Charles P. Pierce: Donald Trump Will Judge You

[babylonsister]

Donald Trump Will Judge You

You, yes you.
By Charles P. Pierce
Dec 22, 2016


I want the story about John Bolton's mustache to be true so very, very badly.

In case you missed it, and it's hard to believe anyone really did, El Caudillo del Mar-A-Lago was considering putting Evil Santa into a fairly significant position in the national security apparatus—apparently to keep General Flynn company on those long nightwatches where the good general waits for the Muslims to emerge from his chiffarobe. Those of us with memories that extend longer than 20 minutes ago recall that Bolton is a first-class kook who likely would have us at war with half the world before lunch. That, however, as the Independent informs us, was not the reason for his disqualification from a critical position in the onrushing catastrophe. More than anything else, it seems Bolton failed a casting call.

"That's the language he speaks. He's very aesthetic," said one person familiar with the transition team's internal deliberations. "You can come with somebody who is very much qualified for the job, but if they don't look the part, they're not going anywhere." Given Mr Trump's own background as a master brander and showman who ran beauty pageants as a sideline, it was probably inevitable that he would be looking beyond their résumés for a certain aesthetic in his supporting players. "Presentation is very important because you're representing America not only on the national stage but also the international stage, depending on the position," said Trump transition spokesman Jason Miller.

It was the mustache that killed his chances.

He didn't look the part. Honest to god, according to the head counselors at Camp Runamuck, that's what it was. Perhaps if he'd have twirled it while giggling horribly?

You can choose to be terrified by this method of staffing the government. I think it's hilarious. "A certain aesthetic in supporting players" is nice, too. (Madison? Too short. Franklin? Too old. Washington? God, those teeth. OK, this Hamilton guy looks OK. Let's give him a callback.) Apparently, the next government of the United States is going to run for 13 weeks and then get canceled and replaced by a government involving an orphan and a tender-hearted cop. Or some crime drama about coroners.

Also, they finally found a job for Kellyanne Conway, according to The New York Times.

With a soft-spoken approach that appeals to Mr. Trump…

OK, let's just stop here for a minute. Conway is a career ratfcker. Her entire gig is saying nasty things on television. That's how she made her bones as one of the bench-strength TV talkers—Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, and the late Barbara Olson were the starters—during the pursuit of Bill Clinton's penis in the 1990s. She was all over TV, saying nasty things. That was how you made your bones back in the day. Bill Maher made her a regular on her show. She even married one of the top ratcfckers on the legal side of the Clinton wars. Per The New Yorker:

Kellyanne's husband is George T. Conway III, who as a young lawyer played a historic—and largely hidden—role in the impeachment of Bill Clinton. Conway, a graduate of Harvard College and Yale Law School, worked at the New York City firm Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz, and was a member of the Federalist Society, the conservative organization that led many of the legal challenges to the Clinton Administration. When Paula Jones sued Bill Clinton for sexual harassment, Conway wrote the Supreme Court brief, though his name never appeared on it. The Court, in a landmark decision, agreed with Jones's argument that a sitting President could face a civil lawsuit. During depositions in the lawsuit, Clinton denied having a sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky, which eventually led to his impeachment trial. George Conway became deeply involved in getting out information from the depositions. During that period, he reportedly e-mailed Matt Drudge an infamous scoop about the shape of Clinton's penis.

more...

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a51799/donald-trump-will-judge-you/