The hideous white hypocrisy behind the Baltimore “Hero Mom” hype: How clueless media applause excuse

[DonViejo]

The hideous white hypocrisy behind the Baltimore “Hero Mom” hype: How clueless media applause excuses police brutality

Praising a mom for beating her son suggests only violence can discipline black kids. And she doesn't feel heroic

JOAN WALSH

Baltimore’s “Hero Mom” has a name. It’s Toya Graham.

And the woman lionized nationwide for beating her 16-year-old son on camera, and dragging him away from Monday night’s riots, doesn’t feel at all like a hero.

“I don’t. I don’t,” Graham told CBS “This Morning” on Wednesday. “My intention was just to get my son and have him be safe.” Later in the interview, Graham confesses, “I just lost it.” (Watch the whole thing at the end of this post.)

Her moment of losing it made her a hero to much of white America – and not just to the right. Coast to coast, the media is hyping Graham as “Hero Mom” and her on-camera beating as “Tough Love.” It’s not just Fox News or the “New York Post,” whose tabloid “Send in the Moms” front page this time reflects rather than rebukes the mainstream media. And that’s heartbreaking.

The debate over the moment Graham says she “lost it” is complex. There’s a parallel black debate going on that, as always when it comes to racial issues, is richer and more nuanced. But anyone white who’s applauding Graham’s moment of desperation, along with the white media figures who are hyping her “heroism,” is essentially justifying police brutality, and saying the only way to control black kids is to beat the shit out of them.

more + video:
http://www.salon.com/2015/04/29/the_hideous_white_hypocrisy_behind_the_baltimore_%E2%80%9Chero_mom%E2%80%9D_hype_how_clueless_media_applause_excuses_police_brutality/

[bravenak]

1. She was scared.

I can only imagine how scared she was. I would probably do the same. I'd regret it, I don't want to hit my kids, they wouldn't like it.

[jwirr]

8. I'm with you. I am white but I think she was terrified and he was trying to disregard her desparate

attempt to get him out of there as quickly as possible.

I think all this about abuse is forgetting the real danger he was in. The real terror she felt. Also to assume that she abuses him on a regular basis - we have no evidence of that.

[bravenak]

12. Exactly.

With how the police treat black youth, I bet she saw flashes of his dead body in her head. I agree, I don't think she beats her kid either. Fear can make people act in desperation.

[pnwmom]

53. That's not the point. Yes, she was scared. But much of the media was applauding her for

not being afraid to discipline her son. It's the media I mostly fault here, not the frightened mother. They shouldn't be holding up her frightened, out-of-control behavior as a good example of how parents should behave.

[jwirr]

61. That is different.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

83. WHAT is different?

[jwirr]

116. That she is talking about the MSM not the mother. I fully support the mother in her fear.

[pnwmom]

156. And in doing so you are missing the point of Joan Walsh's article.

She's not criticizing the mother. She's criticizing the media for applauding her for the moments when, in her words, she "lost it."

[MaggieD]

227. A rule to live by - "The Media" is usually FOS

Corrupt and owned by mega corps.

[markpkessinger]

242. Well said! Thank you! n/t

[7962]

155. She said she didnt want him to end up like Freddie, so she was motivated. nt

[Fantastic Anarchist]

245. Couldn't that be part of the plan?

[ann---]

182. If people get violent

when they are scared - that is not a good characteristic, unless
it is in self-defense. She should have hugged him and told
him she wanted to protect him from being harmed in the
riots. That is a better way than to slap him constantly in the
head, embarrassing him, but worse taking the risk of harming
him.

It was sickening to watch. Just as bad as watching police
beat up people who have done nothing wrong.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

282. The mother has already acknowledged her wrongdoing. How long will

she be beaten up by you and others who wish to condemn her for her admitted mistake?

[ann---]

291. I was commenting because

some people look to her as some kind of "hero." She's
not. She's an abuser.

[deutsey]

11. That's what resonated with me

The woman obviously knows the score and saw one of her children in the middle of a situation that had the real potential of endangering his life.

In the heat of such a moment, what parent knows how they would respond?

[bravenak]

14. Yep.

I refuse to judge her based on a once in a lifetime incident where she was scared out of her mind for her son's safety. And he was not coming easy so she lost it.

[barbtries]

20. if i had it to do over,

i would have made it more a point to never spank my kids - but when i did, it was when they did something that endangered their safety, like running into the street. i cannot judge this woman. the fear is real; the sons are dying.

[Mother Of Four]

289. When my children were much much younger...

My father and I had a discussion about discipline. I was and still am against any form of corporal punishment, talking about it my father (who rarely ever spanked me at all) posed a question:

Say you have a daughter, she's a first or second grader and is playing outside with her friends. She has waist length hair. The ball or toy they are playing with tumbles into the street and she takes off like a deer after it. Her friend see's the large truck coming that your daughter doesn't, there's not enough time to call out to her risking her not stopping and the only thing the friend can reach is your daughters hair. She snatches her hair bringing your daughter to the ground, a little hair pulled out with some skinned elbows.

Your daughter comes running into the house, crying that her friend pulled her hair and showing you the scratches. The friend tells you about the toy and the truck, that they were scared she wouldn't stop.

Do you judge that friend of your daughters based on the tears, scratches, hair pulling and fuss them out? Or do you wrap your arms around both of them? Do you tell the friend how brave they were, and how scared they must have been for your daughter?

I would wrap my arms around both of them, thinking how grateful I would have been that my daughter is ok. Life is rarely so simple, you must always look at the totality of the circumstances.

Quote: In the heat of such a moment, what parent knows how they would respond?

We as citizens I think have an obligation to wrap our arms around this mother and understand just how terrified she must have been to react that way. Real, palpable, physical harm could have taken her son from her. Do we judge her for "pulling his hair"? No. Should we do all we can to keep her from EVER being that terrified again? Hell to the yes.

[deutsey]

290. +1

[pnwmom]

51. Scared and wrong. Lots of people do things because they are scared, but that doesn't mean

they should be applauded for it, as much of the media was doing.

[bravenak]

52. Exactly.

And she regrets hitting him. The applause is scary like that's what they want to see. Black kids getting beatings from their parents. Sad too.

[pnwmom]

74. I was happy to read the mother's perspective on this. I'm not worried about her being a bad mother.

She just had a less than perfect moment, as most parents do.

But the media shouldn't be lionizing her over this.

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

57. White flight white privileged bigot racist assholes claim that there is a BLACK CULTURE

that creates all the problems the AfAm community deals with and that it is somehow UNIQUE to you black folk.

So I ask them what is WHITE CULTURE,. and i never get an answer.

Then if I show them a picture of this mother doing this, I ask them if THAT is what they mean by BLACK CULTURE

and no answer.


it goes on and on.




So, anything negative is black culture, anything positive isnt, see how easy that is?

[bravenak]

60. Yes. Anything negative is black culture and if white kids do it, Rap! Hip hop!

Or they were just celebrating really really hard.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

62. Instread of addressing the article, I see the racists are in here attacking US.

Typical.

[BainsBane]

255. Jury results

On Wed Apr 29, 2015, 06:07 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

Instread of addressing the article, I see the racists are in here attacking US.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6589648

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Please, let's stop calling Duer's racist for NO REASON!! Yes, there are a few members that can be called racist, but SO FAR, not in this thread. It's making some huge supporters of minorities of all kinds afraid to ever say anything that a few may disagree with, knowing they will be called racist for no reason.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Wed Apr 29, 2015, 06:24 PM, and the Jury voted 3-4 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: There is plenty of reason to refer to racism on DU. Clearly the member LS sees it as a problem. You, the alerter, don't because you don't think the sensibilities of black members matter, as your alert makes clear. Obviously it pisses you off that any black members are left, or you wouldn't be going out of your way to drive the handful remaining off the site. Instead of working to make DU a straight, white male bubble, how about actually listening to the point of views of posters of color? But why would you do that when people here are so busy telling them their concerns just don't count? Working to silence people of color and establish Jim Crow speech is in fact racist.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: agree with the alert...
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I think DUers are wise enough to know the difference.

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future

[Cha]

274. Juror #1 is brilliant! mahalo BB

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

281. The Alerter's "concern" and all those who agree with him/her is

absolutely absurd!

