My wife had two sisters

She was middle...and mean apparently. Her older sister tells a story how mu wife hit her with a metal foldeing chair in a fight once. I'd say that was pretty hardcore physical abuse.

Now all three sisters (albeit physically far apart) are very close.

[bettyellen]

45. I grew up in a big family, things often got mildly violent. I remember my oldest brother throwing

a fork at another brother, and it just stuck in the side of hi shead for a minute, before it dropped! We were all looking at the holes for tines after!
He threw a pencil at my leg and the lead stuck in, still have a tiny scar there.
There were a lot of little fights that got out of hand.

[VanillaRhapsody]

26. a child is a pervert now?

[MattBaggins]

23. Definitely yes

[SalviaBlue]

17. Siblings have been sleeping together since time began...

It is only in very recent history that siblings (or moms and dads for the matter) have had the privilege (?) of sleeping alone. I'm sure many big bro/sis have masturbated while the younger sibling slept. Not creepy at all. Normal.

[titaniumsalute]

22. When my kids were much younger

my wife and I would occasionally get it on in the same hotel room. Nothing earth shattering, loud, ridiculous...but the kids were in the next bed. Is that sexual abuse of the kids? No fucking way.

[titaniumsalute]

40. You have proven that you are clueless...

Making things up to create your argument. Keep going. Humor me. You seem extremely stuck up on sex. I imagine that everytime you turn on the TV you see sexual abuse as well correct?

[Aerows]

36. My sister was six years older than me.

We slept in individual twin beds. I have no idea what she did in hers, but the most frightening thing that happened in mine was when a roach got into my nightgown and I awoke the house.

She's straight. I'm a lesbian. Neither has anything to do with either of us because we weren't sexualized by each other.

If you are whacking off next to your sibling in the same bed, something isn't right with you. Sorry to state it so plainly, but it's the truth.

And I have absolutely no idea who Lena Duham is.

[titaniumsalute]

41. So the moral of the story is the cockroach made you a lesbian?

[Aerows]

42. Probably

[NCTraveler]

6. Your story doesn't really contain repeated behavior. nt.

[TwilightGardener]

7. I was only vaguely aware of who Dunham is, I don't have HBO and don't care to get it.

That said, from the limited amount of stuff I've read about her upbringing, she was apparently raised in a very oversexed, troubled family (a lack of boundaries there), and possibly was molested/abused herself, given her behavior.

[Bluenorthwest]

14. I love HBO. Did not care for her show, which takes up a half hour late on a Sunday....

However, the fact that HBO is a company that hires young women to produce a show she created is a positive about HBO, even if I don't care for the show.
I'd hate to be missing Vice. And HBO documentaries are among the best. Here's one for example, about domestic violence.
http://www.privateviolence.com/

I also love then for this: Anna Deavere Smith: A Young Artist's Masterclass
http://www.hbo.com/#/schedule/series/documentaries/0000

[snooper2]

11. It's okay, your parents let you watch Beavis and Butthead

[titaniumsalute]

13. My Mom HATED that show...of course my dad pretended to hate it but watched it when she wasn't home..

[ecstatic]

12. There's two separate issues here

1. You can't hold a 7-year-old responsible for inappropriate actions. Parents are responsible for monitoring their children's activities. As others have pointed out, Lena was most likely molested herself.

2. Point 1 doesn't change the fact that there is a victim in all this: Lena's sister. Lena may not have been mature enough or capable of understanding what she was doing, but it still happened. When you're molested, the age of the person molesting you doesn't matter that much. That poor child had rocks forcibly inserted into her vagina and God only knows what else happened. The stuff we do know- the stuff that Lena felt comfortable admitting- is horrifying enough.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

15. I kept waiting for the humorous reveal in the body of this post.

You know, something like this:



But no. Never came.

[Jamastiene]

28. That is the first time I have heard is called a ding dong in a long time.

Gave me a good chuckle.

The girls should have had to go to the office too, if he did, imo.

[rock]

30. What a straight man you are

[titaniumsalute]

32. One of my favorite songs of all time...

[KitSileya]

33. We can debate whether she is an abuser,

But since we have no known consent from the sister on the telling of these stories, we damn well know that Lena Dunham still doesn't care about consent or boundaries. These aren't only her own stories to tell - they are her sister's as well. Lena may have no problems with telling everything about herself, but her sister is an autonomous human being, even if Lena has said that she does not see her sister as such, but rather as "an extension of myself." (Which, euuuw!) Her sister has said that Lena outed her without her consent, and that she has a problem with Lena's inability to keep her sister's secrets private. That makes Lena Dunham an inconsiderate asshole at best, and a manipulating, abusive asshole at worst. That we most certainly can condemn her for.

[titaniumsalute]

34. I agree with you

I didn't know her sister said those things but frankly airing dirty laundry for profit and shock value is a rather abusive move in and of itself.

[nomorenomore08]

39. That's what it's really about. Lack of respect for her sister's boundaries and privacy. n/t