Colbert Uses Epic Star Wars Analogy To Explain 2012 GOP Race

[Capt. Obvious]

Say the Republicans are the Rebel Alliance and the Democrats are the Death Star. And Admiral Ackbar has to decide who’s gonna to fight Darth Vader. You’ve got Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and another fraternity, let’s say the Romulans. So the guys who don’t fly with Red 5 are going to be pissed for a while, they’ll also be mad. They’ll want to fly right through the Stargate on Battlestar Galactica and take a vacation in Cloud City. But by the time the game time comes along, the TIE fighters, forget it. They don’t care who sends the proton torpedo down the thermal exhaust port as long as they save Yavin 4. So that’s two things: they want to blow up the Death Star and they hate the dark side.”

Got all that? In other words: “Republicans who didn’t support Mitt Romney will come together because they want to defeat Barack Obama. Ah, that’s too complicated,” Colbert said.

http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/05/colbert-star-wars-romney-gingrich-gop.php

My sides hurt after watching this

[longship]

1. Thank goodness there was no Jar-Jar

I was sweating it a bit.

But... Maybe Mitt is Jar-Jar. Now there's a thought.

[Capt. Obvious]

2. Ron Paul is Jar-Jar

Fuck Jar-Jar