Them pretending to be outraged victims is simply astonishing!

Their goal is to silence DU members of color and once and for all, chase them from DU.

Their intention has become clearer to me as the days go by.

I will NOT be silenced!

[7962]

158. I'm white, and my dad would've done the exact same thing as she did!

It worked with me, hopefully it will work with this kid

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

164. Work with him? Your learning curve and experience and this kid is VASTLY different

[Live and Learn]

277. +1 nt

[snooper2]

63. I think she was more pissed off than scared...in fact know...just listen to her

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

67. Ah yes, the Angry Black Female. Of course. She's not frightened for her son endangering himself...

...she must be angry. Of course.

BULLSHIT!!!!!

[snooper2]

81. oh come on get over yourself...she has a right to be pissed of her son was being an asshole

Maybe you should watch the video again-

"Get the fuck over here! Get over here now!" (I forget that is the opposite of one being pissed off )

After that, you should enjoy the next adventure of Reggae Shark (lesson about Reggae shark who jumped himself LOL)

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

88. More racist dribble. I see you.

[snooper2]

95. Obviously you responded so quick I see Reggae Shark wasn't an influence...

Oh well, we tried...

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

96. I don't know what the fuck that means. All I see is your racism showing. The other nonsense

means nothing to me.

[boston bean]

157. WTF???

[boston bean]

175. Posting a video titled "hanging tree" to a black person is disgusting.

You should be ashamed of yourself. So cute of you thinking no one would notice. Makes me sick.

[boston bean]

185. Your excuses make me sick, your actions ever more so.

In the context of this discussion it makes quite unbelievable you didn't set it up.

[boston bean]

195. There was nothing to read into. It was plain and obvious.

[boston bean]

199. Your doubling down continues. I assume it will continue.

[boston bean]

207. Moving on to strange for cover. Thou doth protest to much, I think.

[boston bean]

223. Right. I will stick with my logic.

I could care less about any video you are posting, except the one in question.

You know the "hanging tree"' one posted to a black person in a conversation regarding race issues.

[boston bean]

235. I'm sure many people feel the same as me.

But that really has no bearing on this. You made the post, doubled down and then continue on with insults. Deal.

[boston bean]

239. You could have just apologized. I'll leave the polling up to you.

[alp227]

273. Snoop has had 2 more hides here and is now flagged for review. nt

[Cha]

276. snooper has 3 well earned HIDES.

[boston bean]

278. hmm, pleasantly suprised.

[alp227]

293. Welp. And now every other message snoop has SELF DELETED. nt

[Scootaloo]

252. Boston Bean, you're not going to get anything worthwhile from that poster

[ScreamingMeemie]

256. Especially now that he can't reply.

On Wed Apr 29, 2015, 04:07 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

If you say so since you are the "stalwart" of everything ROFL
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6589800

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

This is a video of something called 'hanging tree" and it was posted to a self identified black member of our community. How is this any different than leaving a noose at someone's work station or front porch. The symbolism matters. Please do not let this pass as acceptable

JURY RESULTS

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Wed Apr 29, 2015, 04:25 PM, and the Jury voted 5-2 to HIDE IT.

Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Bad taste. Keep it classy.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I'm guessing you're not a Hunger Games fan.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: snooper, it's about time you grew up. You aren't funny, it's not cute. Time for a breather from at least one thread. I hope admin looks into this poster at this point.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Yuck. Hide.
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Feel the same as alerter
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: The post to which this is a response is much more objectionable.
Juror #7 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[boston bean]

257. I was hoping someone would alert.

I didn't because I would have probably never in good conscience to stay at DU if it was left. I've seen so much crap like this that I thought it could have been a potential crapshoot.

So I just engaged and let him know how disgusting I thought his post was.

[ScreamingMeemie]

258. I was on the jury.

Number 3.

Just as in real life, I don't care much for agitators who are just hanging around to agitate.

[Auggie]

292. Jury results for post #190:

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Rude swipe at boston bean with "start a HOF thread" (HOF = History of Feminism). Nasty, trolling cheap shot. In addition, the embedded video has some sexually suggestive content. User's non stop embedding of off-topic YouTube videos also slows down the loading of this already-heavy thread, especially for those with slower/older computers. Overal this post is rude and very inappropriate.

JURY RESULTS

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Thu Apr 30, 2015, 02:08 PM, and the Jury voted 4-3 to HIDE IT.

Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Ordinarily i wouldn't vote to hide this post, but the whole series of posts are ridiculous and way over the top. I can see someone getting worked up and saying something that may be offensive to some, but not others. But, post after post is a pattern we don't need here.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Quit squabbling then tattling because the debate does not go your way.
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: looks like antagonism to me
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

[Comrade Grumpy]

146. You need to take a huge fucking chill pill. n/t

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

152. And you need to not tell me what I need to do. Slavery is over. White folk don't get to tell

black people what to do anymore.

[7962]

181. Holy crap did you hit THAT nail on the head.

[Cha]

275. You "need to take a huge fucking chill pill."

[7962]

160. Did you even listen to her comments? Obviously not.

[bravenak]

71. Anger and fear are cousins. Her fear caused the anger.

1 There was a riot coming on.
2 She spots her kid
3 She tries to snatch him and prevent his participation
4 He juked her and got loose she was scared he might
5 She chased him and started hitting a dragging him away

She was scared he was going to jail or end up hurt or hurting others.

[snooper2]

91. apparently she had already caught him throwing rocks at the police, he was already participating

I'll give an example-


We just registered our daughter to start kindergarten in the fall. If say I show up to bring her lunch and see her with other kids bullying somebody my reaction would be close to the same as this mom- Pissed


(hopefully we have raised her to never do such a thing )

[Kalidurga]

132. There is a huge difference here

Your daughter is very unlikely to be shot by the police at school. Especially if she is white. If she is black she might get tazed. A black teenage boy out in a riot on the other hand is much more likely to be arrested or shot by the police. That is a real fear. What you are pissed about if you catch your child being a bully is that it will reflect on your parenting. You don't have to be afraid that your child is going to get shot.

[snooper2]

140. Since I'm dealing with this Stalwart person above I went to find an interview with her- you nail it

As usual-

She was pissed and scared-

[bravenak]

143. Awesome! It was kinda obvious.

I remember women running after their kids and men during the LA riots. People were dying that day, so I could see how somebody could lose it if they saw their kid out there all masked up.

[pnwmom]

80. Anger OFTEN covers over fear. n/t

[Duval]

170. Very often! It's a

"reaction formation", a form of Defense Mechanism.

[840high]

98. I would have done the

same. She didn't BEAT him. He's her only son and she wants him to live.

[bravenak]

203. I probably would have too. And regretted it.

We see beatings differently I suppose. It was a innefectual beating, i'll admit, but the blows to me were beating blows, even if open handed. If a person hit their spouse like that I'd call it a beating.

[JI7]

128. yes.i wouldnt call it being a hero

But not abusive either.

A scared parent. Like a parent who would grab and pull their kid if they run out where they could get hit by a car.

But if they did the same to a kid who did not do well in team sports it would not be ok.

Context matters.

[treestar]

171. Looking at it again, I agree there was nothing abusive about it

She sort of tapped him on the head, nothing that would hurt him.

And exactly, the context. If we saw some parent do it to a smaller kid at Walmart, they'd get the full treatment. This context is entirely different.

[yeoman6987]

169. I felt like I understood her

She was doing anything to save her child. Hopefully all of us would do the same. My gosh we lost 4 African American boys and men in the last few years and she knew it. I am sorry but I stand by my reaction and am proud of her. Criticize if you must but you won't change my mind.

[bravenak]

180. I felt a little sick because I could see myself doing that and regretting it.

I don't hit my kids. It used to be much more common in black families to beat the hell out of kids. Like slaves. I swear it's a holdover from the plantation and makes people more violent. Can't beat the bad or violence out of folks. But I could see myself snapping and dragging him home.

[yeoman6987]

231. In that situation definitely

I'd do the same if my son was trying to get into a car drunk. Some folks live in this perfect little bubble. Must be nice. Lol.

