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Top 10 Conservative Idiots Special: Best Of Edition
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Special: Best Of Edition
Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! You didn’t really think I was going to be leaving you hanging for two weeks did you? Season 1 of the Top 10 has concluded and man what a season it’s been thanks to Donald Trump giving us a near endless supply of material. See? Donald Trump is creating jobs, folks! We’re off for a couple of weeks until the dust settles from Election 2016: Really, how much fucking longer can this thing possibly be dragged out??? So by the time it’s over we’ll either be hailing newly elected President Clinton, or we’ll be burning this mother down over the election of President Trump. Well while we are off this week I figured I would go through the archives and pull out the best entries from each of the Top 10 entries we have done so far. So here’s how this is going to work – I will pull an entry from each of the Top 10s, and link to that original Top 10, so you can see the best of from the best Top 10s we have done so far. Keep in mind that some videos and images may be missing as a result of deletion. But first – an oldie but goodie – Stephen Colbert talks to God and wants to know why he let Donald Trump happen:
In the number one slot we’re going to take you back to where it all began with the very first entry – and that’s Carly Fiorina (1) laying some good old fashioned stochastic terrorism on Planned Parenthood. In the number 2 slot, we’re going to Idiots #34, where Donald Trump got in a Twitter beef with Hillary Clinton over a children’s Frozen book. In the number 3 slot, from Idiots #23, the Koch Brothers (3) attempted to name George Mason’s School Of Law after late SCOTUS justice Antonin Scalia and got a very unfortunate acronym for their investment. Taking the forth slot, from Idiots #33, we’re going to talk about how Donald Trump got pelted with Nazi Golf Balls. At number 5, from Idiots #25, Alex Jones (5) unleashes a fiery, almost cartoonish level of hate aimed at Beyonce over her appearance at the Super Bowl Halftime Show and thinks she’s part of a CIA mind control plot. Taking the 6th slot, we’re going back to Idiots #26 where Donald Trump (6) celebrated Cinco De Mayo by how else? Eating a taco bowl from Trump Tower! Taking the 7th seed, from Idiots #45 where we ask “Constitutional Literalism – How Is This Still A Thing?”. At number 8, from Idiots #14, Ohio governor John Kasich (8) said that if he’s elected he would reunite Pink Floyd. Yeah, good luck with that! In the number 9 slot (NEIN!!!), from Idiots #43 – we’re going to take a page from George Carlin and tell you about what’s on TV tonight. Finally to round out this “Best Of Edition”, from Idiots #18 – the Louisville Cardinals (10) are at the center of what has to be the most idiotic sports scandal of all time, and we give everyone in the audience their own rings. Doesn’t matter what you do with this ring, all that matters is that you “earned” it and nobody can take that away from you! And rounding out this best of, from our all Trump edition, Idiots #38 – a bonus idiot – and that’s Mitch McConnell in “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!
[font size="12"]Carly Fiorina[/font]
From Idiots #1
If you're puzzled by the attacks at the Planned Parenthood facility in Colorado as much as we are, Carly Fiorina definitely isn't the one to look to for answers or sympathy. My definition of today's modern GOP is that they have a glorious lack of empathy. And while evil, their intentions are not the best and clearly misguided. Enter Carly Fiornia, disgraced HP CEO and current disgraced GOP candidate. This is Carly before the shooting:
"“Whether you’re pro-choice or pro-life, the majority of Americans are horrified by the reality that we’re harvesting baby parts through late-term abortions,” Fiorina said.
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/426725/carly-fiorina-the-view-planned-parenthood"
After the shooting:
"“Secondly, this is so typical of the left to immediately begin demonizing the messenger, because they don’t agree with the message. The vast majority of Americans agree, what Planned Parenthood is doing is wrong. That’s why the vast majority of Americans are prepared not only to defund Planned Parenthood, but also to stop abortion for any reason at all after five months.”
http://reverbpress.com/politics/carly-fiorina-planned-parenthood-lies/
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/426725/carly-fiorina-the-view-planned-parenthood"
After the shooting:
"“Secondly, this is so typical of the left to immediately begin demonizing the messenger, because they don’t agree with the message. The vast majority of Americans agree, what Planned Parenthood is doing is wrong. That’s why the vast majority of Americans are prepared not only to defund Planned Parenthood, but also to stop abortion for any reason at all after five months.”
http://reverbpress.com/politics/carly-fiorina-planned-parenthood-lies/
Shoot the messenger? Extremely poor choice of words there, Carly.
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
From Idiots #34
Before we get into all things Donald J. Trump this week, there’s a couple of items I would like to address here. While we didn’t have space for Infowars this week, I do have to point out Alex Jones and his obsession with Donald Trump and goblins. Yes this guy is so batshit off the wall fucking crazy that he thinks goblins exist. Goblins!!! Goblins!!!!!! Why is my voice getting so high? And I’m pretty sure Alex Jones believes in goblins too. Hey o!!!!
During an otherwise routine critique of Donald Trump’s growing ties with establishment Republicans, libertarian radio host Alex Jones took a moment on Tuesday to read a passage from his darkest Lord of the Rings slash fic, voicing concerns about his new BFF “kissing goblins.”
“I never expected Trump charging into a goblin’s nest to not get some goblin vomit and schlop and blood on him,” said Jones. “I just don’t want to catch him in bed with a goblin. But if he’s in there rolling around hacking ‘em up and he’s got a goblin guide, y’know, taking him into the cave, I’m not expecting him to not get dirty, especially up to his ankles.”
http://gawker.com/alex-jones-is-very-worried-about-donald-trump-fucking-1782790861
“I never expected Trump charging into a goblin’s nest to not get some goblin vomit and schlop and blood on him,” said Jones. “I just don’t want to catch him in bed with a goblin. But if he’s in there rolling around hacking ‘em up and he’s got a goblin guide, y’know, taking him into the cave, I’m not expecting him to not get dirty, especially up to his ankles.”
http://gawker.com/alex-jones-is-very-worried-about-donald-trump-fucking-1782790861
And yes there is tape of this batshit crazy tirade. Can we roll it please?
Seriously – is Alex Jones just playing a really fucked up game of Dungeons & Dragons, or is he watching way too much Game Of Thrones?
And then one of my favorite comedians – Jim Jeffries – who I have seen perform standup multiple times in the last couple of years – absolutely nailed it when it comes to Trumpenfuror:
Jeffries continued, hammering Trump for making promises that could not conceivably happen — making Mexico pay for the aforementioned wall and banning members of certain religious groups from entering the United States, for example.
“He’s like a kid running for class president who’s just walking around going ‘And we’re going to have two lunches and there’s gonna be a soda machine in every classroom’,” Jeffries said — then he brought down the hammer.
“What he does is he preys on fear,” Jeffries explained, citing Trump’s categorical claim that all Mexicans are rapists. After any terrorist attack, Trump can be counted on to “go after the Muslims,” even promising to kill the families of terror suspects (a war crime) and force Muslims to register themselves like a scene out of X-Men (or, of course, Hitler’s Germany
http://winningdemocrats.com/australian-comic-who-smacked-the-nra-around-just-tore-trump-to-shreds-video/
“He’s like a kid running for class president who’s just walking around going ‘And we’re going to have two lunches and there’s gonna be a soda machine in every classroom’,” Jeffries said — then he brought down the hammer.
“What he does is he preys on fear,” Jeffries explained, citing Trump’s categorical claim that all Mexicans are rapists. After any terrorist attack, Trump can be counted on to “go after the Muslims,” even promising to kill the families of terror suspects (a war crime) and force Muslims to register themselves like a scene out of X-Men (or, of course, Hitler’s Germany
http://winningdemocrats.com/australian-comic-who-smacked-the-nra-around-just-tore-trump-to-shreds-video/
But for this entry we got to talk about Donald Trump and the famous Hillary Clinton Star Of David tweet he rolled out last week.
That’s right – Hillary Clinton is The. Most. Corrupt. Candidate. Ever. Ladies and gentlemen!!! Bravo, Mrs. Clinton well done! Take a bow!
Or……………. Is she?
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump on Saturday tweeted an image of rival Hillary Clinton alongside hundred-dollar bills and a Jewish star bearing the words "most corrupt candidate ever!", prompting outrage and bafflement on social media.
Two hours after his initial tweet, Trump tweeted a similar image in which the six-pointed Star of David - which appears on Israel's flag and which Jews were forced to wear on their clothing by the Nazis during the Holocaust - was replaced by a circle. The original tweet was deleted.
Critics said the image featuring the star harkened back to centuries-old anti-Semitic stereotypes, such as the belief that Jews are greedy.
"Just saw #DonaldTrump's Star of David tweet. I'm impressed by his ability to find a way to insult literally every kind of human being," screenwriter Cole Haddon wrote on Twitter.
