Muslims: My wife and I just moved her mother into a new memory care

[MineralMan]

Last edited Fri Nov 18, 2016, 02:26 PM - Edit history (1)

unit. The assisted living place where she previously lived no longer could cope with her increasing problems. We're in the Twin Cities in Minnesota. At her old place and at this new one, almost all of the paid care-givers are Muslims, primarily from East Africa. They're immigrants and many of them were refugees when they came here. Another group of excellent care-givers are Hmong immigrants.

It's a popular profession for these new Americans. Local community colleges have programs designed specifically to turn immigrants into healthcare workers. The pay is shitty, frankly, but it's a path. Some have gone on to get credentialed as LVNs and even RNs, after starting off in the lower paid jobs providing care.

Here's what's happening. These workers are caring, smart, and patient in dealing with difficult patients. Almost always. That's not as often true of typical native-born Americans, who tend to be impatient and quick to snark at older people with memory deficits and other problems. My wife and I have seen it time and again. So has her mother. She always prefers the women wearing head scarfs and the black men who speak with an accent to care for her. They're more compassionate than the others.

These are the very people Donald Trump wants to go away. These are the very people his followers harass in public places. I say, Screw that! I want people who are kind, patient and resourceful to be the ones caring for my mother-in-law. She's got a lot of problems and isn't getting better. She never will. She needs compassionate care, and that's what her immigrant care-givers are providing. Those are the people she hopes will come in when she needs the many care services she receives each day.

Donald Trump and his bigoted followers can kiss my ass. I'll stand with those people who do thankless jobs cheerfully and kindly. My wife and I thank them often for their service.

Thanks to all of those care-givers with accents and atypical dress. We appreciate what you're doing.

[spanone]

1. K&R...

[Auntie Bush]

2. 🙏🏻 to your wife's mother.

[uponit7771]

12. How does one do the emoji in reply line? thx so much in advance

[Auntie Bush]

30. I have an iPad...so it's easy an obvious. I don't know how to do on a computer or laptop.

[mainstreetonce]

3. You are lucky to find this facility

with these good people.
We put a parent in a facility staffed by people from the Phillipines .They were callous and uncaring.

[DesertFlower]

16. my late husband was in assisted living owned/run

by people from the Phillipines. they were wonderful. see my post.

[Laffy Kat]

4. So glad you posted this.

Worked as a unit clerk at a long-term care and rehab. center for a while a few years ago and noticed the same thing. The nurturing seemed to come naturally for most of my Muslim co-workers and I never figured out if was the religion or other cultural influences.

[GentryDixon]

5. My very favorite nurse I had when I was

hospitalized for a month was a lovely, caring Muslim woman. She was so kind, and had the most beautiful, colorful hijabs. It was fun seeing the different colors she wore each day. I looked forward to when she was on shift.

How anyone has so much hate as to discriminate against anyone who is not white and so called "Christian" is not something I can wrap my mind around. I fear for where this country is headed.

[MFM008]

6. Im glad you did

If my moms condition continues to deteriorate we will have to find an assisted living facility or something.

[blue sky at night]

7. I will take them any day....

My R e P u G mother "doesn't trust them"....f that! I have a friend, a black gentleman and he and I have the best conversations, he is a gem, love the guy! Thanks for the post, we all have to stick together to protect these folks!

[Omaha Steve]

8. From a DUer headed to a memory unit someday soon...

K&R!

OS

[Victor_c3]

29. I don't think we've ever really interacted in the past

But I've seen you're post a lot over the last few years and I know exactly what you are talking about.

I've spent a lot of time as a patient in various psychiatric units. Over the last 3 years, I've been an inpatient in a locked-down psych unit for about 1/3rd of that time. For whatever reason, I've met and seen a lot of guys with memory issues in the handful of hospitals I've been in. In general, the vast majority of the staff and every facility I've been in takes good care of the patients - even the ones that are a pain-in-the-ass. In these sorts of facilities you are surrounded by other people at similar points in their lives and, for me, that has been very comforting. Friends, amongst peers, are easy to come by.

Additionally, there is always something going on and the daily routine I've experienced isn't too bad. Holidays there aren't sad and depressing affairs either.

My extensive hospitalizations for my psych issues have shown me that nursing homes are nothing to be feared. In fact (and I'm kind of kooked-out in the head so take what I'm saying accordingly) but I mostly like being in a hospital more than being on the outside. I feel safe, I have no worries, and the guys I'm around are true friends and get where I'm coming from. I enjoy their company.

Don't be scared about that future. Honestly, living in a hospital is not a bad thing.