[Ms. Yertle]

2. "Please come home now, Dear"

probably wouldn't have worked. She felt that she needed to do what she did to get his attention and make him mind her. She pulled him out of a potentially dangerous situation. Good for her!

[pnwmom]

54. Then why didn't she literally pull him out of that dangerous situation? And why is the media

applauding the mother's frightened, out-of-control hitting of her son?

[840high]

104. I didn't se her

being out of control.

[pnwmom]

115. You didn't see her being out of control? I did. And she admitted that she was:

Later in the interview, Graham confesses, “I just lost it.”

[840high]

213. Full quote -

"To see my son come across the street with a rock in his hand, I think at that point I just lost it," Graham told CBS This Morning.

She did right. There should be more Moms like her. 'bye

[pnwmom]

215. That changes nothing. White people shouldn't be applauding a black mother's

frightened, desparate, out-of-control reaction as a example of tough love and good parenting.

[840high]

253. I don't view people as black or white. I view

them as people.Period. Who appointed you to tell us what we should do?

[pnwmom]

259. Yeah, right. Just like you don't notice if someone is male or female.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/26/do-not-see-race-ignoring-racism-not-helping

People love to tell me that they often forget that I’m black. They say this with a sort of “a-ha!” look on their faces, as if their dawning ability to see my blackness was a gift to us both.

When I point out that their eyesight had never left them, that my skin has never changed colors, and that they probably did not really forget that I am black, they inevitably get defensive. First, they try to argue that it was a compliment; the smart ones quickly realize that complimenting someone on not being black is actually pretty racist, so they switch gears.

I don’t see race! is usually their next tactic, followed by I am colorblind, though they never give credit to Stephen Colbert. By “colorblind” they don’t actually mean that they can’t see green or red; rather, they are suggesting that they can’t ever be racist, because they don’t register skin color at all.

This ideology is very popular – like a racial utopic version of the Golden Rule – but it’s actually quite racist. “Colorblindness” doesn’t acknowledge the very real ways in which racism has existed and continues to exist, both in individuals and systemically. By professing not to see race, you’re just ignoring racism, not solving it.

SNIP

[840high]

261. I do notice if someone is

male or female - I love looking at men.

[pnwmom]

262. And unless you are blind you also notice the color of their skin.

Along with their size, their hair (or lack thereof), and other physical differences.


http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/26/do-not-see-race-ignoring-racism-not-helping

People love to tell me that they often forget that I’m black. They say this with a sort of “a-ha!” look on their faces, as if their dawning ability to see my blackness was a gift to us both.

When I point out that their eyesight had never left them, that my skin has never changed colors, and that they probably did not really forget that I am black, they inevitably get defensive. First, they try to argue that it was a compliment; the smart ones quickly realize that complimenting someone on not being black is actually pretty racist, so they switch gears.

I don’t see race! is usually their next tactic, followed by I am colorblind, though they never give credit to Stephen Colbert. By “colorblind” they don’t actually mean that they can’t see green or red; rather, they are suggesting that they can’t ever be racist, because they don’t register skin color at all.

This ideology is very popular – like a racial utopic version of the Golden Rule – but it’s actually quite racist. “Colorblindness” doesn’t acknowledge the very real ways in which racism has existed and continues to exist, both in individuals and systemically. By professing not to see race, you’re just ignoring racism, not solving it.

SNIP

[840high]

263. Color doesn't interest me - perhaps

it's my European upbringing. Enjoy your evening.

[pnwmom]

265. Then you aren't interested in hearing about how the lives of other people

are affected by their race. I don't think it's your European upbringing. Not all Europeans are uninterested in the effects of racism.


http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/26/do-not-see-race-ignoring-racism-not-helping

People love to tell me that they often forget that I’m black. They say this with a sort of “a-ha!” look on their faces, as if their dawning ability to see my blackness was a gift to us both.

When I point out that their eyesight had never left them, that my skin has never changed colors, and that they probably did not really forget that I am black, they inevitably get defensive. First, they try to argue that it was a compliment; the smart ones quickly realize that complimenting someone on not being black is actually pretty racist, so they switch gears.

I don’t see race! is usually their next tactic, followed by I am colorblind, though they never give credit to Stephen Colbert. By “colorblind” they don’t actually mean that they can’t see green or red; rather, they are suggesting that they can’t ever be racist, because they don’t register skin color at all.

This ideology is very popular – like a racial utopic version of the Golden Rule – but it’s actually quite racist. “Colorblindness” doesn’t acknowledge the very real ways in which racism has existed and continues to exist, both in individuals and systemically. By professing not to see race, you’re just ignoring racism, not solving it.

SNIP

[840high]

266. How are you solving it? You post a lot. It's

easy being a keyboard warrior.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

3. Any time White America sees a black BOY or MAN brutalized, they cheer it on.

Sick!! Sick and disgusting!

[derby378]

13. "Brutalized?" Please...

It would have been more brutal if the son threw a punch at his mom. At one point, he looked pretty close to it.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

22. Of course I was exaggerating, co-signing the larger point that Joan Walsh is making in her OP.

Don't resort to semantics I use. The article is making a bigger point which is White folk love violence against black people, particularly black men. The woman was a hero in their eyes because they are apathetic when it comes to violence perpetrated against people of color.

That was Walsh's main point. And I agree with her 100%.

Don't deflect and make this about me and words I use.

[heaven05]

35. good to clarify

Last edited Wed Apr 29, 2015, 04:46 PM - Edit history (1)

with the faux indignation and outrage potential here about the main point: A lot of white americans love to see a black man and/or boy brutalized. You are, or Joan Walsh to be specific, 100% correct, though. The "hero mom" was afraid for her son, I think. Which is plenty reason to get emotional about his safety. Open season on POC is becoming a national pastime.

[Duppers]

161. zactly

[AgingAmerican]

21. Huh? Being brutalized? WTF?

My mom would have done the same thing to me at that age in that situation she would have dragged me home by the ear lobe, and if I had caught my son doing that, I probably would have done the same with him.

She wasn't 'brutalizing' him, she was doing her job because she loves her son and she just might have saved his ass from jail or worse.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

58. Roll your fucking eyes all you want. The media is calling this woman a "hero". She is on

all of the corporate media outlets. White folk ARE cheering her on.

This is the argument that Joan Walsh--a white journalist--is making. I applaud her candor. I appreciate her honesty.

Rolling your eyes doesn't make her point any less valid.

White people love it when black people are brutalized and mistreated. HER point! I just happen to agree with it. Deal.

[bravenak]

65. I agree too.

If that same woman were hitting a white child they would be calling for felony assault charges. They think black kids need beatings. They like to see it. It makes them happy. See how geeked the rightwing media is, and even some at msnbc about this woman hitting her kid? Overjoyed.

[bravenak]

73. That was an explanation of the MOTHER's motivations.

This is an explanation of the MEDIA's motivations. You can read, right?

[LanternWaste]

92. Almost as special as how you continuously move the goalposts... adorable, even.

Almost as special as how you continuously move the goalposts... adorable, even.

[bravenak]

100. Yep. The mother explained hers.

The other... Hell their motivations ain't changed in centuries. If they have, I can't tell. When did the entire population of white folks start protecting black folk from violence and racism? Just about never. If I see a change in the racism level of white society I write a fucking BOOK congratulating them on their newly aquired humility and their humanity. Till then, go yell at yourself and make a change in YOU. Not my job to be fixing you.

[bravenak]

131. I never mentioned you once.

Huh? Imagine that. You ain't that important in the grand scheme of things after all. You must have a reading problem if you saw your name mentioned. I'd advise glasses. I have an awesome grip on reality. I know that if it ain't about me to let it slide and mind my business. I only get upset if the remark resembles me. You must have saw yourself in what I said. Maybe you need to work on that so that you can stop feeling guilty.

[bravenak]

142. I don't need a ploy. It's just true.

You got yourself all up in arms. Nobody was even talking to you. I was talking to LS and you just had to 'set me straight!'. Lol! Nobody told you to get it started. Your choice and now you are pissed for no damn reason.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

76. Racists in this thread in full force, too. Rather than addressing the substance of Joan's article...

...they are attacking the people who agree with what Joan has written.

It's typical.

I will not be silenced, though.

