Michelle Bachmann: The Rapture Is Imminent Thanks To Gay Marriage & President Obama

[big_dog]

In an interview with End Times broadcaster Jan Markell that was aired this weekend, former Rep. Michele Bachmann said that people should “not despair but rejoice” that the world has reached the “midnight hour” and that “we in our lifetimes potentially could see Jesus Christ returning to earth and the Rapture of the church.”

The former Republican congresswoman from Minnesota said that President Obama’s policies, including support for marriage equality and nuclear negotiations with Iran, are to blame for the world’s imminent demise. “We need to realize how close this clock is to getting towards the midnight hour,” Bachmann said. “Barack Obama is intent, it is his number one goal, to ensure that Iran has a nuclear weapon.”

Bachmann made similar comments in the first half of her interview with Markell, which aired last week, insisting that Obama’s presidency will bring about natural and economic disasters along with the arrival of the Last Days. After Bachmann said that Obama intends to “lift up the agenda of radical Islam,” Markell added that legal abortion and marriage equality for gays and lesbians are bringing about divine punishment on America.“You are right,” Bachmann responded, lamenting that God will soon lift His “hedge of protection” over “pagan” America “and we will suffer the consequences as a result.”

“That’s why so many Christians I think are sad and despairing because we know what the word of God says,” she said. “But it is also a chastening as individual believers for our good and that, to me, is extremely exciting.”

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-rapture-imminent-thanks-gay-marriage-obama#sthash.1dTIDGZA.dpuf

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. I hope she gets raptured so we won't have to hear from her any more.

In fact, I hope the whole sorry lot of Bible-bangers gets taken away tout suite. I could use a new car.

[Eleanors38]

6. Sounds like she's about to have a rupture. nm

[Cleita]

11. My thoughts exactly. I'm tired of listening about it and

having people like her in office whose poor decisions affect the daily lives of myself and others. Go away all of you nut jobs and leave the rest of us be.

[hifiguy]

26. Yep, there should be a lot of nice cars and houses

just waiting for liberation after the fly-eating nitwits go away.

But we will have to take care of their abandoned pets, too.

[justhanginon]

41. I call dibs on Joel Osteens red Ferrari. Always wanted one

and this is probably my only shot. Unfortunately at 77 years old I may no longer be able to get in and out of the damn thing.

[catbyte]

2. Christ on a cracker. That's the perfect place for her, though--on a quack "End Times" radio show.

A fitting place for her ass in which to land.

[Nay]

3. How could this raving maniac ever be elected to any office? If anything is the sign

of the End Times it's the fact that this moron has any say in anything.

[notadmblnd]

32. That's how you know that elections can be rigged

I think the Republicans have this vote flipping thing down pat now.

[hifiguy]

37. I dunno. I'm a Minnesotan; we have a lot of snowbillies

and plenty of them are in her former district and are just as dumb and gullible as she is. Teh Stupids are in every state.

[notadmblnd]

42. I still find it hard to believe they are the majority

if they are.. you can shoot me now

[hifiguy]

44. In her old district they probably were/are.

Very exurban, lotsa gun worshipers, plenty of bigots and faux libertarians or religulous looneys.

[spanone]

4. God must have missed the crusades and the caligula period, on vacation i guess.

and that holocaust thing should have got him riled up...but i guess the black President and teh gays was the last straw.

[closeupready]

5. Brilliant minds - was just gonna post this - anyone here speak in tongues?

And can translate this gibberish, going on about childbirth as Armageddon, and her Jonestown-y bullshit?

[big_dog]

16. great minds think alike!

indeed...

[longship]

20. No, but the farting preacher can.

Here is Jesus Christ revealed for all.

And whatever you do, send a big check.

[calimary]

55. O. M. G.

Is this for real???? Almost doesn't matter - I was crying with laughter!

[MineralMan]

7. Fly away Michele. Please.

[bluedigger]

8. So can I have her stuff?

It's not like she'll be needing it.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

9. Hey Michelle

The rapture wasn't part of Christian theology till John Darby invented it in 1830. Facts are stubborn things.

http://www.bible.ca/rapture-origin-john-nelson-darby-1830ad.htm

[big_dog]

12. I get my exclusive rapture news from Jack Van Impe on Wednesdays at 1:30 AM Eastern Time

Last edited Mon Apr 20, 2015, 11:21 PM - Edit history (1)

n/t

[longship]

21. And don't forget Rexella!

[hifiguy]

25. That is just creepy as shit.

[big_dog]

47. my favorite is the voice over announcer guy, the whole show is comedy gold

Rexalla was on last week in a taped segment about 14 face lifts ago singing about Jeebuses return from the grave for Easter

[longship]

48. I had an apartment within a half mile of their headquarters in the late 70's.

I watched Jack and Rexella regularly, in between Movies hosted by Bill Kennedy. The Kennedy movies were by far the better of the two choices because at least Bill was not entirely sober, plus he knew an awful lot about cinema. But Rexella was high entertainment, if only for her simpering adoration of Jack.

You can take away with this story what you will.