Read more: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-idUSKCN0ZI0UY
Two hours after his initial tweet, Trump tweeted a similar image in which the six-pointed Star of David - which appears on Israel's flag and which Jews were forced to wear on their clothing by the Nazis during the Holocaust - was replaced by a circle. The original tweet was deleted.
Critics said the image featuring the star harkened back to centuries-old anti-Semitic stereotypes, such as the belief that Jews are greedy.
"Just saw #DonaldTrump's Star of David tweet. I'm impressed by his ability to find a way to insult literally every kind of human being," screenwriter Cole Haddon wrote on Twitter.
Read more: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-idUSKCN0ZI0UY
But is Hillary Clinton really that corrupt? Take a look at what The Donald did last week:
Why Donald Trump buying $12K of Tebow gear could potentially be an IRS violation
Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee, has many tremendous friends. Tom Brady of the Patriots is a tremendous friend. And maybe Tim Tebow is a tremendous friend too, because The Donald spent, according to the Washington Post, $12,000 of his foundation's money on a Tebow Broncos helmet and jersey several years ago.
http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/why-donald-trump-buying-12k-of-tebow-gear-could-potentially-be-an-irs-violation/
Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee, has many tremendous friends. Tom Brady of the Patriots is a tremendous friend. And maybe Tim Tebow is a tremendous friend too, because The Donald spent, according to the Washington Post, $12,000 of his foundation's money on a Tebow Broncos helmet and jersey several years ago.
http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/why-donald-trump-buying-12k-of-tebow-gear-could-potentially-be-an-irs-violation/
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRJIwXgdmju-D0pNbFw3YPFPMEIi2pLuIjDd032c4zcDa72e3XPsmif4h-y
And of course David Duke loves the Tweet:
Ex-KKK Grand Wizard David Duke expressed his gratitude and support for Donald Trump‘s tweet that used a red Star of David to accuse Hillary Clinton of corruption.
In one of a series of tweets published over the weekend, Duke said it was “ok” that Trump had replaced the image with the Star of David with one of a red circle, saying that “we welcome the hidden hand exposing itself.”
He also thanked Trump for “slipping some ‘Red Pills’ to the American people!” (“Red pill,” a term borrowed from The Matrix, typically refers to the men’s rights movement, but can be more broadly applied to any instance of one becoming aware of the secret nature of the world.)
Duke has been one of Trump’s troublesome supporters, and the candidate invited controversy back in February when he did not immediately disavow the former KKK leader’s endorsement. (He eventually did.) Duke subsequently took credit for a boost in Trump’s poll numbers.
Read more: http://www.mediaite.com/online/david-duke-expresses-gratitude-support-for-anti-semitic-trump-tweet/
In one of a series of tweets published over the weekend, Duke said it was “ok” that Trump had replaced the image with the Star of David with one of a red circle, saying that “we welcome the hidden hand exposing itself.”
He also thanked Trump for “slipping some ‘Red Pills’ to the American people!” (“Red pill,” a term borrowed from The Matrix, typically refers to the men’s rights movement, but can be more broadly applied to any instance of one becoming aware of the secret nature of the world.)
Duke has been one of Trump’s troublesome supporters, and the candidate invited controversy back in February when he did not immediately disavow the former KKK leader’s endorsement. (He eventually did.) Duke subsequently took credit for a boost in Trump’s poll numbers.
Read more: http://www.mediaite.com/online/david-duke-expresses-gratitude-support-for-anti-semitic-trump-tweet/
And of course he attempted to justify the Tweet by comparing to what else? Frozen! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!!!!
Over the weekend, Donald Trump tweeted a picture of Hillary Clinton next to a six-pointed star and piles of money, calling her the "most corrupt candidate ever." Soon after, a lot of people pointed out that this evoked some common anti-semitic tropes, and that the image had previously appeared on a white supremacist-leaning message board. Then Trump’s social media team hastily slapped a circle over the star and issued a Chewbacca defense-style explanation that involved the Microsoft Office Shapes tool and the premise that a sheriff’s badge "fit with the theme" of money and corruption. Then the campaign blamed the entire thing on "biased media," insisting that a candidate who routinely retweets apparent white supremacist accounts and refused to denounce former KKK grand wizard David Duke could not possibly condone anti-semitism.
http://www.theverge.com/2016/7/7/12116466/donald-trump-frozen-tweet-seriously-what-is-happening
http://www.theverge.com/2016/7/7/12116466/donald-trump-frozen-tweet-seriously-what-is-happening
And Hillary’s response was hilarious:
Sit down! Sit down! Go back to Univision and stop asking me questions I don’t know!
But this might be the funniest Trump moment to come along in the entire campaign:
[font size="8"]The Koch Brothers [/font]
From: Idiots #23
Spin it! Where does it land? Nobody knows! Something random in the news!
http://www.sfgate.com/world/article/Too-large-bulge-in-crotch-leads-to-airport-arrest-7229746.php
A man who was trying to smuggle drugs into Spain was busted when Madrid Airport officers noticed an exceptionally large bulge in his crotch.
A search of the hand luggage of the 43-year-old passenger, who had flown in from Costa Rica, turned up nothing, but the unusually large object protruding from his pants caught their attention, according to a story Tuesday in the Daily Mail.
Under two pairs of shorts, the officials found a plastic container attached to the man's genitals. It was filled with more than a pound of cocaine.
A man who was trying to smuggle drugs into Spain was busted when Madrid Airport officers noticed an exceptionally large bulge in his crotch.
A search of the hand luggage of the 43-year-old passenger, who had flown in from Costa Rica, turned up nothing, but the unusually large object protruding from his pants caught their attention, according to a story Tuesday in the Daily Mail.
Under two pairs of shorts, the officials found a plastic container attached to the man's genitals. It was filled with more than a pound of cocaine.
Spin it again! Money. Or should I say the complete waste of $10 million that the Koch Brothers spent on renaming George Mason’s school of law after late Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia. You know you would think that with the team of auditors that the Koch Brothers can afford, they would you know do some fact checking on this sort of thing before they spend $10 million on anything – doesn’t matter if you’re buying a Koenigsegg, or you’re spending $10 million to name a school after somebody. But no less, the Koch Brothers are huge losers this week after this happened:
(CNN)George Mason University recently renamed its law school after the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia -- and then quickly realized the acronym that name created was problematic.
The school first announced it would change the name to The Antonin Scalia School of Law, or ASSoL, after receiving an anonymous $30 million donation on March 31.
Observers took to Twitter to comment on the acronym's similarity to a vulgarity, with many of those tweeting not a fan of the conservative justice.
http://edition.cnn.com/2016/04/05/politics/george-mason-university-antonin-scalia-law-school-name-change/index.html
The school first announced it would change the name to The Antonin Scalia School of Law, or ASSoL, after receiving an anonymous $30 million donation on March 31.
Observers took to Twitter to comment on the acronym's similarity to a vulgarity, with many of those tweeting not a fan of the conservative justice.
http://edition.cnn.com/2016/04/05/politics/george-mason-university-antonin-scalia-law-school-name-change/index.html
As you can imagine this ignited a firestorm on Twitter with people using their twisted imaginations to figure out what “#ASSLaw” meant. My personal favorite Tweet being this:
“#ASSLaw is trending. Lol. I don't think this is the PR they were expecting. Antonin Scalia School of Law. Roflmao I prefer #ASSoL myself.”
That’s right – ASSoL. Which is pretty fitting when you think about it, especially when most people did think of Scalia as a giant ass.
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
From Idiots #33
There’s a lot of insanity surrounding Trumpenfuror this week. So Trumpenfuror went to Scotland for who the fuck knows why, and who the fuck cares why? We already discussed how batshit crazy his reaction to Brexit was. But what was he doing in Scotland? Certainly it wasn’t on the campaign trail, because, um, why the fuck would he be in Scotland for that?
Donald Trump has said it's a "great thing" Britain has "taken back their country" as he arrived in Scotland for the reopening of his Turnberry golf course this morning.
The US presidential candidate touched down in South Ayrshire by helicopter with his family as they prepare to cut the ribbon at the newly revamped resort, which he purchased two years ago.
His comments come on the same day Britain decided to leave the European Union and David Cameron stepped down as Prime Minister.
Wearing a hat emblazoned with his "Make America Great Again" campaign slogan, he gave a thumbs-up as he left his "Trump" emblazoned helicopter and shook hands with workers on his way to the hotel.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/donald-trump-says-its-great-8271738
The US presidential candidate touched down in South Ayrshire by helicopter with his family as they prepare to cut the ribbon at the newly revamped resort, which he purchased two years ago.
His comments come on the same day Britain decided to leave the European Union and David Cameron stepped down as Prime Minister.
