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Sun Feb 14, 2016, 03:38 AM

The GOP implosion is giving me a boner...

Last edited Sun Feb 14, 2016, 12:01 PM - Edit history (1)

I just watched the GOP "presidential" debate. That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Is this fun or what? The level of schadenfreude I feel watching the self-engineered implosion of the GOP is sooo high and soooo delicious I have an erection. My apologies to the permanently offended. But shit, this is great. From every angle you look at it from.

Looking at the beltway media is like walking through Willie Wonka's garden. The constant looks of incredulity and confusion at the rise of Trump and Sanders has been like picking candy off the bushes and drinking chocolate from the stream. Oh, and here's the mushroom filled with creme! Liberals have been predicting this since Reagan put this coalition of loons together in the first place. That's an awfully thick bubble they're living in if 30+ years of warnings are so unheard that Trump can take them by surprise. And Bernie? Almost the same fucking thing! How long did they actually think the American people wouldn't notice money in the political apparatus? How long did they think the economic gains could continue to be vacuumed up to the top before the pendulum swung back to the left? It's fucking comical watching them derisively spit Bernie's name from their mouths. The horror, the sheer fucking horror they experienced when the FDR socialist trounced Hillary in NH, right? I could actually taste the tears welling up in Chris Mathews' eyes. Once again, boner inducing.

And speaking of tears, there's the GOP establishment. Oh fuck, the taste of GOP tears. Like Jack Daniels Honey. So smooth. Sooo delicious. Watching the monster they created stomping around beating on Fox, Jeb!, the RNC, Cruz, Rubio, Carson. Holy shit, man. This is freaking awesome! The brain dead horde is now splitting off into groups that don't trust Fox, or don't trust Glen Beck, or don't trust their own fucking eyes. Like Spanish fly! And the bonus. The establishment candidates can't get a foothold regardless of how much money is spent.

Which leads us to the donor class. Sure to be a viagra like rush of blood to be found here! Sure enough! Millions spent on Walker, Christie, Cruz, Rubio, and Jeb!. For nothing! Nothing! Millions upon millions upon millions pissed away. They've influenced nothing! Trump is Bizarro Superman. Evil, dumb, and can't be controlled. He's the reason these guys are throwing good money after bad out the window. And even better, their heavy-handedness with the political influence they've bought has, in fact, made a 74 year old socialist jew an actual contender for President of the United States. Oh yeah, he's purple and angry now. That is like viagra!

And finally, the horse race. The cherry on the top. The show of shows. A collection of dimwitted idiots the Three Stooges could look down on. Sarah Palin lowered the bar so low, anything is acceptable. And it shows. Good Christ man. Seriously? Ben Carson actually killed off some of my brain cells. I'm not kidding. I'm now dumber from just hearing what he had to say. And the rest? "You're a poopyhead!" "Nuh-uh!" "Nuh-hu!" "No, you're a poopyhead!" "Nuh-uh!" Then bad idea, bad idea, not grounded in reality, Reagan, Reagan, Reagan. "You're a poopyhead!" John Kasich: "Oh for fuck's sake!" Bad idea, bad idea. The pure stupidity, racism, and theocratic bent is fully on display for the 70% of the country that hasn't drunk the cool-aid. I'm like a 15 year old in his first makeout session. The implosion of the GOP is giving me a boner.

P.s. I know what's at stake. I know the troubles facing this nation. I don't wanna hear it. I'm 44. It can rarely crack granite like it used to. Lemme enjoy it.