[Archae]

49. My friends and I used to "MST3K" them.

Jack and Rexella.

We'd sit around watching, laughing, ad-libbing.

[longship]

50. Oh! Now that absolutely had to be high art!

It had to be like the farting preacher (posted somewhere else here in this thread).

Hell, I'll post it again.

Indeed, Jack is as mad as a hatter. The world going to end Real Soon Now (tm). So he always says.

My best to you.

[RKP5637]

10. Oh, thank you God, oh thank you so much! Hopefully this means these fools will

float off to wherever and leave the rest of us the fuck alone!

[Enrique]

13. that's a good thing, right?

if the End Times are coming, might as well get it over with

[RKP5637]

17. That's what I think. Don't put off 'till tomorrow what you might be

able to get done today! Go for it Michelle! Please don't forget to post some youtube videos!

[Vinca]

14. If this means Bachmann and her ilk will be swept off the earth, bring it on.

[3catwoman3]

18. Agreed. I will be more than happy...

...to be left behind with the rest of the rational people on the planet.

[mercuryblues]

15. any Du'ers in her area

Please go to the good will store and buy a bunch of outfits, shoes socks underwear, watches, baby strollers, bottle etc. and lay them out on her lawn. Take pictures when she sees this and realizes she wasn't raptured.

[3catwoman3]

19. I would pay...

...to see that!

[mercuryblues]

39. I'd buy the video

I could not be there in person. I would be laughing so hard you would have to call an ambulance.

"MARRRRRCUUUUSSSS we weren't raptured. Thanks OOOOObammmaa!"

[hifiguy]

24. I like that.

It's sneaky, devious and funny all at once.

[drm604]

29. And get a couple of inflatable sex dolls

dress them in robes with angel wings, and fill them with helium.

[hifiguy]

31. That is a

NICE touch.

[mercuryblues]

40. LOL

[calimary]

56. OMG!!!!

GREAT idea!!!!

That'd scramble a few brains (I use that word advisedly in this case), wouldn't it?!

[gratuitous]

22. Why don't you go ahead without us, Michele? We'll catch up

Quick, lock the door!

Seriously though; I'm getting real tired of this nonsense, which is almost always used as an excuse to not do anything about an increasingly fucked-up world. "Oh, don't worry about that global warming (not that there is such a thing anyway)! You should all be worried more about eternal warming . . . in Hell!"

[hifiguy]

23. This dingbat and all those who think like her

need to be locked up and medicated.

STFU and disappear, you delusional dipshit.

[arcane1]

27. That's GOOD NEWS, right? Isn't this what they've been waiting for?

Obama is a hero, in that case!

[ProfessorGAC]

36. That's Where I Was Going

She says this like it's a bad thing, when the very point she's trying to make should be making everyone who believes this silliness ecstatic.

She can't even keep her lies straight. Too many of them by now, i'd guess.

[hifiguy]

38. When you have a two-volt brain like Batshit does

it doesn't take much to get you orfully konfoozled.

[Lint Head]

28. Well... rapture your ass on up there Michelle from hell.

[polichick]

30. Please Jesus, rapture this woman already!

[KamaAina]

33. I see Bachmann Loser Overdrive is still takin' care of business.

[Yavin4]

34. Could we sell them rapture insurance policies?

In exchange for a small fee of $10,000, we will pay them $1 million when the rapture comes and they don't get raptured.

[Erose999]

35. We're from the rapture, Mrs. Bachmann......

Come with us... we're taking you "home".

[SummerSnow]

46. her future...

[bulloney]

43. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard one of these rapture "authorities"

state they know when the end times are coming, I'd be a very wealthy man.

Yet, doesn't the Bible state that nobody knows when the end will come? Kind of flies in the face of these charlatans' self-proclaimed "expertise" when you think about it.

[ohheckyeah]

57. They've all had

one thing in common - they were wrong.

[SummerSnow]

45. Why don't she just become a nun and get it over it

[Hekate]

51. So why the hell is this ditz in politics instead of home praying?

Things that make you scratch your head.

[damnedifIknow]

52. The woman is a nut

A complete cuckoo.

[Thinkingabout]

53. Marcus must have some type of therapy and now she tinks she is God.

[Buns_of_Fire]

58. What sister Michele doesn't know (and I do, having friends in Rapture Central) is that

the rapture is actually a two-step process (it's a logistical thing).

The brain gets raptured first. The body goes at some later date.

My contact at Rapture Central told me that, in fact, Michele's brain was raptured -- several years ago.

Explains a lot, doesn't it? I hope that clears things up. You're welcome.

[Martin Eden]

59. Was Michelle's brain "raptured" ...

... or "ruptured" ??

[randome]

60. Someone hurry and tell Marcus that she's 'excited'.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]You should never stop having childhood dreams.[/center][/font][hr]

[Atman]

61. If she were saying this on a street corner it would be called...

...MENTAL ILLNESS and she'd be taken away for observation.

But she's a rich ex-Congress critter. Oh, btw...when is her gay husband going to be struck down for his sinful abomination?