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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #11: Daddy’s Sworn Oath Edition
Last edited Mon Jan 18, 2016, 04:40 PM - Edit history (3)
Top 10 Conservative Idiots #11: Daddy’s Sworn Oath Edition
Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Now with 40% more idiocy than the leading brand of Top 10 Conservative Idiots lists! And first of all some very sad news happened when I was putting together last week’s edition. RIP David Bowie, we’ll talk about that more toward the end of the edition. But ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, LGBT and gender non conformers, strap in. This might be our most cringe-worthy edition ever. If you read this whole thing and you don’t want to put your fist through your monitor, phone/tablet, or laptop, then congratulations! You are a much stronger person than I am! I am having way too much fun with the Bundy trolls in Oregon, by the way. And what better way to start off this week’s edition than by putting up something that I mentioned briefly in last week’s edition but should get posted here. Colin Meloy of the Decemberists was busy last week sending out Bundy Erotic Fan Fiction:
So according to Jon Ritzheimer, your daddy swore an oath to the Constitution. What oath and for what? He wasn’t exactly clear on that. Well how do we start this week’s list? For one thing - you know who’s definitely not defending the Constitution? Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore (1) – who declared both the U.S. Constitution and the SCOTUS ruling on gay marriage completely null and void! And that may or may not have anything to do with his son’s arrest for marijuana possession. Next up is Congress (2) – who is about to give Volkswagen a free pass for lying to the EPA and its’ customers about the actual real-world efficiency of its’ diesel engines. In the #3 slot, Oregon militia founder Jon Ritzheimer (3) is begging people not to send the group dildos. Hey it wasn’t me! Next we have some insane religious idiots (4) to tell you about, including Ted Cruz who picked up the coveted Duck Dynasty vote, while another Republican claims that they own Jesus (really? I didn’t know he was for sale!). For the fifth slot, we go across the pond for another look at some international conservative idiots (5). This time we head to Koln (Cologne), Germany where a horrific incident that took place on New Year’s Eve at the central train station continues to get worse, and Hitler’s Mein Kampf is going back into print. To lighten the mood, we’ll also take a look at some cats that look like Hitler. Donald Trump (6) isn’t going away any time soon. Turns out that he’s got an accounting problem, and a dangerous one at that. Fox & Friends (7) accuses Obama of peeling an onion while he was making his passionate plea for gun control in America. Mike Huckabee (8) shows that he’s the classy and sensitive candidate by offering customized shooting targets for various left-wing agendas at his website. At number 9, Ben Carson humiliated an elementary school student, but let’s play a game of “guess the dummy!”. Finally, at number 10, Donald Trump’s BFF Alex Jones (10) brings the crazy extra hard when talking about his critics. And we’ll close out this list by paying tribute to the late, great David Bowie. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!
[font size="8"]Roy Moore[/font]
If you know your recent history and know it well, you know that Roy Moore is no stranger to these lists. Yes I’m talking about Alabama Chief Justice and religious douchebag bully Roy Moore, the guy who became famous back during the Bush era for refusing to remove the 10 Commandments monument outside of the Alabama court house, and it became a huge story and that case went pretty far if I remember correctly. It was even the butt of jokes on Reno 911. But getting back to current times – Roy Moore is back and he refuses to go away. After being removed from the bench once, it appears that SCOTUS rulings on gay marriage are not relevant to a guy like Roy Moore:
The chief justice of Alabama’s Supreme Court issued an administrative order on Wednesday barring state judges from issuing same-sex marriage licenses, in contravention of the broadly accepted meaning of a June 2015 U.S. Supreme Court ruling.
Chief Justice Roy Moore forbade probate judges in the state from issuing marriage licenses that violate the state’s laws prohibiting same-sex marriage, “until further decision by the Alabama Supreme Court.”
Moore argued that the U.S. Supreme Court had only explicitly struck down same-sex marriage bans in Michigan, Kentucky, Ohio and Tennessee in its landmark decision Obergefell v. Hodges, though the ruling may be interpreted to apply to other states’ bans based on precedent.
Some judges in Alabama had chosen to interpret the ruling as requiring them to issue same-sex marriage licenses, according to Moore, while others had not. Citing numerous developments since Obergefell -- including the jailing of Kim Davis, a Kentucky county clerk who made headlines last year for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples -- Moore called the present environment one of “confusion and uncertainty,” and said he hopes to address it with his administrative order.
“This disparity affects the administration of justice in this State,” he wrote.
Moore said he was choosing to act now in part because the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 8th Circuit had recently found that the Supreme Court’s Obergefell ruling did not “directly invalidate” same-sex marriage bans in that circuit, and so there were grounds at least to hear the case. The 8th Circuit, Moore said, had nonetheless upheld the ruling on the basis of precedent.
How the Alabama Supreme Court interprets the Obergefell decision is within their legal discretion to decide, according to Moore, and has “yet to be determined.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/alabama-chief-justice-same-sex-marriage_568d644ae4b0cad15e630ca1?7o9ftj4i=
Chief Justice Roy Moore forbade probate judges in the state from issuing marriage licenses that violate the state’s laws prohibiting same-sex marriage, “until further decision by the Alabama Supreme Court.”
Moore argued that the U.S. Supreme Court had only explicitly struck down same-sex marriage bans in Michigan, Kentucky, Ohio and Tennessee in its landmark decision Obergefell v. Hodges, though the ruling may be interpreted to apply to other states’ bans based on precedent.
Some judges in Alabama had chosen to interpret the ruling as requiring them to issue same-sex marriage licenses, according to Moore, while others had not. Citing numerous developments since Obergefell -- including the jailing of Kim Davis, a Kentucky county clerk who made headlines last year for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples -- Moore called the present environment one of “confusion and uncertainty,” and said he hopes to address it with his administrative order.
“This disparity affects the administration of justice in this State,” he wrote.