Wearing a hat emblazoned with his "Make America Great Again" campaign slogan, he gave a thumbs-up as he left his "Trump" emblazoned helicopter and shook hands with workers on his way to the hotel.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/donald-trump-says-its-great-8271738
Yes!! He’s in Scotland to promote the reopening of his Turnberry based golf course! But that’s not before he was met with protest after protest. We already showed you how he feels about Brexit. This might be my favorite part of this whole shit storm – he was met with protest through people throwing Nazi golf balls!
While he was speaking at the ninth hole of his golf course, the billionaire was interrupted by British comedian/prankster Lee Nelson, who held up several swastika-emblazoned golf balls and tried to hand them out to the crowd.
Nelson, real name Simon Brodkin, hit the headlines last year when he showered former Fifa president Sepp Blatter with fake money.
Trump shouted 'Get him out of here!' before security personnel led him away, while Nelson grinned to camera, saying the balls were 'available in the clubhouse as part of a new Trump Turnberry range'.
Nelson, who was wearing a Trump Turnberry sweater, added: 'Sorry Mr Trump. I forgot to hand them out!'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3657308/Trump-flying-storm-Hundreds-protesters-Donald-Turnberry-reopens.html#ixzz4CVDuL3Hn
Nelson, real name Simon Brodkin, hit the headlines last year when he showered former Fifa president Sepp Blatter with fake money.
Trump shouted 'Get him out of here!' before security personnel led him away, while Nelson grinned to camera, saying the balls were 'available in the clubhouse as part of a new Trump Turnberry range'.
Nelson, who was wearing a Trump Turnberry sweater, added: 'Sorry Mr Trump. I forgot to hand them out!'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3657308/Trump-flying-storm-Hundreds-protesters-Donald-Turnberry-reopens.html#ixzz4CVDuL3Hn
And then of course all Trumpenfuror could do was talk about how great his golf course is:
CHRIS CUOMO (HOST): Break into Donald Trump's statement right now which is not something we often do but it's very remarkable at this point because of what he hasn't mentioned yet. Donald Trump has been up at the podium for about five minutes, has not mentioned Brexit, is only talking about his golf course and his other business ventures and how it came to be. Let's discuss why he would make this choice and what the implications are.
TRUMP: Blah, blah, blah, my golf course is fabulous, blah, blah, I'm fabulous, it's beautiful, it's grand it's great, blah, blah, blah...
https://mediamatters.org/video/2016/06/24/cnns-john-avlon-calls-trumps-failure-discuss-brexit-completely-insane/211175
TRUMP: Blah, blah, blah, my golf course is fabulous, blah, blah, I'm fabulous, it's beautiful, it's grand it's great, blah, blah, blah...
https://mediamatters.org/video/2016/06/24/cnns-john-avlon-calls-trumps-failure-discuss-brexit-completely-insane/211175
Is he mocking Trump impersonators like me? “I build the best golf courses, they have the best holes (ding!), they have the best ball washers, and I only hire the best caddys to work at my golf courses, and you won’t see any talking gophers at Trump brand international golf courses! Blah blah blah my golf courses are great!
And by the way in case you were wondering, Donald Trump’s son, Donald Trump Jr, is just as batshit crazy as his father is.
The younger Trump worked as "executive vice president of global branding" for Cambridge Who's Who, a New York company run by a man named Randy Narod, whom the Times describes as "a Long Island, N.Y., nightclub and bagel store owner barred from the securities industry for having had an impostor take his licensing exam."
Although Cambridge Who's Who was not owned by the Trumps, the Times says that after the younger Trump began working there in 2010, the Times says Cambridge benefited from the Trump name.
One person who Cambridge marketed its services to was a retired Oregon schoolteacher.
In Oregon, Phyllis Fread was in her 80s, dealing with Parkinson’s disease and had been retired from teaching for almost two decades when Cambridge started calling her at home, where she lived alone. Cambridge salespeople telephoned Ms. Fread — who did not use the internet — 42 times trying to sell her networking services, a website and other products she did not need, according to an investigation by the Oregon attorney general’s office.
http://www.wweek.com/news/2016/06/26/donald-trump-jr-s-employer-left-a-mark-on-elderly-oregon-woman/
Although Cambridge Who's Who was not owned by the Trumps, the Times says that after the younger Trump began working there in 2010, the Times says Cambridge benefited from the Trump name.
One person who Cambridge marketed its services to was a retired Oregon schoolteacher.
In Oregon, Phyllis Fread was in her 80s, dealing with Parkinson’s disease and had been retired from teaching for almost two decades when Cambridge started calling her at home, where she lived alone. Cambridge salespeople telephoned Ms. Fread — who did not use the internet — 42 times trying to sell her networking services, a website and other products she did not need, according to an investigation by the Oregon attorney general’s office.
http://www.wweek.com/news/2016/06/26/donald-trump-jr-s-employer-left-a-mark-on-elderly-oregon-woman/
And in case you were wondering – spoiler alert – that story does not have a happy ending.
[font size="8"]Alex Jones [/font]
From Idiots #25 :
Spin it to win it! And where does it land? Nobody knows! Ah, it lands on the Eagles! And specifically Joe Walsh is pretty awesome. While we were on break last week this happened:
A Statement From Joe Walsh Regarding His Withdrawl From a Concert Event on Monday, July 18th in Cleveland, OH
April 20, 2016 - "It was my understanding that I was playing a concert which was a non partisan event to benefit the families of American veterans on Monday, July 18 in Cleveland. The admat I approved said this specifically. Today it was announced that this event is, in fact, a launch for the Republican National Convention. In addition, my name is to be used to raise sponsorship dollars for convention-related purposes. Therefore, I must humbly withdraw my participation in this event with apologies to any fans or veterans and their families that I might disappoint.
I am very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear-mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaigns. It is both isolationist and spiteful. I cannot in good conscience endorse the Republican party in any way. I will look at doing a veteran related benefit concert later this year."
-- Joe Walsh
https://www.facebook.com/JoeWalshOfficial/?fref=nf
April 20, 2016 - "It was my understanding that I was playing a concert which was a non partisan event to benefit the families of American veterans on Monday, July 18 in Cleveland. The admat I approved said this specifically. Today it was announced that this event is, in fact, a launch for the Republican National Convention. In addition, my name is to be used to raise sponsorship dollars for convention-related purposes. Therefore, I must humbly withdraw my participation in this event with apologies to any fans or veterans and their families that I might disappoint.
I am very concerned about the rampant vitriol, fear-mongering and bullying coming from the current Republican campaigns. It is both isolationist and spiteful. I cannot in good conscience endorse the Republican party in any way. I will look at doing a veteran related benefit concert later this year."
-- Joe Walsh
https://www.facebook.com/JoeWalshOfficial/?fref=nf
Yes Joe Walsh hates the republicans and backed out of a planned concert which he later found out was a launching ground for this year’s GOP convention. Let’s play some Joe Walsh before we get into the stink of Infowars, shall we?
Sorry Dude, we love the Eagles here. Spin that shit again! And it lands on…. Oh Infowars! Infowars - that site you go to if you want to know the odds of an event in the news being the result of your guns being taken away. For most of us, we know the odds are zero, but Infowars fans think everything will result in your guns being taken away. Ugh, I don’t want to comment on Infowars or anything having to do with Alex Jones. But they keep me coming back for more. It’s so easy to make fun of right wing conspiracy theorists because they keep bringing the batshit crazy. I mean remember a few months ago when Beyonce showed up and eclipsed Coldplay’s halftime performance at the Super Bowl? Well if you saw Infowars last week you would have thought otherwise!
http://mediamatters.org/video/2016/04/25/trump-ally-alex-jones-claims-cia-funds-beyonce-cause-mayhem/210071
ALEX JONES: This is (Beyonce's) latest video, blowing stuff up, beating everything up, smashing vehicles, and it’s all about men. First it’s hate the cops in the last video, now it’s the ultimate feminist video being hailed. She just hates men and runs around with a crazed look on her face attacking everything.
Again, this is admitted high-level -- it turns out basically everything they put on the Super Bowl or out on Viacom is run by CIA propaganda because that’s their domestic job. “Beyonce invokes ‘urban terrorism’ in new video,” and this is just to get people to act like total morons so that they can then be basically arrested, set-up, put in jail. I mean, this is -- I mean look at the look on her face in the whole anti-police deal. This is how she ran around like, you with the cops, they’re the enemy, and that it’ll fix everything. And then she’s funded by the very government and the very platform, the very establishment system puts her out there.
When you see Beyonce doing all this and making the way to stand up, burn down your neighborhood, or attack your police. The police, then, are being federalized and geared up for what’s about to happen. And so it’s just a way to again play us all off against each other.
Again, this is admitted high-level -- it turns out basically everything they put on the Super Bowl or out on Viacom is run by CIA propaganda because that’s their domestic job. “Beyonce invokes ‘urban terrorism’ in new video,” and this is just to get people to act like total morons so that they can then be basically arrested, set-up, put in jail. I mean, this is -- I mean look at the look on her face in the whole anti-police deal. This is how she ran around like, you with the cops, they’re the enemy, and that it’ll fix everything. And then she’s funded by the very government and the very platform, the very establishment system puts her out there.
