Neighbors sue to declare autistic boy a public nuisance

[KamaAina]

I wish this were The Onion. Believe me. But it is not.

http://www.mercurynews.com/health/ci_28832426/sunnyvale-neighbors-sue-banish-autistic-boys-family-claiming

When neighbors complained about Vidyut Gopal and Parul Agrawal's young son with autism pulling children's hair, biting a woman and other menacing behavior, the couple said they did what they could to make it stop.

They hired caregivers, gave the boy special medication, and put him in therapeutic classes. But instead of bringing calm to Arlington Court, the Silicon Valley couple got slapped with a lawsuit that called their son a "public nuisance" -- and ultimately drove them out of their home of seven years.

Now, Gopal and Agrawal find themselves in the midst of a legal battle that has sparked outrage among parents of children with autism everywhere, and raised troubling questions about how to coexist with neighbors with special needs kids....

The lawsuit -- filed last summer by two couples who lived in homes that flanked Gopal and Agrawal's house -- alleges that the boy's disruptive behavior also created an "as-yet unquantified chilling effect on the otherwise 'hot' local real estate market" and that "people feel constrained in the marketability of their homes as this issue remains unresolved and the nuisance remains unabated."

So now we lower property values? Where have I heard that before? Oh right, that's what white people used to say when African Americans moved into their neighborhoods. I guess we've truly arrived as a minority.

I do find the sitting on the cat thing rather odd. For one thing, what self-respecting cat would allow that? Plus, many Autistic people, present company very much included, are hard-core cat people. Cats were my friends many years before people ever were.

[hlthe2b]

1. Some days I don't even want to be part of American society...

or maybe I just want to be my dog... Dogs are wonderful. They see another--one of their kind, or another species-- having a problem, and instinctively want to help. Seems we humans are increasingly going in the other direction. sigh...

[yeoman6987]

2. Pulling kids hair? Why are the kids close enough for that to happen?

That is absurd. Kids don't go around pulling hair unless provoked.

[proverbialwisdom]

13. Huffington Post: My Son Has the Kind of Autism No One Talks About

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bonnie-zampino/is-autism-the-real-public_b_8191918.html

My Son Has the Kind of Autism No One Talks About

Posted: 09/25/2015 1:55 pm EDT Updated: 09/28/2015 9:59 am EDT
By Bonnie Zampino

Link from: https://twitter.com/AutismMedia

[11 Bravo]

32. As an elementary school teacher for 40 years all I can say is ...

you are wrong. Some kids pull hair (and bite, kick, punch and scratch) because they feel like it. And not all of them are on the spectrum.

[jwirr]

3. Years ago when the ARC started moving its members

children out of the institutions into the communities. That property value issue was raised there also. Neighbors did not want group homes in their neighborhood. The expected drop in the value of other homes in the neighborhood never happened.

One of my granddaughters owns a home right next to a couple who have twin boys with special needs problems. The boys are very mean to each other and sometimes to the neighborhood children. This couple also did the same things to stop their boys activity but it did not stop it totally. The family built a huge fenced in back yard for the boys and they play there most of the time. When they do interact with the neighborhood children there is always a PCA present.

My great grandson who is big enough to protect himself from the boys has started playing basketball with them. The neighborhood works together to solve the problems.

[Gormy Cuss]

4. As if any child could lower the property values in Sili Valley. *rolls eyes.*

It sounds like this child is a handful and that the parents may have been slow to respond to neighbor complaints but maybe now the boy has a better support system.

The neighbor talking about the sad faced boy looking out the window ..

[vankuria]

5. I find this heartbreaking

Parents of autistic children have it tough enough fighting for their children's educational needs and their future, how cruel to be suing them, saying their child is a "public nuisance".

Wouldn't it be a wonderful world, where neighbors who know families that have a rough go, because of a disabled child could ask if their is anything they could do to help? I'm dreaming I know, but people are so damn selfish, if something upsets their life, get rid of it by any means you can.

[REP]

6. These parents did little to control their child's dangerous behavior for years

This is not so much about his autism, but his parents using his condition as a reason to not make any effort until finally the neighbors were tired of being bitten, hit, rammed with a bicycle, etc. and resorted to the legal system. The parents are the problem; the kid doesn't know better because he's never been taught any better.

[pnwmom]

16. This article contains NOTHING to support your assertion.

It mentions a few things that happened over the years, including the boy sitting on a cat and slapping a baby with his hand. And it talks about him being stuck inside, unable to play with other kids -- which disproves your idea that the parents haven't been making any effort. The neighbor who lives directly across the street isn't criticizing him or his parents -- and she knows the situation far better than any of us.