Moore said he was choosing to act now in part because the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 8th Circuit had recently found that the Supreme Court’s Obergefell ruling did not “directly invalidate” same-sex marriage bans in that circuit, and so there were grounds at least to hear the case. The 8th Circuit, Moore said, had nonetheless upheld the ruling on the basis of precedent.
How the Alabama Supreme Court interprets the Obergefell decision is within their legal discretion to decide, according to Moore, and has “yet to be determined.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/alabama-chief-justice-same-sex-marriage_568d644ae4b0cad15e630ca1?7o9ftj4i=
I feel like there’s got to be an ulterior motive for Mr. Moore to just completely throw out a SCOTUS ruling that affects the entire law of the land. Like something that he doesn’t want us to know about. Something that maybe he’s using this as a distraction to get the press off his back. Something like… I don’t know? THIS????
TROY, Ala. - Just as news emerged that his son pleaded not guilty to drug charges, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore demanded the state's probate judges don't allow gay people to marry -- yet again.
Moore made headlines last year in his efforts to block same-sex marriage in Alabama after the landmark Supreme Court ruling made it the law of the land. It appears he has not abandoned the cause.
CBS affiliate WIAT in Birmingham reports Moore issued an administrative order statewide Wednesday on marriage licenses that stated: "Until further decision by the Alabama Supreme Court, the existing orders of the Alabama Supreme Court that Alabama probate judges have a ministerial duty not to issue any marriage license contrary to the Alabama Sanctity of Marriage Amendment or the Alabama Marriage Protection Act remain in full force and effect."
It is a very similar order issued last year by Moore after Alabama's anti-same-sex marriage laws were ruled in federal court to be unconstitutional, and it's not clear what practical effect the order has had previously.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/alabama-chief-justice-roy-moore-same-sex-marriage-son-drug-charges/
Moore made headlines last year in his efforts to block same-sex marriage in Alabama after the landmark Supreme Court ruling made it the law of the land. It appears he has not abandoned the cause.
CBS affiliate WIAT in Birmingham reports Moore issued an administrative order statewide Wednesday on marriage licenses that stated: "Until further decision by the Alabama Supreme Court, the existing orders of the Alabama Supreme Court that Alabama probate judges have a ministerial duty not to issue any marriage license contrary to the Alabama Sanctity of Marriage Amendment or the Alabama Marriage Protection Act remain in full force and effect."
It is a very similar order issued last year by Moore after Alabama's anti-same-sex marriage laws were ruled in federal court to be unconstitutional, and it's not clear what practical effect the order has had previously.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/alabama-chief-justice-roy-moore-same-sex-marriage-son-drug-charges/
Yes!!! In an effort to distract the media from his son’s legal troubles, Roy Moore goes after gay marriage once again. Nice straw man there. Go fuck yourself Roy Moore.
[font size="8"]Congress[/font]
If you recall around last September, a huge scandal broke when the Los Angeles Times revealed that Volkswagen cheated and lied to the EPA about the fuel standards its' diesel engines were being sold. Not only that, it was later revealed that Volkswagen had been manufacturing ways to cheat against the EPA's ultra strict fuel standards. Well if you're the average American with ADD, you most likely don't remember that because you were too busy tweeting about Justin Bieber's dick pic! Go on, try to deny that you didn't sneak a peek. You can't can you? I'll wait.
But getting back to the scandal - it now appears that Congress is going to give VW a free pass on the scandal. So VW admitted that it was the fault of a "couple of rogue engineers". Sure. Right. I'll buy that one. And let's not forget that VW also admitted that it might take the company years, even decades to fix the cars it purposefully broke. This is stupefyingly dumb and evil. But oh it's about to get worse.
WASHINGTON - Volkswagen CEO Matthias Mueller will meet with the top U.S. environmental regulator next week, the highest-level talks since the German automaker admitted to using software to evade emissions requirements in 580,000 U.S. vehicles.
Mueller will meet with U.S. Environmental Protection Agency chief Gina McCarthy on Wednesday in Washington, agency spokeswoman Laura Allen said. The meeting is at the request of the German automaker, she said.
The meeting comes a week after the U.S. Justice Department filed a civil suit against VW seeking up to $48 billion in damages under the Clean Air Act.
The EPA said this week that after months of talks "recall discussions with the company have not produced an acceptable way forward. EPA continues to insist that VW develops effective, appropriate remedies as expeditiously as possible."
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/autos/vw-ceo-meet-epa-chief-congressional-leaders-emissions-scandal-n492181
Mueller will meet with U.S. Environmental Protection Agency chief Gina McCarthy on Wednesday in Washington, agency spokeswoman Laura Allen said. The meeting is at the request of the German automaker, she said.
The meeting comes a week after the U.S. Justice Department filed a civil suit against VW seeking up to $48 billion in damages under the Clean Air Act.
The EPA said this week that after months of talks "recall discussions with the company have not produced an acceptable way forward. EPA continues to insist that VW develops effective, appropriate remedies as expeditiously as possible."
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/autos/vw-ceo-meet-epa-chief-congressional-leaders-emissions-scandal-n492181
Yes, you read that right. The US government is seeking payment from Volkswagen for violating the Clean Air Act in $50 BILLION range. Think about it for a minute - the winner of this week's Powerball could fund 1/10th of the damages that the US government is seeking from Volkswagen. And this is where Volkswagen might get a "Get out of jail free" card from the US Government:
The combination of regulatory oversight and class-action litigation can keep companies in line. But a bill in Congress consisting of a little more than 100 words would not only prevent Kaplan from seeking justice but also cripple virtually all class-action lawsuits against corporations. It’s known as the “Fairness in Class Action Litigation Act,” but lawyers and advocates call it the “VW Bailout Bill.”
The bill, which will get a vote on the House floor in the first week of January, follows a series of steps by the judiciary to block the courthouse door on behalf of corporations. “There's no question the Supreme Court has ben moving in that direction to limit access to courts,” said Joanne Doroshow, executive director of the Center for Justice and Democracy. “But Congress has never done something like this, trying to step in and wipe out class-actions.”
