BREAKING: Ben Carson concerned Oregon YeeHawdists may turn gay.

[Atman]

Last edited Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:50 PM - Edit history (1)

BURNS, OREGON (BS) - In a last-ditch effort to reinvigorate his flagging book sales/presidential campaign, Dr. Ben Carson announced in a press conference today that he is concerned that the Birdwatcher YeeHawdis, currently holed up in the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Burns, Oregon, may resort to turning gay if federal law enforcement authorities cut off their electricity and water.

Carson remarked "The brain gets cold. You're cold. You're out of snacks. Snuggling with Ammon Bundy begins to look more appealing than freezing to death. Next thing you know, we're holding gay weddings on Federal land. There is not a good outcome to this."

Asked if he supports the actions of the self-important delusional patriots, Carson said he would be doing a book signing at the gates to Malheur Wildlife Refuge on Thursday, from 11:00 - 1:00. Coffee and snacks will be served.

[randys1]

1. Gay and Black, I hear your skin can change color in those harsh conditions.

[jmowreader]

14. It can...

but we call that fourth degree frostbite, not conversion into a gay black man.

[MrWendel]

2. How much...

gay porn does this guy actually watch?

[Atman]

3. Disclaimer: Satire. I wrote this.

But feel free to copy and paste.

[Vinca]

6. Phew . . . I thought we'd sunk to the next level of insanity.

Good writing, though. I believed it came out of Carson.

[NastyRiffraff]

7. It's hard to tell

satire from the real thing with this bunch. I thought the story where they're begging for snacks and cold weather gear to be from The Onion. Nope. It's real!

[Marrah_G]

8. lmao

[Buzz Clik]

4. Wait. Isn't Ben Carson gay?

[randome]

5. If anyone knows brains, it's Doc Carson!

[hr][font color="blue"][center]I'm always right. When I'm wrong I admit it.
So then I'm right about being wrong.[/center][/font][hr]

[yuiyoshida]

9. Baka, doji, manuke (Ben Carson)

Idiot, Clumsy, Stupid.

[yellowcanine]

10. Better send a supply of these then:

[Eleanors38]

11. Yes, use the contents to calk the building when it gets really cold.

[Atman]

12. ^^Bwhaha!**

Perfect!

[jmowreader]

15. Do they have a Trojan Agony? I'd rather send those

They're three sizes too small, steel-belted and coated on the inside with "stay hard" cream.

[Gods Slayer]

13. Is that from the Onion?

It's the book signing bit which was a clue this was a joke