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Reply The GOP implosion is giving me a boner... (Original post)
Glamrock Feb 2016 OP
DJ13 Feb 2016 #1
Glamrock Feb 2016 #2
nolabels Feb 2016 #4
Skittles Feb 2016 #3
bbgrunt Feb 2016 #5
GoneFishin Feb 2016 #6
Mariana Feb 2016 #7
Feeling the Bern Feb 2016 #11
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #15
840high Feb 2016 #77
Hortensis Feb 2016 #17
MH1 Feb 2016 #73
Samantha Feb 2016 #80
Feeling the Bern Feb 2016 #81
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #12
Feeling the Bern Feb 2016 #18
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #19
sarge43 Feb 2016 #32
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #36
sarge43 Feb 2016 #41
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #42
sarge43 Feb 2016 #43
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #44
sarge43 Feb 2016 #46
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #47
Glamrock Feb 2016 #51
Sanity Claws Feb 2016 #35
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #37
opiate69 Feb 2016 #59
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #63
Quackers Feb 2016 #60
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #64
Skittles Feb 2016 #26
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #27
Skittles Feb 2016 #62
myrna minx Feb 2016 #38
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #39
Warren DeMontague Feb 2016 #13
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #21
Warren DeMontague Feb 2016 #23
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #25
nxylas Feb 2016 #29
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #31
Glamrock Feb 2016 #50
appalled_again Feb 2016 #8
olddots Feb 2016 #9
Mariana Feb 2016 #22
TrollBuster9090 Feb 2016 #10
Glamrock Feb 2016 #75
anniebelle Feb 2016 #14
Warren DeMontague Feb 2016 #16
Live and Learn Feb 2016 #20
ebayfool Feb 2016 #24
MerryBlooms Feb 2016 #28
Nyan Feb 2016 #30
prayin4rain Feb 2016 #33
prayin4rain Feb 2016 #58
LiberalElite Feb 2016 #34
lonestarnot Feb 2016 #40
CanonRay Feb 2016 #45
Jester Messiah Feb 2016 #48
tk2kewl Feb 2016 #49
OldHippieChick Feb 2016 #71
tk2kewl Feb 2016 #72
LiberalArkie Feb 2016 #52
steve2470 Feb 2016 #53
Nay Feb 2016 #54
First Speaker Feb 2016 #55
Glamrock Feb 2016 #56
Hotler Feb 2016 #57
cynannmarie Feb 2016 #61
Glamrock Feb 2016 #65
deathrind Feb 2016 #66
Docreed2003 Feb 2016 #74
hifiguy Feb 2016 #67
spanone Feb 2016 #68
Iggo Feb 2016 #69
klook Feb 2016 #70
valerief Feb 2016 #76
HooptieWagon Feb 2016 #78
dchill Feb 2016 #79
mgmaggiemg Feb 2016 #82
Warpy Feb 2016 #83
killbotfactory Mar 2016 #84

Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 03:55 AM

1. It IS the small things in life that makes it worth living

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Response to DJ13 (Reply #1)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 04:17 AM

2. Hey!

No one said it was small!

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Response to Glamrock (Reply #2)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:18 AM

4. Thanks for the chuckles, hope this gets to stay

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:14 AM

3. this was a GREAT read

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:25 AM

5. well, that was a pure delight! thank you.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:26 AM

6. Awesome read. So funny and so true. Thanks.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:33 AM

7. Jury results:

On Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:07 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

The GOP implosion is giving me a boner...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027609957

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

I object to "mushroom filled with creme" - that just sounds disgusting.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:15 AM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I object to bullshit alerts.
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Mushrooms filled with crème may well be disgusting, but I don't think they're against the TOS!

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

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Response to Mariana (Reply #7)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:58 AM

11. Someone alerted this!?! DU has lost its damn mind and the this proves the jury system is not only

 

becoming worthless, it's being abused by people with skin so thin, paper is thick by comparison.

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Response to Feeling the Bern (Reply #11)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:00 AM

15. Did you read the reason? Too funny. LOL nt

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #15)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 01:50 AM

77. I did. lol

 

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Response to Feeling the Bern (Reply #11)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:01 AM

17. Chill. The jury voted to leave.

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Response to Feeling the Bern (Reply #11)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:55 PM

73. Something tells me that was a pre-emptive alert. Someone

taking one for the team.

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Response to Feeling the Bern (Reply #11)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 02:22 AM

80. DU has not list its mind! This jury voted 7-0 in favor of leaving it! (eom)

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Response to Samantha (Reply #80)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 02:33 AM

81. The alert was the reason. The result is good, but people are abusing the jury system

 

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Response to Mariana (Reply #7)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:59 AM

12. Oh my, that was the funniest alert ever. Kudos to the alerter.

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #12)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:02 AM

18. Alerter needs a meal for french cries, a waahburger and a whinekin

 

Liberals who are offended so easily are the ones that give us a bad name. You know the ones that change the "e" to a "y" in women, who believe the drug war should end, but want to ban tobacco. . .