The simplicity of the VW Bailout Bill belies the chaos it would create. Proponents like the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the bill’s leading lobbyist, say they merely want to get rid of “non-injury” class-action cases, based on potential damages from defective consumer products or corporate actions that have yet to result in harm. Lawyers for class-action litigants argue that defective products deserve compensation even if the consumer hasn’t yet been injured.
http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Columns/2016/01/04/Bailout-Volkswagen-Congress-Wants-Do-Something-Absolutely-Crazy
The bill, which will get a vote on the House floor in the first week of January, follows a series of steps by the judiciary to block the courthouse door on behalf of corporations. “There's no question the Supreme Court has ben moving in that direction to limit access to courts,” said Joanne Doroshow, executive director of the Center for Justice and Democracy. “But Congress has never done something like this, trying to step in and wipe out class-actions.”
The simplicity of the VW Bailout Bill belies the chaos it would create. Proponents like the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the bill’s leading lobbyist, say they merely want to get rid of “non-injury” class-action cases, based on potential damages from defective consumer products or corporate actions that have yet to result in harm. Lawyers for class-action litigants argue that defective products deserve compensation even if the consumer hasn’t yet been injured.
http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Columns/2016/01/04/Bailout-Volkswagen-Congress-Wants-Do-Something-Absolutely-Crazy
Yup, Congress would bail them out by inserting the "VW Bailout Bill" into the "Fairness In Class Action Litigation Act", and neither of those two things have anything to do with each other, unless you consider the fact that the latter would prevent VW owners from filing a class action lawsuit. Ain't American business grand? USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
[font size="8"]Jon Ritzheimer[/font] i
So… the Oregon militia isn’t going away any time soon. And we covered that about as extensively as it got the last edition. I noted that Jon Ritzheimer was spending a large chunk of the group’s donation money on Jack Daniels and that’s true. But the group is getting another kind of donation and it’s one that they’re not enjoying. Here’s more:
No one ever said it’s easy to take a stand against the federal government: it’s cold, there aren’t enough snacks, everyone is pissy, and a bunch of strangers won’t stop sending you hate mail and dicks.
Oregon militia organizer Jon Ritzheimer really, really fuckin’ hates Uncle Sam. But what he hates even more is all of the obscene and generally unhelpful emails and packages that strangers from around the country and Gawker are sending to his band of armchair commandos.
http://gawker.com/angry-militia-leader-stop-mailing-us-dildos-1752580458
Oregon militia organizer Jon Ritzheimer really, really fuckin’ hates Uncle Sam. But what he hates even more is all of the obscene and generally unhelpful emails and packages that strangers from around the country and Gawker are sending to his band of armchair commandos.
http://gawker.com/angry-militia-leader-stop-mailing-us-dildos-1752580458
Armchair commandos!!! Excuse me a minute…
Gee, I wonder why Ritzheimer would be angry at the notion that he’s told to “eat a bag of dicks”? Well when you consider the laundry list of supplies that they’re requesting, you can’t help but wonder if they’re occupying a bird sanctuary or checking into the Ritz Carlton. But the leader of the Oregon militia is asking people to stop sending him and the group dildos. Come on, you can’t take a joke? Or are you guys literally just a giant bunch of dicks that the mere sight of a dildo offends you? And this is my favorite part of the whole story:
In a new Facebook post and accompanying video, Ritzheimer says he’s sick of this garbage:
It’s sad that there are people who would spend this kind of money on this rather than spending it to do good in the world. I’m done living in fear of an oppressing force. I’m going to uphold my oath to the Constitution and sleep great at night knowing that I did everything in my power to ensure what our founding fathers did for us will not be lost.
It’s sad that there are people who would spend this kind of money on this rather than spending it to do good in the world. I’m done living in fear of an oppressing force. I’m going to uphold my oath to the Constitution and sleep great at night knowing that I did everything in my power to ensure what our founding fathers did for us will not be lost.
First off, Jon, you are doing absolutely nothing to “uphold the constitution”. And who are you upholding it from? And what are you upholding? It certainly isn’t people who are coming to take your land or your guns. All this is, is a giant obstruction. But then the group sees redemption with getting large amounts of rubber penises – sell them on eBay!
He takes particular issue with an enormous dildo and a “bag of dicks” that appear to be made out of candy—a form of snack, so I’m not sure what his beef is here. Militia spokesperson Maureen “Mo” Peltier echoes Ritzheimer’s disgust:
People spending money to send items representing their hate. That could have been spent on good things. Or those in need. Or something.
Billy Gober posted a genius idea, sell it back on ebay. So, keep sending stupid shit, it’s gonna turn a dime for them. Lol Economics!
People spending money to send items representing their hate. That could have been spent on good things. Or those in need. Or something.
Billy Gober posted a genius idea, sell it back on ebay. So, keep sending stupid shit, it’s gonna turn a dime for them. Lol Economics!
Lol economics – but when you're selling a product that nobody wants to buy, then economics LOL at you. I can pretty much guarantee that nobody wants to buy certified pre-owned dildos (undergoes thorough 12 step recertification process, defects or fluids not covered by warranty), and you’ll be stuck with a huge pile of them and a huge seller listing bill from eBay.
And in even further hilarity - Max Temkin (the creator of Cards Against Humanity) sent the group a lovely 55 gallon drum of lube to go with those unwanted rubber penises (or is the plural penii?
). And I love the fact that he takes a huge issue with the candy dildos. Cue the crying baby sound effect.
Oh and then a guy who calls himself a “U.S. Superior Court Judge” from Denver has arrived in Oregon to give the group legal advice. If you guessed this guy is not a judge or has any sort of legal experience whatsoever, you are correct sir / madam! Points!
Militia and antigovernment extremists illegally occupying a federal wildlife refuge in Oregon are now pledging to form a “citizen’s grand jury” to indict and bring criminal charges against public officials and judges the occupiers accuse of committing crimes and violating the Constitution.
