Seventh Heaven? Are you F*ing Serious?

[Kath1]

My ex and I finalized divorce in 2004. He had become a total right-wing, pro-war, anti-choice, hard-core Catholic fanatic in 2002 - 2003. ( He was apolitical until he got hooked on Limbaugh.) We had way too many differences and arguments on religion, politics and the way to raise our daughter. Then I found out he was cheating and that was it. I got custody and he got visitation, which he was not very invested in. My adult daughter has wanted to get to know him more again and has met him for dinner and some social occasions. Well, she went to visit her father tonight. She called me around 11:00 and was glad I was still up. Said she was coming over. He had her sit down and watch Seventh Heaven with him - for 3 hours. Told her she should watch it all the time to overcome the "brainwashing" I had done to her as a teenager. She apparently left there on polite terms but was livid by the time she saw me. *Seventh Heaven? Are you fucking serious?" She kept yelling that. She said it was the most painful 3 hours of TV she ever experienced. I've never watched it, but she said it is "total bullshit." Said she would never go there again.

Much as I dislike him, I calmed her down, told her it is just a damn television program and no big deal. Next time, plan something that doesn't involve the boob tube. Told her that he is, at heart, a good guy who loves her and cares for her. She agreed.

Jesus Christ! What an idiot! I WANT them to reconcile and have a relationship and he makes a person he knows is a feminist, liberal and atheist watch some Christian program?

I will go to bed with a headache tonight.

Sorry for the long rant, but I just had to get it out and vent.

[JanMichael]

1. indeed with all the little kid diddling 7th is nasty. nt

[marym625]

2. and the star is a self confessed pedophile

Just, wow!

[Kath1]

4. I didn't even know that!

Neither does my daughter!

Unbelievable.

[marym625]

9. one of a zillion articles about it

My dad used to watch this with his grandkids. They bonded with that show. I'm just glad my dad never knew this. I know that's silly but it would have hurt him.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2014/10/07/stephen-collins-child-molestation-tmz-7th-heaven/16846839/

[Kath1]

11. Glad your dad didn't have that heartbreak.

I'm sure it would have hurt. All of this is new to me.

[marym625]

28. Thank you

Your daughter is lucky to have you for her mom.

I would bet her dad doesn't know about Stephen what's his name. What is really sad is he thinks a tv show will do more than actually talking to her and listening to her.

They'll work it out. She wants a relationship enough to sit through 3 hours of a crappy show. He wants a relationship badly enough to try and show her the way. A crazy way but the way as far as he's concerned. So, they'll eventually get there.

In the mean time, she has you

[Gman]

3. Excellent rant

Funny how the conservatism came on like it did. You did right calming her down.

[Kath1]

6. Thank you.

Hate only hurts yourself.

We disagree on a lot but love our girl. The man is just clueless, which drives me nuts!

[Gman]

34. Clueless just scratches the surface with my ex

But not in politics, strangely enough. It's a long story, but I get it about clueless ex-spouses. I'm

[ladyVet]

18. It happened quickly with my ex.

It was in the late 70s, so not as much right-wing talk radio or TV. He started going to church (probably following some woman he was interested in, I think someone he worked with), got saved, and instant conservative nut job. Took about a month, from what I remember him saying when he finally told me.

Funny thing is, he was a much better Christian before he was saved. A generous, loving person, not a racist or misogynist bone in his body. After? Hated everything not his brand of Christianity, other religions, other races, gays, you name it. Serial adultery? No problem, got the get out of sin free card, no limits, frequent sinner points.

From what our sons say, he's toned it down a lot over the years, but we no longer speak much.

[Kath1]

23. I can relate.

Similar situation.

[Liberal_in_LA]

5. The religion in 7th heaven was mild

[Hyper_Eye]

17. But the cheese was strong

[erpowers]

39. My Thought

When I was reading the original post my first thought was, I did not recall the show being overly religious. My second thought was, maybe I that was just me and maybe I did not pick up on all the themes involved in the show.

[ancianita]

7. Level headed adult children see through parental shortcomings. She'll never be the same with him.

But forgiveness is the next stage... you did good.

[Kath1]

8. Thank you for the kind words.

I walk a difficult line sometimes and I just hope I do the right thing.

Peace.

[Warren DeMontague]

10. By my math, he owes her 3 hours of them both watching whatever she wants.

If she's still up for it.

Hmmmmmm.

[Kath1]

12. THaaaaannnkkk you!

That is excellent! She'll be up for it. Great thought.

Thank you so much! LOVE IT.

[left on green only]

20. Suggest That She Rent Some Of Jessica Biel's (nee Mary Camedon's) Later Movies....

....and brings them along on her next visit to see him. Then she can insist that they watch them together. Also advise her to suggest to him, for his own comfort, that he wear some lose fitting trousers. Revenge is sweet!

