Can racism be unlearned?

[cynatnite]

My grandmother was born in 1921 in North Carolina. She was raised in the Jim Crow south as was my mother. She was born in 1945. I'm a different generation who had a larger variety of influences and experiences. My sister is 5 years youngers than me, but I have heard her say the "n" word more than once. She despises President Obama and has called him names that makes my stomach knot up.

I have to face the fact that there are members of my family that are racist. I've worked hard to make sure my children do not get any of that and I think I've been successful. My kids are far more open and accepting. They also are of a different generation and their attitudes are almost a complete reversal of my older family members.

My children never had it ingrained in them the way my grandmother and mother did. My grandmother said this when Obama was elected president. "If he wins, the blacks will take over." She was raised to believe this stuff.

My grandmother is in her 90's. I don't think it will ever leave her. My mother...I don't think so either. Family members of mine are not inclined to admit to their own shortcomings.

Do you think it can be unlearned? Do you think a person can truly walk away from their racism or bigotry?

[uponit7771]

1. No doubt, exposure does a lot towards that IMHO

[MrSlayer]

2. Yes.

I did a long time ago. Life experience kind of does that to you, if you're not an idiot.

[yellerpup]

3. Yes, bigotry and racism can be unlearned.

The bigot/racist needs to want to change, but it can be done. The risk of rejecting this ugly way of thinking is being alienated by your family and some people can't make that leap. "That's the way I was raised" is the lousiest excuse in the world. Everyone has their own brain, their own moral compass, and can DECIDE to reject prejudice by doing the right thing.

[cynatnite]

6. Do you think they know that it's wrong after being raised in it?

My grandmother, mother and sister would deny they are racist. I think they only see racism in the context of white robes and a burning cross.

I don't think they recognize it within themselves.

[Uncle Joe]

11. If they only see racism in the context of white robes and a burning cross

but not within themselves, then perhaps they just view racism as an intellectual construct without the emotional ramifications?

They consciously recognize it in others but have subconscious blind-spots in regards to seeing it within themselves.

P.S. In regards to your OP question, yes I believe people can unlearn racism or change through life's minor lessons and major epiphanies.

[yellerpup]

12. My father was the same way.

He only used the 'n' word to identify African Americans and when I once questioned him about the KKK, he said he never heard of anything they ever did wrong. He knew. During an argument, I described him as a bigot and he was deeply offended and told me I didn't know what bigot meant. (I was in my teens at the time) I looked it up in the dictionary and read it aloud to him and he was the VERY DEFINITION of the word. He said, "I don't care, I'm NOT a bigot." He was a bigot and he never changed. I suspect your family members know but won't admit it. Do they say the 'n' word in public? If not, I would take that as proof that they do know.

[demosincebirth]

19. It take an epiphany.

[cynatnite]

21. I had one of those many years ago while in the Army...

I was accused, but the man who did it, did so in a way that was non-confrontational and really made me think about what I was doing. I never believed I was to begin with, but he really made me think. That helped me discover the aspects of myself that at the very least had bigoted tendencies. It was a definite wake-up call. I wish I could thank him.

[yellerpup]

22. Yes, it does.

The earlier in life, the better.

[atreides1]

4. Not for everyone.

Even today it's ingrained...

[RKP5637]

5. I think it can be unlearned if one wants it to be. As other posters said, life

experiences can help to erase racism and/or bigotry from ones programming.

[atreides1]

7. Only if you're open to that change

And can overcome the fear that is part of racism/bigotry...and you're not an idiot!

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. Yes. My father in law was as racist as they come.

My husband, when we first met, held many racist beliefs. He lost those over time.

[doc03]

9. I sometimes thought the Archie Bunker character was bassed on my dad. He wasn't a bad person

that is just the way people are raised around here. I try my best but sometimes I get those thoughts. When you are a lone
liberal in a redneck area it is hard to not be influanced by them at times.

[HopeHoops]

10. Yes. Most "bigots" suffer from ignorance, not stupidity.

Unfortunately, you can't cure stupid, but ignorance can be addressed.

[annabanana]

16. What YOU said ^ . . . .n/t

[TlalocW]

13. I think so

I've seen it to a degree in my brother-in-law as he's gotten older. He's a good, ol' country boy, and I think he'll probably go to the grave with a fair amount of bigotry in him that he'll never be able to overcome - he's not much of one for mixed-marriages (and I doubt he'll even come close to true marriage equality for gays), but he has learned that words can hurt and was deeply ashamed of himself for a while after he let the N-word slip, while helping an older Black man fix his car on the side of the road. The repairs he made weren't permanent but were good enough to get the man home, and my BIL pronounced it, "Nigger-rigged," without thinking and then spent 5 minutes apologizing to the man, who assured him that it was okay, that it wasn't the first or last time he would hear it and appreciated his help.

I can hope he'll continue down that path of improving himself, and I think it's always going to be to different degrees based on the person, we should always hope for the best and encourage them where we can.

TlalocW

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. yes, exposure to respected african americans has been shown to lower implicit prejudice

but i think motivation matters. some people are motivated towards egalitarian goals and some are not. whites have a stake in keeping society as is because it benefits them, so there is generally less motivation to change. (this applies to all dominant groups, straights / men/ whites etc.)

[WillParkinson]

15. Yes, it can...

I was raised in a racist household. My father always talked about the n's at work, and the n's that did this. I grew up thinking that's how it was supposed to be.

2 events put me on a course correction though.

1) While at a drive-in movie with my parents, I saw a black couple walk by the car and made a racist remark. I was quickly shushed, but didn't understand why.

2) (And this one is the most important for me) When I was a teen I suffered from nose bleeds. I had them quite often. One day I was coming home from visiting a friend when my nose started bleeding. An elderly black woman came from the middle of the bus and worked her way up to where I was. She sat down next to me and started trying to talk with me. I ignored her. She took my hand and put some tissues in it from her purse and said that she hoped they'd help, and got up and went back to her seat. I felt so freaking small for my behavior.

Those two events were catalysts for me to realize that my father is a bigot and racist and I had no desire to grow up to be like him.

[WhoIsNumberNone]

17. I've seen examples of ex-Klansmen who did 180s and became civil rights advocates

- Seen them on the teevee that is... I think it can be un-learned. Maybe not by everybody, and only when the person is willing to un-learn. I think the change most often comes the form of an epiphany.

[trof]

18. The best thing we can do for our kids...

is not pass along our prejudices to them.
Try and let them start with a 'clean slate'.

Of course we have to recognize that we have prejudices.
That's difficult, if not impossible, for some.
Generally the less educated, and it's a vicious circle that goes from generation to generation.

I grew up with them in Birmingham, Alabama in the 40s and 50s.
Eventually I realized that I had prejudices.
Practically everyone did back then.
Not just in the south.

One of the things I'm most proud of is that I conquered mine and did not pass them to my daughter.

[SmileyRose]

20. For most people no.

From what I've seen people can overcome racism and bigotry with a lot of work but quietly struggle with leftover prejudices all their lives.

In high school the social studies teacher told me it takes 500 years after slavery ends for a society to be completely over racism. I don't know if that's accurate or not as a lot of what they taught me was wrong. But I think it would take a long time. The idea that me and mine are superior to you and yours is likely much quicker gotten over than the little prejudices that also hold us back.