With such “indictments,” the extremists’ doctrine would justify their attempts to make arrests, get judgments or file liens against the targeted public officials
Bruce Doucette, a self-proclaimed “U.S. Superior Court judge” from Denver, arrived at the occupied Malheur Wildlife Refuge near Burns on Tuesday to “review evidence that public officials may have committed crimes,” the Oregonian reports.
Doucette, a 54-year-old computer repairman, told the newspaper that 25 local residents “would hear testimony and make decisions in private” before deciding whether to bring criminal charges. Those findings “would be put in writing and made public,” the newspaper reports. He didn’t say what would come next.
https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2016/01/13/antigovernment-extremists-oregon-now-plan-their-own-justice-system
With such “indictments,” the extremists’ doctrine would justify their attempts to make arrests, get judgments or file liens against the targeted public officials
Bruce Doucette, a self-proclaimed “U.S. Superior Court judge” from Denver, arrived at the occupied Malheur Wildlife Refuge near Burns on Tuesday to “review evidence that public officials may have committed crimes,” the Oregonian reports.
Doucette, a 54-year-old computer repairman, told the newspaper that 25 local residents “would hear testimony and make decisions in private” before deciding whether to bring criminal charges. Those findings “would be put in writing and made public,” the newspaper reports. He didn’t say what would come next.
https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2016/01/13/antigovernment-extremists-oregon-now-plan-their-own-justice-system
I’m convinced they’re just fucking with us at this point. They’re asking a guy who is a computer repairman with no legal experience to play a judge to review whether or not they would bring criminal charges against “public officials”, but really it’s just the pot calling the kettle black at this point. Just… this gets crazier and crazier by the minute. At this point it’s like watching the Dark Knight Rises after Bane takes over Gotham. You’ve got a city under siege, all roads leading into and out of are cut off, no supplies or aid can get in or out, they're building their own infrastructure, they've got a batshit crazy megalomaniac with no demands and thinks he owns everything, and now they’ve got their own Dr. Crane staging their own mock trials against officials who they deem corrupt. Exile or death?
[font size="8"]Religious Idiots[/font]
That's Ted Cruz appearing in a commercial and getting in an endorsement from everyone's favorite backwoods, gun-toting bearded religious sociopath Phil Robertson. I thought that Duck Dynasty shit went off the air years ago, and do people even still buy their garbage merchandise? So with the election season heating up, and Super Tuesday not too far away, Birther II: Electric Boogaloo featuring Ted Cruz is in full swing, and don't worry, we'll cover that in full next week. But that is quite possibly the most bizarre campaign ad that I've seen since Herman Cain's famous smoking guy ad. And that's saying a lot.
Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson is a racist homophobe who has advocated marrying 15-year-old girls. He is also, per the title of the YouTube embedded above, a “Cruz Commander,” which means that Robertson has officially endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz for President.
For a brief period, Robertson was the national face of self-righteous hatred (now often referred to as “religious freedom”). In 2013, after his comments to Drew Magary in GQ about the deviance of gays and their anus-loving ways scandalized liberals, A&E suspended Robertson from Duck Dynasty, only to reinstate him nine days later. By then, bigots like Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee had decried A&E’s decision to turn its back on someone who was merely, to hear them spin it, exercising his freedom of speech. Thus Duck Dynasty became the new Chick-Fil-A.
http://gawker.com/ted-cruz-lands-coveted-duck-dynasty-endorsement-1752803293
For a brief period, Robertson was the national face of self-righteous hatred (now often referred to as “religious freedom”). In 2013, after his comments to Drew Magary in GQ about the deviance of gays and their anus-loving ways scandalized liberals, A&E suspended Robertson from Duck Dynasty, only to reinstate him nine days later. By then, bigots like Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee had decried A&E’s decision to turn its back on someone who was merely, to hear them spin it, exercising his freedom of speech. Thus Duck Dynasty became the new Chick-Fil-A.
http://gawker.com/ted-cruz-lands-coveted-duck-dynasty-endorsement-1752803293
As I noted in the previous edition, if there’s one thing that America’s religious fundamentalists are gifted at, it’s knowing when to shoot their mouth off and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Really, it’s almost uncanny how good they are at this, and people like Phil Robertson definitely know how to show their sensitive side. It’s like they speak in code. Like they just have no idea that what they’re saying is completely insensitive or not. And then there’s this guy:
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/goper-dave-brat-attacks-obama-citing-bible-says-right-owns-tradition-
christian-love
... in which Brat expressed his anger that Obama cited Christian teachings when he criticized Republicans for their attempts to block the resettlement of Syrian refugees in the U.S.
The president, Brat said, “is using the Christian tradition and trying to bring about compassion by bonking Republicans over the head with the Bible. It’s almost a comedy routine on what compassion and love is. He’s mocking his enemies in order to compel a larger federal state using the tradition of love.”
He said that the conservative movement “needs to reeducate its people that we own the entire tradition” of Christian love, because liberal professors “have rejected natural law” and religious ideas.
christian-love
... in which Brat expressed his anger that Obama cited Christian teachings when he criticized Republicans for their attempts to block the resettlement of Syrian refugees in the U.S.
The president, Brat said, “is using the Christian tradition and trying to bring about compassion by bonking Republicans over the head with the Bible. It’s almost a comedy routine on what compassion and love is. He’s mocking his enemies in order to compel a larger federal state using the tradition of love.”
He said that the conservative movement “needs to reeducate its people that we own the entire tradition” of Christian love, because liberal professors “have rejected natural law” and religious ideas.
Really? I didn’t know religion was for sale! How can one side say that they own religion when really they don’t? This is just the epitome of what Bill Maher was talking about a few months ago when he said that he can’t figure out who is attacking religion exactly. Maybe it’s people like this guy who are the ones actually attacking religion. Can I get that monologue please?
