Kids misbehaving? Georgia barber will give them the "grown-up kids special"

[Liberal_in_LA]

Barber gives embarrassing haircuts to misbehaving kids

"So you wana act grown...well now you can look grown too". The grown-up kids special by: @rusty_fred GOT TO REACH EM SOMEHOW....






A barbershop in Georgia has come up with a creative way to encourage good behavior - an "old man" haircut.

A few times a week, the shop offers a free "Benjamin Button Special" haircut to kids who are acting up.

The cut resembles the hairstyle you might see on a senior citizen, with a balding top, and a little bit of hair on the sides.

http://www.wilx.com/news/headlines/Georgia-Barber-Offers-Old-Man-Haircuts-for-Naughty-Kids-290828331.html


A Georgia barber is offering a unique service to help misbehaving kids clean up their act.

Russell Frederick is the co-owner of A-1 Kutz Salon in Snellville.

He said he had to start disciplining his child when he was acting up and getting bad grades.

“I shaved his head bald,” Frederick said. “I told him that next time, I would do that particular cut.”

He said his tactic was surprisingly effective.
- See more at: http://www.wpxi.com/news/news/national/local-barber-gives-embarrassing-haircuts-misbehavi/nj4hc/?ref=cbTopWidget#sthash.HbyOXSlx.dpuf

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. I really think this is a mistake.

Yeah, it'll work in the short term, but at what cost?

It's better than spanking, but like that, it's abusive, IMHO.

There has to be a better way to reach these children.

[Liberal_in_LA]

3. yes. Internet is criticizing this parenting tactic

http://www.ajc.com/news/news/readers-react-barbers-haircut-discipline-just-bein/nj4mg/

Readers react to barber's haircut discipline: 'Just being a bully'

----

Fredrick told the Washington Post that the "special" was designed as a response to scrutiny about corporal punishment. “When you go to discipline kids these days, they can’t necessarily use physical punishment they way parents did in the past, but they have to do something," he said. "If you don’t, and your kid ends up doing something crazy, everyone is going to say the problems started at home.”

But a psychotherapist told the Post that "lots of research that supports the fact that when a child is blamed or shamed it triggers their nervous system, and when the nervous system is shut down, it is directly connected to the brain."

Days after posting the original image of the haircut, Fredrick posted an update: "The pic went so crazy over the net that I had to fix it today." The good news, he wrote, is that the child didn't want any more problems.

[Terra Alta]

5. agreed, shaming a child into behaving is not effective

and can, in fact, cause a lot of psychological harm in the long run. This is wrong on so many levels.

[Cleita]

7. Reminds me of when teachers made a kid sit in front of the class

with gum stuck on his nose for chewing gum in class so the other kids can laugh at him. I found this tactic abusive as well.

[Jackpine Radical]

2. Pretty damn sick, if ya ask me.

Right up there in a league with Arpaio's pink underwear.

Often enough, shame is one of the driving forces in misbehavior. Piling on more shame is not helpful.

[NaturalHigh]

9. Children are one thing...

but I have no problem at all with adults in jail suffering the "embarrassment" of pink underwear.

[Jackpine Radical]

13. How much experience do you have with adult criminals?

[NaturalHigh]

14. Not much, fortunately.

[Jackpine Radical]

21. I spent more than 20 years as a criminal forensic psychologist.

I estimate that I have done 2500 in-depth psychological evaluations of criminals. You get to see some patterns. The whole shame thing is a big part of what is going on here.

Do you understand the distinction between shame & guilt?

[NaturalHigh]

35. Really? That's very interesting.

I'm very interested in forensic psychology, but I've only had the basic psychology courses. I would imagine you have some interesting stories to tell. Do you watch any of the television shows based on forensic psychology (Criminal Minds, etc.), or all they all just way off base?

Yes, I understand the distinction between shame and guilt.

[Jackpine Radical]

36. I don't watch much TV of any kind, actually.

And crime shows would probably be on the bottom of my list.

My essential point about shame v. guilt is that shame attaches to the person (I'm worthless), while guilt attaches to the act (I did a bad thing). It is quite common for "habitual criminals" to have internalized the messages of shame--that they are worthless, that they are incapable of doing better--and these shame messages convince the person they can't change, that they aren't worth trying to salvage, etc. It's essentially a form of learned helplessness--helplessness to dhange their lives.

I have had muggers tell me in all seriousness that the crime wasn't their fault--"What did she expect to happen if she was gonna walk alone after dark in that district?" The fault is the victim's because the criminal knows deep inside that he is such a worthless piece of humanity that nobody could expect him to avoid committing the crime. He's just a shark, doing what sharks do, and she was an idiot to be in shark-infested waters.