[bravenak]

87. Crazy shit, right?

They posting irrelevant links and shit already.
They know I won't shut up. They alerted and alerted on my opinions yeaterday. My opinions are too Black for some people. Oh well. They gon have to learn to deal, just like I have to deal with they bullshit opinions.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

94. Kudos to you! I see them here, too. Again, not attacking the white woman, Joan Walsh...

Going after the blacks here on DU.

As I said: typical.

[bravenak]

114. Yep. Typical.

They gotta shoot the messenger and soil the message.

[bravenak]

105. Nope. Not giving it no rests.

You can leave me alone if you cannot stand my words. You the one that started it. I'm gonna speak as much as I please, same as you.

[bravenak]

136. You started it. And I'm the arrogant one cause I don't care what you think.

You come off all angry and pissed about reverse racism or some shit and I'm fucking amused. Thank you for saying I'm smart. I know.

[bravenak]

145. Ok. But I was never talking to or about you, just so you know.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

212. They're going to keep telling YOU to "get over yourself"! LOL!! You didn't write the article!

[bravenak]

214. I'm arrogant.

It's funny to me now, cause the reactions to my reactions are out of this world. Somebody schooled me on the gang truce of 92 that I myself witnessed (like, half my poeple were in gangs, so how they gonna tell me, tho)DU is hella funny.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

216. You're arrogant, uppity and angry. And it's not racism unless THEY say so! So, get over yourself!

[bravenak]

217. Stop being so uppity! Just do as you're told and take a chill pill!

[840high]

202. Racists? You wish. 'Bye

I'm in no mood to read the shit you're trying so hard to stir.

[7962]

193. I dont know, I think if it were the same situation, the woman would get similar coverage

I've seen many similar instances posted in news and on facebook. Like the guy who made his kid stand out by the street holding a sign telling what he did. I see little difference by just the fact she was giving the kid a few slaps.

There's a lot of these examples. I think its people appreciating a parent trying to reel in their kid.

[bravenak]

198. It's the way they are lionizing her. She does not agree and regrets her actions.

There is a history of beating your children in black families that needs to end, yesterday. The media admires the actual beating and seems to want more. Your edamples are not of parents beating kids or hitting them, but shaming them. The beatings not only shame our kids but cause them to think that hitting solves problems. The media doesn't seem to call white parents who assault their kids heroes.

[7962]

204. I guess we disagree. I was hit like that as a kid,

but I didnt consider it a "beating". I KNEW kids who did get a beating and they wore bruises to show. And a lot of times they hadnt really done anything wrong. I was a vandal And I was on the way to getting into a lot more trouble if my folks hadnt slapped the stupid out of me. I even got paddled in school a few times too. And to really blow your mind, this was in the 70s, I'm a white kid getting paddled by a black teacher in Georgia! But like I said, it worked for me; I straightened up and finished school. I dont really think black kids got whacked by their parents any more than white kids back then.
But i know many folks these days dont agree with ANY corporal punishment.

[bravenak]

210. I think that's why I don't believe in corporal punishment.

I got beat with straps, shoes, belts, and a telephone cord. I told myself never. I was a straight a student who never even got detention. That kinda abuse made me start skipping school to cover the welts. That was normal for black kids until, hell, I think my generation stopped it. We don't hit our kids like our parents did. Still slightly think my mother is unable to care for children properly. She never hits my kids, but I keep reminding her not to just to make sure. It hurts her feelings but I lack trust. My kids would not understand. When they act out, they go to thir rooms, alone. They hate that. I also take away their kindles. Yeah, they back talk and test the limits, but they are not too bad, pretty sweets. Hitting kids steals something from them(empathy?). Desensitizes them.

[7962]

220. Yeah, I never could get that: getting hit and you didnt do ANYTHING wrong. nt

[bravenak]

221. For real. It was terrifying trying to figure out if you were being 'bad'.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

72. My opinion. This is what Joan Walsh wrote. Take it up with her. I agree with her.

Here's what I want to spew:

I will never shut my mouth against racism here at DU.

I will never be told to keep quiet when I see racism being practiced here or elsewhere.

If you don't like it, tough!

Put me on IGNORE!

But guess what?

You will never silence me. Got it?

Deal with it.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

85. No worries. Criticize me all you want. It's your right. But you WILL NOT silence me!

[LanternWaste]

93. Your self-indictment is admirable.

"More spewage. DU at its finest...."

Your self-indictment is admirable.

[840high]

113. Black folks are cheering

her, too. Get over yourself - she loves her son.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

147. What's with this: "GET OVER MYSELF"? I didn't write the fucking article!

And of course black folk agree with the mother; she was getting her child out of harm's way!

Once again, I agree with what Joan Walsh WROTE, which is white folk enjoy violence perpetrated against blacks in ANY form for any reason! Period.

You got an issue, take it up with her.

[dbackjon]

141. LOL - I see many black, hispanic, native friends of mine

Cheering her on as well.


One might want to look in the mirror while throwing out racist jabs.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

150. Truth hurts, don't it?

[dbackjon]

237. For you, I guess

[Cali_Democrat]

251. +1000

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

75. When will white people learn? We have NO CLUE about ANY of what that mother is dealing

with or her son or the AfAm people here reacting.

The mother is now sorry she did that, so applauding her beating her kid like that is wrong IF SHE says it is, if her community says it is

Jesus, how fucking complicated is this?

NOT ONE white person here has a clue, but they have so many opinions

weird

[hfojvt]

172. damn white people anyway

if they could all just die or something.

Especially White Americans

[840high]

200. I won't oblige - want to

see my grandsons married. Plan on living till then. Hugs to you.

[uppityperson]

4. I spoke out against it. I understand her fear but also do not cheer any violence. interesting take,

thank you.

[WillowTree]

5. And so many on DU are essentially saying.......

.......that the only way for black kids to express their frustration is to riot and destroy property.

The woman did what she needed to do in that moment to extricate her son from a bad situation. I won't fault her for that.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

24. Who is saying this? And the vast majority of "black kids" were peacefully demonstrating.

Your racism is showing...

[pnwmom]

179. Unfortunately, and typically, the media wasn't SHOWING the vast majority of peaceful demonstrators.

The only ones that get the attention are the ones who cross the line.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

187. True. Of course.

[Gormy Cuss]

28. Links, please. I don't recall seeing any DUers post that. n/t

[pnwmom]

59. The people who are at fault are the media, for applauding a parent at her

out-of-control worst. I understand the fear that led the woman to act as she did, but the media shouldn't be holding it up, as they are, as an example of optimal parenting behavior.

She could have physically intervened by attempting to pull him away, but I didn't see her do that before she started pounding him.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

162. Actually, some people here have corrected me in suggesting that we black folk are cheering

the mother on, too, so we're wrong.

Because the black folk are cheering, we too are sadistic. Of course that misses the entire point of Joan's article, but it's not lost on us what the racists in this thread are trying to do.

[pnwmom]

174. I think Joan Walsh's piece was spot on.

She wasn't attacking the mother, but she allowed the mother to express her own regrets that she "lost it." And Walsh clearly stated that she wasn't directing her criticism at African Americans, but at white members of the media and other white people who were applauding the mother's frightened behavior as a good example of tough love and parental discipline.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

196. Yep. Absolutely. Those who assert that "blacks were cheering too" missed the point...

...and I think deliberately so to deflect from the larger point Walsh was making. Because blacks instinctively knew that the mother was trying to protect her son, that wasn't the issue. Walsh was suggesting that whites tended to view it more through the lens of discipline, not as a desperate mother attempting to protect her son.

One DUer even resorted to the "Angry Black Woman" stereotype, which again, totally misses the point: It's not that Toya Graham was angry at her son for being involved in the riot. It was that she was enraged at the SITUATION and the potential of her son being exposed to danger.

This wasn't about us horrible black folk who beat our children because that is supposedly the only way we know how to discipline them. Hogwash! This was about a mother trying to protect her son--not disciplining her son. She was desperately trying to get him out of the way and out of danger, even condemning herself for having hit her son.

[boston bean]

254. I agree. I am white and I would have more likely than not done he same thing.

Most mothers understand how scared one can get for their children and she did the best she could in a very potentially dangerous situation that her son was in.

