General Discussion

Sweet Freedom

(3,995 posts) Mon Sep 14, 2015, 10:30 AM Sep 2015

Dear Prudence: My mother’s vitriolic support for the Donald

My mother’s vitriolic support for the Donald is jeopardizing her job—and our relationship.

Dear Prudence,
I am in my late 20s and tend to lean to the left politically. My mother, who is in her late 50s, was never very political until Donald Trump spewed his venomous ideas about immigration. Now she refers to him as “my man Donald.” My mother works as a nurse in a clinic that caters to a mostly poor population, many of whom are Hispanic. She now thinks that anyone who speaks Spanish or who is of Latino origin is an illegal immigrant. She constantly posts things on Facebook like “When my man Donald is President, I won't have to deal with anymore illegals and anchor babies at [name of her workplace.]” I keep warning her that she could be fired for that, which would be especially bad because she would lose her pension and is less than five years away from retirement, but she rebukes me. She speaks like this in public, trying to get people to react or agree. It makes me sick. I am a teacher and work with a poor Hispanic population. I love all of my kids and know their day-to-day struggles; I try so hard to be a positive role model in their lives and someone they can trust. My mother speaks her hateful views more each time I talk to or am around her. It’s gotten to the point where I cannot stand to be around my mother anymore. Can you offer any advice on how to deal with her or what to do to avoid her? I can’t imagine living this way until next year’s election.

—Democrat Daughter

Dear Daughter,
Since your mother has such contempt for the people she is supposed to serve, it might be good for everyone if she lost her job. I am baffled at the polling numbers for Donald Trump, raging narcissist, but in your mother’s case, it sounds as if her political awakening could be a possible sign of a medical problem. If a previously apolitical person is mouthing off and posting on social media in a way that disparages her patients and puts her job and financial future in jeopardy, then something is off. You are describing a fairly drastic change in personality, so I think it’s worth persuading your mother to get a complete checkup. Please do let us know if the cause of her crush on the Donald is a brain tumor. (Note to Donald: I’m not menstruating.) But if Mom is fine and she’s just responding to Trump’s fantasies of an America sans Spanish speakers, then you need to have a blunt talk with her. Tell her what she’s been saying makes you sick, and you and your mother need to agree to go back to Donald-free discussions or else you two are on hiatus until Trump is no longer politically relevant. Add that if he’s elected president, you will endure an epic gloating session. Say that you’re cutting off your social media connections to her so you don’t have to read her rants. Explain to her that of course she’s entitled to her own views, but when she expresses them publicly, and especially electronically, she’s potentially creating grounds for dismissal and the loss of her pension. Let her know that if that happens, you will be unable to financially bail her out. Let’s hope “her man” craters soon for her sake, yours, and the country’s.

—Prudie