When you see Beyonce doing all this and making the way to stand up, burn down your neighborhood, or attack your police. The police, then, are being federalized and geared up for what’s about to happen. And so it’s just a way to again play us all off against each other.
What is Alex Jones smoking? And does he even know what the CIA does? Or is he just talking out of his ass? I mean seriously Alex Jones is about as deranged as they come. He’s Bill O’Reilly’s racist uncle. Who wants to go to jail? If you want to see people getting arrested for doing stupid shit, take a look at this story from Fort Bend, Indiana where a student was arrested for paying for lunch with a US legal tender $2 bill. I have one of those in my wallet right now! And then take a look at this statement from the White House where they said that our over populated prisons are more costly than helpful. And Alex Jones thinks people are getting arrested on purpose because it's a CIA plot purposefully incited by their media puppet Beyonce? What the fuck? And Beyonce is inciting riots? Show me exactly one riot that has been undertaken as a result of Beyonce’s Super Bowl appearance. I mean seriously. It can’t be done, can it?
And in case you were wondering, the guest Alex Jones had on was just about as batshit crazy as he is:
Yesterday, conspiracy theorist broadcaster Alex Jones claimed that Beyoncé's new album, "Lemonade," was part of an attempt by the CIA to promote violence and attacks on the police, which would in turn allow the federal government to take control over local police forces. He expounded on this theory in an interview yesterday with far-right pastor James David Manning, urging parents to make sure that their kids aren’t exposed to Beyoncé because she intends to eat their brains. “I’m pro-human so I say, black people, especially, stop killing your kids and get them in church, whatever, take them away from Beyoncé, who wants to eat their brain with the CIA, literally,” Jones said, adding: “Obama literally is the killer of black people and they love him.” Manning, who said he gave Jones’ statements “three-and-a-half Boom Shakalakas,” said “Beyoncé is going to inspire children all across every spectrum to act in a violent way” while, at the same time, literal demons are “promoting” homosexuality “in our schools and in our institutions.” Jones said that he even saw with his own eyes “literal, devil-worshiping communists” demonstrating in favor of abortion rights turn into satanic lizards: “The black people have a green tone, the white people have a green tone, they are turning into lizards or something.”
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-beyonc-wants-eat-childrens-brains#sthash.8BDUIaIP.dpuf
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-beyonc-wants-eat-childrens-brains#sthash.8BDUIaIP.dpuf
Holy crap, this guy contradicted himself in the same sentence! He’s pro human but says that Beyonce will eat your brains. Is he on the Walking Dead?
You know what? I actually did go buy Beyonce’s latest album “Lemonade” in spite of Alex Jones and his batshit crazy Infowars followers. And here's an actual screen shot from my personal iTunes library just to prove it! In addition to loving the metal, I also love the hip hop, the jazz, the funk and just about everything in between.
And you know what? It’s really fucking good! Suck it, Alex Jones! In fact I think every time you buy a Beyonce album, the heads of Infowars subscribers do this:
[font size="8"]Donald Trump [/font]
From Idiots #26
So for this entry we really got to talk about how Trumpenfuror celebrated Cinco De Mayo. I mean this is about as batshit crazy as it gets. Do I need to remind everyone of how low Trump is polling with the Latino community?
PRINCETON, N.J. -- Presidential candidate Donald Trump has a major image problem among U.S. Hispanics, with 77% saying they view him unfavorably and just 12% viewing him favorably. This gives Trump by far the most negative image among Hispanics of any of the four Republican candidates. He also has a much more negative image among Hispanics than the two Democratic candidates.
http://www.gallup.com/poll/189887/trump-major-image-problem-hispanics.aspx
http://www.gallup.com/poll/189887/trump-major-image-problem-hispanics.aspx
That’s right! His numbers are not just low, but a negative 77% rating among Hispanic and Latino voters! To give you an idea of how low of a number that is, right now, *I* have a polling approval rating among the Latino community of 0%. Well hey nobody asked!
But how did Donald Trump celebrate Cinco De Mayo? By posting this bizarre picture of himself eating a taco salad made at Trump Tower:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-cinco-de-mayo
Donald Trump, the Republican Party's presumptive presidential nominee, celebrated Cinco de Mayo Thursday with a Tex-Mex taco bowl in New York.
"I love Hispanics!" Trump posted to social media, with a photo of the billionaire hunched over a barely-touched taco bowl purportedly from the Trump Tower Grill.
A recent Gallup poll found nearly 80 percent of Hispanics have an unfavorable view of Trump.
Donald Trump, the Republican Party's presumptive presidential nominee, celebrated Cinco de Mayo Thursday with a Tex-Mex taco bowl in New York.
"I love Hispanics!" Trump posted to social media, with a photo of the billionaire hunched over a barely-touched taco bowl purportedly from the Trump Tower Grill.
A recent Gallup poll found nearly 80 percent of Hispanics have an unfavorable view of Trump.
So he eats a taco salad and claims he loves Hispanics? That would be like me listening to a Norwegian black metal band and going “I LOVE NORWAY!!!!” I mean remember our Taco Bell hating friend Clem O’Connor (see Idiots #10)? To put things in perspective, that guy has more of a respect for Mexican culture than Donald Trump does! *AND* he has a higher approval rating among Latino voters than Donald Trump does! So let’s throw the Tweet up there:
By the way let’s zoom in on that shall we?
Yes! The placemat he’s using for his taco salad is none other than a picture of his first wife Marla Maples! Well done! #MYWIFE!!!
But Samantha Bee, formerly of the Daily Show, had a great response:
"The best taco bowls are made by hardworking immigrants who don't like being called rapists by a rich prick. I love inauthentic Mexican food!"
And in case you were wondering, this indeed backfired on him big time:
http://bigstory.ap.org/article/1412ed6de0454abc9d81e892e5fc53e6/trumps-cinco-de-mayo-post-draws-ire-some-latinos
NEW YORK (AP) — Donald Trump's social media post on Thursday to mark Cinco de Mayo immediately went viral, spawning criticism from some Latino groups that found it offensive and pandering.
Trump took to Twitter and Facebook with a picture of himself eating a taco bowl and the caption: "Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!"
The post generated tens of thousands of retweets and seemingly as many jokes. But not everyone found it amusing.
Janet Murguia, president of the National Council of La Raza, the nation's largest Hispanic civil rights organization, tweeted a short time later that the Republican presidential front-runner's post was "clueless, offensive and self-promoting."
"Eating a taco or wearing a sombrero doesn't cut it w/our community in 2016," Murguia tweeted.
NEW YORK (AP) — Donald Trump's social media post on Thursday to mark Cinco de Mayo immediately went viral, spawning criticism from some Latino groups that found it offensive and pandering.
Trump took to Twitter and Facebook with a picture of himself eating a taco bowl and the caption: "Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!"
The post generated tens of thousands of retweets and seemingly as many jokes. But not everyone found it amusing.
Janet Murguia, president of the National Council of La Raza, the nation's largest Hispanic civil rights organization, tweeted a short time later that the Republican presidential front-runner's post was "clueless, offensive and self-promoting."
"Eating a taco or wearing a sombrero doesn't cut it w/our community in 2016," Murguia tweeted.
And here’s the top 3 most liked responses on Facebook in response to Trumpenfuror’s Tweet:
"Can the taco bowl be president instead of Trump?" (143,912 likes)
" Equivalent to: 'Happy Black History Month! The best fried chicken is made at Trump Tower Grill. I love The Blacks!'" (88,009 likes)
"What do this taco bowl and Donald Trump have in common...? There is nothing authentic about either of them." (65,150 likes)
" Equivalent to: 'Happy Black History Month! The best fried chicken is made at Trump Tower Grill. I love The Blacks!'" (88,009 likes)
"What do this taco bowl and Donald Trump have in common...? There is nothing authentic about either of them." (65,150 likes)
By the way in case you were wondering, the New York Eater reviewed the taco salad at Trump Tower. In a city filled with amazing food, why would anyone choose to eat something that’s bland and tasteless? #TrumpFoodSoBland
I also ordered "beef tacos" ($13.50) which turned out to be a fried tortilla bowl heaped with romaine lettuce, grated yellow cheese, and plain ground beef that was so devoid of flavor, it rendered an insult to Mexicans every bit as profound as Trump’s previous pronouncements. Trump food is bland food.
http://ny.eater.com/2016/1/21/10809092/nyc-donald-trump-restuarant
http://ny.eater.com/2016/1/21/10809092/nyc-donald-trump-restuarant
[font size="8"]Constitutional Literalists[/font]
From Idiots #45:
Time once again to ask:
Constitutional literalism. How is this still a thing? Remember back when the Bundy Bunch first took over the Malheur Wildlife Sanctuary and started carrying around pocket size versions of the US Constitution because… reasons?