No judgment from me. She did what I probably would have done.

No one should be making judgments on this. And I definitely get that there is a difference between what I am saying and what the media is saying.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

283. Exactly. Thank you. I think other folks get it, too. They are just

deliberately being antagonistic when it is unnecessary. I think there is a deliberate attempt by some in this thread and elsewhere on DU to antagonize people of color and/or silence them where discussions re: Baltimore are taking place. I think a lot of us are getting sick and tired of it and are having conversations about what's going on. I have vowed not to be silenced, as other people of color have left DU. The agitators have successfully run many of us off DU, which is what they've been trying to do for a long time now.

I appreciate your honesty and candor.

[Egnever]

6. The fuck?

Race baiting bullshit this white American didn't like it a bit but I can point to Posts here yesterday by POC posters defending it.

Fuck this divisive bullshit.

[DonViejo]

9. You disagree with this comment from the article by Joan Walsh?...

Her moment of losing it made her a hero to much of white America

[Egnever]

44. Completely

White had nothing to do with it. This is nothing more than an attempt to divide people and it's utter garbage.

[840high]

201. You are right.

[pnwmom]

90. You must have missed the dozens of news reports that lionized this woman for her desperate, out-of-control

behavior, holding it up as a good example of "tough love'" and good parenting.

This OP isn't divisive at all. I was glad to hear the mother's perspective. She seems like a much better mother to me now.

[Egnever]

126. So because it was on the news

That's what white america thought?

That is such ridiculous thinking I can't even fathom how anyone can buy into it.

Any time you group people and say this is what they think you are already wrong. It's divisive BS.

[geek tragedy]

7. she was a scared mother, not an action figure, nor is she Cruella deVille as some handwringers are

suggesting

[Left coast liberal]

10. FUBAR!

[seabeyond]

15. or the left only looking at this mom from the hits. i am disgusted with both sides. nt

[lumberjack_jeff]

16. I'd be tempted to do exactly what she did.

But I'd be castigated and arrested, because you don't treat white kids, not even boys, that way.

Which raises a different question, I suppose. If she took the action necessary to keep her child from harm, regrettable and unfortunate though it might be, why doesn't this benefit of the doubt extend to others?

[nc4bo]

25. if in another time and place, this woman would have been charged with child abuse or assault.

This Mom did what she had to do to get her boy out of a bad situation but I abhor that the media (and others) are hyping this the way they are. She is not a hero, she's a Mom.

Try and physically corral your kid in a non-riot situation anyou're taking the chance of getting arrested yourself. Hell, your own kid can initiate it themselves. That's reality.

G'dammit America, you can. not. have it both ways or at your convenience.

Seems so hypocritical to me.

[treestar]

40. Did she succeed?

In the end of the video I didn't see whether he entered the riot or not

[nc4bo]

42. the almighty media seems to think so.

Why do so many interviews with Mom if she wasn't.

Hey, I'm a Mom and would probably have done the exact same thing. I would try to protect my kid as best I could by getting him out of there.

But I wouldn't consider myself a hero because of it.

Seriously though, this country is so lost treestar, it's truly frightening.

[treestar]

159. So true

Not a mom but if a nephew was off to do something like that, I'd likely do the same if their parents weren't around. And my sister would be doing that and more.

[christx30]

154. My 8 year old son gets into violent

temper tantrums sometimes. He's autistic, and has trouble expressing himself. He will kick, bite, scratch, headbutt, and scream like we're murdering him. But I will sit behind him and pin his arms to the side to prevent him from hurting himself. He broke his mom's nose more than once. We have to do this for 20 minutes or so until he's able to come out of that mental "place" and calmly talk to us.
I wouldn't hit him though. Just try to restrain him.

[bravenak]

177. My nine year old daughter is like that.

We do the same.

[m-lekktor]

17. a facebook friend said the mom should have joined the son in the protest

rather than hit him!

[seveneyes]

18. Mother

[lumberjack_jeff]

29. +1 n/t

[libdem4life]

19. Some think the Police started it: Eyewitnesses: The Baltimore Riots Didn't Start the Way You Think

Now we know when violence is OK...when it's a parent who has lost control...just fine. Not.

Eyewitnesses: The Baltimore Riots Didn't Start the Way You Think
Baltimore teachers and parents tell a different story from the one you've been reading in the media.

Edit: http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/04/how-baltimore-riots-began-mondawmin-purge

—By Sam Brodey and Jenna McLaughlin
| Tue Apr. 28, 2015 6:00 PM EDT


Patrick Semansky/AP

After Baltimore police and a crowd of teens clashed near the Mondawmin Mall in northwest Baltimore on Monday afternoon, news reports described the violence as a riot triggered by kids who had been itching for a fight all day. But in interviews with Mother Jones and other media outlets, teachers and parents maintain that police actions inflamed a tense-but-stable situation.

More coverage of the protests in Baltimore.

Orioles Exec: It's Inequality, Stupid

The funeral of Freddie Gray, a 25-year-old black man who died in police custody this month, had ended hours earlier at a nearby church. According to the Baltimore Sun, a call to "purge"—a reference to the 2013 dystopian film in which all crime is made legal for one night—circulated on social media among school-aged Baltimoreans that morning. The rumored plan—which was not traced to any specific person or group—was to assemble at the Mondawmin Mall at 3:00 p.m. and proceed down Pennsylvania Avenue toward downtown Baltimore. The Baltimore police department, which was aware of the "purge" call, prepared for the worst. Shortly before noon, the department issued a statement saying it had "received credible information that members of various gangs…have entered into a partnership to 'take-out' law enforcement officers."

When school let out that afternoon, police were in the area equipped with full riot gear. According to eyewitnesses in the Mondawmin neighborhood, the police were stopping busses and forcing riders, including many students who were trying to get home, to disembark. Cops shut down the local subway stop. They also blockaded roads near the Mondawmin Mall and Frederick Douglass High School, which is across the street from the mall, and essentially corralled young people in the area. That is, they did not allow the after-school crowd to disperse.

Meghann Harris, a teacher at a nearby school, described on Facebook what happened:

Police were forcing busses to stop and unload all their passengers. Then, students, in huge herds, were trying to leave on various busses but couldn't catch any because they were all shut down. No kids were yet around except about 20, who looked like they were waiting for police to do something. The cops, on the other hand, were in full riot gear, marching toward any small social clique of students…It looked as if there were hundreds of cops.

The kids were "standing around in groups of 3-4," Harris said in a Facebook message to Mother Jones. "They weren't doing anything. No rock throwing, nothing…The cops started marching toward groups of kids who were just milling about."

A teacher at Douglass High School, who asked not to be identified, tells a similar story: "When school was winding down, many students were leaving early with their parents or of their own accord." Those who didn't depart early, she says, were stranded. Many of the students still at school at that point, she notes, wanted to get out of the area and avoid any Purge-like violence. Some were requesting rides home from teachers. But by now, it was difficult to leave the neighborhood. "I rode with another teacher home," this teacher recalls, "and we had to route our travel around the police in riot gear blocking the road… The majority of my students thought what was going to happen was stupid or were frightened at the idea. Very few seemed to want to participate in 'the purge.'"

A parent who picked up his children from a nearby elementary school, says via Twitter, "The kids stood across from the police and looked like they were asking them 'why can't we get on the buses' but the police were just gazing…Majority of those kids aren't from around that neighborhood. They NEED those buses and trains in order to get home." He continued: "If they would've let them children go home, yesterday wouldn't have even turned out like that."

Meg Gibson, another Baltimore teacher, described a similar scene to Gawker: "The riot police were already at the bus stop on the other side of the mall, turning buses that transport the students away, not allowing students to board. They were waiting for the kids.…Those kids were set up, they were treated like criminals before the first brick was thrown." With police unloading busses, and with the nearby metro station shut down, there were few ways for students to clear out.

Several eyewitnesses in the area that afternoon say that police seemed to arrive at Mondawmin anticipating mobs and violence—prior to any looting. At 3:01 p.m., the Baltimore Police Department posted on its Facebook page: "There is a group of juveniles in the area of Mondawmin Mall. Expect traffic delays in the area." But many of the kids, according to eyewitnesses, were stuck there because of police actions.

