Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny.....

[MichaelMcGuire]

Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day.



NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manhattan's Trump Tower to start the day.

According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function.

"God, look at this thing," said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. "Pitiful."

Trump, who in just over an hour would be appearing on the morning show Fox And Friends to assert that the president of the United States was not an American citizen, is said to have grasped the bulb of his penis with his thumb and forefinger and stretched the organ to its full 3-inch length before letting it go and leaving it to loll on an unruly tangle of mostly gray pubic hair. Noticing the pronounced droop of his scrotum, Trump glumly cupped his testicles in his hand and lifted them several inches until they reached the approximate height at which they had hung in his youth and even into early middle age.

Continue reading: http://www.theonion.com/articles/donald-trump-stares-forlornly-at-tiny-aged-penis-i,28589/

[Mojorabbit]

1. ewwww nt

[MichaelMcGuire]

8. I'm wanting this picture to feature on the DU homepage (nt)

[Marr]

2. lol, that's hilarious.

I love the Onion.

[MichaelMcGuire]

9. The Onion, does it best. (nt)

[dkf]

3. They were probably inspired by the whole vagina debate.

Now we can expect to see penis and vagina all over the place. Great.

[rurallib]

4. sometimes it is hard to tell the Onion from reality

I could totally see that happening with Mr. Biggest Ego having a reporter on hand to record it.

[tosh]

10. So true.

The one posted on DU last week with rMoney visiting a mfg plant and yelling at the workers to work harder - that one totally got me.

Both of these could so easily be real.

[mfcorey1]

5. Even for trump, this is in bad taste.

[SidDithers]

6. DU rec...

love the Onion.

The Onion Sport Network, however, was a great big pile of failure.

Sid

[SoutherDem]

7. You really should have given a warning!

I think I am going to lose my breakfast.

[hunter]

11. Poor fellow needs a teddy bear...

[lpbk2713]

12. "I know what I'll do !!1!" ... sez Trump.

"I'll go out and buy a big shiny Hummer!!"

[gordianot]

13. My eyes are burning I need eye drops! n/t

[goclark]

14. Can you take off his sky piece and

show his real head?

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

15. "Trump then left a trail of fecal matter and urine on his way to the bathroom

where his morning diaper awaited. This morning, he would don the heavy duty variety that would handle the accidents that were sure to come during a strenuous and emotional appearance on Fox and Friends."

[complain jane]

16. My eyes are bleeding. n/t

[MichaelMcGuire]

17. A wee something for the night crowd (nt)