Well it appears that the Bundy Bunch weren’t the only ones plotting insane overthrows of the government to restore constitutional literalism. Check out this Georgia man who was interviewed on NPR recently.
Jimmy Arno and his wife Dani live in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and both say they’re deeply concerned about the direction the United States has been taking in recent years. So Jimmy decided to talk to an NPR reporter and declare that should Hillary Clinton be elected President in November, a second civil war may be necessary:
“Should martial law, civil war — whatever — break out in this country, they will uphold the Constitution and rebuild our loss. The war that’s going to break out if Hillary Clinton’s elected, if that happens. Your patriots are going to overthrow the government.”
Dani said she’s still very upset about a Black Lives Matter protest that was held at the local high school recently. And Jimmy says he cannot for the life of him understand why black people get so upset when they see the Confederate flag being displayed. He also painted a grim picture of what life in the United States is like, in his own twisted opinion:
“If you go to a movie theater, you’re liable to get shot, you go to a mall, you’re liable to get shot. If you go to Atlanta or a major city, you’re liable to be shot or attacked.”
http://www.liberalamerica.org/2016/09/26/georgia-man-tells-npr-if-clinton-wins-patriots-are-going-to-overthrow-the-government-audio/
“Should martial law, civil war — whatever — break out in this country, they will uphold the Constitution and rebuild our loss. The war that’s going to break out if Hillary Clinton’s elected, if that happens. Your patriots are going to overthrow the government.”
Dani said she’s still very upset about a Black Lives Matter protest that was held at the local high school recently. And Jimmy says he cannot for the life of him understand why black people get so upset when they see the Confederate flag being displayed. He also painted a grim picture of what life in the United States is like, in his own twisted opinion:
“If you go to a movie theater, you’re liable to get shot, you go to a mall, you’re liable to get shot. If you go to Atlanta or a major city, you’re liable to be shot or attacked.”
http://www.liberalamerica.org/2016/09/26/georgia-man-tells-npr-if-clinton-wins-patriots-are-going-to-overthrow-the-government-audio/
So to extrapolate, Mr. Arno advocates people carrying guns to protect themselves from getting shot by other people carrying guns. Right. But constitutional literalists are just like religious literalists. They don’t know that of which they speak. Much like Lloyd Christmas in Dumb & Dumber.
In 1802, Thomas Jefferson wrote a letter to the Danbury Baptists, claiming that the Bill of Rights’ First Amendment establishes a “wall of separation” that divides church and state. As the First Amendment put it, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”
Yet contemporary American politics is infused with religion — in particular, with Christianity. The president is sworn in on a Bible, and it’s almost unthinkable that she or he could be openly atheistic and claim that God is a fiction and morality comes from something other than the supernatural. Even more, Scripture is often used by politicians, pundits and everyday Americans to justify their political beliefs.
For example, Rep. John Shimkus, R-Ill., famously dismissed climate change in 2009 by citing verses in Genesis and Matthew and saying that “the Earth will end only when God declares it’s time to be over. Man will not destroy this Earth — this Earth will not be destroyed by a flood.”
http://www.salon.com/2016/10/08/faith-in-ignorance-politicians-who-quote-the-bible-often-dont-know-anything-about-the-bible/
Yet contemporary American politics is infused with religion — in particular, with Christianity. The president is sworn in on a Bible, and it’s almost unthinkable that she or he could be openly atheistic and claim that God is a fiction and morality comes from something other than the supernatural. Even more, Scripture is often used by politicians, pundits and everyday Americans to justify their political beliefs.
For example, Rep. John Shimkus, R-Ill., famously dismissed climate change in 2009 by citing verses in Genesis and Matthew and saying that “the Earth will end only when God declares it’s time to be over. Man will not destroy this Earth — this Earth will not be destroyed by a flood.”
http://www.salon.com/2016/10/08/faith-in-ignorance-politicians-who-quote-the-bible-often-dont-know-anything-about-the-bible/
That’s right – a senator was able to dismiss climate change by quoting the book of Genesis. You know the book that gave us this gaudy monstrosity in Kentucky:
So constitutional literalists and biblical literalists do not know of which they speak. You know what the end result of that if you were to get a ven diagram going between the two? People like batshit crazy Christian conspiracy theorist Theodore Shoebat, who are actively blaming Hurricane Matthew on gay marriage. Yes in 2016. How is that still a thing by the way? :
Andrew Bieszad, a contributor to Shoebat.com, a popular anti-gay, Christian extremist website, explains that God is sending the hurricane as “a sign of His anger” against America for tolerating homosexuality. The Bible clearly teaches that in the Old Testament whenever the Hebrews were very disobedient towards God, He would send punishments against them, many times in the forms of natural disasters. Christian history also recognizes the same, where God will use His creation to execute judgment against the wicked. While not all bad weather is necessarily a sign of sin, both sacred scripture and sacred tradition clearly note that it can be so. Now we know that Florida is an area that is infected with sin, especially cities such as Miami and Orlando, which are veritable dens of sodomy.
And while Bieszad and others are blaming the gays for Hurricane Mathew, other Christian extremists blame abortion and Hillary Clinton for the storm.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2016/10/christian-extremists-blame-gays-for-hurricane-matthew/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
And while Bieszad and others are blaming the gays for Hurricane Mathew, other Christian extremists blame abortion and Hillary Clinton for the storm.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2016/10/christian-extremists-blame-gays-for-hurricane-matthew/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
Or Pro Donald Trump supporters who want to overthrow the government:
Charles Kesler, a professor of government at Claremont McKenna College and the editor of the Claremont Review of Books, wrote in the spring issue of the journal that America may be facing “the Weimar problem”: “Has the national culture, popular and elite, deteriorated so much that the virtues necessary to sustain republican government are no longer viable? America is not there yet, although when 40% of children are born out of wedlock it is not too early to wonder.” It’s no accident that this question is raised in an essay making case that Donald Trump isn’t as terrible as mainstream conservatives like William Kristol fear he is. If you live in the Weimar Republic, Kesler implicitly argues, a figure like Trump could come as a relief.
https://newrepublic.com/article/137410/pro-trump-intellectuals-want-overthrow-america
https://newrepublic.com/article/137410/pro-trump-intellectuals-want-overthrow-america
And in case you’re wondering where this is leading, what the ultimate end game of the constitutional literalist is, according to real life Jabba The Hutt, Maine governor Paul Le Page – the original person who somehow got elected, we need some fascism in our lives. Because… fuck freedom!
Maine Gov. Paul LePage (R) praised Donald Trump as a leader who would "show some authoritarian power" on Tuesday, even as he slammed President Barack Obama as an "autocrat."
"We need a Donald Trump to show some authoritarian power in our country and bring back the rule of law," LePage said in an interview with Maine radio station WVOM. He went on to compare Trump to Obama, decrying the President as "an autocrat" who ignores Congress and "just does it on his own."
As Maine's Sun Journal newspaper noted, the dictionary defines "autocrat" as a person who behaves in an authoritarian manner. LePage was seemingly unconcerned by Trump’s comments about forcing himself on women in a 2005 video that resurfaced last week, but conceded that Trump is not the "ideal guy I'd want my daughter going after.”
Lauren LePage, the Maine governor’s daughter, was hired in August by the Trump campaign as state coalitions director.
Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/lepage-trump-authoritarian-obama-autocrat
"We need a Donald Trump to show some authoritarian power in our country and bring back the rule of law," LePage said in an interview with Maine radio station WVOM. He went on to compare Trump to Obama, decrying the President as "an autocrat" who ignores Congress and "just does it on his own."
As Maine's Sun Journal newspaper noted, the dictionary defines "autocrat" as a person who behaves in an authoritarian manner. LePage was seemingly unconcerned by Trump’s comments about forcing himself on women in a 2005 video that resurfaced last week, but conceded that Trump is not the "ideal guy I'd want my daughter going after.”
Lauren LePage, the Maine governor’s daughter, was hired in August by the Trump campaign as state coalitions director.
Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/lepage-trump-authoritarian-obama-autocrat
That’s enough to make you ask – Constitutional Literalism:
[font size="8"]John Kasich[/font]
From Idiots #14
Politicians – especially republicans – tend to promise some incredibly stupid shit while campaigning. One such politician is dead last candidate, and the current governor of Ohio, John Kasich. At least to give him credit for one thing, he knows what music fans like, and that’s some Pink Floyd. Oh I love me some Pink Floyd. To paraphrase a quote from Homer Simpson - “He who is tired of Pink Floyd is tired of life.” And that is true if you're a music fan. But John Kasich is so far behind in the polls that he's resorting to saying stupid shit like this. Roll tape!