The Baltimore Police Department did not respond to requests for comment.

Around 3:30, the police reported that juveniles had begun to throw bottles and bricks. Fifteen minutes later, the police department noted that one of its officers had been injured. After that the violence escalated, and rioters started looting the Mondawmin Mall, and Baltimore was in for a long night of trouble and violence. But as the event is reviewed and investigated, an important question warrants attention: What might have happened had the police not prevented students from leaving the area? Did the department's own actions increase the chances of conflict?

As Meghann Harris put it, "if I were a Douglas student that just got trapped in the middle of a minefield BY cops without any way to get home and completely in harm's way, I'd be ready to pop off, too."

On social media, eyewitnesses chronicled the dramatic police presence before the rioting began:

[barbtries]

23. did you write this

or do you have a link? thank you

[libdem4life]

27. Thanks for the tip...Fixed it.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

26. The police instigated it, just as they did in Ferguson.

[Buzz Clik]

30. Oh, for fuck's sake: "beating her 16-year-old son"

She was "dope slapping" the kid -- an open-handed swipe that barely clipped him. She landed a couple of pops, but junior never flinched.

Oh the drama!!!111 Oh, the humanity!!!111

Oh, the bullshit passing as reasoned opinion.

[840high]

123. ...^ that

[Buzz Clik]

148. We're being gamed.

I was drawn in, but I bailed.

Some real assholes on this thread.

[Behind the Aegis]

31. I don't know that "hypocrisy" sums it up well.

While there are undoubtedly those white people who do see "the only way to control black kids is to beat the shit out of them" and, in a way, "essentially justifying police brutality", I would hazard most were simply "applauding" a mother trying to get her son out of harm's way. The real issue, as I see it, is many whites don't see why the mother "lost it." They don't understand her frustrations and fears. She may have not been happy with him "rioting" (if that is what he was doing), she was much more likely more worried he would become another statistic in the ever-rising "death by cop" among African-Americans, especially men and boys. The other issue I see is the "good Black" syndrome, which is when an African-American does something "approved by" white folk, and then hold said individual as a "mark" as to how black folk should act. Really it all boils down to, once again, describing race relations from the perspective of the white view, all the while ignoring the experiences and feelings of those the racism affects.

[elehhhhna]

41. disagree. mothers imo feel her completely. the mother level is deep.

[Behind the Aegis]

45. Some do. Some don't. For different reasons.

That's more to the point and why I didn't imply mothers didn't "get" her.

[libdem4life]

70. Disagree. I'm a mother of a son whom I love deeply. To me, a mother who bangs on a kid, curses at

him, humiliates him in front of now, the world...That's an out of control adult who happens to be a mother. Those kids were trapped there...could not leave. Buses and Metro ... police had them shut down and surrounded. She needs parenting training and they need counseling. A single mother of 6 has a tough time of it in an urban area, no doubt.

But, as we keep hearing, violence breeds violence...there it is in action. Pretty sure that wasn't the first time this scene was played out Not at a Riot. They both looked like this was pretty common.

[elehhhhna]

86. she was freaked out. that'd all I can tell from the video.

I've had that feeling. Don't hit my kids but in her situation it could happen.

[libdem4life]

127. That group wasn't rioting...clearly...they were trapped by the buses and metro closed down.

And article I have here on similar sites describes how some parents heard, probably kids called on their cell phones, went to school and took their kids home early. Those who were there when school was let out and rode buses and maybe had parents working, had no chance to get out.

But it certainly did fit a black stereotype...hitting, cursing, chasing...etc. Out of all the video that must have been available...this one was chosen...and look at the interest it has on this board. And if she saw him on television, she was at home and clearly had a way to get there.

Clearly that was not a new behavior for either.

[elehhhhna]

46. also, whites first reaction isn't "great mom", it's "his dad should be collecting him"

Whole other conversation.

[Behind the Aegis]

48. Do what now?

[elehhhhna]

77. I have ears. just reporting what I hear.

[Behind the Aegis]

110. That still makes no sense. Are you trying to make a point?

[elehhhhna]

117. why are you looking for an argument?

[Behind the Aegis]

122. I am looking to understand your comments. That isn't an argument, that is a conversation.

What is the point you are trying to make?

[nc4bo]

133. some folks love deflecting attention away from the real issues...

More ways to place blame is the name of that game.

What bugs me most is those types never ever try to get to the root of the problems or proposing real solutions. Deliberate or unintentional avoidance of understanding of what lead up to it.
They just keep on deflecting and finding other ways to blame the other - it's just so dang incredibly convenient to do so. There are no sleepless nights for those folks.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

167. Yep. You see how they've come after me for dare agreeing with what Joan Walsh has said.

I'm the racist because Joan Walsh has pointed out White America's own racism to which I agreed. But because I agree with Joan Walsh, that makes ME the racist. They're not taking issue with Joan Walsh; they're going after me.

See how transparent they are?

It's ridiculous!

[bravenak]

56. Really?

I guess putting all the Dads in prison wasn't the best plan. I guess the drug war took the fathers out of the homes. I guess kids without dads around act out. That kids dad might have been at work though like whites would expect. Black dads have so many expectations to live up to. Expected to be working, at home with their kids, in jail, dead. Black men can't win for losing, huh? Sucks.

[elehhhhna]

99. no shit. Do I have to write a ten paragraph essay here defending my

Right or credibility to make a goddm comment? Do y'all want honest conversation or to attack each other? Misdirected anger here.

[bravenak]

120. I wasn't angry. It's hard to put tone into the messages.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

125. I agree. And those who pretend to not know what you meant are lying.

[Duppers]

176. Yes, the mom said she feared for her son

That he too could be killed by the cops.

AA or white, when your fear for your child is great, you'll do anything to keep them safe.
BTDT.

[awoke_in_2003]

184. My coworkers found it amusing

I just saw a scared mother who didn't want to have to plan a funeral.

[project_bluebook]

33. Yes, the white privilege Fox news stereotype of how a black mother should punish her kid

then parade them in front of every so called news networks. Makes me sick, its no way to punish kids or to prepare them for adulthood.

[Blanks]

34. They need to stop labeling people 'hero'...

To me, that's the automatic 'manipulation switch'.

I'm not saying that she's not heroic, but the press should be unbiased. I'm sure in her mind this is no different than keeping him from hanging out with friends that he has that she doesn't trust on any given night. I've had to do that a time or two myself. It's hardly heroic being the bad guy in your kids eyes when you're keeping them from doing something that they think is going to be fun.

It's the drama surrounding it that annoys me. There were probably quite a few parents all over town trying to keep their kids out of trouble. It seems wrong to just pick someone and give them a bunch of attention that they weren't looking for.

[treestar]

38. +1

The video camera in everyone's hand has made so many things into news when they are ordinary occurrences.

[treestar]

36. So this breaks down according to race?

I don't have to think about it for myself. This writer informs me that white skin means I take the side against her.

Seriously we are excusing the riots themselves and now this lady why do we have to do that? Can we still support justice for black people and condemn police violence against them without having to support the riots and this woman too?

[Puglover]

37. Walsh puts into words what

I have been thinking about and could not wrap my head around.

Thanks for posting.

[KT2000]

39. Frankly - I think America

needs a mother like this to come and slap some sense into this whole country.

And let's get real - this was not a beating. Too much drama over this.

[lostnfound]

43. Being a mom trying to get through to a teen son just SUCKS.

I think she was scared. And she said she'd seen him start to throw something at the cops and that would have REALLY scared the hell out of me, if I were her.

They listen at age 11 but you wake up a year or two later, and they suddenly act like they hate you and ignore everything you have to say.

[Duppers]

209. +1000

Too many on this thread have never had to raise a head-strong male teenager who too often makes decisions based more on his testosterone level than his brain power.

I was in Bmore this weekend and I too feared for these kids.



An aside: I have a theory about how these racist cops were raised; no doubt they grew up in racist, totally male dominated homes where machismo was worshiped and women had less to say about anything.

[elleng]

47. She was also a 'hero,' or at least did the right thing,

to a young African American woman friend of mine, who lives in DC and works in Maryland not far from Baltimore. My friend's mother also agreed with what the mother did.

