The Onion: Overworked prosecutor thinking of taking police brutality case for vacation
In case you aren't up on what The Onion is, it's satire. You can follow the link but this is all there is.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/overworked-prosecutor-thinking-of-taking-police-br,37597/
CLEVELAND—Reasoning that he has earned some much-needed rest and relaxation, overworked Cuyahoga County prosecutor Brian Gorman told reporters Thursday that he is thinking of taking on a police brutality case as a nice little vacation. “Honestly, I’ve had a pretty grueling caseload over the past few months, so I’m looking forward to just kicking back, throwing together some halfhearted spiel about the broad powers of police, and letting the grand jury spit out an acquittal,” said Gorman, adding that, without any real pressure to secure an indictment, he’ll be able to take his foot off the gas at work for a few weeks and recharge his batteries during the proceedings to determine whether there is enough evidence to bring charges against a police officer accused of killing a suspect. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got to show up and establish that I’ve been building a case, but nobody is really going to ride me too hard on this. I did one of these a year ago, so it should be the same dog and pony show where I roll out whatever evidence the department handed over and let the jury ruminate on all the gaping holes in the case I was unable to fully address. Then they’ll say there’s no probable cause and I get to go home.” Despite looking forward to the case, Gorman told reporters that he expects to be completely swamped with work prosecuting protesters arrested in the days following the acquittal.
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