Republican presidential candidate John Kasich placed 8th in last night’s Iowa caucus, earning only 1.9% of the vote. But Kasich knows what the people want — Pink Floyd — and he’s prepared to offer it. The Ohio Governor spoke to CNN about his campaign today, and the interview concluded with Alisyn Camerota asking him about his favorite concert ever. “Pink Floyd’s The Wall,” Kasich replied. “Roger Waters is a remarkable artist. I saw The Wall in Pittsburgh; it was absolutely incredible. I don’t even have to think twice, it was the best. And if I’m president, I am going to once and for all try to reunite Pink Floyd to come together and play a couple songs. And since we have so much trouble in America with our finances, I’m going to start with a little song they created called ‘Money.'” Well, there ya have it! Watch below.
http://www.stereogum.com/1856977/presidential-candidate-john-kasich-promises-to-reunite-pink-floyd-if-elected/video/
http://www.stereogum.com/1856977/presidential-candidate-john-kasich-promises-to-reunite-pink-floyd-if-elected/video/
Hey! Hey knows what we like, and we apparently love some Pink Floyd. I know I do! But getting Roger Waters and David Gilmour in the same room would be a near impossible feat without them killing each other. But hey… they still tour and they still play Pink Floyd songs, so its’ not like we’re missing much. I am actually going to see David Gilmour in March at the Hollywood Bowl playing behind his great new album “Rattle That Lock”, and of course he’ll be playing some Dark Side and Wish You Were Here era Floyd. Between poison in Flint, our crumbling infrastructure, and our military industrial complex getting unchecked power and government subsidies, is this really what we want our next president focusing all his power on? Besides, we all know what this is really about:
[font size="8"]TV Time[/font]
From Idiots #43 :
Spin that shit!!! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop!!! Hell yeah!!! I win 10,000. Of something. What that is we don't know yet. But still... it's 10,000. Spin it again! And we land on the "???? (mystery item)"! So we’re going to take a page from George Carlin and take some time out and tell you about what’s on TV tonight.
So with that in mind, we have a movie recommendation for you to start things off. We’ve already discussed the Bathroom Police, and here’s a rather bizarre film that’s making that the rounds in Toronto that’s ruffled a few feathers. Why? It’s essentially the worst nightmare of the Bathroom Police come to life! And for some weird reason, why am I not surprised Michelle Rodriguez is involved?
The director and star of a film about a hitman who is put through gender reassignment surgery by a relative of one of his victims defended the project as it had its world premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival on Wednesday.
"
re)Assignment" stars Michelle Rodriguez as an assassin named Frank Kitchen. After killing the brother of a brilliant but deranged surgeon, Kitchen is captured and awakes to find himself unwillingly turned into a woman.
The premise drew criticism from some in the transgender community, who said the medical procedure should not be used as a sensationalistic plot device. It was also called transphobic and exploitative by Twitter users.
The film's challenges have not stopped there. Some early reviews have been very negative, with the Guardian newspaper calling it "a strong contender for 2016’s worst movie".
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-filmfestival-tiff-reassignment-idUSKCN11L05N
"
re)Assignment" stars Michelle Rodriguez as an assassin named Frank Kitchen. After killing the brother of a brilliant but deranged surgeon, Kitchen is captured and awakes to find himself unwillingly turned into a woman.
The premise drew criticism from some in the transgender community, who said the medical procedure should not be used as a sensationalistic plot device. It was also called transphobic and exploitative by Twitter users.
The film's challenges have not stopped there. Some early reviews have been very negative, with the Guardian newspaper calling it "a strong contender for 2016’s worst movie".
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-filmfestival-tiff-reassignment-idUSKCN11L05N
But is it really the worst movie ever? Where are the people who judge the Razzie Awards when you need them?
Walter Hill's (Re)Assignment, a revenge thriller about a hitman who undergoes an involuntary sex change at the hands of a mad doctor, was dogged by controversy before it was even made, but many a great movie has been made from a premise that seemed ill-advised or worse. (Re)Assignment is not one of those movies. The only thing that keeps it from being as damaging as organisations like Glaad feared is that its plot its so fantastic and nonsensical that it never comes anywhere near the real world. It helps that it's so bad almost no one will see it.
(Re)Assignment, which Hill co-wrote with Denis Hamill, is framed through the institutionalised musings of Sigourney Weaver's Dr Rachel Jane, a back-alley megalomaniac who performs cut-rate gender reassignment surgery on the "unfortunates" who cannot afford a more reputable, less unlicensed surgeon. Her true passion, though, is the more speculative work she performs on unsuspecting subjects, the kind she can pay henchmen to snatch off the street and who won't be missed later. When hitman Frank Kitchen kills her beloved brother, the good doctor sees an opportunity to combine her vocation with her desire for revenge: She kidnaps Frank, knocks him unconscious, and when he awakes, he's been, at least physically, transformed into a woman, one who bears a strong resemblance to Michelle Rodriguez.
http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20160913-film-review-is-reassignment-2016s-most-offensive-movie
(Re)Assignment, which Hill co-wrote with Denis Hamill, is framed through the institutionalised musings of Sigourney Weaver's Dr Rachel Jane, a back-alley megalomaniac who performs cut-rate gender reassignment surgery on the "unfortunates" who cannot afford a more reputable, less unlicensed surgeon. Her true passion, though, is the more speculative work she performs on unsuspecting subjects, the kind she can pay henchmen to snatch off the street and who won't be missed later. When hitman Frank Kitchen kills her beloved brother, the good doctor sees an opportunity to combine her vocation with her desire for revenge: She kidnaps Frank, knocks him unconscious, and when he awakes, he's been, at least physically, transformed into a woman, one who bears a strong resemblance to Michelle Rodriguez.
http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20160913-film-review-is-reassignment-2016s-most-offensive-movie
OK so maybe this movie isn’t for you. How about the new MacGuyver?
The project, from CBS TV Studios and Lionsgate TV, has undergone an evolution, with an original script by NCIS: LA executive producer R. Scott Gemmill, a pilot script greenlighted to pilot by Paul Downs Colaizzo, and a shooting script filmed as pilot by Colaizzo and Code Black executive producer Brett Mahoney, who was recruited to help on the pilot. Now both Colaizzo and Mahoney are leaving, with Hawaii Five-0 executive producer showrunner Peter Lenkov tasked with writing a new script.
Lenkov has a solid track record in rebooting classic series. CBS had unsuccessfully tried to remake Hawaii Five-0 with another writer before bringing in Lenkov, along with Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci, to come up with a new take. Lenkov wrote the teleplay for the trio’s Hawaii Five-0 pilot. It went to series, which Lenkov has been shepherding as showrunner ever since. The series, which has a rich off-network syndication deal and is a big international seller for CBS TV Studios, was recently renewed for a seventh season. Lenkov is slated to continue on Hawaii Five-0 while also spearheading MacGyver.
http://deadline.com/2016/05/macgyver-series-cbs-changes-peter-lenkov-1201755899/
Lenkov has a solid track record in rebooting classic series. CBS had unsuccessfully tried to remake Hawaii Five-0 with another writer before bringing in Lenkov, along with Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci, to come up with a new take. Lenkov wrote the teleplay for the trio’s Hawaii Five-0 pilot. It went to series, which Lenkov has been shepherding as showrunner ever since. The series, which has a rich off-network syndication deal and is a big international seller for CBS TV Studios, was recently renewed for a seventh season. Lenkov is slated to continue on Hawaii Five-0 while also spearheading MacGyver.
http://deadline.com/2016/05/macgyver-series-cbs-changes-peter-lenkov-1201755899/
Better. Warmer. Closer. Or the real reason I wanted to do this entry – one of our favorite punching bags here at the Top 10, the Duck Dynasty crew (who are really fake pieces of shit that the religious community loves), was just named WORST TV SHOW EVER!!!! Ha ha!!!
Duck Dynasty
2012-present
Congratulations, Robertson family – you are officially the worst anything ever! A dipshit sitcom passed off as a reality show, with a bunch of bearded phonies stumbling over their scripted banter – like The Beverly Hillbillies with less believable facial hair. The Robertsons talked about Jesus a lot, but Jesus probably prefers Real Housewives like the rest of us.
http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/12-worst-tv-shows-of-all-time-w441775
2012-present
Congratulations, Robertson family – you are officially the worst anything ever! A dipshit sitcom passed off as a reality show, with a bunch of bearded phonies stumbling over their scripted banter – like The Beverly Hillbillies with less believable facial hair. The Robertsons talked about Jesus a lot, but Jesus probably prefers Real Housewives like the rest of us.
http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/12-worst-tv-shows-of-all-time-w441775
You know I hate to kick a guy when he’s down but considering that piece of shit Phil Robertson has repeatedly done that to America’s LGBT community, all I have to say is:
Don’t forget they openly supported Ted Cruz:
[font size="8"]Rick Pitino[/font]
From Idiots #18
Finally tonight, in case this edition gets too dark for you, there was a lot of racism, white supremacism, and death. So we’re going to take a look at something much lighter before you get out of here.The March Madness tournament. Where even President Obama has zero chance in hell of making a perfect bracket, so imagine what chance you have of doing the same! So we’re going to go to Kentucky for this insane story. Specifically the Louisville Cardinals. Since the beginning of the 2015 – 2016 season, the Louisville Cardinals have been at the center of one of the most insane scandals ever to hit the NCAA. Specifically this happened:
LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Five former University of Louisville basketball players and recruits told Outside the Lines that they attended parties at a campus dorm from 2010 to 2014 that included strippers paid for by the team's former graduate assistant coach, Andre McGee.