[pnwmom]

97. Joan Walsh said her piece was NOT directed to other African Americans like your friend.

She said they have other reasons for their reactions.

She is only criticizing white commentators who are applauding this woman's out-of-control behavior as an example of tough love and good parenting.

Did you read Joan Walsh's piece? She was very clear about that.

[yeoman6987]

222. Why does Joan Walsh get to dictate anything?

[pnwmom]

225. She doesn't. But the OP is about Joan Walsh's piece.

If you want to write your own OP and talk about another commentator's piece, go ahead.

[yeoman6987]

232. Fair enough. I'd bore everyone to tears if I tried to write something.

[uponit7771]

49. AMEN!!! I made the point that if the kid was white she'd be in jail!!!

[DonCoquixote]

50. There is one thign that also get hidden

NO, violence is not good for chiuldren, no parents should nto use it, because it could do damage eyiond that one heated moment,

BUT, I do think that is is sickeneing that people who go "that was so wrong of her to use violence" are feeling free to slam the mother. IT is not just a for of racism, but sexism, as if to say "you should do we what we do instead of what you learned in your inferior community."

[bigwillq]

55. I think my Mom would have done the same thing.

I would have been grateful to her if she did.

[pnwmom]

64. The media shouldn't be holding up the reaction of a frightened, out-of-control angry parent

as a good example for parents everywhere. I understand why she did what she did but she could have pulled him away from the situation without hitting him.

Unless years of hitting had made him numb to everything else. And that would be the result of poor parenting, not something to be applauded.

[Ed Suspicious]

69. That's very much the way I was reading the zeal for this event. Racist white folks love watching a

young black man being taken down a notch. That it was by his mom was all the sweeter to them.

[libdem4life]

78. Are you kidding me? WTF. And you know this exactly how?

[Ed Suspicious]

82. I'm speculating. I know nothing.

[pnwmom]

103. You don't think that was behind the Faux news spin on her actions?

They love to see "tough love" on a black kid.

[libdem4life]

138. I think everything that day was racist. What has me gobsmacked, is the cheering on of a very

angry person ... regardless of color it seems to me ... that it is OK to beat your kid under certain circumstances. Here.

All the news is sensationalist...anything that made it on the news that night was. Not the peaceful marches, or the kids who were trapped like animals looking at military in full gear who wouldn't let them out to go home...via bus or metro.

Certainly they knew it would sell. Sickening.

[elehhhhna]

111. wrong. white people love to see any teenagers be humiliated.

Brutal Americans hate young people. Love bullies.

[Ed Suspicious]

121. This could also be the case. You make a good point.

[dbackjon]

144. That's a pretty racist thing to say

[elehhhhna]

191. whatever. I'm white, I see it.

[Renew Deal]

101. That was hardly a beating

And nothing compared to what the cops could have done.

[pnwmom]

106. This is an excellent piece! Thank you! n/t

[LittleBlue]

107. Salon jumped the shark during these riots, discrediting the publication

Joan Walsh is part of the problem. Another clueless privileged person who knows best.

Comparing a mother's terror with police brutality is ludicrous. His mother was doing him a favor that day, saved him from making a terrible mistake. The police severed Freddie Gray's spinal cord. How can anyone compare murdering a black man with a few harmless slaps around the head? People around the world weren't supporting this woman because she was violent with her son, they supported her because she is a good parent. She went above and beyond for her child.

Walsh is not the biggest whackjob at Salon, though.

Baltimore’s violent protesters are right: Smashing police cars is a legitimate political strategy

This part is nice:

I do not advocate non-violence—particularly in a moment like the one we currently face.

http://www.salon.com/2015/04/28/baltimores_violent_protesters_are_right_smashing_police_cars_is_a_legitimate_political_strategy/

I wonder if they'd hold the same opinion if they were that mother. Or if they actually had to live in the low-income areas of Baltimore.

Salon's writers need some Valium and a nap.

[Duppers]

218. Totally agree with you!

DH's cousin is a friend of Joan Walsh's and I'm asking her to send a message. I too am most upset that she doesn't understand this mother's terror that her son could be killed.

[rtracey]

108. Sorry...she is too me

Last edited Wed Apr 29, 2015, 03:54 PM - Edit history (1)

Sorry, but I think she is a hero, and her son should be thankful he has a mother that gives a shit....why, because if every parent that had a child that was involved in the situation, if every mother, father or both went there and pulled their son, daughter, grands, etc, things may have happened differently. GOOD FOR YOU TOYA....

[840high]

130. To me she is

a very responsible, loving mother.

[rtracey]

234. I agree

But she didn't hesitate to walk into that crowd and pull her kid out of there. She knew what was going to happen if she didn't. Where were the other parents? I know many work, but come on....trouble is, I also saw some parents with kids in the mix too. All parents are heros in my book.

[Dorian Gray]

109. We demonize

Adrian Peterson and others for "losing it" with their children and beating them, then we lionize this woman. So it's okay to beat a child if you agree with the reasons behind it? It's okay to lose your temper and resort to violence if you agree with the reasons?

It's not.

She's right. She's not a hero. She lost it. I understand the many reasons why she did (fear that he would get arrested or... worse... shot and killed, anger that he's participating in destroying property and their neighborhood, etc.), but what she did shouldn't be upheld as good parenting.

[Incitatus]

119. " is essentially justifying police brutality, " Fucking Bullshit

You can't serious compare a parent slapping their kid to a cop murdering an innocent person. If more moms where like this women, the world would be a better place.

[libdem4life]

151. No, this is where it starts. This wasn't the first time...that was clear in the interaction.

From the Liberal Left...if you're still cursing and hitting them with your purse and grabbing their clothes for control when they are taller than you...i.e. teenager, the battle has already been lost. Parenting classes...required. Not judging, just observing as having worked with kids and families for decades.

[Mike Nelson]

129. That was not a "brutal" "beating"

Most parents would want their children home safe, not out on that night.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

134. Gee, I guess the message from the media is we should publicly flog the uppity ni**ers....

That'll be a lesson for the others.

[Duppers]

153. Joan, you missed it on this one

I once treated my then 19yo son in the same fashion when he was going to engage with some very dangerous people. At the age of 22 he profusely thanked me over and over.

If anyone has ever had a extremely head-strong child wanting to do something that could endanger their very life, then they know the fear that causes a mother to get in the middle of that to stop it.

I'm a very loving mom who has a tight bond with her son. I've always been happy and proud to let him fight most of his own battles but this one time, his testosterone was engaged far far more than his brain.

No regrets.

[LittleBlue]

224. Yes. Your son understood what you did for him.

You're a good mother. Has Walsh ever been in that situation?

[Duppers]

238. Thank you!

I doubt if Walsh has a son. I'll find out.

[The Green Manalishi]

165. Until I was 18 I took orders from my parents

And a beating would most definitely ensue if I ignored a direct command to stop doing something and come home.

Never occurred to me to complain about it; live under the 'rents roof, do what they say when they say to do it, and a quick swat was nothing to whine about.

[zentrum]

166. Mainstream

….is lauding her as a hero and missing her sense of terror, as a way of glossing over the systemic racism in the country.

It's as if they are saying see? We can don't have to see our own racism because the real reason for Black violence is the absence of mothers like this, as if the country's racism can be solved by Black parents taking individual responsibility. 'individual responsibility" in the presence of the levels of racism we have, amounts to a dog whistle.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

284. Exactly right! This is exactly what Joan Walsh was saying.

Though I don't agree with a lot of Walsh's writings, especially when it comes to Obama, she is absolutely correct here.

Not sure why the larger point is still being lost on many DUers in this thread.

[liberal N proud]

168. She was just doing everything she could to save her son

I have no concern for her taking her actions as they were necessary to preserve the future and life of her son.

Beat him up or morn his death, she chose to beat him up.

[donnasgirl]

178. liberal you are my hero

Well said.

[totodeinhere]

173. I wonder what Joan Walsh would have done if it had been her son or daughter out there?

I don't even know if she has any children, but it's so easy to sit back in your armchair and judge that mother.

[treestar]

186. so she means white right wingers are applauding it

because she is disciplining her son the right wing way?

Or they are glad she is against her son getting into the riots, so they can say black people don't approve of them?

