Neighbors

[malaise]

I watched something really sad on one of the newscasts. This man was talking about the couple who were killed in that Florida tornado last night. He was clearly crying - said they were my neighbors and they may be gone but they'll never be forgotten.

It got me thinking - we don't get to choose neighbors and those of us who have lived near the same people for decades would understand his pain. I've been very lucky all my life when it comes to neighbors. Many of us have genuine friends in the neighborhood. Neighbors matter.

I'll bake something nice for two of mine this coming weekend.

What's the kindest thing a neighbor did for you?

[lunatica]

1. I really like my neighbors

We live in a condo and there are four condos per side of the building. All my neighbors are single. One is probably in her 40s but the rest of us in our 60s and 70s. We do things for each other all the time and yet we totally respect each others privacy.

[malaise]

4. That matters - many younger folks are very decent

[Cassiopeia]

2. Plowed our very long driveway after 2 feet of snow

for nothing more than a cup of coffee. Lived in VA at the time and we did not have the equipment to handle the job. He did the entire neighborhood at his cost.

[malaise]

3. We need to remember how well we live with others

when the media, corporations, religions and politicians try to make us hate one another

[gvstn]

37. So true.

They try to make us hate one another when most people are really caring persons and not haters when it comes down to it.

[malaise]

38. Every society has decent folks and scumbags

Those who live among the decent folks are really lucky.

[gvstn]

39. Used to be.

You knew all your neighbors on your street.

You knew them all by name and could give or borrow from them as needed. Now, it is get your own or get out.

If I needed a certain tool I could borrow it from my neighbor, now he is just some guy down the street whose name I don't even know. We all don't need our own 300hpr leaf blowers. We could share one and do pretty well with it.

Lucky, indeed.

[malaise]

40. It is changing but there are still pockets full of decent folks around

[Siwsan]

5. My neighbor, Jon, always clears my driveway when we get a big snowfall

I have a wimpy little snow blower that gets it done - eventually. But more often than not, he's out there taking care of things, before I am even dressed, in the morning! Last year, when he knew I was dealing with the deaths of my sister and mom, he banished me to inside and said not to worry about any more snow-blowing. He'd take care of it for the remainder of the winter.

And, as a side note, Jon is a pretty conservative Republican and knows my political beliefs. But he's 'old school' conservative, and it's nice to know there are still a few of them around.

He gets gifted with lots of fresh veg from my garden, in the summer.

[malaise]

7. All of us know the political beliefs around here

They don't matter. Those of us with nice neighbors are lucky

[Siwsan]

9. Absolutely. I wish my situation with people at work had been as amiable

I'm about to head back, as a part time temp to help them out of a huge work backlog. Which means I'll be back around the born again tea partier homophobe who drove me into early retirement, in the first place. She's a prime example of the new school conservative.

I've already warned HR that if she starts up with me, again, I'll walk out the door.

[malaise]

11. Well you know there are people who live next door to some of these people

They make neighborhoods hell

[Siwsan]

15. True. I'm very lucky

I live in a racially/culturally mixed neighborhood, and it is one of the best places I've ever lived. When someone is in need, they don't have to go far to find help. A lot of the people have been here for years. I inherited my Aunt's house. She and my uncle had lived here for over 30 years and I was always a frequent visitor. Once I moved in, the neighbors all came over to introduce themselves. Really made me feel at home.

[kas125]

6. I have wonderful neighbors. Some I've known since 1968 when my parents bought

this house, some I've only known for ten years. When the ones next door moved in ten years ago, they told me that we had to get to know and love each other because when something happens, it's not your friends or relatives who are around, it's your neighbors. I didn't realize at the time how right they were, but I do now. They were here to help me care for my dad in his last years and especially in his last weeks and they've been here to help me ever since. I get big bottles of homemade pina coladas, pastelillos, and tamales and I make them soup or bake them cakes. They are always only steps away if I need them or if they need me and I truly love them.