One of the former players said he had sex with a dancer after McGee paid her. Each of the players and recruits attended different parties at Billy Minardi Hall, where dancers, many of whom stripped naked, were present. Three of the five players said they attended parties as recruits and also when they played for Louisville.
Said one of the recruits, who ultimately signed to play elsewhere: "I knew they weren't college girls. It was crazy. It was like I was in a strip club."
http://espn.go.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/13927159/former-louisville-cardinals-basketball-players-recruits-acknowledge-stripper-parties-minardi-hall
One of the former players said he had sex with a dancer after McGee paid her. Each of the players and recruits attended different parties at Billy Minardi Hall, where dancers, many of whom stripped naked, were present. Three of the five players said they attended parties as recruits and also when they played for Louisville.
Said one of the recruits, who ultimately signed to play elsewhere: "I knew they weren't college girls. It was crazy. It was like I was in a strip club."
http://espn.go.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/13927159/former-louisville-cardinals-basketball-players-recruits-acknowledge-stripper-parties-minardi-hall
That… sounds innocent enough. I mean doesn’t it? We’re having a party for you on the 6th floor dorm room, room 25A, no RAs, no rules and just about anything goes! Enjoy yourselves, we’ll look the other way. And you have campus insurance in the event of STDs or drug overdoses. We just want a winning basketball team. Just go there, you will be treated to a fucking awesome time! The university’s former head of athletics paid local area strippers to purposefully entice new recruits to sign up for Louisville’s basketball program. It would be even funnier if they used a Groupon. And what kind of service do you go through? Did they have the strippers on a rolodex? That is shockingly, stunningly idiotic. So when one gets caught with their pants down – literally in this case, with raging boners included (the Raging Boners - I also saw them at the Troub, they were also playing with the Trans Amabassadors
) – how does one redeem themselves? Why you self impose a ban from participating in the next couple of rounds of NCAA tournaments!
Louisville has announced a one-year postseason ban for its men's basketball team amid ongoing investigations into a sex scandal in which an escort alleged that a former staffer paid her and other dancers to strip and have sex with recruits and players.
University President James Ramsey said Friday at a news conference that an investigation by the school has revealed that some violations did occur. Ramsey said the ban is for all postseason tournaments, including the NCAA and the Atlantic Coast Conference tournaments.
Ramsey said he received the latest results of the investigation on Thursday, but noted the review of the allegation is continuing.
“We found out yesterday that we had a problem,” said athletic director Tom Jurich, adding that university wanted to deal with the findings as quickly as possible.
http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-louisville-basketball-postseason-ban-escort-scandal-20160205-story.html
University President James Ramsey said Friday at a news conference that an investigation by the school has revealed that some violations did occur. Ramsey said the ban is for all postseason tournaments, including the NCAA and the Atlantic Coast Conference tournaments.
Ramsey said he received the latest results of the investigation on Thursday, but noted the review of the allegation is continuing.
“We found out yesterday that we had a problem,” said athletic director Tom Jurich, adding that university wanted to deal with the findings as quickly as possible.
http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-louisville-basketball-postseason-ban-escort-scandal-20160205-story.html
That’s right – they purposefully self imposed a ban on participating in this year’s NCAA tournament. The NCAA findings did find that Louisville knowingly participated in some astoundingly stupid recruiting violations. This is something so jaw droppingly stupid that the kindergartener who sits in the corner and eats paste looks smarter than most of the university employees at Louisville. But what does Pitino himself think of his school’s recruiting violations?
While Pitino very much left the door open for retirement or simply a departure from Louisville, he made it clear that he isn't necessarily leaning in that direction:
"I think anything's possible. I doubt it. I don't think it's probable. I just was blindsided, disgusted and saddened by this whole thing. ... I thought we'd be playing for the national title and going to the Final Four this year, and it was a shock that it was taken away."
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2620914-rick-pitino-comments-on-future-at-louisville-amid-escort-scandal
"I think anything's possible. I doubt it. I don't think it's probable. I just was blindsided, disgusted and saddened by this whole thing. ... I thought we'd be playing for the national title and going to the Final Four this year, and it was a shock that it was taken away."
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2620914-rick-pitino-comments-on-future-at-louisville-amid-escort-scandal
So the question remains – did he know or did he not know about the campus recruiting violations ahead of time? Well the reason why they self imposed a ban lies in the hands of a guy named Chuck Smrt:
The fourth man at the table with these most influential U of L figures was compliance consultant Chuck Smrt, who was hired in September to conduct an internal inquiry into the claims made in Katina Powell's book and guide the school through the NCAA investigation process.
Who is Chuck Smrt?
"What a guy like Chuck Smrt brings to the table is he knows the dance," said Dave Ridpath, a sports administration professor at Ohio University and an expert on NCAA compliance who has come to know Smrt professionally. "He knows how to protect the institution."
http://www.courier-journal.com/story/sports/college/louisville/2016/02/19/who-is-chuck-smrt-louisville-basketball-ncaa-investigation/80556786/
Who is Chuck Smrt?
"What a guy like Chuck Smrt brings to the table is he knows the dance," said Dave Ridpath, a sports administration professor at Ohio University and an expert on NCAA compliance who has come to know Smrt professionally. "He knows how to protect the institution."
http://www.courier-journal.com/story/sports/college/louisville/2016/02/19/who-is-chuck-smrt-louisville-basketball-ncaa-investigation/80556786/
Sure! The guy who spells his name “Smart” without an “a” sounds like a trustworthy fellow! I know what you’re thinking right?
But here’s where it gets really weird. And I mean really weird. As if it wasn’t weird enough already:
Louisville coach Rick Pitino gave his departing transfers some championship-quality bling and a video tribute featuring "One Shining Moment."
Pitino had promised a surprise to honor their contributions in a season that won't include the NCAA tournament appearance they had hoped for. Surviving some tense final moments in Tuesday night's 56-53 victory over Georgia Tech helped make that postgame ceremony especially celebratory for the 11th-ranked Cardinals.
Chinanu Onuaku made two free throws with 30.9 seconds remaining, and Damion Lee added two more with 10.7 left to end the game -- and the home portion of his one-year Cardinals stint -- on a high note.
http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/14882110/rick-pitino-honors-louisville-cardinals-senior-transfers-rings-one-shining-moment-video-wake-postseason-ban
Pitino had promised a surprise to honor their contributions in a season that won't include the NCAA tournament appearance they had hoped for. Surviving some tense final moments in Tuesday night's 56-53 victory over Georgia Tech helped make that postgame ceremony especially celebratory for the 11th-ranked Cardinals.
Chinanu Onuaku made two free throws with 30.9 seconds remaining, and Damion Lee added two more with 10.7 left to end the game -- and the home portion of his one-year Cardinals stint -- on a high note.
http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/14882110/rick-pitino-honors-louisville-cardinals-senior-transfers-rings-one-shining-moment-video-wake-postseason-ban
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s it! Amid one of the most jaw dropping, shockingly stupid sports scandals in recent memory, starring someone who’s not named Ryan Braun (oh stop booing, Brewers fans!), Rick Pitino makes it all better for his departing seniors by giving them championship rings and a fake championship ceremony! There is nothing, I mean nothing can put into words this epic fail of a scandal. I mean they didn’t even play one fucking game in the March Madness tournament, and decided to reward themselves. So with that in mind, I’m going do something unprecedented for our audience here tonight. I’m giving you all… fake championship rings. When people ask you what you did to earn this ring – tell them it doesn’t matter! Use Louisville’s excuse!
That’s right! You get a ring! And you get a ring! And you get a ring! And you get one, and you get one, and you get one! Everybody gets a ring!! And here, I’ll even give you your own net to cut down! Sponsored by Werner Ladders!
By the way yes I’m aware of the irony that photo is from Louisville’s championship run in 2013. I’ll even throw in that bullshit One Shining Moment song:
Just remember – it doesn’t matter what you did to earn this championship, all that matters is that you’re a self imposed champion, and nobody can ever take that away from you!