[hatrack]

29. The new Cosmos is really good . . . .

[pamela]

38. I suggest a Michael Moore movie

Fahrenheit 9/11, Bowling For Columbine, Sicko or, the classic, Roger and Me

Not MM, but it sounds like he would benefit greatly from a viewing of Outfoxed, too.

[awoke_in_2003]

37. My vote is Rocky Horror Picture Show...

that will wipe all that nasty 7th Heaven crap out of a head

[Warren DeMontague]

40. yeah, that's right in line with where I would go with this deal, too.

Although probably nothing is like seeing it at midnight at the UC Theater in Berekely in 1988, which I think was how I first saw that thing.

[awoke_in_2003]

42. I graduated high school in 86

Prior to that, I was present at at least 100 screenings of RHPS. I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania

[Warren DeMontague]

43. We're close in age. I knew people who were obsessively into Rocky Horror the way I was into the Dead

I was in a different cult, apparently.

[awoke_in_2003]

44. Cult? Maybe.,,,

I was just having a great time. Some cults are funner than others . I was watching RHPS a couple months ago at home, and the wife came in because she heard me singing. Let's just say she didn't get it.

[Warren DeMontague]

45. Ha! That's EXACTLY HOW MY WIFE FEELS ABOUT THE DEAD

Well, unfortunately the cultural landscape of the 80s was so barren, pretty much anything that "the weird" people found entertaining enough to get high and go do on a regular basis, was somehow suspect.

It was tons of fun, the one time I went in Berkeley. They had the whole thing going. I could totally see the appeal.

[MoonchildCA]

13. Seventh Heaven was a show about a preacher...

...with a bunch of promiscuous kids. Bad TV, yes, but hardly created for converting the unfaithful.

[Kath1]

14. I don't get the thought process.

Never did.

[Jamastiene]

15. Advise her to only ever meet him in public or in some way that doesn't

involve feeling trapped in a crappy situation like that. Is he giving her a taste of Hell making her watch that garbage or what? Being trapped watching 3 hours of that crap should be on the list of torture methods used by Cheney, et al. That show was THAT bad and THAT preachy.

[solar Max]

41. Yeah

He's making her watch a TV show starring a child molester. That sets off all of my alarms.

[Liberal In Texas]

16. Errr, it's obvious

that he's trying to brainwash her.

Apparently your daughter is now an adult and can make up her own mind about things, but don't try to force some sort of paternal intimacy when you know he's going to try to push some crazy agenda.

Listen to your daughter, if she doesn't want to go there again, don't push it. This guy sounds like 12 times crazy and don't make her put up with his nonsense.

There is NO reason for them to "reconcile" their relationship. Your daughter is way more important than the ex. I would be working to try to keep them as far apart as possible.

Good luck.

[Demeter]

19. I agree with L in T

You aren't going to be able to save this idiot from himself, and neither can his daughter.

Toxic relationships are not worth it. There is no way, no leverage, to effect change. You will just drive yourself and your daughter crazy trying.

[Kath1]

24. Thank you.

I'm going to let her make up her own mind. The experience made her very uncomfortable. She's smart. She'll make the right decision.

[Kath1]

27. I just watched an episode of that program.

I can't believe she sat through that! He has really lost his mind.

I will NOT encourage her to go back. Very creepy.

[Dont call me Shirley]

33. Excellent point, L in T. Don't encourage a relationship any further, just let it go. He will

eventually push your daughter away as he refuses to allow her to have a separate pov. Stave off the crisis.

[Ilsa]

21. Consider this: he may have been trying to wreck

Her relationship with you, or, subconsciously, try to wreck his relationship with her. He doesn't like that she has your values and that he can't control her.

Let him make amends before encouraging her to go back, if she wants to.

[Kath1]

25. Very true.

He is a control freak and he has no love lost for me.

[msanthrope]

22. She should tell him that viewing experience taught her that people can

play at being Christian....all the while doing horrible acts.

[Kath1]

26. I didn't even know about the show.

Much less the molestation.

[Person 2713]

30. I never heard of this movie but perhaps she should from now on meet him in public

Places where both are in equal control of the environment. She can say she really enjoys dinner out or likes walking in the park shopping etc

[sudenlyseymour]

31. Kudos to you for being neutral.

It speaks very well of your character that you encouraged your daugther to try (test out) to have a relationship with her father. Despite his conversion to something not so great she deserved the opporunity to make up her mind on her own - not based solely on your opinion.

You allowed her that. She sounds like she is more than capable to deal with the reality about her dad based on her own experience and make decisions on her own. Not ones you imposed on her.

You seem like a great mother. You raised your kid as best you could and now you allow her to fly on her own.

[Kath1]

32. Thanks for the kind words.

I do what I can.

[hifiguy]

35. What a loon.

You did good.

[Kath1]

36. He's really gone nuts.

What else can I say?