[NaturalHigh]

38. Food for thought.

[Terra Alta]

4. not only is it embarrassing

but it opens the kids up to being teased and bullied by classmates. I think this will do far more damage than good. It is never good to shame a child into behaving.

[Jackpine Radical]

37. I absolutely agree.

[Brickbat]

6. Humiliation is rarely a strong motivator; more often, it simply creates resentment.

[notadmblnd]

8. Making a child apoligize for a wrong committed against another

can be embarrassing and humiliating too. As a child- I think I would have rather had the belt than to have to look someone in the eye and tell them I was sorry. Would my mother have been considered abusive? What in your opinion would be an appropriate way to correct a child's misbehavior?

[Brickbat]

15. Apologies do not correct misbehavior.

If you are looking to correct misbehavior, you redirect, model, remove what's being broken, express displeasure productively, remove privileges, and so on, depending on the child's age and the circumstances. If you are looking to punish without learning, then go for humiliation. I've heard people say they preferred getting beaten for punishment when they were younger, because when it was over, it was over. Which also goes to show it wasn't effective.

[notadmblnd]

17. I didn't ask you that.

[Brickbat]

18. Oh, you want an answer about your mom's hypothetical actions?

Yes, I would have considered it abusive if she hit you.

[notadmblnd]

19. trouble reading what I wrote?

I asked what do you think is an appropriate method of correcting mis behaving children and whether or not my mother was abusive for punishing us by making us apologize. I did not claim that making a child apologize was an effective method of correcting misbehavior, which is the information that you offered up to me instead.

[Brickbat]

20. Trouble's all yours, bud.

I gave a list of what I believe are appropriate methods of correcting the behavior of misbehaving children. Not knowing how your mother "made you" apologize, I can't offer an opinion on it. I would not consider simply asking, in a neutral tone, for you to say "I'm sorry" to someone else abusive.

[kcr]

22. Parents who use belts are abusive

As are the parents who think cutting their kids hair to make them look like old people to shame them.

[notadmblnd]

23. yeah, a couple of people telling me what abusive is

However, I'm not asking that. What I'm trying to get answered- is what the poster feels is the appropriate actions that one can take when correcting unwanted behavior from a child?

[kcr]

24. Are belts and bad haircuts the only solution?

Why would you ask that?

[notadmblnd]

26. I never claimed belts and bad haircuts were appropriate. I only asked what is?

I made no statement as to what I feel is appropriate or not. I
I've simply asked what is, and so far, it hasn't been answered.

[kcr]

27. Probably because the question doesn't make sense

Why would someone ask that question unless they thought those were the only solutions or they somehow really only knew of those two solutions and were genuinely asking for more information. The latter isn't very likely, so you'll probably get ignored.

[notadmblnd]

29. no, your logic doesn't make sense

My question does not imply that I agree with the method used in the article. No way, no how. I explained why I asked the question, if you think I'm lying about why I asked the question- then so be it.

[kcr]

30. I mus have missed it beause I odn't see where you explained it

You may also want to go back and reread the discussion because at least one poster has answered.

[notadmblnd]

32. you're right. I didn't explain. I started to, then deleted it. I apologize for that.

And as for the one who did answer, it was fairly generic and other than taking away privleges- offered no specific actions one could take that the poster would feel was appropriate. "Express displeasure productively", what is that? More specifically exactly how is that effective? "Remove whats being broken", how is that effective discipline? It's simply removing an object, it's not discipline.

[kcr]

33. Is there an answer other than beatings that would satisfy? Because that was a perfectly good answer.

[notadmblnd]

34. there's lots of them. I managed to raise mine without hitting/beating/abusing

[LuvNewcastle]

10. I think that barber enjoys punishing kids.

Anybody who would post pictures on the internet saying, 'come to my shop and I'll punish your kids for you' is someone I would steer clear of.

[cwydro]

11. Oh ffs,

hair grows out.

You should have seen the haircut I gave myself at 6. My mom was so angry at me that she would not take me to have it fixed (not that it could have been lol). We still have pictures of the horror.

I survived. I still love my mom. It's a huge joke and the damn pictures are still in the family album!! Gah!

[woo me with science]

12. Glad to see the responses to this.

We marinate in propaganda and a culture that encourages punitive, retaliatory, and hateful solutions.

We need to do everything possible to grow a counter-movement that celebrates compassion and teaching, instead.

[LWolf]

16. It's either going to humiliate kids,

which isn't an acceptable method of discipline, or it's going to backfire.

Hopefully, none of my students will see this. I shudder to think of the "Benjamin Button" cut becoming the newest hair fad. Imagine looking across a classroom full of them.

[AngryAmish]

25. Those kids are paying taxes.

[blogslut]

28. not cool

I say this as a former cosmetologist. This is not cool.

[Tom Ripley]

31. The George Jefferson is not appropriate