Phil Ochs was right. Love me, I'm a liberal.

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Response to Feeling the Bern (Reply #18)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:05 AM

19. But the only thing they objected to was the "mushroom filled with creme."

I find that hilarious.

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #19)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:58 AM

32. Yeah, that could become the next DU meme.

A post filled with the seven four letter words and that's what wadded up alerter's panties. Brilliant.

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Response to sarge43 (Reply #32)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:57 AM

36. Yep, I love it. "Just another mushroom filled with creme argument."

"Did a mushroom filled with creme just explode in this thread?"

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #36)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:08 AM

41. Limitless possibilities

and we were there at the creation

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Response to sarge43 (Reply #41)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:10 AM

42. Already looking for where I can use it.

We can even give it an acronym: MFWC

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #42)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:20 AM

43. "That's a MFWC rebutal."

It's like Einstein's "What would the world look like if I rode on a beam of light? WHOA, what I could do with that!"

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #44)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:45 AM

46. Looks like it could take.

Perfect for a Leave on jury duty. "That's a mushroom filled with crème" alert.

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Response to sarge43 (Reply #46)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:47 AM

47. Definitely. nt

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #44)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:36 AM

51. Bwaaaaaa

Cheers!

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #19)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:52 AM

35. It should be served with Chicken breaded with cornflakes

Maybe we can make it a menu item at the Olive Garden.

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Response to Sanity Claws (Reply #35)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:58 AM

37. That sounds yummy.

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #19)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:13 PM

59. I'm offended too! lol

 

?w=900

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Response to opiate69 (Reply #59)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 04:40 PM

63. ROFL

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #19)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 01:29 PM

60. Maybe they're allergic to Mushrooms?



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Response to Quackers (Reply #60)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 04:41 PM

64. or creme?

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #12)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:35 AM

26. LOVE IT

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Response to Skittles (Reply #26)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:37 AM

27. This could actually make juries and jury duty fun. lol nt

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #27)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 04:27 PM

62. ooh that's a tough one

I would partake but........there's too many delicate flowers around here who give me REAL ones

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #12)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:03 AM

38. That actually made me laugh out loud.

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Response to myrna minx (Reply #38)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:05 AM

39. You mean ALOL? lol nt

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Response to Mariana (Reply #7)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:00 AM

13. What, someone's never watched the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka?



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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #13)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:12 AM

21. Was that you? If so, I can only say:

Well played.

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #21)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:19 AM

23. The alert? No.

Can't take credit for that.

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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #23)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:34 AM

25. Damn, I would have bet on that. ROFL

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Response to Live and Learn (Reply #25)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:44 AM

29. I suspect the alert was a joke

But things are so crazy around here right now, it's hard to tell.

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Response to nxylas (Reply #29)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:52 AM

31. It really is. But it is hilarious either way. nt

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Response to Mariana (Reply #7)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:35 AM

50. Oh ffs!

And then almost as if on cue, the permanently offended strike again! Curses!

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:40 AM

8. What an awesome realistic post

I am ROFLMAO. Please continue....

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:45 AM

9. politics has become entertainment

 

kind of dumbth porn .

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Response to olddots (Reply #9)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:14 AM

22. Politics has been entertainment for a long time.

My grandmother told me her family would go see a politician whenever they had the chance because it was a free show. Of course, that was before there was teevee...

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:54 AM

10. Giving you a what?




"Millions spent on Walker, Christie, Cruz, Rubio, and Jeb!. For nothing! Nothing! Millions upon millions upon millions pissed away. "


But surely, during the 2012 election when the donor-class donated $300,000,000 to Karl Rove, and got NOTHING (not even elected one candidate that Turdblossom bankrolled)....that must have given you (to quote Amy Schumer) a "reasonable chubb?"

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Response to TrollBuster9090 (Reply #10)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 01:46 AM

75. Oh yeah

That was a diamond cutter....

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:00 AM

14. can we have an AMEN!