[font size="8"]German Idiots[/font]
So how was your New Year’s Eve? Did you have a good time? What did you do? Did you take in a concert or perhaps a sporting event like football or basketball? Did you go to the local bar scene or a party? Maybe you just simply stayed at home. Regardless I hope you spent the new year ringing it in and enjoying yourself no matter which way you chose to enjoy it. But I’ll tell you didn’t ring in a good 2016 and that’s Köln, Germany. New Year’s was almost two weeks ago, but the city is still reeling from a series of absolutely horrific sexual assaults that took place on New Year’s Eve, that were aimed specifically at the city’s college girl population. And the police there providing zero answers. Actually the police there are probably a negative number of answers. The city is fuming, and there’s no investigations. The only thing they’ve been able to determine is that the attack appears to be planned.
Cologne mass sex assaults appear planned, co-ordinated, German justice minister says
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/cologne-assaults-1.3397483
German authorities need to quickly determine whether a string of New Year's Eve sexual assaults and robberies in Cologne blamed largely on foreigners may be linked to similar offences in other cities, the justice minister said in comments published Sunday.
Authorities and witnesses say the attackers were among about 1,000 people, mostly men, gathered at Cologne's central train station, some of whom broke off into small groups that groped and robbed women.
......
"If such a horde gathers in order to commit crimes, that appears in some form to be planned," Justice Minister Heiko Maas told the newspaper Bild. "Nobody can tell me that this was not co-ordinated or prepared."
The attacks are still being investigated, but police have said their focus is on suspects of primarily North African origin, which has put pressure on Chancellor Angela Merkel's government and its open-door policy to asylum seekers. Nearly 1.1 million refugees and migrants arrived in Germany in 2015 alone.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/cologne-assaults-1.3397483
German authorities need to quickly determine whether a string of New Year's Eve sexual assaults and robberies in Cologne blamed largely on foreigners may be linked to similar offences in other cities, the justice minister said in comments published Sunday.
Authorities and witnesses say the attackers were among about 1,000 people, mostly men, gathered at Cologne's central train station, some of whom broke off into small groups that groped and robbed women.
......
"If such a horde gathers in order to commit crimes, that appears in some form to be planned," Justice Minister Heiko Maas told the newspaper Bild. "Nobody can tell me that this was not co-ordinated or prepared."
The attacks are still being investigated, but police have said their focus is on suspects of primarily North African origin, which has put pressure on Chancellor Angela Merkel's government and its open-door policy to asylum seekers. Nearly 1.1 million refugees and migrants arrived in Germany in 2015 alone.
But who planned it and what were the planners trying to accomplish? This raises many questions. It appears to have been started by an Arab extremist group called “Taharrush”. So naturally where does the blame shift? To Syrian refugees. But this explains exactly who the target is that the Cologne police can't seem to identify:
http://www.indiatimes.com/news/world/taharrush-the-sickening-and-terrifying-arab-rape-game-that-is-spreading-across-europe-249466.html
When the first incidents of women being assaulted by crowds of Arab men came out of Cologne, Germany, during New Years Eve, the news was being suppressed. Realisation it seems has now dawned and the German Federal Criminal Police Office, BKA, says that the alleged Arab rape game Taharrush is now in Europe. Yes, a disgusting game, brought to Europe by the hordes of ‘refugees’ seeking asylum.
Additional reports from Germany say that similar incidents have occurred in Berlin, Hamburg, Bielefeld, Frankfurt, Dusseldorf and Stuttgart. But it’s not only Germany that is suffering; other European nations such as Austria and Switzerland have also reported similar cases. According to Holger Munch of the BKA, attacks can range from stealing belongings, to groping and even rape. The women who have come out and reported these incidents tell of the horror they have gone through.
When the first incidents of women being assaulted by crowds of Arab men came out of Cologne, Germany, during New Years Eve, the news was being suppressed. Realisation it seems has now dawned and the German Federal Criminal Police Office, BKA, says that the alleged Arab rape game Taharrush is now in Europe. Yes, a disgusting game, brought to Europe by the hordes of ‘refugees’ seeking asylum.
Additional reports from Germany say that similar incidents have occurred in Berlin, Hamburg, Bielefeld, Frankfurt, Dusseldorf and Stuttgart. But it’s not only Germany that is suffering; other European nations such as Austria and Switzerland have also reported similar cases. According to Holger Munch of the BKA, attacks can range from stealing belongings, to groping and even rape. The women who have come out and reported these incidents tell of the horror they have gone through.
Holy. Shit. But that doesn't make sense out of what happened on New Year's Eve, and it might take months or years to properly sort out this mess. But the German right wing is only making things worse.
Police in Germany will have to rethink their tactics following attacks on women in the city of Cologne on New Year's Eve, a senior official has said.
Ralf Jaeger, interior minister for North Rhine-Westphalia, said police had to "adjust" to the fact that groups of men had attacked women en masse.
Mr Jaeger also warned that anti-immigrant groups were trying to use the attacks to stir up hatred against refugees.
"What happens on the right-wing platforms and in chat rooms is at least as awful as the acts of those assaulting the women," he said. "This is poisoning the climate of our society."
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-35248601
Ralf Jaeger, interior minister for North Rhine-Westphalia, said police had to "adjust" to the fact that groups of men had attacked women en masse.
Mr Jaeger also warned that anti-immigrant groups were trying to use the attacks to stir up hatred against refugees.
"What happens on the right-wing platforms and in chat rooms is at least as awful as the acts of those assaulting the women," he said. "This is poisoning the climate of our society."
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-35248601
Yup, the right wing is only making things worse. Add to the fact that Mein Kampf is heading back into circulation after a long absence, and you’ve got a toxic storm brewing. I know… kittens! Everybody likes cute kittens don’t they? Let’s talk about cute cats for the rest of this entry. Specifically – cats that comedically look like Adolf Hitler.
Faulty gene causes irregular distribution of pigment cells in fur, scientists establish; may help explain process of congenital defects in humans
The Internet is full of pictures of Kitlers – cats unfortunate enough to have a black and white pattern on their furs vaguely resembling the facial hair of the leader of Nazi Germany.
A new study suggests that the feline führers’ coat is determined by a faulty gene determining their pattern still in the womb of mother cat.
