Just a few reasons you should vote for Don

[struggle4progress]

Are you concerned that the United States government spends more money than it has? Many Americans opt for the solution Mae West suggested: slip a salami into your pocket -- when you are (say) at the grocery store -- and this might be illegal if people think you are poor; but if you are rich, you can just buy the grocery store, take all the salami, and then declare bankruptcy. And Don has lots of practice doing this! Why pay people for stuff when you can get the stuff and then argue in court you just can't afford to pay? It's a great paradigm for business, and Donald can show government how to do it too!

Are you concerned that the United States is lagging behind the rest of the world in naked pictures of top politicians' sex partners? France had naked pictures of Sarkozy's wife. Italy had pictures of naked guests at Berlusconi's place. But what have WE in the US got to prove that we're modern? We've got a few pictures of Florence Harding's shoulders or of Mamie Eisenhower wearing a sleeveless gown -- and that's all! Today, fortunately, anybody with internet access can find NSFW pictures of Don's wife. Isn't it time for us to catch up with the rest of the world?

Are you concerned about the dismal state of American education? Almost 3 of every five Americans don't think dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time as early humans. Back when you and I were in school, the football coach could show reruns of the Flintstones in science class, but then the liberal Supreme Court destroyed education. But now we can elect a man with a proven education record: the founder of the famous Trump University. Unlike most other places that call themselves universities, Trump University was based on the important educational principle that people, who didn't get anything from school except a mountain of debt, become the most reliable minimum wage employees. Don will teach us how to privatize education and jump-start the economy!

Are you concerned that other countries no longer consider it worth their time to spy on the US? There was a time when the US was full of Russian spies, but after Hillary Clinton murdered Joseph McCarthy, the Russians began to lose interest in spying here. Luckily for us, Don is encouraging them to ramp it up a bit

[grubbs]

1. Nice!