[NBachers]

9. My best friend ended up in a care facility in south Florida, staffed mostly by Haitians.

Without a doubt, they were the most caring, good humored, and helpful caregivers I've ever seen. I always enjoyed the time we spent at his rehab center.

A big shout out to the staff at Hollywood Rehab in Hollywood Florida.

[Hekate]

10. KnR

[mainer]

11. I would say the same about Hispanic and Filipino caregivers

immigrants who come from countries where the elderly are honored are the most patient and gentle of caregivers. When my mother had to go into assisted living, the most wonderful caregiver was a woman who had recently immigrated from Poland.

[riverwalker]

13. Nurse here (retired)

also in MN metro and loved working with immigrant staff, I learned so much from them. Had a nursing assistant from East Africa who always wore a flower in her hair, she looked just like Billie Holiday. I told her that and she was so puzzled, never heard of her. So I pulled up some You Tubes and showed her, and gave her one of my cassettes of Lady Day. Oh gosh I have so many stories. Both Obama elections I was the "go to" person for questions on voting and political system for them. When Zimmerman verdict came in one was astonished about the jury system and that regular citizens were the jury, he thought they had to be a panel of judges. They were magnificent caregivers, in spite of that, there were always racist and abusive patients, that made me pretty ashamed of my countrymen.

[alfredo]

14. Good story. Thanks

[DesertFlower]

15. my mom was in assisted living which was

run by people from romania. my late husband's assisted living was owned/run by people from the phillipines. i liked the one my husband was in because the owner/caregiver's room was right next to his and they were really friendly. i was always offered food and/or drink when i was there.

both facilities served amazing home cooked food. one of the reasons i chose my mom's facility was because of that. we're german decent and were raised on hearty stews and soups. i remember one day when i was visiting they were making stuffed cabbage. it looked and smelled so good.

i ate a few times at my husband's facility. one day she was cooking chicken soup and offered me some. another time my step daughter mentioned a phillipine dish her mom loved. the next day the owner cooked it. it was so good.

[Island Blue]

17. Both of my parents

have unfortunately spent time in hospitals over the past three years in northeastern NC and southeastern VA. Many of their doctors and nurses have been from countries other than the U.S. including my mom's (current) oncologist who is Syrian. My mom would not be alive today if not for this doctor and another doctor (from the Philippines) who saved her life last fall.

Donald Trump has no idea about what life is really like in America.

Best wishes to your mother-in-law. I'm glad she's in such caring hands.

[mopinko]

18. i live in one of the most ethnically diverse place on the planet.

much of chicago is heavily segregated, but not my hood. there are immigrants here from many countries, and it has been a landing spot for many years. heck decades.
i have a tenant from nigeria who is a nurse in one of the many nursing homes in my ward. she is a terribly sweet woman, who i cant imagine being unkind to anyone.

and the demographics are that unless they crack the code in the next decade, we are gonna need a whole lot more caring, patient people.
pretty sure cheeto's ascendance means they are in pretty short supply in the native population.

[trocar]

19. My Mom is in Assisted Living, I agree w your comments nt

[progressoid]

20. Ive recently done some work with memory care facilities.

The employees have a daunting task. I was impressed by their patience and care. Sadly, many aren't paid what they deserve.

[Liberal_in_LA]

21. Wonderful post

[Pacifist Patriot]

22. This has been my experience.

At the risk of generalizing, I too have found that immigrants and immigrant communities tend to have a deeper respect for the elderly, more compassion for people in unfortunate circumstances, and more patience when interacting with others. I can easily see what contributes to that. A shameful thing that Americans don't seem to grasp the value and importance of this type of community and personal character.

[MineralMan]

23. I think you're probably right.

[lonestarnot]

24. They are special angels!

[Scruffy1]

25. Same thing at the non-profit senior building that I work at part time.

Many of the visiting health care aids are from Easter Africa. They are all lovely people and do a great job. If they start to register Muslims this old agnostic will be first in line.

[Patiod]

26. God bless these folks, who get abused by residents

One night my dad called us from post-hospital rehab at a nursing home. He was put in with an Alzheimer's resident who was acting out, and he wanted us to come over and intervene.

We arrived late at night, got in through the employee door, and went to his room, where his roommate was carrying on about the goddamned n**** nurse.

We got my dad some water, helped him to the bathroom and back, and told him to hang on for the day or two more that he'd need to stay there before he came back home with us. My husband, who is a good man, went over and talked to the roommate, and asked him questions about his military service, which seemed to distract him and settle him down.

We apologized to the staff, and they said they were used to it - that a lot of old people hold these views and the dementia removes any filters they may have developed over the years.

[Fast Walker 52]

27. nice post but please fix the typo in the title

[MineralMan]

28. Done. My bad. I posted from my tablet. Mistyped.