Called piebald, the pattern – typically a distribution of two colors on an animal’s coat of fur – occurs when pigment cells fail to follow genetic “instructions” at a very early stage of development.
According to a report on the study in the UK paper Independent, scientists hope that the study on how piebald animals develop can shed light on some congenital medical conditions affecting humans, like holes in the heart, also caused by problems relating to cell movements in the womb.
http://www.timesofisrael.com/researchers-may-now-know-why-some-cats-look-like-hitler/
The Internet is full of pictures of Kitlers – cats unfortunate enough to have a black and white pattern on their furs vaguely resembling the facial hair of the leader of Nazi Germany.
A new study suggests that the feline führers’ coat is determined by a faulty gene determining their pattern still in the womb of mother cat.
Called piebald, the pattern – typically a distribution of two colors on an animal’s coat of fur – occurs when pigment cells fail to follow genetic “instructions” at a very early stage of development.
According to a report on the study in the UK paper Independent, scientists hope that the study on how piebald animals develop can shed light on some congenital medical conditions affecting humans, like holes in the heart, also caused by problems relating to cell movements in the womb.
http://www.timesofisrael.com/researchers-may-now-know-why-some-cats-look-like-hitler/
Heil Kitler!!!
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
So in Idiots #7, I noted that Donald Trump wants to be BFFs with Vladimir Putin. And that attracted a strange bedfellow of admirers including Neo Nazis and Infowars. Well now Der Trumpenfuror wants to be BFFs with another guy and that's North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. That's right, you read that correctly:
Republican primary front-runner Donald Trump says North Korean communist dictator Kim Jong-un deserves “credit” for the cutthroat efficiency with which he disposes of his political foes.
“If you look at North Korea, this guy, he’s like a maniac, OK?” Trump said at a rally in Ottumwa, Iowa, on Saturday.
“And you’ve got to give him credit: How many young guys — he was like 26 or 25 when his father died — take over these tough generals and all of a sudden, you know, it’s pretty amazing when you think of it. How does he do that?” he added.
“Even though it is a culture, and it’s a culture thing, he goes in, he takes over, he’s the boss. It’s incredible.”
http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/gop-primaries/265353-trump-kim-jong-un-deserves-credit-for-taking-out-rivals
“If you look at North Korea, this guy, he’s like a maniac, OK?” Trump said at a rally in Ottumwa, Iowa, on Saturday.
“And you’ve got to give him credit: How many young guys — he was like 26 or 25 when his father died — take over these tough generals and all of a sudden, you know, it’s pretty amazing when you think of it. How does he do that?” he added.
“Even though it is a culture, and it’s a culture thing, he goes in, he takes over, he’s the boss. It’s incredible.”
http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/gop-primaries/265353-trump-kim-jong-un-deserves-credit-for-taking-out-rivals
Yes, Kim Jong Un is Donald Trump's new BFF, and Donald Trump hopes to take out his rivals when the time comes for the RNC, just like his new BFF! In other stranger Trump news, the Furor denounced American football players as "being too soft":
During a Sunday campaign rally in Nevada, Donald Trump lamented to the crowd that football has "become soft," comparing changes in the sport to the United States.
The Republican presidential candidate complained about the number of flags thrown by referees after certain tackles.
"Football has become soft. Football has become soft. Now, I’ll be criticized for that. They’ll say, ‘Oh, isn’t that terrible.’ But football has become soft like our country has become soft," Trump said.
“It’s become weak and you know what? It’s going to affect the NFL. I don’t even watch it as much anymore," he continued.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-football-soft-our-country
I'd like to see Donald Trump locked in a room with Cam Newton or Adrian Peterson and see what happens.
And it turns out that Trump's got an accounting problem and one that could be very dangerous for the RNC:
Outside the venue, city officials are concerned after learning the Trump campaign issued far more free tickets than there are available seats. As of midday Wednesday, police said the campaign had distributed about 20,000.
“I wonder if the Trump campaign took into account the safety of the police officers who have to contend with large, dissatisfied crowds,” Burlington Police Chief Brandon del Pozo said. “This situation would place police officers in needless confrontations with citizenry.”
Del Pozo said the fact that the event provides residents the opportunity to listen to a major political candidate is the only reason police are allowing Trump to speak as scheduled.
“If Phish was holding a free concert at the Flynn and gave away 20,000 free tickets, we would cancel the event out of public safety concerns,” the chief said. “We are committed to accommodating the campaign because political speech is the very essence of the First Amendment.”
<snip>
http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/news/local/2016/01/06/police-raise-concerns-over-trump-event/78302990/
“I wonder if the Trump campaign took into account the safety of the police officers who have to contend with large, dissatisfied crowds,” Burlington Police Chief Brandon del Pozo said. “This situation would place police officers in needless confrontations with citizenry.”
Del Pozo said the fact that the event provides residents the opportunity to listen to a major political candidate is the only reason police are allowing Trump to speak as scheduled.
“If Phish was holding a free concert at the Flynn and gave away 20,000 free tickets, we would cancel the event out of public safety concerns,” the chief said. “We are committed to accommodating the campaign because political speech is the very essence of the First Amendment.”
<snip>
http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/news/local/2016/01/06/police-raise-concerns-over-trump-event/78302990/
Trump Math: 20,000 tickets for a venue that supports 1,400. And this is the guy we want handling the federal deficit? "Math is for losers and counting is for even bigger losers. We need people who will win like me! Let's make America great again!"
And in even stranger Trump news - Der Trumpenfuror is getting some help from who else? A white nationalist super PAC robodialing for Trump votes in Iowa!
A white nationalist super PAC robocalled registered voters in Iowa urging them to turn out for Donald Trump in the 2016 election.
Talking Points Memo said the voice on the call that rang Iowan households Saturday belongs to Jared Taylor, founder of the white supremacist magazine American Renaissance.
