General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forumsthese new bathroom laws are shit. Sometimes people just can't help it
Last edited Sat Apr 9, 2016, 01:19 PM - Edit history (1)
I have severe Crohn's Disease.
Once years ago maybe 04-05 we were in Vegas. We were staying on the old strip but playing on the main strip.
We were in a big casino maybe MGM or something when the urge propelled me toward the closest RR. Well it was closed for cleaning. I spent a few seconds trying to reassure the guy cleaning it that he could keep cleaning but i had to go then. He said he would get fired. I didn't want that at all. I asked him where the closest woman's rr I could use. Well it was clear across the room. I knew I would never make it that far without pooping my pants and having it run all down my legs (Crohn's is never normal)
My hubby said come with me and we walked to the Men's room right next to the woman RR that was being cleaned. He walked in with me and stood right in front of the door and I did my business.
I'll use what ever damn restroom I need
Socal31
(2,484 posts)That stinks. I hope your solid story doesn't go to waste, and possibly even starts a movement.
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)and neither were solid
I see what you did there...salut,,,,BTW I also have severe Crohns
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)Once when I was in St. Paul for fireworks I had to go really bad. I went into a McDonald's well my whole family really. They got some food and I stood in a really really really long line it was from one side of the store to the other. I waited there about 8 minutes or so and then I gathered up a group of ladies and we took over the men's room for about 10 minutes taking turns guarding the bathroom. Not a single guy objected so it wasn't like we were staring them down or anything like that.
Lurker Deluxe
(1,038 posts)Why were you "guarding" the bathroom?
Are you saying you would be uncomfortable with a man in the same bathroom as you?
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)I said us women took over the men's room for a period of about 10 minutes on an event day that drew a large crowd. Try some reading comprehension.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)Who were the guards "guarding" against?
What would the guards' reaction have been if faced with a transgender individual?
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)Seriously when I go into a bathroom I don't want to see men's junk.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)Presumably there were stalls so no one would have to see anything.
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)oberliner
(58,724 posts)And take their turn in the stall so they could do their business.
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)unless they have had surgery? Just in case a woman catches a glimpse of their "junk"?
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)How about averting your eyes?
FrodosPet
(5,169 posts)Not all transgendered people have had sexual reassignment surgery.
In such cases, are you OK with someone who identifies as a female, but still has "men's junk", using female restrooms?
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)It's about a one off event where there were not enough stalls for women and the line was very very long. The men's room had virtually no line. We women took over for about 10 minutes. I don't care what women use the women's restroom, that is what stalls are for. I am assuming those women with junk are not going to pee against a urinal free wall.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)nadine_mn
(3,702 posts)Good lord - when I was younger (mostly college aged and most likely to travel in groups of women to the bathroom), I have said "guard the door" at parties, at bars, when the lock is shifty, I have had my mom or a friend hold the stall door closed for me. I wasn't protecting myself against other women, just some privacy.
I have had my husband stand guard at the bathroom door at a bar - (unisex or whatever) because sometimes people just barge in and if its a one holer...well its embarrassing.
When it's a sporting event, and the lines are long and women "take over" the men's rr, some men have just volunteered to stand guard because some men are weird about sharing bathrooms just like some women are.
standing guard is a turn of phrase...there is nothing to get upset about
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)nadine_mn
(3,702 posts)"Hey someone is using this bathroom, can you give her a minute". Not sure how being transgender would make a difference.
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)the "urge" is more like
oh, find a bathroom NOW with little warning at all
meow2u3
(24,767 posts)Stupid, backwards laws be damned. Nature is more powerful than silly legislation.
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)once I had to pull into a gas station that was very questionable. There were bars on all the windows and it just wasn't a place I would normally go to by myself ever but I had no choice. I walked through the groups of men and their very loud music found the RR. Locked the door and sat down just in time . Looked up at the door in front of me to a mirror and on it in HUGE letters it said AK-47 princess
but it was a toilet and I didn't embarrass myself!
you gotta do what you gotta do.
has no bearing on if I am a man or woman -I don't care who is in there as long as I don't embarrass me!
these now bathroom rules like NC and other places can fuck off
Kansas Gov wants to put a "bounty" on if the wrong person uses the wrong stall. Try me!!!
Rex
(65,616 posts)Shit, I've been places where the bathroom was a hole in the ground. I shit you not.
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)once about 5 years ago we were in Mexico. I needed to use the RR. Every store kept saying next door. Finally we found a bar and hubby had to buy a drink before they would let me use the RR.