[malaise]

8. Yep when something happens it is often the neighbors

Lovely neighbors

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. My neighbor cried just as hard as I did when my sheltie, Jessie, died.

She brings over gumbo just because. She welcomed me to the neighborhood with freshly made beignets. Can you tell she's originally from NOLA?

Tonight, I'm running over to hang out with their cat because they are camping--they took the dogs with them or I'd be hanging with them too. Yes, I got lucky to have a neighbor who is a friend.

[malaise]

13. Gumbo just because

OK then - that's cool

[Liberal_in_LA]

22. Awwww. Thats sweet

[Blue_In_AK]

12. My neighbors are slobs.

I really have nothing nice to say about either of them. I guess the people to the east of me are nice enough, but today they brought ANOTHER dead vehicle into their yard. The guy to the west is a hoarder and a jerk. I'm just waiting for him to die or move away.

I do like my tenants, though. For the 25 years I've lived here, I've always rented to friends or family.

[malaise]

14. And that's the other side of it

Some folks do live next to awful people.

[3catwoman3]

26. We had great next door neighbors for almost 20 years.

They moved about 3 years ago, and the people who bought the house are not so great. The husband mows the lawn at 9:30 at night. They have loud parties in their back yard until very late.

We had to put up a fence to keep their very large German shepherd from leaving his very large "calling cards" in our yard. When my husband spoke to the guy about the dog, his solution was that we should go around and mark the deposits with little flags so he would know where to clean up. I felt like dumping our cat boxes in his yard.

[femmocrat]

16. Moved away.

After putting us through 17 years of hell.

[malaise]

19. Couldn't deal with that for so long

Coming home should be a pleasure

[femmocrat]

20. It was wonderful seeing them go. He was insane and a mean drunk.

Unfortunately, he sold the place to someone almost as bad, but at least they leave us alone. And my trees have grown huge over the past 20 or so years so I don't have to see much of them.

[handmade34]

17. you are fortunate!

last year's GSS results

Americans now are less likely than four decades ago to socialize regularly with their neighbors. In the 1970s, nearly 30 percent of Americans reported spending time with their neighbors at least twice weekly; fewer than a quarter reported no interactions with neighbors. Over the past three decades, the number of interactions has trended downward. Today, nearly a third report no interactions with neighbors and only about 20 percent say they spend time regularly with neighbors.

we really should change this...

my job keeps me away from home 50 weeks out of the year... as soon as I can stay home I will joyously bake bread for all of my neighbors

[malaise]

18. You're right - there are fewer 'neighbors' as we know them

but then there is little community and we're seeing the erosion of society.
It's all a market these days. That's not right.

[lostnfound]

21. She barely knows me but loaned me her SUV to take kid to emergency room

Bike accident. No power .Couldn't get garage door to open. It was very cool.

[malaise]

28. That is a neighbor

[likesmountains 52]

23. Get home from a 12 hour shift and find my driveway shoveled of a foot of snow..

So great to be able to pull in! I will send a text to the person I think did it, and they might text back "It was Fran and Jack!" If I can find out who did it, I take them a local coffee shop gift card.

[Archae]

24. My neighbors love to do outdoor cooking...

And I get burgers, brats, lots of good food.

[flamingdem]

25. My neighbors are noisy and slam the door

They don't understand how they bother those around them by not caring about their noise, even after requests are made.

Reading this makes me realize how lucky some people are with their neighbors. It's a lost opportunity.

[LibDemAlways]

27. The woman who lives across the

street from me is a horrible excuse for a human being. She's mean and a snob. I broke my ankle when my daughter was 3, and my unneighborly neighbor would stand in front of her house and watch me struggle on crutches as I tried to juggle shopping bags and my toddler when I returned from the store. She wouldn't offer any help if her life depended on it. She crosses the street rather than pass me if we're both out for a walk. I'm sure she thinks I'm beneath her, though we've never even spoken.