It's getting pretty complicated.

[Hekate]

188. Women cannot win, I don't care what color we are, we can't win

Mom "beat" her son? I saw a woman frantic with fear that her boy was going to end up dead in the street. I saw a mother jumping into heavy traffic to yank her child from in front of a speeding truck. I saw a mom willing to do what it took to get her kid the hell out of a war zone.

I wept when I tried to describe it to my husband.

Fuck this shit. Just fuck it.

[Dawson Leery]

189. kick

[Doc Holliday]

192. Hmmm.....

Which scenario would be preferable? A justifiably scared mother smacking her son upside the head a couple of times, or the son possibly taking a couple of bullets to the head?

Had that been my kid, he'd have been dragged home by the scruff of his neck, being intermittently bitch-slapped all the way there.
Guess that makes me a shitty parent. Too bad.

[bigtree]

194. Walsh is showing her own privileged 'cluelessness'

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

211. Not sure how. Walsh's argument actually supports what Ms. Graham is saying here.

[bigtree]

226. she can spare me her analysis of why blacks can defend the mom's actions vs. whites

...the actions are defensible because of the environment that Graham and her family are challenged to live and survive in; not because of some generational acceptance of blacks of harsh punishment. What I witnessed wasn't 'discipline,' as much as it was reaction and an attempt to remove her son from the very dangerous situation he'd placed himself in; evidently, in defiance of her best efforts as a mother. Either she removes him from that situation with whatever means she can manage, or the admittedly abusive police force is free to use their own brand of brutality, indifferent to the needs of this young individual.

One important effect of the media highlight has been an affirmation and reminder for families to keep a tighter rein on the activities and location of their children in these problem areas of the community. I'm certain that was the subject in many homes in that community that evening.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

243. Go back and read Walsh's article when you have time. That is exactly

the point she's making. She's arguing that the media is wrongly applauding Graham for what they see as disciplining her son, totally ignoring the fact that she was actually trying to SAVE HIM from harm, not discipline him. She is suggesting that the media, white folk were focusing on the discipline rather than the larger issue, which is protecting him from (1) police brutality or (2) potential violence that may ensue from the rioting itself.

[bigtree]

247. I did 'go back and read' it

She's all over the place with her defense of the mom and her criticism of the media. She uses a broad brush about whites and blacks and makes some condescending remarks about the black community to bolster this weak and contradictory attempt at identifying with black citizens in Baltimore. Perhaps if she was more specific about just who she's referring to...truth is, I really have a distaste for Walsh's attempts at explaining racial issues.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

285. I don't like most of Walsh's writings, especially when she covers Obama.

And I have never forgiven her for going after Melissa Harris Perry who I think was spot on in her analysis of how white people have reacted to President Obama.

But here, I think Walsh is spot on in terms of how whites are conveniently glossing over systemic racism and the manifestation of it in the justice system. The media/whites are making this about Toya Graham's actions, not about the larger issue: the brutality targeted at blacks at the hands of cops. Put it this way: if what happened to Freddie Gray had never happened, Toya would never had to act the way she did because there would have never been a reason for her to. The larger issue is police brutality as a manifestation of racism and system of white supremacy--NOT a mother disciplining her kid because he was hanging out with "black thugs". This is what hate has produced.

[KMOD]

206. a desperate and scared mom

caught on camera and shown nationwide for all of us to critique.

Give Toya Graham a break.

[blackspade]

208. This is a insightful statement....

Last edited Thu Apr 30, 2015, 11:15 AM - Edit history (2)

"But anyone white who’s applauding Graham’s moment of desperation, along with the white media figures who are hyping her “heroism,” is essentially justifying police brutality, and saying the only way to control black kids is to beat the shit out of them."

To be clear, this is a quote from the OP. I just wanted to highlight it.

[MaggieD]

229. [phone]

Spot on.

[Stuckinthebush]

241. ^^^This post is the best of this discussion IMO

Bravo.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

286. Exactly Walsh's point. People here pretending not to understand.

[blackspade]

288. Indeed

To be clear, this is a quote from the OP. I just wanted to highlight it.

[closeupready]

230. It's interesting, Toya Graham recognizes most moms are working

in order to provide for their families, in the CBS snippet provided upthread.

So no, moms can't be everywhere all the time.

[loyalsister]

233. I think Walsh nailed it

I first saw it when a conservative "friend" posted it on FB and it rubbed me wrong then. "This is how you control your kids."

The mother's response is understandable, as she was terrified. The reason she was afraid was not internalized in her son, though. Her fear was born out of fear of how police might treat him. This is the fear a parent might experience if they see their kid running across the street without looking.
Under the current conditions the blame is being placed on the victim rather than the of out of control drivers. Meanwhile, observers are happy to reverse the narrative and place the responsibility for police violence, not only in the hands of the boy, but in the hands of his parents.
There is nothing redeeming or positive in the fact that this mother felt that way. It is tragic. No parent should have to teach her kids that it is within the realm of possibility that they could be hurt or killed by police even when they are model citizens.

To white people "nothing to lose" is a romantic road trip. "Nothing to lose" to a black youth may mean doing what is expected when he is fed up with not seeing a future as a valued citizen.

[Flatulo]

240. Violence against kids is never OK. Whether the police or

a parent is the perpetrator.

A better way to have handled it would have been to keep the kid indoors for the evening, if at all possible.

I would never let my kid out on a night where thousands of bully cops would be locking down the city.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

244. I couldn't agree more.

I also thought she started playing it up for the cameras *in order to fit in* with the stereotype.

[Quantess]

246. What about this one?

facebook.com/officialraylewis/videos/10153320592515701/?pnref=story

[Quantess]

248. That is nuts. The Mom cared enough about the safety of her her son

to go out and find him and bring him home, before he possibly would get killed by police.

[Catherine Vincent]

249. Was the kid actually participating in anything?

Like rock throwing and such? Or was he just standing there like most on that video just watching the protestors?

[tblue37]

250. Apparently he was either throwing a rock or ready to throw one. nt

[UTUSN]

260. Wingnuts will abandon her now they know she's a single parent n/t

[Bonobo]

264. My criticism is not for the mom.

I reserve it for:

1. Those who cheer such behavior in a mom but deplore it in a dad.

2. Those who cheer for it because they subconsciously think that such behavior is to be expected among "black culture".

It is reflective of unexamined racism IMO. A condescending attitude is at work for some.

Then there is the whole "mom's love" double standard. It is an intersectionalist tour de force in terms of how it shows both race and gender double standards.

[Number23]

267. "Praising a mom for beating her son suggests only violence can discipline black kids." WTF??

Who said this? Has anyone actually made this idiotic assertion? Has anyone even remotely suggested this?

Or are people saying that they understand this INDIVIDUAL woman's fear and concern for her child?

[Bonobo]

268. You don't have to say it for it to be obvious that thought is at work unconsciously.

And it becomes obvious when such people are asked to confront the double standard.

If a white mom or dad hot their kid like that, there would be a very different reaction and THAT is where the racism is exposed.

[Number23]

269. If a white mom did the same thing, I'd have the same reaction. I'd understand her fear

and her desperation to get her son out of danger. This is not hard.

[Bonobo]

270. What about a dad?

Don't get angered by the question. I am genuinely curious.

Dad hits son, dad hits daughter. Same power slap. White, black. Your reaction?

Would you interpret it as love?

[Number23]

271. I'm sure this is important to you for some reason, but I have no idea why you are jumping

from race to the differences between mothers and fathers. I'm interested in the topic at hand and this OP is about race and parenting.

[Bonobo]

272. As you said, it is interesting to me. That's all.

It's okay if you don't answer of course.

[Snow Leopard]

279. Only the misguided or

Those with an agenda would construe it that way. A reasonable person would see it for what it was. An upset Mom, getting her kid out of harms way. That is all.

[GOLGO 13]

280. I support & applaud what this Mom did.

She acted with concern and desperation not to see her son get killed by police. She saved his future & probably his life.

I salute you Ms. Graham! Bravo!

[hamsterjill]

287. I salute Ms. Graham, as well.

Sounds like her son understands that what she did, she did out of love.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/baltimore-protests-boy-smacked-mom-cares/story?id=30698915