To say, "the kid doesn't know better because he's never been taught any better" demonstrates your ignorance. YOU need to fill in some major gaps in your own education.

From the OP:

Stephen Rosenbaum, a lecturer at the UC Berkeley Law School, who specializes in disability rights and is familiar with the lawsuit, said he is surprised the case has continued as long as it has.

"This is something that should never have gone to court, in my view," said Rosenbaum, who is also an associate professor at Golden Gate University School of Law. Instead, he said, it should have been resolved through an informal dispute resolution process or mediation; sources, however, say that route failed.

"The plaintiffs make it out to be that there's a monster at large in the neighborhood, but I know from the standpoint both as an attorney and as a parent myself of a young man who had a disability that there may be things that are the perception by the rest of the community that can be at odds with reality."

[REP]

21. I lived in that neighborhood for years

So, nice try.

[pnwmom]

22. So? Living in "that neighborhood" doesn't qualify you as an unbiased expert.

The neighbor directly across the street disagrees with you. She felt sorry for the boy and wasn't mad at the parents.

[kcr]

24. Thank you

Living in the same neighborhood doesn't qualify one as an expert on how well someone else parented their kid. For fuck's sake.

[lumberjack_jeff]

33. So your solution to autism is to teach it away.

Cool! Who ever knew that it was so easy!

because honesty is probably not rule-compliant.

[LanternWaste]

40. What objective evidence leads you to that specific conclusion?

What objective evidence leads you to that specific conclusion?

[msongs]

7. some autistic kids can be violent and a threat to others to others. It is up to the responsible

adults to regulate the behavior of their kids, autistic or otherwise. "special needs"is not license to cause injury or harm to others.

[pnwmom]

17. The neighbor across the street knows the situation, and she doesn't agree with

the neighbors doing the lawsuit. She feels sorry for the boy, who is only 11.

[Orrex]

25. Um. Does living in "that neighborhood" qualify the neighbor as an unbiased expert?

[lumberjack_jeff]

34. The developmental disability administration in my state offers intensive behavioral support

services.

These services allow children to live in their community instead of being shipped off to the institution the neighbors would prefer due to "property values".

I really can't express how much this topic, and the DU'ers defending it, pisses me off.

[pnwmom]

39. It's infuriating to me, too.

Over the years, I watched more and more of my kids' classmates have this. It's been steadily increasing.

And I've seen how hard their parents work to meet their needs.

The idea that a child with autism who is acting out simply needs to be taught manners is incredibly ignorant, especially here.

[phylny]

8. I work with parents of children with autism, and have worked with lots of

kids with autism in my career. The first thing I say to parents when the child is very, very young is that they need to consistently work on behavior, because "One day he'll be 16 years old and 160 pounds of pure muscle, and you won't be able to physically help or control him."

I'm not sure I buy the "property values" complaint, but I can see where not being able to allow your children outside to play without fear or being hurt is a very valid concern. If this child is not able to control his behavior, it is the responsibility of his parents to find a way to accommodate the needs of their child with the safety of others.

[kcr]

23. The fact they're worried about property values isn't a clue?

You should be a little more sure about that before you can see where they're coming from.

[Rex]

9. We're hated by a certain part of the community, then again they would find someone else

to hate upon since people like that live to hate and bring misery to others lives. They only exist in this world, like a lower life form. Emotions are all they have, not higher brain functions.

Sitting on a cat? Sounds like a total lie. Bigots that hate usually lie as much as they hate.

[pnwmom]

18. I know -- what cat would allow some kid to sit on it without doing major damage to the human?

[bettyellen]

37. A sleeping cat. Been there, seen that.

[MissB]

10. The only kid in our former neighborhood

is autistic. We did a few playmates with him but moved before any sort of real long term friendship could start. (We didn't move because of him!!! We moved to get to a better school district for our kids that were nearly school age.)

I still go back to see that neighborhood. The boy's mother has worked so hard for the last 12 years. I still try to separate the kid that used to bite and hit my kids from the young man that he is today. The empathy and kindness that he shows is probably not remarkable to folks that interact with kids on the autism spectrum, but it seems quite amazing to me. This young man would rock his body and avoid eye contact as a child - he now holds long and deep conversations with me.

These neighbors are horrifically inhuman idiots - suing because they feel the kid is destructive and lowering property taxes? Ugh.