All it was was a pot, no lid, no water or no paper. but it worked for me.
Rex
(65,616 posts)Or face drastic consequence. There is no debate or small talk, out of the way or get crapped on.
This whole bathroom thing is stupid!
Rex
(65,616 posts)these struggling Red states to stay afloat? No...much better to waste millions on penis/vagina laws...yep yep. Who needs clean drinking water anyways?
I am nervous Texas will now follow suit, since we cannot stand it when another state one-ups us on the crazy! We got to turn Texas blue again Texasgal!
tblue37
(65,477 posts)In Spain, 1971, when no other options were available for some hours, we were told, "Hombres a la derecha; mujeres a la izquierda."
mnhtnbb
(31,401 posts)when the line is a mile long for the ladies' and no one is in the men's room.
And the men who walk in usually turn around and walk out saying they can wait.
WTF is the big deal?
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)which is why these RR laws are ridiculous
arcane1
(38,613 posts)And they are incredibly efficient when it comes to not waiting in line.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)Why not just wait their turn and do what they need to do?
Orrex
(63,219 posts)When you're talking to someone, do you position your face four inches from theirs? If you were waiting in line at an ATM, would you stand shoulder to shoulder with the person who's currently using the machine? When you sit down at a restaurant, do you help yourself to an empty spot at someone else's table?
When you have to defecate while at a friend's house, do you shut the door?
Social norms are hardly absolute or inviolable, but they're part of any society, and part of being a functional adult in society entails a basic respect for others' expectations of courtesy.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)What am I missing here?
Orrex
(63,219 posts)Perhaps the man concluded that the woman using the men's room was doing so because of urgency, rather than because of a utopian "let's all shit together" ideal. As such, perhaps he exited as a courtesy, in deference to his expectations of the woman's desire for privacy.
It's not unreasonable to suppose that a man "on deck" in that example might rightly or wrongly be perceived as having puerile motives. Perhaps he exited to avoid putting himself in such a situation.
Regardless, it seems that he likely exited out of politeness and as a courtesy to the woman.
Why is that so difficult for you to grasp?
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)But no way am I going to abandon my place in the line and exit the bathroom out of "courtesy". And if I need to go, I am going to join the line in the men's room whether or not women are waiting in the line. I'm not going to complain about the women in the line, I'm just going to patiently wait my turn.
Does this make me a horrible person?
Orrex
(63,219 posts)I don't know if that makes you a horrible person, but if I had to spend time with two otherwise identical people, then I would opt to spend my time with a person who doesn't share your agenda in this regard.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)then yes, if I need to go, I am going to join the line in the men's room regardless of whether it is composed of men, women, transgender folk, or a mixture thereof. Interesting to see how many DUers seem to have significant hang-ups over this concept.
Orrex
(63,219 posts)Lurker Deluxe
(1,038 posts)That most likely the man will avoid this situation simply to lessen the possibility of conflict. And to follow that train of thought it could seem reasonable that some of the opposition to transgender usage of facilities could be to avoid this very situation.
A one room locked door restroom has no need to be gender specific, and any objection to that is just childish; however large restrooms with multiple stalls/sinks/urinals could very well lead to the uncomfortable situation described. Certainly adding alcohol to this mix as in a large sports bar/stadium would not make one more comfortable with this.
I think a lot of the opposition to the laws being proposed are from opposition being drummed up by some who are not sincere in their objection and just want to stir conflict. But it is not unreasonable to assume that some of the objection is to avoid the very situation described.
dem in texas
(2,674 posts)I have gone in the men's before and had my husband stand outside. It is a courtesy to all, it might embarrass a man if he goes in and sees a woman come out from one of the of the stalls. It is just common sense.
I have gone in the men's without anybody guarding the door, mainly when it is a one stall restroom with a lock on the door and there is someone in the women's restroom. It is a not a big deal.
Posters - Get a life! Find something else more important to fuss over!
nruthie
(466 posts)bhikkhu
(10,720 posts)regardless of labels. Its absurd that we would need a law to establish that, basically says what kind of assholes some people are lately.
I spent 50 years not caring where people went to the bathroom. When I was younger out clubbing, girls would frequently use the men's room if they needed to, as the lines were usually shorter; never a problem. When I lived in southern california for a while there was a trans community and people would usually use whichever restroom suited their attire; no complaints, no problems. When I used to take my young daughter out in the evening after she was potty trained, I'd take her into the men's room when she had to go and keep her company outside the stall, never a problem...