"I urge you to vote for Donald Trump because he is the one candidate who points out that we should accept immigrants who are good for America," Taylor said. "We don't need Muslims. We need smart, well-educated white people who will assimilate to our culture. Vote Trump."
http://www.sfgate.com/politics/article/White-nationalists-robocalling-for-Trump-6751047.php
Talking Points Memo said the voice on the call that rang Iowan households Saturday belongs to Jared Taylor, founder of the white supremacist magazine American Renaissance.
"I urge you to vote for Donald Trump because he is the one candidate who points out that we should accept immigrants who are good for America," Taylor said. "We don't need Muslims. We need smart, well-educated white people who will assimilate to our culture. Vote Trump."
http://www.sfgate.com/politics/article/White-nationalists-robocalling-for-Trump-6751047.php
Can we get some Nazi Punks Fuck Off please?
[font size="8"]Fox & Friends[/font]
Sandy Hook. No, there's absolutely no punchline or anything I can say to make this terrible tragedy funny. Sorry Infowars, but the murder of 20 school kids and 6 staff members is nothing to joke about. But there is Fox & Friends. That show you watch when your favorite hockey team loses 4 - 3 in a shootout and you need something to make you feel better about yourself because the post game commentary isn't fucking helping. Well you may remember shortly after the new year began that Obama made a passionate plea for Congress to do something about gun control, or he would, and even invited victims of the Sandy Hook tragedy to witness his speech. That speech brought tears. Well, the idiots on Fox & Friends won't have any of it. In fact - they not only think Obama was faking it, that he was manipulating it. Here's more:
Anyone who watched Barack Obama break into tears as he spoke of the 20 children and six adults murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary can tell that the President is a man who truly feels for the victims of gun violence — anyone, that is, who doesn’t work for Fox News.
After the President’s announcement that he would be doing what Congress is unwilling to do — expanding background check and gun safety regulations, including closing the “gun show loophole” (all sensible measures) — the hosts of Outnumbered pounced on the President’s plan, arguing that he was violating the separation of powers doctrine. What really bothered them, however, was the idea that a human being is capable of showing emotion that is not fake. And so begins Onionghazi, brought to you by our friends at Fox News.
“What was really upsetting was the tears that he wiped away again and again,” Melissa Francis said. “You want that for — I mean, we feel frightened about what’s going on with ISIS. And he can’t pull that kind of passion for anything about this.” She added that she feels “bad about those kids” in Newtown, but claimed it’s “only about this that he gets so upset about.”
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/01/05/fox-host-claims-obama-used-a-raw-onion-to-fake-cry-over-murdered-school-children-video/
After the President’s announcement that he would be doing what Congress is unwilling to do — expanding background check and gun safety regulations, including closing the “gun show loophole” (all sensible measures) — the hosts of Outnumbered pounced on the President’s plan, arguing that he was violating the separation of powers doctrine. What really bothered them, however, was the idea that a human being is capable of showing emotion that is not fake. And so begins Onionghazi, brought to you by our friends at Fox News.
“What was really upsetting was the tears that he wiped away again and again,” Melissa Francis said. “You want that for — I mean, we feel frightened about what’s going on with ISIS. And he can’t pull that kind of passion for anything about this.” She added that she feels “bad about those kids” in Newtown, but claimed it’s “only about this that he gets so upset about.”
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/01/05/fox-host-claims-obama-used-a-raw-onion-to-fake-cry-over-murdered-school-children-video/
Yeah Obama faked the emotion that surrounded having the parents of murdered children in his presence. I mean come on, he's only trying to display these new things called "compassion", "humanity", and "dignity" that certain former presidents *COUGH* Bush *COUGH* lacked. Excuse me a minute...
[font size="8"]Mike Huckabee[/font]
In case you haven't forgot, at the end of 2015, we had three horrific mass shootings - one at the Bataclan in Paris, one at a Planned Parenthood facility in Colorado, and one at a mental health facility in San Bernardino, California. Now... when you're running for president, how do you make a joke while pandering to your base? Well if there's two things that Mike Huckabee knows and knows well - (1) comedic timing, and (2) guns. And Mike Huckabee definitely doesn't know how to present his sensitive side, and I don't think he cares to judging from this latest offering. He and Ted Cruz are competing to be the more godly candidate for the election, and we all know how badly Cruz wants the Jesus vote, Huckabee would make an excellent running mate for the American Taliban card. So how does Mike Huckabee present his sensitive side? Here's exhibit A:
"Basically President Obama told law-abiding gun owners, 'if you like your gun, you can keep your gun.' We've heard that lie before when he promised 'if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.' I will fight until my dying breath to protect the 2nd Amendment.
While the President may want to take your guns, my idea of 'gun control' is hitting your target. So before you pull the trigger, aim your sights on the ObamaCare nightmare, the Common Core disaster, or our 75,000 page tax code monstrosity.
"Americans should go out and by a new gun – and to improve their accuracy they can take aim at Washington stupidity, blow holes in ridiculous government programs and shred our unfair tax code with a customized shooting target."
Read more: http://blog.4president.org/2016/2016/01/mike-huckabee-campaign-announces-customized-shooting-targets-for-sale.html
Yeah so that is a brilliant idea. At a time when mass shootings and public paranoia are at all time highs, Mike Huckabee is actively encouraging Americans to go out and buy more guns. Because... protection. He'll even provide you with some hilarious (sarcasm) targets so you can take your frustrations out on left wing agendas. Like this one:
[font size="8"]Ben Carson[/font]
So Ben Carson… we can all agree is pretty much the worst, right? While all the candidates in Iowa are heading there for the upcoming primary elections, Ben Carson made this campaign stop in Cedar Rapids. Once again, I’m reminded that Republicans have zero sense of humor. What started out as a joke, ended up completely humiliating one student, who everyone pointed to as being the dumbest person in the room. And yes, in case you were wondering, that’s Ben Carson asking students to point out the dumbest human being in the room. Ben Carson, the guy who said the ancient Egyptian pyramids were just grain silos and confused Middle Eastern terrorist group Hammas with Middle Eastern chick pea dip Hummus asking students to point out the dumbest person in the room.