I was absolutely glowing last night for the first time in a long time. What with the news about Scalia and then watching these feces slinging clowns, it was like Christmas.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:01 AM

16. I have nothing to add.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:08 AM

20. DUZY nt

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:31 AM

24. Hmmm .... the taste of GOP tears? Delicious!

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:43 AM

28. Rec & Kick.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 06:45 AM

30. It was such a complete shit show

I almost felt bad for the moderator. You could almost hear him say "My god, what a mess this is..."

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:00 AM

33. Agreed. That debate was one of the funniest, laugh out loud, spectacles that I've ever seen

Pure comedy gold.

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Response to prayin4rain (Reply #33)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 12:07 PM

58. Ah, and thanks to whoever gave me the heart :) nt

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 07:09 AM

34. Your OP should be pinned! eom

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:05 AM

40. Simmer down now.

 

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:40 AM

45. Simply marvelous

words fail me.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 08:59 AM

48. Hopefully not an orange one!

 

Then again, that thing went limp decades ago...

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:21 AM

49. fantastic verbal ejaculation!

 

I laughed the entire way through the comments too!

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Response to tk2kewl (Reply #49)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:31 PM

71. Are you having a

MFWC moment?

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Response to OldHippieChick (Reply #71)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:39 PM

72. Yes! Yes! Yessss!

 

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 09:54 AM

52. This is absolutely the best I have read in a long time.

Thanks

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:21 AM

53. Awesome thread, thank you! Very funny! :) nt

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:29 AM

54. I don't have the plumbing to produce a boner, but that was a hugely

satisfying and wonderful read! It's exactly how I feel -- Trump is absolutely trashing the place by basically telling the truth. I keep thinking that Trump must be a Democratic plant. God, wouldn't that be something!

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:41 AM

55. And yet--the surviving member of the clown troupe has a 50% chance of being the next President...

...is that the most terrifying thing imaginable, or the funniest joke of all? Or maybe both?

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Response to First Speaker (Reply #55)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:44 AM

56. Boner killer!

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 10:46 AM

57. ......

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 02:26 PM

61. posts like this are why I'm at DU! n/t

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 04:45 PM

65. Y'all have been very very kind.

Muchos Grassy Ass!

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:18 PM

66. Good...

Read!

"Sarah Palin lowered the bar so low, anything is acceptable."

So true.

If you have never seen the movie "Idiocracy" I highly recommend it. It is art come to life. The Republican Party in all its glory.

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Response to deathrind (Reply #66)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 12:51 AM

74. I think we're living it!

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:22 PM

67. It calls to mind a heavily armed, meth-fueled riot

 

In the monkey house.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:23 PM

68. you mean a boehner?

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:25 PM

69. Purple and Angry.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Sun Feb 14, 2016, 05:25 PM

70. "Trump is Bizarro Superman."

Hilarious! Thanks for the chortles.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 01:48 AM

76. You're a poopyhead. Bwahahahahaha!

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 01:57 AM

78. Epic!

 

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 02:01 AM

79. Sometimes I wish I had your cojones...

Sometimes. Nice screed! (With which I agree.)

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 02:42 AM

82. i love the title of this post ;) lmao

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Mon Feb 15, 2016, 03:37 AM

83. The real cherry on the cake is the super PAC system

that billionaires lavished many millions on, thinking Citizens United would allow them to buy the election, hey, no sweat!

Now it turns out those super PACs are nothing but big scams, spending less than 5% on average on the election. That means for every million they put in, they get $50,000, enough to buy two or three 30 second commercial blocks in one market. And that's if they've spent any money making commercials! So where did the money go? Hey, executive salaries, posh office suites, and slick mailers looking for more suckers to pour money down the rathole.

The Republican Party started to devolve into a racketeering organization in the 70s with the Nixon Dirty Tricks squad. You want to talk schadenfreude, let's talk about how the rackets are now scamming them.

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Response to Glamrock (Original post)

Wed Mar 2, 2016, 11:06 PM

84. This election cycle is so wonderfully bonkers.

If only racist misogynist bigots turn out to vote, he'll probably win. But... I'm pretty confident that won't happen.

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