[font size="8"]Bonus Idiot:[/font]
[font size="8"]Mitch McConnell[/font]
From: Idiots #38
Spin the wheel one last time this week. People Who Somehow Got Elected. Hit it!
And now it’s time for another edition of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. This week – Kentucky senator and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R- NRA). You know it’s nice to know that in an era when gun violence is at an all time high, that the guy in charge of the Senate majority is a paid shill for the gun lobby:
Supreme Court justices are nominated by the president and appointed with the advice and consent of the National Rifle Association, according to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). McConnell offered this unusual view of the confirmation process during an interview with Fox News Sunday. In response to a question from host Chris Wallace, who asked if Senate Republicans would consider the nomination of Judge Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court after the election if Hillary Clinton prevails, McConnell responded that he “can’t imagine that a Republican majority in the United States Senate would want to confirm, in a lame duck session, a nominee opposed by the National Rifle Association the National Federation of Independent Businesses.”
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2016/03/20/3761908/mcconnell-no-new-supreme-court-justice-until-the-nra-approves-of-the-nominee/
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2016/03/20/3761908/mcconnell-no-new-supreme-court-justice-until-the-nra-approves-of-the-nominee/
Yes. He would let the NRA pick the nominee for the next SCOTUS justice. You know, the people who, I don’t know, decide the supreme law of the land! The NRA. The organization that would have this guy as a member of their board of directors. You know this guy:
Yes that’s NRA board member Ted Nugent, the guy who was just shown threatening the president and Hillary multiple times over. In fact if you go back to Idiots #12, we pointed out that Ted Nugent has a ridiculously long history of threatening to kill Obama, Hillary, and anyone else he doesn’t agree with. If Mitch McConnell gets his way, this man would have to approve of the next appointee to the Supreme Court. In fact Nugent’s rhetoric against Obama and Clinton is so toxic that it even inspired this man to take action and it led to his arrest:
But this whole thing is really pissing people off like Elizabeth Warren, who’s had enough of McConnell’s madness.
WASHINGTON — Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) accused Republicans of pure political obstruction of President Barack Obama’s judicial nominees Wednesday, prompting a shrug from Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who objected to her attempt to expedite 15 long-stalled appointees.
Warren took to the Senate floor in the afternoon seeking unanimous consent to bring up all the noncontroversial judges who have passed the Senate Judiciary Committee, but have not received votes on the Senate floor.
Pointing to a report she released Monday, the Massachusetts senator noted that Republicans have been approving nominees at a glacial pace since taking over the Senate in 2014, approving just 18 judges in this Congress. Judicial vacancies have skyrocketed from 43 to 89.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/warren-hits-petty-absurd-mcconnell-behavior_us_
Warren took to the Senate floor in the afternoon seeking unanimous consent to bring up all the noncontroversial judges who have passed the Senate Judiciary Committee, but have not received votes on the Senate floor.
Pointing to a report she released Monday, the Massachusetts senator noted that Republicans have been approving nominees at a glacial pace since taking over the Senate in 2014, approving just 18 judges in this Congress. Judicial vacancies have skyrocketed from 43 to 89.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/warren-hits-petty-absurd-mcconnell-behavior_us_
In fact McConnell has blocked every single one of Obama’s attempted appointees. Prompting the Washington Post to do some fact checking:
The Washington Post’s editorial board criticized Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s (R-KY) “patently ridiculous” claim that Supreme Court nominee Merrick Garland is ideologically extreme.
Since Garland’s nomination in March, groups like the Judicial Crisis Network, the National Federation of Independent Business and the National Rifle Association have made numerous false and misleading claims about Garland’s record to portray him as ideologically extreme. In fact, conservatives have praised Garland for years and multiple prominent conservative lawyers have announced their support for Garland’s nomination.
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2016/06/06/wash-post-debunks-mitch-mcconnell-s-absurd-claim-merrick-garland-ideologically-extreme/210740
Since Garland’s nomination in March, groups like the Judicial Crisis Network, the National Federation of Independent Business and the National Rifle Association have made numerous false and misleading claims about Garland’s record to portray him as ideologically extreme. In fact, conservatives have praised Garland for years and multiple prominent conservative lawyers have announced their support for Garland’s nomination.
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2016/06/06/wash-post-debunks-mitch-mcconnell-s-absurd-claim-merrick-garland-ideologically-extreme/210740
But the really sad thing? This isn’t the first time Senator Warren has called McConnell out for his nonsense. In fact in 2005, the republicans when Bush was appointing SCOTUS justices, the republicans brought up that Bush must be supported in his decision:
Senator Warren said in a statement, "Senator McConnell is right that the American people should have a voice in the selection of the next Supreme Court justice. In fact, they did - when President Obama won the 2012 election by five million votes."
After Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced that he would lead Republicans in obstructing President Obama yet again, this time by leading his party to abdicate their Constitutional duties, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) reminded McConnell that President Obama’s will is the will of the people and that he won by five million votes.
Then Warren proceeded to remind McConnell about that thing Republicans are always claiming to worship – the Constitution, specifically Article II, “Article II Section 2 of the Constitution says the President of the United States nominates justices to the Supreme Court, with the advice and consent of the Senate.”
Wait for it… “I can’t find a clause that says ‘…except when there’s a year left in the term of a Democratic President.'”
The next time a Republican waves their pocket version of the Constitution around as they drone on about the debt as an excuse for why they have not shown up to work for weeks, someone ought to remind them that they can’t pick and choose what works for them from the Constitution like they do from the Bible.
http://www.politicususa.com/2016/02/14/elizabeth-warren-reminds-mcconnell-pres-obama-won-million-votes.html
After Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced that he would lead Republicans in obstructing President Obama yet again, this time by leading his party to abdicate their Constitutional duties, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) reminded McConnell that President Obama’s will is the will of the people and that he won by five million votes.
Then Warren proceeded to remind McConnell about that thing Republicans are always claiming to worship – the Constitution, specifically Article II, “Article II Section 2 of the Constitution says the President of the United States nominates justices to the Supreme Court, with the advice and consent of the Senate.”
Wait for it… “I can’t find a clause that says ‘…except when there’s a year left in the term of a Democratic President.'”
The next time a Republican waves their pocket version of the Constitution around as they drone on about the debt as an excuse for why they have not shown up to work for weeks, someone ought to remind them that they can’t pick and choose what works for them from the Constitution like they do from the Bible.
http://www.politicususa.com/2016/02/14/elizabeth-warren-reminds-mcconnell-pres-obama-won-million-votes.html
In fact members of his own party asked him to step down:
A tea party-affiliated group is urging Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) to bow out of his reelection bid next year against Democratic rival Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes, citing concerns with the longtime senator's electability.
Matt Hoskins, the Senate Conservatives Fund's executive director, told the Washington Post Tuesday that McConnell isn't a strong enough candidate to face off against Grimes and that it may be time for him to "pass the torch."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/02/mitch-mcconnell-tea-party_n_3536897.html?utm_hp_ref=politics
Matt Hoskins, the Senate Conservatives Fund's executive director, told the Washington Post Tuesday that McConnell isn't a strong enough candidate to face off against Grimes and that it may be time for him to "pass the torch."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/02/mitch-mcconnell-tea-party_n_3536897.html?utm_hp_ref=politics
The fact that McConnell has to frequently be reminded of that document he claims we should support verbatim, is very sad. And you know what? Despite failing poll numbers, McConnell was elected to the senate anyway – for a fourth term! Bravo, well done Kentucky! And is it me or does Mitch McConnell remind me of the asshole heckler from Happy Gilmore? You will not fill this seat, jackass!!
McConnell has promised to shut down any and all discussion of filling the vacancy, even after President Obama nominated Judge Merrick Garland, a very well qualified judge with years of deep bipartisan support.
Back in March, McConnell’s penchant for obstruction earned him the title of most hated political figure in America according to Public Policy Polling.
On Saturday, McConnell spoke at an event in Fancy Farm, Kentucky, where he declared:
“One of my proudest moments" was when I told Obama "you will not fill this Supreme Court
http://www.ifyouonlynews.com/politics/mcconnell-one-of-my-proudest-moments-was-telling-obama-i-wouldnt-do-my-job-now-video/
Back in March, McConnell’s penchant for obstruction earned him the title of most hated political figure in America according to Public Policy Polling.
On Saturday, McConnell spoke at an event in Fancy Farm, Kentucky, where he declared:
“One of my proudest moments" was when I told Obama "you will not fill this Supreme Court
http://www.ifyouonlynews.com/politics/mcconnell-one-of-my-proudest-moments-was-telling-obama-i-wouldnt-do-my-job-now-video/
That’s Mitch McConnell – another one of the:
Season 2 of the Top 10 premiers 11/16! See you in two weeks!
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Seriously, thanks for the work putting these together.
Especially if we're unfortunately stuck with 4 years of President Trump. 