Ben Carson gave a speech at the Isaac Newton Christian School in Cedar Rapids, Iowa this morning and ended up viciously embarrassing at least one poor student. Timothy Meinch of the Des Moines Register was live tweeting the speech:
. . . .
Intended to be a joke or not, this was joke ended up being wildly cruel to one poor student. Many parents were on hand for the speech and you have to think Carson didn’t win any votes with his thoughtless question and subsequent remarks. Perhaps moderators can pose the question to Republican candidates at the next debate—who’s the dumbest candidate on the stage?
http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/1/7/1466967/-Ben-Carson-embarrasses-elementary-student-with-wildly-cruel-question-at-school-assembly?detail=emailclassic
. . . .
Intended to be a joke or not, this was joke ended up being wildly cruel to one poor student. Many parents were on hand for the speech and you have to think Carson didn’t win any votes with his thoughtless question and subsequent remarks. Perhaps moderators can pose the question to Republican candidates at the next debate—who’s the dumbest candidate on the stage?
http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/1/7/1466967/-Ben-Carson-embarrasses-elementary-student-with-wildly-cruel-question-at-school-assembly?detail=emailclassic
That’s Ben Carson asking to point out the dumbest person in the room. Ben Carson asking to point out the dumbest person in the room. Ben Carson asking to point out the dumbest person in the room. No matter how many times I say it, it’s still weird. The fact that all fingers didn’t point immediately to him is very troubling, to say the least.
Hey everybody, I know! Let’s all point out the dumbest human being in this picture, shall we?
It can’t be done, can it? It simply can’t!
[font size="8"]Alex Jones [/font]
You know the 10th slot on this list can be used for just about anything. You know there’s lots of stuff we could be talking about like El Chapo contacting Sean Penn for an interview, or Justin Beiber desecrating sacred Mayan ruins (and believe me, I really, really wanted do this one, but I'll spare you a Bieber-free Idiots list for now!). But instead, I am devoted to bringing the crazy extra hard for number 10 in every issue. And who does it better than Donald Trump’s BFF and rejected Gary Shandling look alike Alex Jones? So it turns out that everybody’s favorite batshit crazy conspiracy theorist who frequently denies that he is one, has found out his critics’ dastardly plan! It appears that secret “life extension technology” does exist and that Mr. Jones has proof of its’ existence!
The jig is up! InfoWars broadcaster Alex Jones has finally uncovered the real reason groups like Right Wing Watch and Media Matters have been writing about his insane conspiracy theories, and as you have probably already guessed, it’s in order to acquire secret “life-extension technology” and room in the “off-world colonies” that the global elites are creating.
Jones, who has previously warned that liberals are “demonic villains” who are “going to kill everybody,” went on to refer to RWW and Media Matters employees as “pieces of crap” and “idiots.”
We just hope that Jones doesn’t tell Donald Trump, who has touted Jones’ “amazing” reputation, about our plans.
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-my-critics-just-want-spot-global-elites-world-colonies#sthash.oUNhZyQ5.0jgLQDqn.dpuf
Jones, who has previously warned that liberals are “demonic villains” who are “going to kill everybody,” went on to refer to RWW and Media Matters employees as “pieces of crap” and “idiots.”
We just hope that Jones doesn’t tell Donald Trump, who has touted Jones’ “amazing” reputation, about our plans.
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-my-critics-just-want-spot-global-elites-world-colonies#sthash.oUNhZyQ5.0jgLQDqn.dpuf
So my question is – where are these “off world colonies” and how can I join this dastardly plot? And life extension technology? Does that even exist? You know that Elysium was just a movie, right, Alex?
And then – I love this shit – he actually goes on to say that we’re aliens, and that “liberal elites are aliens who hate humans” and “want to become gods”. Oh really? Where does this god technology exist? On the realm of Asguard? If so where do we get transported to Asguard? Because that sounds wonderful! Although if you saw Thor: The Dark World, even Asguardians are mortal so there is that to deal with.
Why am I reminded of that scene from Wayne's World where Wayne is holding up cards that say "Get a load of this guy?". Hey Alex, I want the number of your weed dealer because whatever it is you’re smoking must be some strong shit.
[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]RIP David Bowie[/font]
You know this is a tremendously sad time in the music world. Over the holidays we lost two of the greats – Stone Temple Pilots’ Scott Weiland to a drug overdose, and Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmeister to cancer. And now since death seems to come in threes, it’s sad that the third person on this list is the great David Bowie. My first exposure to Bowie's music was the Trent Reznor collaboration "I'm Afraid Of Americans" which is still brilliant. Sadly as a concert goer one that I never got to see live but always wanted to was David Bowie. You know he’s created a ton of great music over the years and it’s sad that he will no longer be among the living. You could take any number of great songs or albums that he’s done – The Man Who Sold The World, Under Pressure, Starman, Space Oddity, Fame, Suffragette City, Heroes, Low, Aladdin Sane, Scary Monsters, Outside, I’m Afraid Of Americans… even his new album Blackstar is amazing. I seriously get chills listening to the song “Lazarus” now that David Bowie is no longer with us (if you listen to that song and you don't, you have no soul). I could go on and on. So here’s my tribute to David Bowie – and you might be expecting me to post some random clip of a song, but you know what? I’m not going to do that. And posting your bad cover song or poorly recorded cell phone video of “Space Oddity” – not a tribute! It will have been done ad nauseum by now. Instead – I’m going to post what I think is arguably one of the coolest advertisements I’ve seen in recent memory, and that’s a really awesome commercial that Google did a couple of years ago where they have the Muppets performing the Queen + David Bowie classic song “Under Pressure”. Enjoy!
See you next week!
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I hope no one is smashing their monitors because of this though you might want to!
Much appreciated - hilarious -bookmarked to finish later 
And there was a lot this week. And I probably could have put a couple of bonus idiots in there, but this thing was already stretching 15 pages in Word. 