The other neighbors here in Southern Calif. suburbia keep to themselves. There is no one I would feel comfortable turning to if I needed anything. I suspect I'd be turned away.

Those of you with friendly helpful neighbors, consider yourselves lucky.

[malaise]

29. Yep we know our luck

Snobs are awful people.

[steve2470]

30. my downstairs neighbor took me to a medical test

The doctor said I HAD to be driven home, hence the request. He's a great guy. My other neighbors, meh.

[ladyVet]

31. Well, let's see...

There was the one who threatened to shoot my dog for chasing his cows. Except it wasn't my dog, and he knew it.

Or the time he threatened my son for riding his four wheeler on his land, scaring his cows. Except he knew it wasn't my son.

{I put a stop to his "visits" when I told him the only thing that was going to get shot was him, if he ever came on my property again.}

Or how about the one who claimed my son shot his cat with a BB gun, except it wasn't my son, who didn't have a BB gun (though the neighbor's good friends across the street had a kid with one).

Oh, maybe it was the so-called Christian homeschoolers, who would ask my son to come over and play, and then either not answer the door -- though we knew they were home, because they ran inside when they saw my son -- or better yet, the mom would answer the door and say they hadn't asked him to play because they would never ask a non-Christian child to play.

And there's the new ones next door, who had cops searching my property because one of them walked through the back yard trying to make it unnoticed while a drug raid was going on.

I'm trying to remember when I've ever had any good neighbors, and so far, I'm coming up blank. We've always tried to be friendly to a point (because I worked and didn't want to spend all my spare time dealing with other people's issues at home), helpful when needed, but funny how some people won't return the courtesy.

[malaise]

32. Wow!

I'm in shock here - that's awful.

[mnhtnbb]

33. When our house burned down

our next door neighbors helped to spread out photos-- that were found in photo albums that hadn't completely burned up--on our garage floor (detached, didn't burn)
to dry out from being soaked by the water from fire hoses. One of them also spent hours scrubbing/cleaning up my LeCreuset stock pot that we retrieved from the kitchen.
Then she drove me to/from Charlotte (a 2 1/2 hour drive) for my one month follow up appointment with the orthopedic surgeon who had done my hip replacement (3 weeks prior to the fire)

Other neighbors--just down the street--put us up in their house for 3 days and got on the phone to call people trying to find a rental house. (We live in a university town and all the decent rental housing had already been rented as it was the start of the fall semester). Someone they contacted
offered to let us stay in their house for 2 weeks because they were going out of town to visit relatives. We had never met these people! Someone else contacted
by the friends who housed us right after the fire knew of a house in the neighborhood where the recent rental had fallen through and put us in touch with the rental
agent so we found somewhere to live. We couldn't even get the largest rental agency in town to return our phone calls--over Labor Day weekend--and we really
struggled to find some place to live, especially since we had two cats AND a dog!

We have been very fortunate to have wonderful neighbors here. Our last neighbors--in Lincoln, NE, filed a lawsuit against us and took us to court to stop
my husband from building a small office on our property where he'd see patients (he's a psychiatrist/psychoanalyst). The city had given us a permit. Two blocks
away there were psychologists seeing patients in their home offices. The judge (friends with the neighbors) ruled against us, so we sold the house and moved
to Chapel Hill. And talk about it being a good move! Turned out we were all better off that those neighbors had been such a$$holes.

[malaise]

34. Nice post - photos are so important in our lives

Glad the last move worked out.

[mnhtnbb]

35. Indeed. Most of the photos that were salvaged were of my boys growing up.

Some family/friends returned photos to me that I'd sent to people over the years, but very few.
This was prior to digital photography.

We lost our wedding album and all the albums that I'd put together of various trips over the years
because they were in a different location--and completely burned up--than the albums that
survived.

[malaise]

36. I lost lots of photos during Hurricane Gilbert in 1988

Thankfully my siblings had copies of many of them. Losing your wedding album must have hurt.