Trump the GOP defender of the faith

[Generic Other]

“First Presbyterian Church in Jamaica, Queens, is where I WENT to church,” he told Christian Broadcasting Network in 2012.

Revealing use of past tense as in he once WENT but does not now GO. He got married in 2005 in an Episcopalian church.

He claims to go to church when he can:

“Always on Christmas. Always on Easter. Always when there’s a major occasion” (like one of his many marriages?) Trump said in 2012. Then he added: “I’m a Sunday church person.”

There is a term for this type of churchgoer: chreaster, Twice a year Christian, Holly and Lily Christian…most regular churchgoers disparage such persons.

"Nothing Beats the Bible"

In the same 2012 CBN interview, Trump said fans often send him Bibles and he keeps every one of them “in a very nice place.” “There’s no way I would ever throw anything, to do anything negative to a Bible,” Trump said. “I would have a fear of doing something other than very positive, so actually I store them and keep them and sometimes give them away to other people but I do get sent a lot of Bibles and I like that. I think that’s great.” http://www.religionnews.com/2015/06/16/5-faith-facts-donald-trump-presbyterian-collects-bibles/

No evidence of a Bible collection in his possession.

Here he is impressing the evangelicals during the Family Leadership Summit in Ames, Iowa this year:

“When we go in church and I drink the little wine, which is about the only wine I drink, and I eat the little cracker — I guess that’s a form of asking forgiveness,” Mr. Trump said.

Presbyterians do not use wine in communion opting instead for Welch’s grape juice.

“You go to stores now, you don’t see the word ‘Christmas’. It says ‘Happy Holidays’ all over. I say, ‘Where’s Christmas?’ I tell my wife: ‘Don’t go to those stores. I want to see Christmas. No, I want to see Christmas.’ And you know, other people can have their holidays, no. But Christmas is Christmas. I want to see ‘Merry Christmas’.” Trump pledged: “You’re going to see it if I get elected, I can tell you right now.”

Henceforth when Trump is elected, Christmas ads will begin in June. The word “holiday” will be banned. Newspapers will be required to post daily how many shopping days are left until Christmas.

“There’s so many things that you can learn from the Bible. Proverbs, the chapter ‘never bend to envy.’ I’ve had that thing all of my life where people are bending to envy ... The more you see [the Bible], the more you read it, the more incredible it is. I don’t like to use this analogy, but it’s like a great movie, a great, incredible movie. You’ll see it once, it will be good. You’ll see it again. You can see it 20 times and every time you’ll appreciate it more. The Bible is the most special thing,” he declared. But Trump’s favorite passage doesn’t seem to actually exist.

http://www.truthdig.com/eartotheground/item/donald_trump_reveals_his_favorite_bible_passage_that_he_made_up_20150916

Even the other candidates are suspicious:

“Now you may have recently heard and seen that Donald Trump said that the Bible is his favorite book. Yet, when asked, he couldn’t even name a specific or a single Bible verse that was important to him, that had an impact on him. Well do you know why? Well it’s clear, Donald Trump’s never read the Bible. The reason we know he’s never read the Bible, he’s not in the Bible,” said Jindal.

http://cnsnews.com/news/article/melanie-hunter/bobby-jindal-donald-trumps-never-read-bible-because-hes-not-bible

Twitter fans have created a Trump Bible full of clever verses he probably likes (sorry, I can’t figure out how to cut and paste my faves from Twitter):

But when he lifted his arms, the hair did not part, for lo - it had been combed over.

"Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, haters and losers, into the eternal fire, which is Mexico.'"

I would have rebuilt the walls of Jericho and made the Canaanites pay for it

Joseph & Mary rode a donkey into a foreign town to have a baby in a manger? Sound like illegals to me. #AnchorBaby #TrumpBible #BuildAWall

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/08/30/here-are-the-greatest-classiest-verses-in-the-trump-bible/

Perhaps Trump is one of those false prophets the faithful were warned to watch out for? I will end my Sunday sermon and let someone else carry the torch.

I read at least one evangelical pastor defending Trump by claiming God has chosen an unbeliever to deliver his words. That sounds too bizarre and I am tired of cutting and pasting the thoughts of nutjobs…That there are actually people who believe Donald Trump is going to be used by God as a trumpet in America to expose darkness and perversion makes me want to pee my pants laughing, but whatever floats your boat...