[meow2u3]

11. The parents ought to countersue the neighbors

I'm sick of these ableist assholes who put property values ahead of human beings--especially disabled human beings who CAN'T behave as they're expected to act. The neighbors suing ought to take a crash course in how to deal with a disabled child. Sounds like they're assuming the autistic kid is acting strangely on purpose as if he could choose not be behave in a peculiar way.

If there is a public nuisance in the neighborhood, it's the intolerant bigots who bitch about property values--money--and prejudice against an autistic kid. Last I checked, disability discrimination in housing is illegal and those neighbors' complaint is unfounded and based solely on stereotypes and ableist bigotry. They even ran them out of their own home; the parents have to rent out the house to recoup their money.

[KamaAina]

12. Someone else at DU knows the word "ableist"?!

For those of you playing along at home, it's the disability equivalent of racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.

[Jesus Malverde]

14. The injunction seems reasonable and would apply to all of us..

a Santa Clara County Superior Court judge last October issued a preliminary injunction against them to ensure their son does not strike, assault, or batter anyone in the neighborhood or their personal property.

Is there something unreasonable there?

[pnwmom]

19. The boy is 11, with a disability, and they're treating him like he's a hardened criminal. n/t

[Jesus Malverde]

15. It looks like a different judge got the families into mediation.

http://www.mercurynews.com/health/ci_28857391/sunnyvale-controversial-case-about-autistic-boys-behavior-heads

[pnwmom]

20. It sounds like both the couples suing want significant financial awards.

Because otherwise why go on? They've both moved away.

So I doubt that this mediation will succeed.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

26. i saw a very interesting article written on this issue that i think makes a lot of sense

she's the mother of an autistic child and her story basically had two main points.

1. there are degrees of autism. the degree you have, is not the degree this kid has. I dont think its fair to conflate the two.

2. everyone in this story over-reacted, but can you really blame people for not wanting someone to assault their kids? That is not an illegitimate concern. of course saying that he lowers property values is absurd. still, saying that these parents had no right to be upset, is just illogical.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/autism-behaviour/

[KamaAina]

27. You should have seen me when I was 11

not quite like this kid -- no sitting on cats! -- but definitely prone to violent tantrums (we call them "meltdowns&quot .

[La Lioness Priyanka]

28. but did your meltdown threaten other children? did it involve slapping babies?

my brother not autistic at all used to have meltdowns in department stores all the time. it inconvenienced and embarrassed us but in no way threatened others.

[lumberjack_jeff]

36. When my son was 6 or 7...

... he had significant sensory integration problems, most problematic of which was loud noises.

One day I was called to the school by the principal because he had "attempted to choke" a little girl at recess. I knew most of the teachers, and at that time he was accompanied by 1:1 paraeducator. I insisted that the paraeducator be invited to the meeting.

It turns out that the girl started screaming in the covered/enclosed play area. He placed his hand over her mouth and the kids didn't understand what the weird kid was doing.

I have tons of relevant experience that proves to me that behavior that is considered normal play for neurotypical kids is considered assault when an autistic kid does it.

Parenting kids with autism is challenging in the best of circumstances. Neighbors who demand you move or place him in an institution isn't a good circumstance at all.

[Frustratedlady]

29. The headline gave me chills. Have we slipped so low we can't have compassion for anything?

I am scared for this country and the direction in which it is evolving. So much hate from so many people and not a whole lot of common sense to go with it.

We are our own worst enemy.

[NaturalHigh]

30. I don't get this part.

To Gopal and Agrawal's dismay, a Santa Clara County Superior Court judge last October issued a preliminary injunction against them to ensure their son does not strike, assault, or batter anyone in the neighborhood or their personal property.

To their dismay? What is so unreasonable about that?

[lumberjack_jeff]

35. It depends on the "or else" language following the injunction. n/t

[dembotoz]

31. perhaps property values went down because it got to be know there were asshole neighbors

i live in a condo and asshole neighbors can be much worse than an autistic kid

there are some folks who will write up a report if you fart in the pool.

i am currently fortunate. My cousin who lives in same complex about a 1/4 mile away....not so much
I go over there and from what i see and hear i want to come back and hug and kiss my neighbors....but then that would get me written up.

[kiva]

38. I don't see any proof that this boy has lowered property values.

I also am pretty disgusted with the parents - "To Gopal and Agrawal's dismay, a Santa Clara County Superior Court judge last October issued a preliminary injunction against them to ensure their son does not strike, assault, or batter anyone in the neighborhood or their personal property." Really? They are 'dismayed' that the judge wants them to stop their child from assaulting anyone or any property? Sounds sort of like a normal expectation to me.